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Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 1
Gettting no where with this site?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Ok, so here is the deal. I have been trying this site out now for I am going to say maybe four months. I have messaged many women on here and most of the time get absolutely nothing back. I do not use generic messages for the most part, but will use one here and there when there is no info about them on the about me. I have talked with very few on this site and it basically went no where, and the one that attempted to go somewhere never went haha. Anyway a little help, maybe some tips of even possibly a hang out from this would be nice (=

Joined: 11/27/2010
Msg: 2
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 7/29/2011 6:36:33 PM
Hello MX,
First thing I want to ask you is "What is the message you are sending to the woman?"
Do you send something like "Wow!" or "Your hot!" Which to me would not garner a response but rather a question mark from me.
If the message you send sounds too generic/cut and paste, I would presume (from my experience) that the woman realizes this and would refuse to answer knowing that she is not dealing with a man who is truly interested in her.
I would make each message more personal and one that actually will show that you have read her profile. It means a lot to a person.

Just my opinion and don't be in too much of a hurry. I've been on this site since November and have had no luck yet but I haven't given up hope of finding that one man whom we both find mutually attracted to.
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 3
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 7/29/2011 9:19:38 PM
I think he's made it clear that his messages aren't generic, otherwise I agree with the above post.

Then again, I'm not getting much luck either; maybe the Cali girls are just rough, lol
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 4
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:10:55 AM
No they are not generic at all, I actually take the time to read profiles and pin point specific things, mainly common interest, or things that I am interested in that are new to me. If there is a physical feature that I like, different style, tattoo, or eye color, that I can not resist I may comment on that. Nothing overwhelming, you are hot, sexy, or any of that cheesyness. I have standards and specifics that I look for in a women and am not all just about 1 night stands, there for I look for the better qualities in a women!
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 5
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:20:47 AM
As for what you said (ndr), sadly I am going to have to agree with you on the Californian women being rough. Not all but most are, I work in retail and the only women that we really get coming in that are genuinely nice, happy and well rounded are foreigners, mainly Australians and the English. It seems that most Southern California women are out for one of two things most of the time I come across them. Fame/Popularity or Fortune. If you have none of those they do not seem to care about you, no matter what other great qualities a man has. It seems all of the ones who are genuine and (real) are already taken or have been taken advantage of and have a brick wall built to the clouds. This does not go for every women that lives in California, I know there are few out there that are worth my time they are just hard to find.
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 6
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 7/31/2011 10:15:18 AM
I went out on a date with a beautiful Latin women in Hollywoos last night, so I guess it is not me. Took forever to get her to go out but she is going through a lot right now. I am just wondering what every ones excuse on here is?
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 7
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 7/31/2011 11:23:49 AM
Maybe post some better photos. No offense, but the bitter facial expression & tight shirt photo in the mirror has been done. They all have the same complaints too. Go outside and throw a rock, you'll probably hit someone who's posting the same thing online - Which means you're competing with everyone else who's playing the same act.
And you might want to buy an actual camera, hell Big Lots has decent ones for $50. There is a world out there, california is a very big state with a lot of scenery - Why bother standing in the bathroom? That's what every other single guy is doing. One example is I used to go to the trainyards and take pictures with some of the graffiti murals. Yeah I know, I got lazy and took some couch shots - but I dont have those problems anymore.
I wouldn't date a girl who posts nothing but bathroom photos and duckface shots, it says a lot for how much time they're willing to put into finding someone. You know how many bathrooms shots I've seen where the girl doesn't even bother to clean the mirror? Yech..Quality over quantity, bro.

A description helps, yours says nothing other then your bitterness for why nobody talks to you - Consider that the two are in correlation with each other. Women just don't like that, there's an old saying that "If we could see ourselves as others see us, we would vanish on the spot." Put yourself in their shoes - would you talk to you if you were a woman on the internet looking for a suitable guy to date?
And what you do have is rife with spelling errors - women do check those sorts of things, they aren't as stupid as some people think.

You express a lot of wanting to hang out in clubs and bars. I don't need to go into that because you know what I'm going to say..Playing devils advocate though - I was 22 at one point. I think.

Last but not least: Your keywords. You stress in a lot of them that you're into working out and partying. Maybe cut those 20 keywords that all say the same thing down to 3 and think of some other things you like doing? Ok here's an example: "Motocross" and "Offroading"..Those are the exact same thing, so just say "Offroad Racing" or think of a term that combines the two into something more general. Like, I'm into bike riding (I ride a lot). I could say "Offroad" "BMX" "Freestyle" "Racing" and just pollute the keyword pool with nonsense - but that discourages women and they would move on.

Hope this helps. The idea is to be different and have something that helps you stand out from the usual gang of idiots.
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 8
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/1/2011 10:11:43 AM
Thanks (All) Have put different photos up and will work on my profile when I get home. Thanks for the tips!
Joined: 5/31/2010
Msg: 9
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/1/2011 10:51:33 AM
try dressing up differently. dress high class and post new pics of urself. women are picky. alot of gurls on here have children and still dating. i think its the females on here. they want the perfect guy. keep tryin.
Joined: 7/18/2010
Msg: 10
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/1/2011 11:08:38 AM
Np. You need things to make you STAND OUT in a crowd of people. I say this all the time, but dating is like applying for a job, and your resume is your profile. They'll be scrutinizing you until you make it past the 2nd date, if you're lucky enough to get that far. Not to sound like a negative nancy, but they are always on the alert looking for red flags to discredit you on - they have 100 other emails to sift through. Do some research on what those red flags are and avoid them like the plague - don't give them a reason to blow you off. Psychology has taught me that people are always drawn to the negative side of things, even if they don't admit it or realize they're doing it. They might see 10 things they like about you, but then one thing comes along and they get it in their head that its a complete deal-breaker. Sucks but its true, I've received many replies about an insignificant detail that would be minor to you or I but a big thing for them. There's an old saying that "It is better to remain silent and thought to be a fool then speak out and remove all doubt." It takes a lot of time to seriously hone a nice profile, even mine still sucks - but I dont usually have a problem finding people to talk to.

Also look up murphy's laws of dating, there's a whoooole list of them and will serve you well in your time of need. My favorite one is "The nicer someone is, the farther away she is from you". Out of all of the women I've ever messaged that live in the same city, only one has ever replied..Keep this in mind.
And if you have time, read up on the "Ladder Theory" also..Its interesting, to say the least. You'd be surprised what some research can accomplish for learning real-world skills, and its not like they teach it in class.
And dating is a lot of playing the odds. I've gone on enough dates over the last year or so, I've turned down as many women that have turned me down and very few of them have gone past the 1st date - but the point is you have to get your foot in the door first.
Joined: 5/24/2008
Msg: 11
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I like the Ladder Theory
Posted: 8/1/2011 11:37:55 AM
Thanks for sharing this! I quite enjoyed and think that there is more than a grain of truth in this.

I have learnt that timing can sometimes place you in one category or another. For example, some women base their initial reaction on where to place someone on their respective ladder based on physical attraction. Only afterwards, when they realize that the person is shy or a geek, regardless of their physical appearance, they place them into the other category.

Once you have jumped ladders, there is no going back. Best to look for someone else.
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 12
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/1/2011 2:24:06 PM
Changing your profile from negative stuff to positive would be a good start. You have some great pictures up and one showing a silly side. You also have "hanging out" and not looking for a relationship of any kind which is okay but maybe change it to dating? Dating doesn't mean commitment. Saying hanging out makes one question what does it mean.
Joined: 6/30/2011
Msg: 13
view profile
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/2/2011 5:53:07 PM
Well one thing woman won't go for is 'dating but nothing serious"
That's a red flag right there for woman and they will stay away from you.
That's telling a dating partner she's only good for one thing and nothing else!
Sorry but true..............
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 14
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/3/2011 9:05:53 AM
Thanks for all of the tips and info, I have already been messaged. I have partial updated profile and am still working on it. If a few of you would like to take a look at what I have done so far and provide some feedback I would greatly appreciate it. Cheers!
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 15
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:03:55 PM
I've been on this site for like a combined 7 months?

I've made friends with a few girls, and met less, could have been in a relationship with one but she wasnt my type once I got to know her.

This site is a realy good way to go on dates and make friends, but it will take time and effort to get a relationship out of it, basicly like it is outside of the site.

However, you do get to meet a lot more people at a much faster rate, so just keep trying.
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 16
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/5/2011 2:41:28 PM
How is the new profile looking?
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 17
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/5/2011 4:18:50 PM
I like to hear from the women on what Paul said also.
Joined: 5/4/2011
Msg: 18
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/6/2011 12:08:00 PM
Not really urgent, I guess I am just tired of sitting in the house on Friday and Saturday nights. All of my friends who I use to go out with are all in relationships and do not do anything but stay in anymore. When they go out it is no fun being the 3rd arm. It would be nice to just do some dating & hanging out here and there.
Joined: 8/23/2010
Msg: 19
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/6/2011 4:07:35 PM
You're preaching to the choir dude. I have no idea what it is but the same thing happens to me. Hell even women who message me and say they want to hangout and suddenly bam nothing. It's just this site dude women are hella finicky on it.
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 20
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/12/2011 1:28:06 PM
I come from a generation that pretty much believes in approaching a woman if you are interested, getting her number and not fear rejection. You would get made fun of so bad just for making a personal ad in the newspaper back in the day. However in this new social networking society the younger crowd believes in personal ads, instant messaging and text messaging and talking over the phone is unheard of. In other words justifying their fear of rejection online. The truth is women on here act like they are not dealing with a recession just as much as the men are. And a lot of these unread deleted messages have to do with your social status. They may indicate otherwise on their profile saying I don't care about how much money you make yadayadayada, its bold face lie. So yeah its got nothing to do with us we're just getting sized up (this guy can't take care of me and my kids mentality). Newsflash I never had any intention of taking care of anyone but myself ! We already know your kids come first in your life come up with something more creative for a change on your profile! Women who have no kids? I get absolutely no response from them. So I don't take it personally many profiles indicate they are looking for a sugar daddy and with today's economy It's expected. It's the same women on this site that insist you buy them a drink at the club and buy their friends a drink and have no intention of dancing with you etc.etc. Me and my homeys call them women blue balling liquor pimps! Stay clear and always date younger women its always gonna be less headache because they are not sour yet. Next time they start getting smart with you telling you their demands and expectations ask them if they can even afford to take care of themselves. Let the women with the baggage carry their own baggage for a change. They need to sign up to a sugar daddy site and stop wasting everyone's time. For example why would you create a profile on here and say youre not interested in meeting or dating anyone? Get a dog if you're lonely.
Joined: 1/7/2011
Msg: 21
view profile
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/14/2011 5:02:21 PM
I'm having the same problem and not sure why that is.I have a nice,current photo of me up and pertinent info about me and what im looking for.I'm getting no responses whatsoever especially when i send them a message first.Another thing,i read their profile,i match their criteria in what they are looking for and they dont respond back,i don't understand it!Can any ladies give me any advice? Thx
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 22
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/14/2011 5:12:58 PM
Kek - You seem like a nice man, in other words: boring. Go to the profile section and get reamed, er, I mean reviewed over there, and follow some of their suggestions.
Basically as I see it, you lack a "hook" to capture a woman's interest. Imagine that a woman goes out with you the first time, and the next day at work her co-workers want to know ALL about it. What is she going to say, and how will they react?
You need something of interest going on, not sitting at home watching some game. That isn't gonna do it these days.
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 23
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/14/2011 5:33:42 PM
I've never offered myself up to the tender mercies of the profile review forum, my need for additional pain is zero however I think I have a useful insight into the mind of mature babes.

They want to know what your dreams are, not dreams when you are sleeping, but the future stuff. I recall a date with an unusually attractive, assertive woman where in the first minute she asked outright what my dream was? I was flumoxed and stammered and I could see the already tiny spark of interest vanish from her eyes. It was humiliating but useful to me as a person.... most of my dreams were small, unattractive to women, and more consistent with career burnout and a desire to live a life of ease except for more golf.

I'm not a babe but I suspect your profile reads to women like a guy without dreams (beyond the Old Course and Dodger seats on the 3rd baseline).
Joined: 3/19/2010
Msg: 24
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/14/2011 7:38:58 PM
I have been on here for several months and get pretty much the same thing. I have no desire to share my message here as others will surely use it and I need all the help I can get.
I KNOW I have a very unique profile as well.
One of the things I am amazed at is the level of toxic, misanthrope dregs of society kind of people that DO respond. I have had to call the police on several women for harrassment through disturbing and threatening phone calls all after I simply tell them, "I am not interested now please refrain from further contact".
Real class!

Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 25
Gettting no where with this site?
Posted: 8/15/2011 5:48:58 PM
Okay I looked at your profile . I 'll tell you what my opinion is,
first pictures should be you having fun but should be able to see your face full frame and some angles .
I personally dont like pics of guys with other women Idk who that is and I dont want too. makes you look like a player .
Second you have allot written in your profile. Whats left to find out during the date?
I didn't bother reading it all .
Three ,Never sound negative anything posted in your profile should not be perceived as negative because thats a downer .
I havent talk to you yet i dont wanna feel bad already.
Short sweet upbeat and look sexy it may help you get your foot in the door.
Just My opinion
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