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 dreamnexus
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 1
relationship statusPage 1 of 1    
What does it mean when a guy's profile shows that he is looking for long term but also that he wants to date but nothing serious? It just seems like a big contradiction to me. Ok, the question is revisited because I don't have enough words. If you are looking for long term, wouldn't that be a bit more than nothing serious. I realize that it takes time to get to point where you are ready for a long term realtionship, but if that is your ultimate intention wouldn't that qualify as more than also saying you are looking for something casual. This seems so wordy now, it was really just a simple question.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 2
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:06:47 AM
It probably means he wants to date and is open to long term if the right person comes along. It is too hard * on line * to sit here and make promises. Where people get all whacko on here is just because someone wants long term, it does not mean necessarily with that one person.

It is more simple to look at it as, if you meet someone and the connection is there, then maybe it will turn into long term. If not, then it was not meant to be.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 3
view profile
History
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:15:40 AM
The "wants to" category is relatively new, and it likely means he originally chose "looking for long term" when he originally set up his profile, but was forced to make an entry for "wants to" in order to reply to an e-mail, which is how the newer setting was inaugurated.

Maybe he had a change of heart about what he wants at some point after he set up his profile, or maybe he was just clueless about what he had originally chosen, or maybe he wants nothing serious at first, but does later on. Who knows?
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 4
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:21:28 AM
Thats one of those questions best asked to an individual.
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 5
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:25:11 AM
So many people view those options differently, it is best to ignore them completely and get to know the person yourself to realize what his intentions will be... towards you.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 6
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 6:03:34 AM

it is best to ignore them completely and get to know the person yourself to realize what his intentions will be... towards you.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Well put Janet.

People say they do or don't want this and that until they meet someone they do or don't want to DO IT with.

I state my intentions are not set in stone.

No ones are IMO that have a choice.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 7
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:17:34 AM
I don't know I have a few men here that contradicts what they say in their profile so I stopped talking to them. There's this guy that's says smoker in his profile and when I told him, I can't stand the smell. He said he is not a smoker. Then I told him so you are not looking for serious relationship. He said I can get serious if it's the right girl. So I'm like, you better change your profile coz your profile and what you are telling me contradicts each other. He did not change it and he still keeps messaging me occasionally. So my block button is just waiting to be pressed one of these days.

I really think what you say to the person should not contradict what you put on your profile.
 Smiley_mcgee
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 8
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:26:46 AM

What does it mean when a guy's profile shows that he is looking for long term but also that he wants to date but nothing serious?

It means you should read the rest of his profile.
Figure out if you like what he types.
Then email him and ask him about himself and (if you like what he says) if he will go on a date.
Just one date. One hour or less.
Then see if you like what he says and does in person.
And if so, you go on another date.
And keep repeating until what you don't like glaringly outweighs what you do like.


It just seems like a big contradiction to me.

A big contradiction would be if he said in his profile "I am not looking for a relationship, at all, in any way, I just want one person to settle down with."
Because he will actually have chosen to type it and say it.

What you are pointing out are drop down menu choices that he can't define just by choosing, except in his head. It's just as (or more) likely he is avoiding the next choice up (or down) than having chosen that particular option as extremely relevant.
Like a multiple choice test. If you don't like A or C then you have to put B.


If you are looking for long term, wouldn't that be a bit more than nothing serious.

Not at first.


if that is your ultimate intention wouldn't that qualify as more than also saying you are looking for something casual.

Not if I wanted to avoid women that are really on here shopping for the immediate guarantee for a commitment to guarantee committing to a long term relationship before even meeting, or marriage.


This seems so wordy now, it was really just a simple question.

That's usually why it's best to bring it up with the person that can actually answer your question rather than strangers that can only speculate and heavily qualify their answers.
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 9
view profile
History
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 9:44:08 AM
My guess is "long-term" is what he thinks women want him to say. "Nothing serious" is how he really feels.

But, hey, don't go by words in a drop-down menu. See how he sounds and acts in conversation.
 johnnyj218
Joined: 4/16/2010
Msg: 10
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 9:46:52 AM
What does it mean when a guy's profile shows that he is looking for long term but also that he wants to date but nothing serious?


Most of you women are looking for long term so it looks better if he puts this on his profile because it will show up to more women. Even though his intent differs, the chance of him getting a message increases and he can go with the flow at that point.
 nowordscandescribeme
Joined: 7/29/2011
Msg: 11
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 9:48:50 AM
From my perspective, I dont think the whole "status" thing holds much meaning.


Men and Women, were created mate, to bond, to unite, so even if you put on your profile that you're looking for friends, to date,hangout, I dont think anyone is ever opposed to Long term if they meet the right person, there is always a chance that two people who thought they wanted to just make friends end up falling deeply in love with one another and end up in marriage.

Granted there may be exceptions here, but not many people put Seeking Long term in hopes that the first person they meet they want to Jump in head over heels into a long term commitment.

That may be most of our ultimate intentions, but it always starts as dating or I would think, I wouldnt put much stock on labels, and status's it's something that gradually just manifests into itself. It's not something forced or it shouldn't be its something that inevitably just happens.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 12
view profile
History
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 11:03:50 AM
I see that when doing profile reviews. It's usually inadvertent, IE someone not paying attention. If there's info that seems to be conflicting, it's best to ask the person directly. Honestly, you cannot be looking for both of those things, so either it's a mistake or someone goofing or .......perhaps a total imbecile.

Either way, ask them directly. I also agree there's too much emphasis on this one facet, however, it is on all profile templates on every dating site I've seen. A necessary evil.......
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 13
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 12:27:27 PM
Personally, I would ignore the dating category and relationship intent. I didn't find them to mean too much. My fiancee was here for ``Talk/email,'' and although the relationship question didn't exist then, she made it pretty clear that a date might be possible, but that wasn't really what she was looking for. Lo and behold, we're engaged. You need to figure out not only what he wants, but what he wants from you. Those aren't necessarily the same things. Talking to him a little ought to help clear all of that up.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 14
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 1:19:02 PM
What does it mean when a guy's profile shows that he is looking for long term but also that he wants to date but nothing serious?


Means he is smart. This will attract more women this way. He knows everything begins with "Dating", and "Dating" is not a promise of exclusivity.
When he finds who he is looking for he will take it long term.
He is essentially covering a larger portion of the menu of women, which is a good idea.


It just seems like a big contradiction to me.
.....Its not.

If you date a guy , this is not a promise to be with just you. He is reserving the right to reject the woman at anytime if he doesn't feel she is "Long term" material.


If you are looking for long term, wouldn't that be a bit more than nothing serious.
.....No. The process of getting to "Long term" , is and can be, "Dating nothing serious". When "Serious" shows up , he will go in that direction.


looking for something casual.


To say "Casual dating" is a redundency. "Dating" is casual, and can be for some time.
 GothamCityBoy
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 15
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 3:04:48 PM
Maybe you should have asked him ?
Women often ask other women an opinion about a men's conduct, she answers her as if she knows what she's talking about. The woman then deals with the man based on her
man hating friend's advice, and ends up destoying her relationship.

If a woman ask a man the same question, he'd advise her to ask him !
 geoffonpof1
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 16
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:08:13 PM
Looking for long term but also wants to date but nothing serious?

Playing the field to see whats out there.
 808md
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 17
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 4:27:48 PM
lol...hey, that's my status.

This is my rationale: I am looking for a long term relationship. But, in the beginning, I still want my dating to be fun and not too serious. Relationships have develop over time. I stay away from "are you ready to get married" profiles. Not because I am not serious but because I am looking for something that develops slowly and organically.
 Beachgirltoo
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 18
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 5:05:36 PM
Its pretty much keeping himself open to all kinds of possibilities I think. There are so many various forms of what people want its enough to make your head spin. Dating but nothing serious to me means that you want to date casually. Throw in long term, and it means that if the person finds someone during the casual dating process that rocks his or her boat, then it's for keeps. But then again what the fuk do I know..
 dreamnexus
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 19
relationship status
Posted: 8/9/2011 7:59:02 PM
Thanks for the answers. Sorry about the question being redundant, but POF wouldn't let me even ask it unless I used what they considered enough words. I have seen it on several profiles, so it wasn't a specific person ... just curious and trying to learn the ropes.
 GooglePlusUser
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 20
relationship status
Posted: 8/10/2011 8:12:47 PM
One is a long term goal, and the other is short term. That's how I see it.
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