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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financ      Home login  
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I'd like everyone's opinion, but mainly this question is for any single women with kids, and single men who might date women who have kids.

Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.

Thanks in advance for your feelings and thoughts on this!
John
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 2
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 5:00:30 PM

Dear OP,
Please refrain from adding me to your favorite list every time I remove you.



You are the same age as my parents. If you try contacting me I will block you.


Your advances are very unwelcomed.




hahahahahahahahaahahhaahahahahahahhaahaha! You tell him!
 banana197
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 3
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 6:13:44 PM
I am a single mother and would NEVER expect a man to help with my expenses. I feel bad when someone pays for my drinks or meal. I make my own money and know how to handle my finances. I would find it insulting if a man wanted to help pay bills or buy my child things. Being someone's sugar daddy is just wrong.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 4
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 6:39:17 PM
Sounds like a recipe for "how to be a control freak 101."
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 5
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 7/31/2011 11:52:17 PM
Short answer... NO!!

Longer answer- if she is willing to let you pay from the get go she is:
1) A gold digger
2) An airhead
3) Irresponsible
4) Lacking in self esteem
5) Lacking in ambition
6) A poor role model for her children

I brought up my daughter alone for 10 years with not one red cent from her dad... in fact he often bludged from me When I entered a relationship after those 10 years I knew how to budget, save and earn a good living and I would have been offended if a man assumed I couldn't manage my finances. There is NO financial obligation of ANY kind in a dating relationship.

And stay away from teenagers
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 6
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 1:27:31 PM
Here's my feeling on it. Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.


Dear John,

WTF planet are you from...The mom has a financial responsibility to herself and her kids...you have a financial responsibility to take care of yourself...if you co-habit then adjust....but, jaysus chryste on a stick...forking over money to her because she shows attention is in effect making her prostitute herself and you are aiding and abetting.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 7
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/1/2011 6:06:40 PM

My young friend the incomparable and delightful, the lovely Miss Terra (Firma) is telling you in such a tactful way to piss off.
Heed her words you chemically imbalanced Casanova


37-18=19...Dude are you sure you're drug free???
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 8
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/2/2011 7:48:28 AM
Where the fvck is my tinfoil helmet????the microwaves emitting from that profile are frying my brain...

OP...isn't being asked to support a womans family...his position is that as awhite guy he should have the right to provide for his black woman....which probably adds to his thoughts of control and power...by financially placing the woman in a position of inferiority he can exert all the control and authority in a relationship....whew...the creep factor is getting pretty thick in this thread with OP hittin on certian posters.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 9
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:32:58 AM
Obligation?!?!?!

I'd have to have been dating the gentleman for a hell of a long time before I would even consider accepting financial assistance with my children.

There's a huge difference between Old Fashioned and Archaic...
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 10
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/4/2011 1:03:38 AM

Call me old fashioned, but if a man makes the decision to exclusively date a woman who has 1 or more children, he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.



i have ZERO clue how u think this is OLD fashioned, but don't you think the FATHER of those children have the moral obligation to help these women out? the MOTHER of their children..


seems to me you are terribly confused....


the ONLY women a man should feel financiallyh ""morally obligated"" to is the mother of his children and hookers, strippers, call girls, bar b1tches who screw for pay pal and gold diggers...


i mean based on YOUR rationale- a single mother should be obligated to cook for you, clean your house and wash, dry and iron your clothes

even dress you in the morning....
 lamills1969
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 11
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 Melody_11
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 12
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/19/2011 9:20:13 PM
I am a single mother of 2 and would never ask a boyfriend to pay for my children. I make my own money and manage my own bills ect.. there is no way that the person you are dating owe's you anything.
 me2kids
Joined: 1/13/2010
Msg: 13
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 8/30/2011 2:27:12 PM
i am a single mum with 2 kids and i would not expect a man to pay for them if we were dating, its not his responsibility to take care of them its mine and he owes me nothing but his time,
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 14
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 12:24:49 AM
he has a moral OBLIGATION to help provide for her and her children.
She is making a sacrifice in giving him attention while she's already busy with her kids, so, him helping her with her expenses is the LEAST he can do. I feel he OWES it to her, if he is going to make good relationship material for her.


^^
Just make dang sure she is good relationship material for him!! Dang bleepin' sure!
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 15
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:16:31 AM
How on earth did I miss this thread?


OP ... you're a few fries short of a happy meal eh?

Your profile ... my goodness ...


And now you think you're going to win a woman's heart by offering to pay for her daily living?

Well, if that's the only way you can get a woman.
Realize that you will attract what you're asking for
And then you'll be back on here wondering ...
What the Hell happened?

OP ... please come back and let us know how it's going.
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 16
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:31:15 AM
Unless you have been a single mom or possible raised by one, you should not be posting on this topic. You have no idea.
Excuse me? I can't believe that this statement is ever made in this forum let alone the frequency that I see people uttering this crap.

I know a lot of men and women that are in my age group that have chosen to not have children. I would trust their judgement a hell of a lot more on a topic involving my children than I would most people on this site with kids.

I am a single mom and I paid for my own childcare when I went out on dates. The absolute last thing I would have ever done would be to ask the gentleman to pay for something that is solely my responsibility.

Furthermore, if you can't find a friend to sit with your kids for an evening while you go out on a date, or a family member or whatever, then there's a huge problem with how you're running your life. When my children were little, I had absolutely no problem getting a friend to watch my children if I needed it... I was always available to watch theirs for an evening as well (as long as I wasn't working). It's a great barter system, some of you might look into that instead of crying that you're too broke to date.

I simply cannot imagine asking a guy for money for the sitter... to me it sits to closely with asking him to leave a few bucks on my nightstand...
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 17
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 3:38:04 PM

I know you didn't do this, but to basically call a single mom a hoar or prostitute because she may accept if a man graciously offers to help out with babysitting, well..to me those comments were just in poor taste.
I don't understand the issue. A woman that accepts financial compensation for romantic interests is selling herself. I don't care what the money is used for, she could get a pedicure with it for all I care, it's still putting a price on spending time with someone.

I'm all for the gentleman paying for the dates until it is established that there is a relationship going on... I think it's quite chivalrous. It runs along the same lines as opening my door, holding my chair and taking my hand to lead me on the dance floor. But to press a wad of cash into my hand at the end of an evening... no thanks... I can't imagine a greater insult and fortunately, in my lifetime, I've never experienced someone being so crass.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 18
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 4:00:35 PM
As I read it, Teal, you and the single mother have bills to pay, so you want it to be dutch, especially if it isn't going to be a potential relationship.
Right?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 19
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 4:27:31 PM

As I read it, Teal, you and the single mother have bills to pay, so you want it to be dutch, especially if it isn't going to be a potential relationship.
Right?
This is what I'm reading as well... if a man wants me to go dutch on a date, then it's not really a date in my opinion. It's friends getting together to go out... so don't be surprised if I invite others on this night out as well...
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 20
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 5:08:34 PM

you never offered once?


Why should he?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 21
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 6:53:44 PM

So you see going out with a guy as only a romantic in a situation he pays....so effectively you are selling yourself...and not investing in yourself and a potential relationship....partnerships suggests a two way street... the lady of the night or the one at the corner of ??? the cash goes only one way?....just like what Lint is suggesting as what she views as a date???
Nice stretch.

I have no qualms with accompanying a gentleman as his guest to dinner or a movie, etc... to accept cash in exchange for my company turns the entire situation into a business arrangement.

Nice try though...
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 22
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/11/2011 10:24:10 PM
Naadirah
Personal Choice, not an Obligation.

Another option, instead of helping with her expenses, paying her bills... maybe some thoughtful gifts or gestures that maybe she couldn't otherwise offord.



The OP's question reminds me of a STUPID statement my ex said to me when I hadn't even been dating the guy I'm with that long. ex,"Doesn't he help you pay the bills? NO! ex, Why not? " me, Because I wouldn't ask him to." ex, "Really, you mean you sleep with him for free?"

My SO only hands me over money if him and his kids have stayed at my house and he feels he should help pay for groceries or things like that. I pay my own bills and don't expect him to. He does pay for meals at restaurants and pays for my kids if they are along too. My mom babysits for us and my SO gives her money sometimes to help her out. None of this was when we first were dating though. We have been together over 2 years and have discussed if he minds paying for things. He makes considerably more than me and told me he wants to help me out.

He recently treated me and my kids and his to a stay at an expensive motel with a water park. We could of never afforded it on our own and it was a nice vacation with all of us together.
 ExploringLife2Gether
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 23
If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/16/2011 4:17:36 PM
Jojoaus said it all.
Longer answer- if she is willing to let you pay from the get go she is:
1) A gold digger
2) An airhead
3) Irresponsible
4) Lacking in self esteem
5) Lacking in ambition
6) A poor role model for her children

Thank you.
 Grnidlady1
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 24
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 9/16/2011 7:28:28 PM
John:

If a guy is only "dating" a girl with children then no, he is not finincially responsible for her kids (that is the job of the Mother and the Birth Dad). Just like he is not responsible for discipline or parenting her children. If they are living together, that is another story.
 chaty1
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 25
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If a guy is dating a girl who has kids, should he help her out financially?
Posted: 10/9/2011 9:55:39 PM
Not only should you not be giving her money but she should not be taking it. You already new this thats why you are trying to justify it. Does she want a healthy relationship or a second bank account?

I personaly would find it dificult to resist being in a young persons life with out doing all I could do to help out but dating is not the time to do this. Of course birthdays and special events should not be over looked and offering to take them all out seems to me to be healthier way to get involved.
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