Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > a question for future baby mamas      Home login  
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 2
a question for future baby mamasPage 1 of 1    
No baby mama here and NEVER plan on it. I like my freedom and like not having to deal with babies.

Just meet women who do not want any or have any. They are out there.

Most people or I should say a lot ( 85% , cite that source ? Where did you get that from, what Country, etc.) simply want a family. Which is fine. There are people all the time who have kids to just have them as well. All I can speak for is myself, never was interested in it.

Kids are a HUGE financial situation. Part of the reason I did not want any was I saw so much divorce, and nonsense from the aftermath, I did not want to be one of those women hounding a man for child support or having to be in touch with a man for the rest of the Kid's life. I do not hate Children, I just knew way ahead of time ( from age 9 or so ) I did not have ANY interest in it. I did not want dolls, I did not play house and sure as hell got on birth control the DAY I met someone I eventually married.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 3
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 8:27:57 AM
You can't polarize a thread based in gender btw-

I would say that most women have a maternal instinct- and familial. We have the hormones that are designed to nuture and nest.
That's it in a nutshell.

As far as bringing it up before meeting I'd say yikes unless one of you is specifically wanting to know up front if they want kids ( anytime soon etc).

Based on your age -30- if you're dating women in their late 20's and early 30's that's prime baby time if they're wanting children.
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 4
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 8:31:00 AM

I have no intentions of having kids and I am not interested in raising your kids

OP...that blurb from your profile is contradicted by your selecting not sure/undecided to the do you want to have children question, in your profile. You might want to change that....

You're 30...if you're dating in your general age group then odds are you are going to run into 2 groups of women: those that do already have children, and those who hope to have children in the near future.

As to the why of that...there is no way to logically explain the desire to (eventually) become a parent to someone who lacks that desire. I imagine there ARE women who fit your description (having kids w/o any thought put into it), but am rather sure the majority do not....most of us who have become parents have done so well aware of the responsibilities, obligations, and risks....we just think the rewards are worth all that.

You should keep your fishing pole in the water seeking a 30ish woman who neither has nor wants children...ever. They DO exist, you know....
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 5
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 9:17:36 AM
I don't plan on being a "baby mama" to anyone, but I'll answer this question.


You stated 85% of women you talk to would like to have children, regardless of the economy and the current financial crisis. Are you indicated that this "85%" is financially unstable? With all honesty, I don't even understand why any of that would concern you because according to your profile you don't want kids of your own and could avoid that apparent issue of yours by simply dating childless women with no intentions of having kids.
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 6
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 9:46:18 AM
Find a girl with more going for her than her ability to procreate.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 7
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 9:58:40 AM
Put this question to women and men that raised girls to think this is what they were made for.
Usually uneducated or some religious thing.

You are hanging with the wrong crowd.
Seek those like minded.

Who cares what Carrleene and Sharrleene want?

Fine a Mustang Sally.

Oh and snip that thing to ensure you don't get one of those famous "broken rubbers"
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 8
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 10:16:10 AM

why is it when I talk to a woman like 85% of the time the MOST important thing for them is to have a baby,

Because for a woman, of child bearing age, this can be great desire.
She will not be rational about this, usually. So she won't consider economics.

Sure if I had a ton of cash, not in debt and could afford to feed, cloth, and put a kid through college, and know poeple that could set him/her up in the future for a good career sure I see no problem.

Well thats rational thought.

Just like when men get sexually aroused, he loses grasp on rational thought. This is why its said the woman has him wrapped around her finger.

but I see women they are just having kids or want to have a kid just because they want to regardless

Yup. This is typical. You'll see a lot of this.
Thier biological clock ticks down, and the desire to make a baby can override rational thought.
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 9
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 11:12:48 AM
I think that most women who want to have a baby, don't neccessarily need to have a baby NOW. But they want to know that anyone they are dating wants them in the future. I won't date a guy who doesn't want kids at all, because down the road I would like more children. If our goals don't match now, why would I waste my time when I know we aren't going to be in the same place in the future?!

regardless of economic, political, or even sometimes financial issues.

What does politics have to do with having a baby? And if you are looking at economics/finances, there will always be some excuse NOT to have a child. Unless you are struggling with insane amounts of debts, now is just as good of a time as 5 years in the future. It's all about budgeting and planning for a child. With someone you are in a stable, committed relationship with of course....
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 11:53:39 AM
I'm so in fear of losing my freedom I've avoided dogs and houseplants for most of my life, so I can't imagine why a woman would want to have a child. However so long as she's not doing so on your timeline - don't worry about it. If you really never want kids, though - it's on YOU to prevent it happening in your life. Have sex defensively like the rest of us.
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 11
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 12:30:20 PM

Sure if I had a ton of cash, not in debt and could afford to feed, cloth, and put a kid through college, and know poeple that could set him/her up in the future for a good career sure I see no problem.

You seem to be a very insecure person. Yes, you need to be in a financial situation where you can buy food and clothing for your child. But do you really need to worry about things that will happen in ten, twenty or even 25 years (i.e. the career of the kid)?

This is how I look at it. I will have my baby (hopefully) with an intelligent and committed partner. So while I cannot predict the future, I can predict that we will do everything in our power to make this child happy. And that is good enough for me.

So where are the 85%? Ladies, look at my profile :)
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 12:57:25 PM
It's human nature.
Females were made to procreate.
That in itself can over rule economic, political and financial issues.

Just look at the animal world.
They have no concern.
And in case you have not noticed, we are also mammals.

Hopefully the woman that you are polling (like 85%) at lease have the smarts to be in good position before they allow pregnancy.

As for yourself, it sounds like you don't want any offspring.
And that is ok.
Just make sure you mate with someone who thinks like you do.

Myself, I had my first child when I was dead broke.
However we made it through.
I did a lot of sacrificing, and he grew up to be a wonderful young man.
Would I have changed what happened.
Children can be an absolute blessing ... and I've been blessed threefold.
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 13
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 1:39:35 PM
It is a primitvie desire that HUMANS have. Yes, even some men have a deep desire to have children.

I know men personally who left thier wives who were more career oriented to marry women who would give them children.

If you dont want kids, then just be open about it, there are people of both sexes who agree with you.

And waiting till you have 'enough' money, room etc...? Well, Im in the camp that says 99% of the earths population was born to parents who were 'not ready' on paper and made things work just fine. If we all waited till we were ready on paper, the human race would have died off years ago. are never 100% ready for this is a work in progress!
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 14
view profile
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 3:54:22 PM
Oh, the last thing I want is another kid... and I despise the ghetto term "baby mama".

As for having the kids... if everyone waited until they were financially capable of raising a child with all the bells and whistles, then there would be no problem with overpopulation such as there is now.

So guys... Jack off and avoid contributing to this issue!
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 15
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 7:29:09 PM
Alot of women want kids of their own, that's nothing new. Yes, there's such women who want kids whether they can afford or not, or just want someone to love them etc.... but not all women are like that..

Women like me who want kids but want to have them someday when I have met the right person and actually smart about this...

But there's also unplaned pregnancies too so yaaaa
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 17
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 8:10:28 PM
Lets face it, not too many of us were "planned" pregnancies, but our mothers kept us and we are alive today to discuss this. If you are really waiting to have a gazillion dollars in your account with every loan paid off then you could be well in your 60s before choosing to have a kid. Its different btw men and women because women have to face the dreaded ticking clock. It ticks louder when you approach 40. Men can continue to make babies well into their 70s and beyond. Women who dont have any kids by a certain age feel pressure, and believe me there is aid thru the community and maybe from the familes involved.

Dont make excuses: Find a good woman, marry her, give her a couple of kids and strive for a happy life. The ends justify the means, so being a parent means making sacrifices. I can assure you its worth it when you look at your kids with pride.
Joined: 6/12/2011
Msg: 18
a question for future baby mamas
Posted: 7/28/2011 10:52:03 PM
Do I want to be a mom..HELL YEAH.
Do I want to do it regardless of father, political, and financial well being..and just to have a baby to love me for ever not caring about the consequences with some random man because I'm in my mid 30's...HELL NO!
If I wanted to have a baby for selfish reason and damn the consequences I would have gone out and gotten knocked up years ago.
I want a family with a husband who wants a family who is right man for me. If I don't meet that man before my clock is done ticking I will hopefully have put myself in the financial position I need to be in to do it solo before I'm 40. But that will be a last resort. I will be approaching mother hood as mindfully and prepared as I can but as most mom's know you can never really be prepared for the wonders of parenthood..single or was part of a couple.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > a question for future baby mamas