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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 2
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
You're kidding me ... right???


He proceeded to ask me what I desire to get and after I said I want a small soda and a pretzel he shot me down and said I don't need a pretzel and didn't get it for me.


^^^^
This is demeaning!
Why would you allow someone to do this to you?

You are acting totally out of line.
Do you enjoy being treated like this?
Were you treated like this as a child that this is normal to you?

Please get yourself some counseling.
There is a reason that you allow this type of behaviour.
And whatever reason this is ... it is NOT healthy.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 3
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Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 7:31:25 PM
OP..I see a user, potential abuser.

You would be much better off without him and his condescending ways and demeanor.
You have shown grace, charm, care..and what have you gotten in return? Think about that..

Before you set yourself up for heartache, say adios to this jerk. You WILL be better off without him.

I'm sorry you are being treated like that.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 4
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 7:31:29 PM
You already knew the answer. It's a lesson learned. He'll tell you how much he likes you - I'm sure he does. It's just that his personality is the problem. It's not you, it's him.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 7
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Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 7:35:03 PM
He's either a social retard or he thinks you dig the bad boy image. Since you gave 'it' up even when he treated you rudely, I'm guessing the latter.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 9
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 7:37:59 PM
~OP~ You are a lovely young lady. You clearly have things going on for yourself (job, car, money of your own, manners, etc.) why on earth would you have any interest in someone that doesn't offer you what you have to offer? In other words? Meet someone that will threat you how you treat him. Meet someone that has a car and is willing to buy you a silly pretzel. This guy sounds like a tool. You can certainly do better.

(And yes, it's pretty clear he's unappreciative.)
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 13
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 8:48:11 PM
What a ****en ass your man is op. I can't believe you put up with this man's shit the whole entire time. His rudeness is a big indicator of what you're going to be dealing with. I feel 4 ya, Dump the douchebag.
 Peppigonzalis
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 14
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 9:24:58 PM
I agree with 'pingshooter' - he is a potential abuser.

GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN ASAP
It seems like this man FEELS no emotion but HIS OWN; and will manipulate your emotional reactions to get what he wants.

This kind of person PREYS on generous people like yourself. Please don't let yourself become a victim.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 16
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Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 10:01:48 PM
Op this guy is a male version of a gold digger and you should have kicked his butt to the curb after the first date and the pretzel incident. This is one of those life lesson moments, the guy is making you feel bad and is using you, you can make a choice to get rid of him or keep him, but just remember if you chose to allow this behaviour to continue you will only have yourself to blame for any future nastiness and it will get worse over time because you have given him the greenlight to treat you badly. Get rid of him, find a good guy to date and watch out for those warnings signs in the future so you can advoid these types of people.
 UglyFroggieCritter
Joined: 8/21/2010
Msg: 18
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/29/2011 10:59:35 PM
I can't believe that you continued to see this man (and have sex with him) when he wouldn't buy you a pretzel.

Unfrickenbelievable.
 munchkin111
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 21
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/30/2011 2:15:29 AM
The word 'user' sticks out to me in this case - it seems to me that he wants to do all the taking, but not do any giving in return. And by saying that you don't need the pretzel, well, that's just plain nasty. Trust me, sweet, you DON'T need a guy like this in your life. There are so many much nicer guys out there, and I'm sure that, in time, you'll find one.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 22
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/30/2011 3:06:00 AM
You sound like a very caring and considerate person,it's not a bad thing. I'm not sure that means you need counselling? However, yes, sometimes disingenuous people take advantage of someone with your character....chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on.
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 23
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Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/30/2011 3:12:29 AM
The way you describe the situations, sounds like the guy has no desire to part with his own money. And why should he if you continue to accommodate him and don't speak your mind to him?

If you don't say "no," then he's going to continue to hear "yes."
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 27
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/30/2011 6:34:44 AM
OP...when he said 'you dont need a pretzel' and it actually hurt your feelings, you should have said 'wow, that hurt my feelings'...and let the chips fall. At least he would have known, and maybe he would have shown you alot sooner-as in that night-just what a jerk he is.

By not saying anything you just dragged this all out.

The onus is on each of us to own our feelings and stick up for them when someone walks on them.

I was on a date once with a man I had seen a handfull of times and we were talking about blankets. I told him the blanket me grandma crocheted for me before she passed away was getting worn and it made me kinda sad...and he says just go buy another, homemade blakets are really stupid and never match your decor...I said to him that although I like new things sometimes, there are some things we want to hold on to for sentimental value...and he says thats the stupidest thing he has ever heard. I looked him in the eye and told him I didnt appreciate him speaking to me that way.

I finished watching the movie and when we got back to mine, (the car ride was very uncomfortable) he said we shouldnt see one another anymore because I made him so uncomfortable. I agreed.

I was bummed at first, because up until that evening we had been having alot of fun with one another. But...he did show me a part of himself I didnt like and this was really for the best.

Had I just sidelined that exchange and not told him I didnt appreciate it, he would likely have gone on to offend me in other ways. You give an inch and most take a mile. It is up to you to draw the boundaries of what you will and will not accept from others.

(to this day he still tries to contact me saying he made a mistake and I had every right to be offended that night blah blah blah) I long ago moved on and Im grateful I didnt invest any more time in that person.

Im just givng you advice on how to deal in future, not blaming you for how he treated you. People who take, and take and take and never give are everywhere and if he had written in telling what he did my post would be alot different. He was an azz. Just react sooner is all Im saying. You do not have to put up with someone hurting your feelings, especially early on when people are supposed to be having fun and flirting, and laughing and getting to know one another.

I used to be extremely shy and until Id say 32-33 years of age, would NEVER confront someone when they offended me. Id stew about it later, think of things I should have said...but over time I have learned that no one else is really going to look after my internal best interests, especially if I am not seen as willing to do it for myself.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 31
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 7/30/2011 9:25:00 AM

after I said I want a small soda and a pretzel he shot me down and said I don't need a pretzel and didn't get it for me. I was pretty embarassed. ... asked him out for a second date and paid for it ... we ended up having sex a few weeks later as I was really into him

LOL. You got to really wanting him more because you wanted approval/validation that you're a catch. That's why some guys can be a d!ck to a girl and be successful. People don't like being shot down and want to prove themselves as a natural reaction.

Now, to be fair, I wasn't there. He could be otherwise a fine, cool guy but his tact unknowingly is as bad as foreigner and also feels less of a guy with little money. He could have assumed at the movies you get popcorn and other food items are unnecessary and he was just referring to the type of soda. Then, after you take him out after he paid for the movies -- he assumed everything's split 50/50.... after all, you did tell him it's a 2-way street. Him not offering to pay for gas -- maybe he doesn't have much at all.

You should just bring it up to him -- tell him how you've taken things, if you REALLY do like him and not just because he's not that into you. Don't say it to go off on him, but give the benefit of the doubt that he doesn't realize what he's doing and he's an otherwise normal guy... that way an argumentative tone wouldn't be had and he wouldn't be defensive and understand. I doubt that's the situation, but hey, if he is a great guy otherwise, then it could be.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 33
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 8/1/2011 3:45:49 PM
I also was dumbfounded why the OP proceeded to STILL have sex and basically offer to be the driver of this douche WILLINGLY after the pretzel incident.

Call me old fashioned but I never can do what she did with the douche. The man should be the knight in shining armor not the other way around.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 36
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 8/3/2011 6:27:19 PM
What's the question? That post wandered so much that I'm not sure what the point was.
 BlakTieAffair
Joined: 4/9/2012
Msg: 37
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 2:02:24 PM
LoL@ social retard good one on point he definitely must be.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 38
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Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 2:23:36 PM
He has you programmed perfectly with his jerk/bad boy routine. You already validated it by sleeping with him. It won't make a difference if you hang around anymore or not because he already scored with you. I'm guessing he's probably run his game on lots of chicks. Why? It works. You're really into him and what your mind says and how your body reacts are two different things. Good luck untangling yourself from this one.
 Debyduz_
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 40
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 3:38:26 PM
You are too pretty to put up with that. You should have walked out of the movie and never talked to him again. You can do better then that picking guys from a bar.
 Drawesome32
Joined: 6/26/2012
Msg: 41
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 4:04:29 PM
you reap what you sow. the guy treats you like crap and you still date him, sleep with him, drive him back and forth to work, ect. i have the feeling you dont know what a "good guy" is. thats very sad.
 NOCLOWNING
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 42
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 4:37:38 PM
Since he doesnt have a car, guessing you drove to the movies. When he told you, you didnt need a pretzel, I would of said, Your right, but you do need a ride home. Dont date people you work with. Move on. Wish you the very best!!!
 Quasimodo11543
Joined: 7/21/2010
Msg: 43
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 4:49:44 PM
I am trying like hell not to laugh, and failing miserably.
You had sex with this guy even AFTER the pretzel thing happened? AND went out with him AGAIN?
For the love of god girl, dump him, run the other way as fast as you possibly can and NEVER admit to having slept with him. He is NOT into you no man treats a woman that way if I would have been at the theater and overheard that conversation I PERSONALLY would have bought you a pretzel.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 44
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 5:29:13 PM
You are ALLOWING this man to mistreat you.

Take the advice of the people on this thread and drop him.

Really.

Now.
 juicyfruit21
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 46
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 6:31:22 PM
OP...you are in serious need of counseling to get to the bottom of WHY you would allow someone to treat you like this....period. And then you kept going back for more....??????
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 47
Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?
Posted: 9/4/2012 6:57:13 PM
He's a dink.

End of story.


Anyone who doesnt order you a stupid lil bagel when you drive them to work everyday.......really....you dont know this?
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Am I in the wrong or is he unappreciative?