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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > met someone on here with hiv      Home login  
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 BigSpoon80
Joined: 7/1/2011
Msg: 2
met someone on here with hivPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Yeah he should have that listed on the very first line in his BIO. If you have a seriously life threatening virus that is easily passed on during sexual intercourse or open wounds you should tell people up front. Beyond that all have to say is educate yourself and make your own choice. It's not something to take lightly.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 3
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/2/2011 4:05:03 PM
OP - While I agree with the others that you are ultimately responsible for not taking precautions (protected sex), there are some things that are punishable by law.

The knowing and wilfull transmission of a fatal/crippling disease is one of them. Keep all the facts/information you have about this guy on record. Print it out, put it in a document envelope and keep it FOREVER. You may want to consult an attorney. If you fall ill and show signs of HIV, you can sue this jerk for damages because he didn't warn you in advance.

HOWEVER - If you jump back in his bed NOW THAT YOU KNOW - you're a fool and a court will say "tough luck".

Stay away from him.
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 4
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/2/2011 5:20:54 PM
^^^&^^^ Maybe just ignore the noise and concentrate on a few posters that really give INSIGHTFUL replies

There have been reports for a long time now of people not taking HIV seriously enough any more, thinking of it as a manageable disease like diabetes.

Although I disagree with what he did, still you know very well the onus is on you to protect yourself
 gardenias2
Joined: 1/13/2011
Msg: 5
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/2/2011 5:40:20 PM
o.p. if you were unprotected get to your doctor asap. the upside is that if the sex btwn the 2 of you wasn't too wild and crazy, you chances of contracting hiv are very low. don't take my word for it though, do your research.

in the future, no quick sex. get a good feel for the person first and alway look them in the eye preferably after a drink and ask if they have herpes or hiv before you have sex. then use condoms for quite some time until you get to know them. if a guy says no condoms i say no sex. that simple. good luck!





To everyone involved - Stick to the topic and leave the off topic trolling / insults and flame baits out of postings - Period.




 Belle Requin
Joined: 2/17/2007
Msg: 6
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/2/2011 8:48:26 PM
In some jurisdictions, fraud vitiates consent for sexual intercourse. Example: if you were Cdn (I know you're not) then if he didn't tell you he had aids, and you had sex with him, you could have him criminally charged with a sexual assault. I'd speak to the police. What he does is dangerous. Clearly, he doesn't seem to think so. Call the police for the protection of other unsuspecting women.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 7
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/3/2011 8:32:11 AM
statistically, you have probably met more than one.
double wrap the monkey
get tested, have them tested
repeat often.
 Smiley_mcgee
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 9
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/4/2011 10:59:53 PM

Am i wrong to feel this way?

No.
They're your feelings.
Do you think you got the wrong ones by mistake?
I don't know if there is a department you can write to....maybe a priest? Or evolutionary psychologist?


he should have at least put it in his profile?

IMO that's more of a "he shouldn't online date, too easy to hide it, too easy to start feeling bitter about constant rejection and lie, instead find dates in person, that know him, that are familiar with him, or he tells them face to face in person."
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 10
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/5/2011 9:51:19 AM
A lot of people probably have HIV & a few other things and do not even know it. A regular STD panel does not include all STD's. You need to ask for one and it cannot be done just one time and that is it.

It should freak you out. And the sad thing is, people will lie either way. People also have sex with other people unprotected & even protected ( condoms only help prevent, they do NOT 100% prevent ) before knowing as well. It should have been disclosed before you had sex with him. I am not saying it is your fault, but if he did not answer yes or no when you originally asked yet still had safe OR unsafe sex with him.....

It is a crime in some States I believe knowingly spreading HIV. It also will cost a pretty penny to pursue anything, and you need to come up positive to sue. Save everything he told you, keep getting tested .

It is sad that adults, or anyone for that matter cannot be honest. And some people do not get tested. They assume because they are not showing symptoms of anything, they are fine. Not always the case.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 11
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/5/2011 10:24:36 AM
The fact that he stated having HIV is no big deal, and he has unprotected sex with former flames, would have been more than enough for me to cut him loose. However, with being infected with HIV, he may have just been afraid and did not want to disclose that information too soon.
 phd4socialchange
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 12
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/5/2011 11:33:07 AM


If you think this is the only person you have met, in reality or on this site with HIV, you are naive.

I probably have a differing view on this than the rest of the world, but why should they have told you they were HIV positive until they knew they wanted to pursue a relationship with you?

Why should he or she be the poster of HIV awareness?

BUT I would highly suggest you invest in some saliva HIV tests for anyone you meet off the net, or a bar (anyone you have sex with). At one point in my career I was working on the national HIV database. Part of the job was to record the way patients got HIV. One man on is interview reported that he got HIV from a women he met online, and that now he goes on online dating sites, and only tells the other person he has HIV if they ask, because no one told him he was at risk.

As for it being illegal... I highly doubt anyone has ever won that sort of lawsuit. I may be wrong, but I have heard more than a few cases where the person lost the case.
 BACKAGAINTOTRYAGAIN
Joined: 6/14/2011
Msg: 13
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/5/2011 2:22:05 PM
h e is a ahole and he should be charged .how dare he cause this on people . he a person who should be alone until he realizes that just because he has it does mean he should give it to anybody else. he is a bad man . anyone who does this to somebody is just a bad person and should die alone . you should tell people who this is so that nobody gets in to any thing with this guy its a matter of life . nobody needs this.

i dont want to ever meet this guy
i love my life
 SparksNSarcasm
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 14
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/23/2011 8:36:45 PM

As for it being illegal... I highly doubt anyone has ever won that sort of lawsuit. I may be wrong, but I have heard more than a few cases where the person lost the case.


In Canada, people with HIV go to jail if they have unprotected sex with someone without first telling them. You can be charged with sexual assault, attempted murder, and murder to name a few. Google it and you will see.

If you KNOW you have HIV, then you need to tell people before having unprotected sex with them. Once you know you have something that can kill somebody, you have an obligation to inform them and allow them to make an informed decision as to whether or not they want to have sex with you.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/23/2011 10:30:31 PM
Yes!! He should have told you before you ever came close to meeting. While no he should not have it in his profile, he should disclose it very quickly. As in the first three emails.

Now whether he has slept with other women that cared or did not care... meaningless and just him being defensive. You should care. you should be the one that cares the most!!

But I have to ask you... he let it slip and when you asked about it he would not say one way or the other and you stuck around for a whole week!?! Really? Look, lady, it's your life and your choice but if you are willing to deal with eomeone that has so little regard for you then don't be surprised when you get jacka$$es like this. you would be completely within your rights to have asked him and when he decided to clam up to have walked the f@#k out!! While you can have relatively safe sex, there is always a risk and for him to take the right to decide for yourself away is inhumane. For you to still have stuck around with a man that showed SO little regard for you... well that was just stupid.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 16
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:13:24 AM
No big deal ? Are you funking kidding me ? - Take his ass to court before he ruins other people. Since he already has a terminal disease, I say execute the fuker & end his misery.

And of course before anything - go get TESTED .. NOW!

------------------------------------------
 sportsgirl7700
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 17
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/24/2011 8:26:58 AM
Take a deep breath. Go get tested. Read up and be aware of any and all symptoms etc. DO NOT see or talk to him again.

If you do test positive, thankfully treatment is much more advanced now for people with HIV/AIDs then it used to be.

http://health.msn.com/health-topics/aids-hiv/life-expectancy-after-hiv-infection-getting-better-all-the-time

I am sorry that you have to be going through this. I wish you the best.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 18
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/24/2011 10:50:18 AM
I dont think anyone should be listing personal medical conditions on a dating public profile, and I dont think anyone needs to know this information, even upon meeting in person.

However, once it became clear that things were headed to romanceville, he should have told you so you could make an informed choice about your health and whether or not you were willing to take any risks. He should be held liable for not disclosing that to you before you slept together.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 19
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/25/2011 1:12:56 AM
I'd tell him I wish you luck; this guy is just bad news. Having unprotected sex in todays culture is beyond stupid but doing it with HIV is insane.

And if you think he told all these women that he had unprotected sex with that he had HIV and that they didnt' care, I have this big orange bridge in San Francisco that I will sell you.

He's not only a narcissist, he's downright evil in my mind. How you stay talking to him is just amazing.

Blow him off; you dont' need to explain or give a reason or know anything. BLOCK HIM. Stop the drama and move on.
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 20
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/25/2011 1:16:19 AM
Go get tested immediately and likely you'll have to retest in another 6 months - just follow what your doctor says. Next, call the police and have him arrested. It is actually a crime to not inform someone that they can pass on an STD that can kill (they will explain to you the laws in place). If what you say is true - that he likely has knowingly passed it on to others - then you need to relay that to police, and once they have some facts, you will be helping stop the spread of the deadly disease.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 21
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/25/2011 1:21:14 AM
wow I didnt' read you slept with him

DONT ERASE HIS EMAILS. HE'S COMMITTED A CRIME. A very serious one.

What he did was called Reckless Transmission of HIV. It's punishable by 2-6 years in the state pen. If it was deliberate, it's a felony 3-8 years in prison.

You have him dead to rights. Even if you are NOT infected you owe it to call your local district attorneys office and tell them what happened to you.

This is very serious. If you dont do this he will do this to others. Dont' be a victim. Make this scumbag pay.
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 24
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/26/2011 9:15:37 PM
If someone has hiv and knows it and does not tell you, he can be criminally found guilty of a crime. The type of crime depends on the illness and situation.
This is one health problem that people do not have a right to SILENCE!. There is case law to back it up.
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 25
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 8/26/2011 9:19:21 PM
Said, very well. I would like to see more laws concerning some of the lifelong sexually transmitted diseases and the notifications. If you know and have been tested and do not tell, you should be guilty of a crime. Of course the reason for not passing laws is because of the 'fear' people will not get tested and treated thereby making the problem worse.
So it is a delicate area to figure out how to make people accountable. But, Hiv and aids is a death sentence and therefore is a crime.
 highlander6996
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 27
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 9/21/2011 5:43:11 PM
He is a selfish ***hole! deff get yaself checked! good luck. he should be arested it is a big deal!!!! he is indangering not just his dates but everone they meet and go out with it could be hunderds!!! i hope you ok!
 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 28
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:07:44 PM
As he probably swings both ways, would you want him?? Also talking about the ex so soon and his personal problems would be a huge turn off for me.... having unprotected sex is a no no, no matter what or who.....anyone who doesnt is a total fool.

NO BALLOON NO PARTY

 femaleandflirty
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 29
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 9/21/2011 6:08:56 PM
It is a syndrome with some with HIV to infect others.. Absolutely reprehensible.
He should be brought to account.
 CarKam1
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 31
met someone on here with hiv
Posted: 9/22/2011 10:31:25 AM
Just a question but when something like this happens, shouldn't the owners of the dating site be notified and this man be removed? What he did was criminal and if you have actual evidence that he hid this from you then shouldn't it be made known to pof staff (and any other site he is lurking on) that there is a member that is HIV positive that is sleeping with woman and not telling them of his condition? If peoples threads get deleted because they are inappropriate shouldn't profiles be deleted because they are criminal?

This makes me nervous.

As for the op - get yourself tested and press charges would be my advise.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > met someone on here with hiv