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 nator87
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 1
no contact rulePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I was seeing this girl for about 5 months and she broke up because, according to her, I expected sex from her too much. She argued with me a couple times over that issue until finally she dumped me. (she was a virgin when we met, maybe I put too much pressure on her) We texted a bit afterwards, but I would initiate the conversation and never her. I read that if I want to get her back I should go NO CONTACT for about a month. All I could manage was 2 weeks then I caved and asked her to dinner to catch up. She agreed and said she'd let me know when she was free. It's been almost 2 weeks and she still hasn't contacted me for a time. How much longer should I wait to try and talk to her again? I plan on asking her to lunch, not dinner next time, seems more casual.

Nate
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 2
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:18:09 PM
If you're not sexually compatible that will be a huge deal again. Why do you want to get back together?

Try no contact for yourself, rather than to manipulate her back into your arms.

Really, you need to move on and the sooner you realize this, the better off you'll be.
 808md
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 3
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:18:17 PM

How much longer should I wait to try and talk to her again?


I would say 70 to 80 years since she is obviously not into you anymore.
 nator87
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 4
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:51:47 PM
she had stomach issues when we started having less sex, said she wasn't in the mood. bullshit on her part? I called her out on not having sex like we used to and she got REALLY mad, last thing I did before she broke it off the next day. we had sex like 3 times a week and she'd do anything I asked pretty much when we first started dating. So not 100% sure it was the compatibility, maybe she genuinely had stomach issues and I was a jerk about it.
 nator87
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 5
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:53:49 PM
Or maybe she actually lost interest and used sex as an excuse lol. can you tell i'm a bit confused?
 Janet_Always
Joined: 12/7/2010
Msg: 6
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 5:54:05 PM
Whatever her reason, she obviously did not enjoy your sexual encounters as much as you did... again, you were not compatible in that way.

It doesn't need to be anyone's fault.

Sometimes it just doesn't work out as we'd hoped.
 nator87
Joined: 7/17/2011
Msg: 7
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 6:06:37 PM
Thanks guys! Cleared some things up for me.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 8
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History
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 6:09:21 PM
Contact her immediately. Why not go for being rejected all over again?

I think you should go NO CONTACT forever. She told you she'd let you know when she's free in the hopes that you would lose interest and leave her alone. As in "Don't call us, we'll call you". Move on.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 9
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 7:05:22 PM
What about "she dumped you" don't you understand?

My God, this and the other thread really makes me think that you are ubber needy or extremely daft.
Come on buddy .... leave her alone ... move on!
Next she's going to be calling the authorities for stalking.

Think!
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 10
no contact rule
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:02:13 PM
What part of " shes not interested" are you having difficulties with?
She is trying to move on, I suggest you do the same before you find that you're on the wrong end of a restraining order or " phone number not in service"

Here's a tip, if you invite a woman/ex out for dinner and she hasn't called you back in almost two weeks and counting, that means shes not interested , as in she wants nothing to do with you but was too afraid of telling you or hurting your feelings.

If she was interested she would be all over you and the situation like a fat inbred hillbilly on a possum pie and taters.
 ChillinChill
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 11
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 6:07:31 AM
It sounds like she was just a hole to you and you didn't care that she was in pain. I would dump your sorry inconsiderate a$$ too. WTF? Perhaps you should stop thinking with your cawk.. maybe you will have better luck next time.
 LinuxD
Joined: 12/6/2008
Msg: 12
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History
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:12:14 AM
So you tried using no contact to get her back.. been reading PUA websites eh? it's games..
No contact means just that. Shut the door and walk away. For good. it's over. done. finished.

It's not a method to try to win them back or hope they will see the error of their ways. It's to allow you to get your heart and head right and continue on with your life.

Do her and yourself a favor and bless her with your non presence which is what she really wants. :)
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 13
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History
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:28:37 AM
Do you realize how many other girls there are out there? Why obsess over the one with a 'sex' issue at your age? You've got the rest of your life to take cold showers, you should be enjoying yourself now.
Let her find somone that is ok just holding hands.
 ChrisD1957
Joined: 12/20/2010
Msg: 14
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 9:28:08 AM
So you dont contact her for two weeks(and obviously she didnt contact you) after 2 weeks you ask her to dinner, she agrees but says she will get back to you with a day and time and then nothing. Little slow on the uptake here arent you?
 magicallaroundme
Joined: 3/9/2011
Msg: 15
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 2:36:15 PM
For once I am not going to kick either you or her. It sometimes happens that people make an inadvertent mistake that cannot ever be corrected no matter how earnest and no matter how much effort is applied.

There is nothing you can do. Yet you will try. (I am nearly certain of it.) Two weeks was all you could manage because you are addicted to her. There is no telling how long the withdrawal will be even going completely cold turkey.

Be warned. She will get you to slither into doings that you will find hard to live with later...like any addict. You can't ever count on being free of her but you can set your divided focus to someone else as an "I'll show her!" kind of thing.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 16
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 3:24:14 PM
1. Only date virgins. Help her get rid of it, and them move on. Don't try to keep seeing them.
2. Leave her alone and move on.
3. If you wussify yourself, you're a wussy and as far as she is concerned, always will be. you lose.
4. And thats another reason why its a terrible idea to marry a virgin.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 17
no contact rule
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:51:39 PM
I think you should start calling her at least once a week, asking her to hook up again and telling her you really need sex more often. Then when she files the restraining order to stop you from any contact with her, call her for good measure - you could get free room and board and 3 meals a day out of it.

Or, you could accept that its over and move on to someone who maybe actually wants you, enjoys being with you, and that you are more compatible with.

Me, I'd choose the latter option and go back to "no contact" for a long, long, long time. And when you feel its long enough, no - it hasn't been.
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 18
no contact rule
Posted: 8/13/2011 9:14:06 AM
the OP re-confirms the many existing stereotypes about selfish, egotistical, juvenile UWO frat-boy types..
 luckyroses77
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 19
no contact rule
Posted: 8/19/2011 12:07:17 AM
HI I'm sorry to tell you this, but this girl is playing you. Dont let her play you anymore. Whatever the reason, which I tend to think is more a problem on her part than yours, she doesnt want to be with you. I've been through heartbreak myself, so I know it really hurts when someone you love, doesnt love you back. But that doesnt make you the bad person. Rather than force something to happen with someone who isnt being honest, but playing games with you, it would be better for you to find someone else. Work on fiinding someone who does want to be with you and share your company. No matter how much you love someone, you cant make them love you. I know it hurts really bad. But at least you didnt marry her, and then have her ditch you. She is really immature to be playing games with you and is not ready to commit. You're wanting someone to be committed with. The next time you find a girl you really have feelings for, make sure she wants to be committed, too. If she tries to change the subject or says she's not sure, dont waste your time and your life. Move on to someone else who is mature enough to be committed to you.
 87Mippy
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 20
no contact rule
Posted: 8/19/2011 2:33:48 AM
if she doesnt want sex, she doesnt want sex...you shouldnt bother even have brought it up!
Boy you have much to learn about a virgin girl...they are not all out there to lose there virginity to some guy that she has met online!
Try actually talking to her...if she replies one to two words then she really isnt into you and wanted it to end from the get go, but was too scared to tell your...or didnt know how to go about it.

Find someone who fits more your style, aka a sexual partner! Dont go after someone who doesnt want the same goal of sex, if she is a virgin and has stated her ideas on sex.
If she has said yes before, once, then it just means she isnt sure of what she wants...
just find another fish...when you feel ready, but stop stalking her!
 FreeZe5K
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 21
no contact rule
Posted: 8/19/2011 9:56:29 AM
The silent treatment is not a punishment, it's a reward.
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 22
no contact rule
Posted: 8/21/2011 6:22:34 PM
Go read Carolina0308 (message 15) again, and again, and again. Great advice. Simple, and great advice.
I might add too that she (the woman in question) isn't into you. Let her meet a guy that she is really into and you'll see how flexible in the sexual stuff she becomes. Move on .
She has not contacted you. It's not because she's forgotten about you, but it is because she's trying to forget about you. Sorry.
 RenaissanceManSTL
Joined: 5/22/2011
Msg: 23
no contact rule
Posted: 8/21/2011 10:41:00 PM
My man.... you are 24. You have your entire life ahead of you. She is not interested. And I highly doubt you or most guys your age have control over your sexual impulses. I sure didn't. If she was interested, you would know. And if you are so head over heels for her, why are you on here?
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 24
no contact rule
Posted: 8/25/2011 1:06:04 AM
lol; nate; you want to eventually get her for sex. she doesn't want to have sex. It's not going to happen.

I would move on. If you really care about her then talk about what she wants and talk about sex.

Again, communication is the key.
 whoy210
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 25
no contact rule
Posted: 8/25/2011 5:46:21 AM
no contact indeed. get her out of your head, let it go, they rarely ever look back, it's always on to the next one with most females.
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