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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Just can't let it go...      Home login  
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 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 2
Just can't let it go...Page 1 of 1    
I honestly don't know why you enjoy rubbing salt in the wound?
 i-like-cat-treats
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 3
Just can't let it go...
Posted: 7/31/2011 1:45:06 PM
If she still has sex with you, cuddles, flirts.. it is a relationship, even though you are removing the so-called label... Sounds like you just have some kinks to work out.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 4
Just can't let it go...
Posted: 7/31/2011 2:13:06 PM
Your Ex needs to cease giving you mixed signals, or better yet, YOU need to define your boundaries.

Focus on your work and yourself and eventually get your own place of residence.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 5
Just can't let it go...
Posted: 8/1/2011 1:52:46 AM
She said , "But it didn't work".
Respect that.

Honor your work contract. Don't make any tension between you, and just get through it.
If you don't make trouble, and just let her be, then your actions will reflect good on you, and who knows, maybe in 20 years you'll still be friends.



do I risk making a total t**t out of myself, and, when there's only a few weeks left on my contract, try winning her back,


No.



or do I just walk away from the best and brightest thing in my life?


Yes

You should become aware of an old saying, "If you love someone, set them free; if they come back they are yours, if they don't, they never were yours."

At 24, every good thing will seem to be the brightest , because understandably thats all you've ever known.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 6
Just can't let it go...
Posted: 8/1/2011 6:52:28 AM
Well, this is not a good position to be in because soon she will bring other women home and it will be hard for you to take.

You have to understand, if someone does not want to be with you then, "they are NOT the best thing in your life".

You had some great times and there is nothing to feel badly about, but it seems that it is time to move on.

Trust me, there will be even better times ahead.
 VacationGuy234
Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 10
Just can't let it go...
Posted: 8/1/2011 11:36:55 AM
Edit: my profile picture makes me look like a MAN?!?!!?


When the picture is thumb-nailed it is a little hard to tell, but it's still a good pic so I'd leave it up.

It could be that she is just playing you and she doesn't think you will be going anywhere soon. However, you really don't want to be in this position because it makes you too vulnerable.

Edit: when you are living in someone's house I don't think it is a relationship of convenience, unless the relationship started after the OP started living there.

 Basiate
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 11
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Just can't let it go...
Posted: 8/1/2011 12:51:37 PM
You are still experiencing all the same steps a relationship would have, but using a different terminology for what it is. Being that you live at her mothers home, I think it would be best to take more steps in moving out. Even if your relationship starts back up, being more independent would be a good thing. If you continue to stay there, there is a possibility you are going to be on the couch one night watching her get ready to go out with someone else? Are you prepared for that?

Definitely look into moving out when your contract is over, if not sooner, and being more independent. Its going to hurt for a while, and like someone else said, stop throwing salt in the wound. Take this time to care for yourself and reevaluate what it is you want in your life before trying to add someone in to the mix, and allow her to do the same. If its meant to be it will work itself out in the long run. Its obvious there are still feelings, or you would not still be living there and sleeping together.
 Basiate
Joined: 11/2/2010
Msg: 13
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Just can't let it go...
Posted: 8/1/2011 4:44:25 PM
Your thinking along the right track...Just work towards moving out on your own, or with a roommate, and becoming more independent. Dont worry about being in the same area that she is in. You obviously have ties there with work, so it is not a issue if you stay. I think separating yourself from the situation will help you make better decisions and gain self confidence. Mindset is everything! Time to look after yourself and the rest will follow when the time is right.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 14
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Just can't let it go...
Posted: 8/1/2011 5:32:04 PM

2) We still share the same bed (we sleep in a box room, there's just no space anywhere else - the dogs have the sofa), we still hug, flirt, touch each other and have sex.


Where is the split up part?

What does your bed partner say about all of this..adios or hang around?
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