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 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 2
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Beauty over age 45Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
For me, there is a difference between what I find aesthetically pleasing and what I'm sexually attracted to.



Basically, I can find a person perfectly beautiful and still not be attracted. For example, an in shape 25 year old in a bathing suit is beautiful, but I will most likely not be attracted to him because I'm attracted to more mature men these days.



On the other hand, I can be very sexually attracted even though I'm totally aware of a person's "shortcomings" in terms of beauty. In fact, I often find myself more attracted because of little flaws that are very personal to my partner.



In terms of how attractive I am myself, I believe that while I was probably more beautiful, technically speaking, at twenty than I am now, I feel much better about myself now than I ever have before, and that is reflected in the interest that is shown to me by men.



Also, maybe I'm totally deluded, but I think my boyfriend thinks I'm totally hot AND beautiful, and I've never even noticed him looking at another woman in my presence.
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 3
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 1:58:28 PM
For what it's worth, I kinda prefer an older woman. She's comfortable in her own skin, has some life experience, knows exactly who she is and what she's about. That quiet self-confidence is *very* attractive.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:08:16 PM

Women seem to have a shelf life


I don't agree with this.
I enjoy being my age.
I love every moment, as with age comes maturity.

I've met women who have a difficult time with the aging process.
Those are mostly the ones who will not divulge how old they are.
They are insecure, and feel that beauty is all that is important.
That's sad.

I find that men younger have no problem dating me.
Age is only a number.
It is your attitude that attracts, so make yours positive!

\/\/\/\/
EXCELLENT analogy goatdriver!
 goatdriver
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 5
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 2:17:19 PM
I think the "shelf life" thing is a myth perpetualated by the corporations who sell cosmetics that are supposed to make a women look younger.I remember the first time many years ago when a 30 year old woman complained to me that she was over the hill."You must be kidding!" is what I told her.Nobody should get wrapped up in any mass marketting scheme. Give me a mature woman any day because youth is replaced with "Chic".
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 7
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 3:55:35 PM
I'm in lillimarleen's camp.

I don't find young girls attractive at all. I've observed myself over ,my lifetime, and found that as I aged, my upper limit of attraction fluctuated much more than my lower range. The lower age for me always seems to be a just a few years younger than me, while the upper range goes back and forth, higher and lower.

For the most part, after the basic shapes and sizes are more or less aligned, what turns me on more than anything else, is the look in the woman's eyes. If I see someone fascinating in there, I am turned on. If she seems vapid, or frighteningly immature, I am turned off. There are VERY few really young women who have the look of wisdom, insight, or experience in their eyes, which connotes a depth of personality, as I tend to find in women my own age. But I also find some STATISTICALLY beautiful women in my own age group, who still have NO interesting character in their faces at all.
But I have to admit, I DO still need the basic shapes and sizes to match up.

As for whether or not you'll see a recognizable change in society at large, I would doubt that VERY much. People as a bunch of critters really haven't changed much in the last ten thousand years, at least. You MIGHT see a small shift on what gets portrayed in commercials, and in movies, but that will be seen to match shift for shift with the change in the average age and SPENDING POWER of women.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 8
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/27/2011 9:40:01 PM
Age is pretty much what you make of it. Fear it, and it'll destroy you.

Beauty doesn't have much to do with it. If it's *all* you've got, you're likely already in trubble.

Get on with it; life's awasting, lol!

 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 10
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 1:00:03 AM
People who are insecure about their age will put only younger people on *their list as a way to feel they still have it.

I prefer not to view age as any type of limit or a way to exclude someone...it is simply a number. I had a man tell me last year he could never date a woman who was older than him; he just didn't feel that was right. I took that as a clue ...about who he was...it was enough for me to realize we wouldnt work cause I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who had such unreasonable limits on their life....

If I am attracted to a man and he isnt attracted to me...so what...it is not that important....people go on and on about how men get to date younger and blah blah blah...but if they are having to date younger cause of a lack inside themselves...do you really feel jealous? Wouldn't you prefer that the person you were with was with you cause they liked you...not your age?
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 13
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 10:32:59 AM
Sorry, I don't get the sense the OP is "whining" at all, but simply raising an unfortunate reality for many. Of course that's not counting those who "don't live by society's perceptions".... and who seem to protest "too much" (LOL)!

Can only speak for myself, but part of it seems to be that if women traditionally embody physical "beauty" and "desire" (whatever the "standard"), then the simple fact is that "time" is much less kind to those particular qualities, than say such traditional male ideals as "ruggedness", "virility", "assertiveness", "courage", "being capable", etc. (which all have less to do with "appearance" anyway).

That said, I personally don't care so much re: age, it's all about the "attitude".... and BTW, regardless, there's a reason the brain is called the "biggest sex organ"!
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 14
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 2:41:53 PM
That is the thing Mateo...it is not an unfortunate reality for many...it is for a vocal group who seek to justify whatever quality is missing from themselves...women who think younger men are after them so they still have it or men who exclusively date much younger women..so they think they still got it...people who's whole persona is concerned with HOW THEY LOOK vs WHO THEY ARE...

Many many modern day company have complete abandon using younger *perfect models for commercials and started using REAL beautiful people ...Dove especially has a complete line of products that was based on meeting the needs of older skin; they used beautiful older REAL models to make their point that beauty can be found at any age.

The difference is that most of us when we were younger will admit to have been HUNG up on looks...(some of us were more advanced and developed personalities :P) but one of the most amazing thing about age is WISDOM...we have learned that the best looking people normally aren't worth putting up with...(not all but most have to have a fresh diet of compliments to be able to survive or their egos start to wilt). Hopefully by now our whole viewpoint on what is beautiful and attractive has changed...it is the gleam in the eye; the sense of humor; the wisdom, intelligent..the character that makes the WHOLE person (not just the looks) attractive to us.

I do not feel that I am less attractive now than I was when I was in my 20's; it is simply a different beauty. I think those who were used to a ton of attention in the past and having developed the maturity to realize that it is quality vs quantity that is important. If a man prefers a younger *model based strictly on looks vs me then he doesnt have the wisdom and intelligence I would want in a partner so why should it upset me in the least. He is finding someone who he feels will make his life better and I would wish him all the best...why would I blame him or the younger person...his depth is showing me that he wouldnt be able to handle the intense connection that I want in a relationship...I want something more than skin deep.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 15
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 2:53:30 PM

I was just reading another thread and thought, 'Why does beauty have to equal youth?' Do you think that anything will ever change that standard? Men have the luxury of continuing on with dating, going out with younger women for their vanity's sake, and nobody thinks a thing about it. Women seem to have a shelf life. Even though I'm healthy, take care of myself, and look younger than my age, its still there. And men seldom will put women over their own age on their dating list. Is it age, beauty standards, or what?

Interesting take on this. I had the opposite problem. The younger men were all about dating me, the men my age? Dating younger women. Took me a very long long time to meet someone age-appropriate for me. I don't see anyone as having a shelf-life ~ I think these things are generally perceived by one's personal experiences. JMO
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 16
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 4:17:56 PM

That is the thing Mateo...it is not an unfortunate reality for many...it is for a vocal group who seek to justify whatever quality is missing from themselves...women who think younger men are after them so they still have it or men who exclusively date much younger women..so they think they still got it...people who's whole persona is concerned with HOW THEY LOOK vs WHO THEY ARE...

Many many modern day company have complete abandon using younger *perfect models for commercials and started using REAL beautiful people ...Dove especially has a complete line of products that was based on meeting the needs of older skin; they used beautiful older REAL models to make their point that beauty can be found at any age.

The difference is that most of us when we were younger will admit to have been HUNG up on looks...(some of us were more advanced and developed personalities :P) but one of the most amazing thing about age is WISDOM...we have learned that the best looking people normally aren't worth putting up with...(not all but most have to have a fresh diet of compliments to be able to survive or their egos start to wilt). Hopefully by now our whole viewpoint on what is beautiful and attractive has changed...it is the gleam in the eye; the sense of humor; the wisdom, intelligent..the character that makes the WHOLE person (not just the looks) attractive to us.

I do not feel that I am less attractive now than I was when I was in my 20's; it is simply a different beauty. I think those who were used to a ton of attention in the past and having developed the maturity to realize that it is quality vs quantity that is important. If a man prefers a younger *model based strictly on looks vs me then he doesnt have the wisdom and intelligence I would want in a partner so why should it upset me in the least. He is finding someone who he feels will make his life better and I would wish him all the best...why would I blame him or the younger person...his depth is showing me that he wouldnt be able to handle the intense connection that I want in a relationship...I want something more than skin deep.

Somehow all that reminds me of a cartoon I saw recently, of a couple gals commiserating together. And one of 'em says to the other, "I want someone who will love me for who I think I am"!
 RickInRaleigh
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 17
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/28/2011 6:10:35 PM
Fundamentally, when you peel away all the social layers and rules, it comes back to biology. We can say we're "evolved" and such, but the mating part of our brains is pretty basic. Men look for beauty to have have good looking children who will also be successful in mating, and women look for strong defenders and good providers (money). You can argue the details, but that's at least how the attraction works. These are generalizations and I would personally not want to be in a relationship with somebody who has no idea who Johnny Carson was!

From a male POV, I think we consider women attractive who are in child-bearing years and again, look healthy and would be good mothers. That does NOT mean, however, that we're thinking that consciously!

Personally, I don't mind somebody being older as long she takes care of herself to a reasonable degree and isn't trying to cover up with a ton of make-up and clothes nobody over 18 should wear.

That's my pop psychology thought for the day.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 18
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/29/2011 7:58:27 AM

Humans are backwards.
In the animal kingdom it's usually the MALE that is pretty while the FEMALE is drab and plain.

It kinda depends on the local culture and historical cycles. In places like Milan, it'll be the men wearing the bright trousers, pocket squares and colorful shoes, while the women are much more understated, in linens and earth tones. Or in Niger, where the men dress up in elaborate clothing and decorate their famously grinning faces with traditional makeup to hopefully catch the eye of a woman to marry. Or even the 18th century French Dandies, where men lavishly worked on appearing "the perfect gentleman".

Actually, it usually seems to be the traditional "WASP" cultures where women tend to be more "decorative". Though that may be changing now, with the rise of things like tats, piercings, and various "youth" styles, like "Emos", Goths, and Hipsters.
 Blue-Eyes-Shine
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 19
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/30/2011 12:56:21 AM
I see a lot of beautiful on here and IRL, women over 45. I was thinking about this the other day...do you remember what your Grandma looked like? I don't see Grandmas that look as old as my grandmother did and they had their children younger.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 20
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/30/2011 3:37:45 PM
To the OP (Song Bird):
You are a beautiful woman. Period. Irregardless of your age. I would have dated you, and pursued you when I was 25, and if you were closer I would now, at age 60. In the past 2.5 years, I have dated women as old as 67, and as young as 39. (The 39 year old contacted me, I have made no initial contacts to anyone more than 10 years younger.)

And I think you are missing the point about Aunt Bee versus Helen Mirren. Aunt Bee looked like your grandmother, no one looked at her and felt sexual attraction. Most men, of any age, look at Helen Mirren and excuse themselves to the bathroom for a few minutes.

After re-reading that last sentence, I should probably clarify that I am talking about masturbation here.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 21
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/30/2011 6:57:19 PM
Beauty has always been in the eyes of the beholder. And, we all know if we're beautiful, or not, and to what degree as well; after all, very few are perfect 10's, and very few are 1's as well. The problem always lies in those who aren't as beautiful as they like to think they are, and get upset because the rest of the world (most often that refers to the object of their unrequited affections) doesn't give them the attention they want.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 22
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/31/2011 8:26:24 AM
the man i have been seeing is five years younger than my age, 51. he thinks i am beautiful. so it's all in the eye of the beholder.


That's really what it's all about, isn't it. If somebody's "into" you, you're always still gonna be the most attractive thing in the room to them... regardless of "standards" or age!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 23
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:19:23 AM
I get what the OP is saying, but can't we say the same thing about a lot of things "society" puts on a pedestal???? Good looks. Good job. Good house(abode). Good car. Etc,etc,etc.

You, as a member of your society, can follow the norm, or you can do what you want to do without looking at "socety's" level of expectations or acceptance. Personally, I don't follow, just for the sake of following. I don't follow "expectations" unless I feel I should. I'll go out with someone younger, not because of their age, or even their "look",but because "I" find them interesting and appealing. Phuck em all if they want to label me,(again because of "society's" beliefs).

I would also suggest OP, that you look at a few more profiles of some men. Many of us have higher "limits" set on our age restrictions, but they are reasons why we still are here.(It isn't always the man's "fault" in this scene of what society "accepts or expects") I would also suggest if you don't like what "society" is telling you, change it!!!!!! Or at the very least, change it for yourself and your needs/wants. It ain't rocket science, but of course you have to have the backbone to stand upright with your convictions and choices. Most people can't, that's why they follow.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 24
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/31/2011 12:21:28 PM

That's really what it's all about, isn't it. If somebody's "into" you, you're always still gonna be the most attractive thing in the room to them... regardless of "standards" or age



That's so true. Now comes the hard part.... finding someone who I can razzle, dazzle...lol

...mae
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 25
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:35:05 PM
^^ Just from the looks of things that shouldn't be too difficult (and hey, a little dopamine here, some endorphins there.... LOL)!
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 26
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/1/2011 8:32:39 AM
Beauty doesn't have to equal youth, but the fact is there are more beautiful, youthful people. You would think that people in their 40+ would have more knowledge and greater incentive to be healthy, but they do not. Once you have that knowledge, making yourself more attractive is a choice.

I don't see how you can reason that men go out with younger women for vanity's sake. They go out with younger women because younger women keep themselves healthier and look better. If older women did the same, there would not be such an imbalance.

Given equal beauty, age is not a factor. And, I know plenty of women over 40 who are healthy and beautiful.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 27
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/1/2011 12:37:51 PM

An old man will choose a not terribly attractive young women over a beautiful older woman just so he can tell his buddies he is dating a woman 10 or more years younger.


So, the guy now has a woman with whom he has nothing in common and has no desire to have sex with, but is happy because he thinks he has shown his friends up? Oh, and lets not forget he is picking up the check for this too(something guys complain about even when the women is a knockout).

Think about this for a moment, when was the last time you saw an unattractive trophy wife?

I just don't agree with that argument.
 vanityfair55
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 28
Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/1/2011 4:55:02 PM
I have to agree with you on this VelmaValento!
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 29
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/1/2011 7:01:38 PM
Wow, sounds like lotsa "mature" female bitterness here.... an attitude which also has a big impact on our perceptions of "attractiveness" and "beauty". And BTW, isn't cynicism and bitterness much more associated with "age" (which might also help explain the attraction of "younger women")?
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 30
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Beauty over age 45
Posted: 8/3/2011 1:57:21 PM
Msg 52 - Velma

After having read a lot of posts about how bad older women look, I went through a large sampling of profiles and the majority of them look very good.

I fully agree. Many look very good, indeed (on their 5-10 year old photos, that is). Unfortunately, when you finally meet them, they look often more - what's the right word - yes, more mature. And we've heard that some men are also guilty of using old photos.
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