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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationshi      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 10
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
So, you're advocating bait and switch? Say they want a relationship, and bail once they've achieved their real goal? I'm sure many do, but some men have some integrity and prefer to be honest up-front.
 butterflie_1207
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 11
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/20/2011 10:40:04 AM
^^^ Which is exactly what so many women complain about...

I'd much rather know the guy is only looking for sex upfront so I wouldn't waste my time with him.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/20/2011 2:38:14 PM
There's room for a books worth of in depth analysis about why you had the experience you did with your brief experiment on the "dark side."

Among the most obvious, is that they can say anything they want, including using long-practiced pick-up lines on you (which you apparently just ate up like the empty calories they were), knowing full well that you would NEVER get around to calling on them to carry out the dramatic promises they made to you.

This makes them genuinely more confident, which will naturally tend to impress you more (confidence always does), even though their confidence does NOT stem from knowing where they are going in life with you, but just the opposite.

How the hell do you think that "players" get so much "action" anyway? They come across as strong, forthright, brave, confident, and romantic, precisely BECAUSE they don't give a crap what happens to you twenty minutes later. It's why serial killers get so many people to walk open eyed into their traps.

I give this all a big "DUH!"
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 19
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/20/2011 6:27:31 PM
I think you don't understand your own experiment!!

Men that just want sex......would rather message women that just want sex.....
then jump through all the hoops alot of women that want a relationship put them through!

Why would anyone that just wants sex......get involved with a relationship......just to get sex?!! They can say they want one to get the sex.....but to actually get into one......
Nah.......not gonna happen!!

You have either way over thought this......or haven't thought enough!!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 21
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/20/2011 9:07:19 PM

So I keep my time and individuality, and trade in a bit of money from time to time, for either pornography or an escort

How does your American woman feel about that?!


Men have to give up something (time, money, independence) in order to get something else (sex).


Ya know......there are some of us women that feel the exact same way!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 25
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/21/2011 7:07:39 PM

Yeah, except in reverse. Those women don't possess the virtue of independence, so they use sex to avoid having to work hard and earn their survival.

Or if they already have money, they try to use men to give them a sense of purpose and self esteem, by trading sex for the man's attention and worship.


Bitter much?

So we either trade sex to get our bills paid or for a man's attention and worship, eh?

What happens when a woman doesn't fall into any of those categories?
Are we just sluts?
 alcwkat
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 26
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/21/2011 7:21:12 PM
Happens all the time. Checked the divorce rate lately?
 Dare to
Joined: 2/11/2009
Msg: 27
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/21/2011 11:14:18 PM

Or if they already have money, they try to use men to give them a sense of purpose and self esteem, by trading sex for the man's attention and worship.
Are you serious? What about the millions of women out there who don't feel the need to "trade" sex for anything?? You know.. The ones like sex for the pleasure it brings, not for what they can get from "doing it"? Did it occur to you that there are plenty of women who have plenty of self esteem of their own who don't need men to "give them a sense of purpose and self esteem" and don't need to trade sex for attention???

You are painting with a very broad brush making statements like that..
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 30
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/22/2011 10:13:56 PM
This makes me wonder is it worthwhile for men to message women for sex even if they have got intimate encounter on their profile as their chances will probably only be one in several hundred for a lot of men doing this.

"Pound for pound", you make a good point. But here's the kicker -- guys (and girls) have higher standards when they're looking for a relationship with someone. When one sees "Long Term" (and their profile doesn't question that selection), they're going to be more picky. That's why you see more email. But many of them would not even think of a relationship -- you're asking for something else, and more simpler, and less drama free than that.

A relationship isn't worth it with many, if all you want to do is have something sexual with no strings attached... or even not entirely centered around sex with no strings attached.

I also noticed that the men who messaged me for sex put in far more effort with their messages than the ones looking for a relationship.

Because they realize there's more competition.

I can't help thinking if the guys looking for a relationship put in as much effort rather than just sending a hi how r u message they would easily get a girlfriend and some sex!

Again, with many women, they would want sex, but not HER being the girlfriend. Many guys are very open to a relationship with the right woman, but are -separately- open to a fling with a woman who wouldn't be right for a relationship or isn't attractive enough.
 ClaireChristine
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 31
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/22/2011 10:39:24 PM
Yes saying that you need to go into a committed relationship in order to get sex is just not right.... Men worth their salt can get sex with some effort and from what I hear plenty of women give it away on first date.....Men notoriously can have sex with women anytime it is available to them....they dont have to be even very attractive. Just the male drive I guess.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 34
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/23/2011 3:04:07 AM
Well hells bells OP....at least now you know what we think of your cooking and house keeping.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 46
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 8/26/2011 8:05:43 PM
This is an over-generalization, but true enough in most cases: when it comes to romance, a man's primary motivation is sex while a woman's primary motivation is security. Love enters into it on both sides, but as a secondary motivation.

As for men putting more thought and effort into their communications when you said you were looking for an intimate encounter, I can think of a few of possible reasons. They could decide they can be more honest about their own interests, and don't have to be careful about just what they say. Maybe they see the potential intimate encounter as an opportunity they can't afford to miss, so they try harder to get you to choose them instead of someone else. Perhaps they feel they can be more open with you, since they know the two of you have something in common that's important to them. They may be testing you to see if you're for real, or just trolling for responses. Finally, it's possible that they want to get to know you better because, either consciously or subconsciously, they want some sort of emotional connection with you.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 50
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:24:15 AM
OP, so recently i put intimate encounter up instead of dating for 48 hrs out of curiousity...yes, got many emails...

99% were not making the slightest bit of effort. Most of the profiles had bad pics or NO PICS, poorly written text...the emails were just as bad. However the 1% that were good could have taught the other 99% a lesson...it was like they were from another planet (a good one) nice, clear pics, well written text. Email that was not copy & paste or 2 or 3 trite words. Emails that were commenting on my profile, polite, not vulgar, trying to put me @ ease. One even had the wherewithall to send a free gift/picture of flowers...I wrote him back to thank him.He was very, very respectful.

Some were hysterically funny, but unintentionally so. One pic was of a man holding up a naked babydoll & he had a toddler cropped off of his lap (you could see some of the tot) another was a man who...looked like the late John Candy, wearing an Uncle Sam Hat-red, white & blue, waving a flag @ a 4th of July BBQ...have to see the pic to get the full effect...another one had a pimp pic...he wrote: "I'm hung like a horse and know how to use it." but the award had to go to an 86 yr old who looked like "Grandpa" from the Muensters. I have to say, he had a wonderfully written ad & I replied to his email.

Do you think when these men were writing, that any other than the handful who made an effort, had even the faintest glimmer of hope that they were gonna get to a meet??? I suspected most of them were just getting off being juvenile & were happy to stay home alone & troll on the internet...

I think many men are used to having a woman make them jump thru hoops to get sex, so when they see a woman out there who does not, they do not know how to handle it. I think there are also some people who are sex addicts & are experts at getting sex all the time, everywhere, they know all the angles & seem to recognize eachother...some of them get off on lying, manipulating & targeting someone who is much more naive than them, while others prefer another more "knowing" person...

The amount of time, effort & drama involved just to get an hour or two of booty call is no longer worth it for me, whether it would be a relationship or just straight up FWB. I think alot of women have times when they just want sex, but have been socialized to be a "nice girl" who can only get off in a relationship. To each his own!
 anais987
Joined: 12/14/2010
Msg: 54
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 2/1/2012 7:18:15 PM
I can share with you some of my real experience not experimental one. I used to have a regular dating profile here until I realized that they can take me out 1, 2, 3...times but the buttom line they just need sex. A lot of things I actually heard from guys I've met here:
1. All men here are looking to get laid regadless of their profiles. It's almost the only one free dating website. A lot of them have two profiles: one is a nice one for the relationships and another one for sex. Is it easier for a guy to get sex if he is using relationships profile? Maybe not easier, but he has the way more variety to choose from. Check how many women admitted here they are looking for sex? very very very few. Men simply don't have much choice, they HAVE to play their games to get laid.
2. You will get the way more emails with intimate incounter profile, that's a fact. Will they be bigger and better? From my experience: no. They are pretty much: let's get together tonight. The reason: they want a quick fix. Usually guys who are new to the site and not writing to every woman on here are writing a bigger nicer emails. If you get short meaningless message he is just fishing for whoever will respond.
I see the benefit of having intimate incounter profile: everybody shows true colors! "Quality" guys like you mentioned turn into real jerks sometimes, but the guy who is really into you will treat you regardless of what you are looking for. Good luck!
 HowRJ
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 58
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 2/28/2012 9:44:13 AM
"Women can fake orgasms.....men can fake entire relationships".........
 russell5417
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 60
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 2/28/2012 11:39:50 AM
I may be showing my chronological age by saying this here, but I will say it anyways.

I AM only willing to date someone that I can see myself in a long term relationship with if things were to start heading in that direction.

I LOVE sex..........I guess you could say that I too am looking for great sex in a sense, but only with the right person for me. I do not need to be wasting anybody's time playing games........especially mine.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 62
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 2/28/2012 2:34:16 PM
Hell..I want both..relationship, AND sex!
 Kohmelo
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 67
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 2/28/2012 4:21:24 PM
This may have been touched on already and I'm not reading all 3 pages, but I'd love to hear why the OP cares what the man's profession is if she's only having sex with him.
I mean, if he's a sexologist or or famous... then that makes sense, but since it's just good old penis and vagina then appearance and skills should be the primary decision making factors... not what the guy does to collect money that you will never get your hands on.
Am I wrong here?
 catlady333
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 70
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:05:43 AM
we women should sue walt disney,for making us believe that 'true love' is real. seriously,maybe it is ,but only Christian men are serious about love,and for alot of women who arent willing to wear potato bags as dresses and be submissive , thats just not an option. crap,dont get me wrong,being Christian isnt a bad thing if u have a man who knows women are just as valuable in Gods eyes as men..but most men are on a power trip. anyway...men are pretty much obsolete now. the world is overpopulated,we can make our own money,and toyz are WAY safer than the real deal...im off this site,dont need the stress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!be careful,ladies..remember,ur worth is far greater than rubies
 An a19
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 79
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 3/3/2012 8:37:18 PM
I just had a doctor mind you and said he would like to just have sex with me, no dating just sex.. Who would say that?? that is a real turn off to me.. really is.. I said byeeeeeeeeee
 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 81
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 5/24/2012 12:10:50 PM
This is hilarious! While most guys dream of the day when a woman would "play" him just to get sex, this guy here is complaining!
 justlookingvt
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 84
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 9/12/2012 11:39:47 AM


Once I ve changed my profile to intimate encounter as well,and I got many messages constantly even I ve not sign up for few days,while when my profile was and is "longterm",none message at all ...


It looks like the ideal setting for a woman in this site would be seeking "Long Term Intimate Encounter" :-)
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 85
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 9/12/2012 11:43:08 AM
lmao...^^^^What an innovative idea Lookin! perhaps we should request that category from Admin!
 WHAWEEWEE
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 86
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Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 1/15/2013 11:25:15 AM
Some People Men and Women,sometimes just don't want/don't have the time/can't afford a Relationship,
but at the same time they are humans and their bodies and minds call fort the company and the sex of he opposite sex. i don't know why is it that people look at grown people whom have made a mature decision to just be looking for a sex friend as if they were freaks,
I also think that it could be hypocrisy of those whom are desperate for a relationship, always saying something to will make people who want to spend time with the apposite sex but don't want a relationship as people who are confuse,
and i can see that here, where you are telling grown people whom clearly made up their minds not to be in a relationship that they should go for one, and I know that you're are saying that it will give them a bigger chance for Sex.
again to Me that sounds like You saying in an indirect kinda way, that they are wrong and don't know that they need to be looking for a relationship and not an intimate encounter ...
 megen65
Joined: 9/10/2012
Msg: 90
Men who just want sex will get sex easier by trying for a relationship!
Posted: 1/17/2013 5:12:43 PM
I have yet to find one.sorry if that sounds like I'm bitter.
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