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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Men...how do women win you back?      Home login  
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 julesann1969
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 1
Men...how do women win you back?Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Attention Men: I am asking this for a few people...we want your advice. How does a women win you back for the second, or third time? The man originally told the woman that he needed time, then three months later came back to her with a few calls in between. They dated for another 2 to 3 months and he thought he needed more time again. What is the best way a woman can win him back for good?
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 2
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 9:29:21 PM
Im NOT a guy................but *I* would take the hint and move the hell on.

The World's full of men.

Find one that actually wants to be with you
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 3
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 9:30:20 PM
You can't 'win' a man back, over, or upside down. He either wants you or he doesn't...kinda works the same way for us girls too.
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 4
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 9:42:49 PM
I have to agree you have to put an effort into a relationship but trying too hard does not work and typically make the other person want to run. He either wants to be with you or he doesn't - when someone has moved far enough down the road to moving on they rarely come back to stay.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 5
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 9:44:06 PM

How does a women win you back for the second, or third time? The man originally told the woman that he needed time, then three months later came back to her with a few calls in between

So this guy is a yo-yo? (is his last name Ma? )

Actually he seems to be playing by his rules.. He goes away and plays with another a few months, then switches back to you when THAT ends..
IF you are ok with that, just keep on doing whatever he wants, and he will keep on doing whatever he wants also..
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 6
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 9:52:27 PM
First thing is I would boot his lying ass to the curb and delete his contact info.
Any guy that tells you he needs time and then calls you back 3 months later and dates for 2 to 3 months isn't interested in you as a girlfriend and only wants a booty call.

Needing time means, I want to keep you on the back burner until something else better comes along .

Every guy is different. I know if I wasn't interested in the woman , there is nothing she can do to make me give her a second or third chance.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 7
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:11:33 PM
He is not won back by the women; he is won back by the prospect of having a relationship with her – one that fulfills his needs.

He needs time away to fulfil other needs. Maybe to meet other women, maybe to take care of other things in his life. Maybe to see if the woman will change, maybe to allow time for differences between them to be resolved. Maybe he just needs time to make up his mind. Or to miss her.

The second time he needs more time away, she could ask him why. Does he hope that more time apart will improve their chance for a successful relationship? Or enable him to make a clear decision?

Or is it in the nature of the relationship itself or of the man himself, that after two or three months, he just needs some time away, some space to himself and nothing would change that or needs to change. Not a bad way to go if you’re both happy.

A little unconventional I suppose if you’re conditioned to expect 24/7 full-on commited relationships or nothing. But not everybody wants or needs that model. And not everybody who doesn’t want it is immoral, unsteady, selfish, crazy, etc. They just don’t want it.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 8
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:16:23 PM
This is a guy who likes to make curtain calls after the show is over. The woman might want to back off a little and give him some space the first time he disappears behind the curtains.

After the third time, however, his performance would be getting a bit stale, and I'd advise her to leave the theater.
 WalksOnWater2
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 9
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:18:04 PM
Why would you want back a man you dumped you, or you dumped?
There have to be reasons for the dumping, and it will only be a repeat of the ordeal.

A man who likes you , will like you ALL the time, from now until he's dead plus a day,
and will not need to take a few months off now and then to recover from you.
This doesn't seem to be the case.
Move on. I would.

 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 10
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 10:25:03 PM

What is the best way a woman can win him back for good?
You can't because he really has no long term interest in you and he never will. You are nothing but a warm blanket on a cold night to him, he keeps you around for when it gets a little chilly, nothing more.
 AintNoDeal
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 11
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 11:00:36 PM
Simple...Stop The Crazy.

- when you act desperate
- when you make 100 promises to change
- when you make 100 excuses for how you behaved before
- when you explode about Every Little Thing and Every Big Thing
- when you can't discuss, you can only blame
- when you stopped listening
- when you only have demands and no longer give
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 12
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 11:47:00 PM
Omg,Halcyon......that is HILARIOUS and i so agree.....

I hope Op comes back to this Thread and tells us her thoughts
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 13
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/11/2011 11:59:38 PM

He is not won back by the women; he is won back by the prospect of having a relationship with her – one that fulfills his needs.

He needs time away to fulfil other needs. Maybe to meet other women, maybe to take care of other things in his life. Maybe to see if the woman will change, maybe to allow time for differences between them to be resolved. Maybe he just needs time to make up his mind. Or to miss her.

The second time he needs more time away, she could ask him why. Does he hope that more time apart will improve their chance for a successful relationship? Or enable him to make a clear decision?

Or is it in the nature of the relationship itself or of the man himself, that after two or three months, he just needs some time away, some space to himself and nothing would change that or needs to change. Not a bad way to go if you’re both happy.

A little unconventional I suppose if you’re conditioned to expect 24/7 full-on commited relationships or nothing. But not everybody wants or needs that model. And not everybody who doesn’t want it is immoral, unsteady, selfish, crazy, etc. They just don’t want it.


I don't buy it...I can see someone taking a time out to get their head straight and see what direction if any, they want to go with the relationship. But bouncing around while she pines away for you, calling it off and on is more than unconventional in my opinion...lest we forget it's not only about 'his' feelings.

Regardless, I have no desire to 'win' a man back....if the relationship isn't fullfilling his needs in the first 2 or 3 months, it isn't going to after a time out or two, and I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who I had to convince to be with me...
 Write Time
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 14
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Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 1:59:26 AM
Let's take a step back and ask another, more important question: Why would anyone *want* back someone who cannot decide whether they even want to be in a relationship?

That kind of wishy-washiness can be devastating on all levels. Get fooled by it once, shame on the partner. But then to openly go back for more? Shame on you-know-who.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 15
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 3:26:55 AM

Attention Men: I am asking this for a few people...we want your advice. How does a women win you back for the second, or third time? What is the best way a woman can win him back for good?



I don't know about other man, but the two and three times thing is too many "times".
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 16
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Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 3:57:22 AM
Just remember, it takes two to have a relationship.

You can give all the effort you have, but if there is nothing coming back to you..it is wasted.
I believe, in your example, the woman is trying to "win" back something that is not able to be won.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 5:06:42 AM
People don't actually "win" each other to begin with. That's a horrible misnomer that got started a long time ago, and SHOULD be relegated to the dustbins of time, because it insists that people are OBJECTS, not living beings.

So you don't "win" someone to begin with, they either CHOOSE to be with you or they don't. If they leave, they leave for a reason, and if that reason doesn't change, then even if they DO stop by again, they will not stay.

For both you, and for the friends you hope to advise, I would suggest you tell them to take the fantasy sunglasses off, and start learning to look directly at the real world. You are living in a "princess in a palace, prince to be won" fantasyland right now. Even though many of our deluded story writers still pay homage to this fantasy, and sell you stories of "hearts to be won," and "love to be earned," it's ALWAYS been a false description of the way reality works.
 Pinayto
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 18
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:12:04 AM
I don't know, i don't like those types of guys. I'm the type who don't look back. When the guy said it's over, it's over. Actually guys that do that are not man enough for me. We can be friends, sure, why not. Especially if I already got over what happened. But no matter what he says, there will be no more intimacy between us.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 19
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Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:13:36 AM
What exactly do you win? A non commital man that goes in and out of your life like a stary cat?
Consider this: He has 2-3 other female friends that he also needs time away from on occasion.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 20
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 7:20:59 AM
winning back your partner for the 2nd and 3rd times belies an extremely dysfunctional relationship. "rinse and repeat" behavior is prima facie neurotic. so i'd say before any real winning can happen, somebody needs to get some therapy.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 21
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Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 8:06:29 AM
In the only instance in my past, all it took was a phone call. There was a woman I dated once or twice, nothing came of it, but the following year she called me to get together again, and we had four dates in a three-week period (which for me is one of my top relationships).

In that case it was sort of an anti-booty call. When we got together again she told me that she wasn't interested in sex before marriage, and I was okay with that. So I assume that guys she'd dated after me were too sexually aggressive, and she called me again because I hadn't been like that.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 22
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/12/2011 5:56:20 PM
time to think means time to think alone
if I am back from deployment and camping and you have changed your mind, then all the better we have already both moved on.
time isnt always about getting another, sometimes it is about getting away from you .
 go_geo_go
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 23
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/13/2011 8:55:03 PM
I've found the way to win someone back... is their own moment of weakness. Nothing you can do really. Just when they're weak they'll want someone to fall back on.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 24
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/14/2011 12:05:39 AM
Wow...sad story...hopefully you will recover from this preposterous and most nefarious man....and you are far from alone now...God speed woman

I re-iterate....you cannot win a man....period...or back. Go ahead and use all your girly whiles and or whatever God gave ya....but that ain t gonna make him want you unless he does...don t care what y all say In my opinion, if you have to convince a man he wants ya...well then, he really doesn t...and thats probably the least of your worries...
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 25
Men...how do women win you back?
Posted: 8/14/2011 1:48:42 AM

How does a women win you back for the second, or third time?


She wouldn't be able to. ..If something happened , that it was so severe, as to cause a breakup, why would he take her back anyway.

Since "Respect" is earned, it can also be spent/lost. Depending on what the issue was for the breakup, if he takes the woman back, she loses some or all respect for him. If he earned any at all. She now knows she can walk all over the guy. Especially if he takes her back a third time.


The man originally told the woman that he needed time, then three months later came back to her with a few calls in between.


This sounds more like the man, attempting to win the woman back.
Time to do what? Fix a business?
If its about "Dating" he doesn't need to ask for time. He just dates other women.


They dated for another 2 to 3 months and he thought he needed more time again.
.....Again, time for what? If he is dating the woman, he is not obligated to see her every week.


What is the best way a woman can win him back for good?


For this situation, 2 months on 3 months off; Not going to happen.
Not enough chemistry between them. Maybe her expectations are too great. Maybe she is trying to push her life-agenda on him and he doesn't like it.
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