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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.      Home login  
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 Seakytten
Joined: 10/2/2010
Msg: 1
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I see couples and single people struggling day by day with the drama of trying to make things work with other people.

I want no part of any of it anymore. I live comfortably with 6 cats, 45 fish and go on the forums periodically to check out the drama of he said/she said/he did this/she said that and I just retreat back into my shell like a turtle (with a little smirk) and am as happy as a clam just being alone with me.

I've not given up. I just haven't given in. Anyone else feel that they are sooo happy to not be in the 'drama zone' anymore?

Kytten
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 2
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 12:01:00 PM
Denile is not a river in ....oh, never mind


back to your pets Ms. Kytten
 Doremi_Fasolatido
Joined: 2/14/2009
Msg: 3
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 12:29:14 PM
According to your profile you're not single/ not looking. Hey, if you and your partner are happy then I say more power to you.

If it's just you then that's cool too. It is nice to have friends to talk to too. I've been single a while myself but am not withdrawn at all. I guess I am "comfortable".

That can be a good and bad thing though...
 Paddy_o_Lantern
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 4
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 12:41:34 PM
If this is your new philosophy I suggest you read" FVCK YES!: A guide to the happy acceptance of everything" - by the honorable Reverand Wing F. Fing ( Tom Robbins writing under an alias ) as an affirmation or an addendum of your beliefs.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 5
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 12:43:16 PM
To be out of the drama ... yup!

Sometimes I see my married friends struggle.
But I think that is just part of any relationship.

I like myself ... and enjoy my own company.
However, I would like someone there sometime.
To enjoy the good times.
To share special moments.

When the time is right ... he'll show up.
 nipoleon
Joined: 12/27/2005
Msg: 6
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 1:17:40 PM
The secret is not detachment from others. Detachment is no better than dependence when taken too far.
But, it is necessary to see others in a realistic light.

Our biggest problem is that we expect others to be what we want them to be. Then, we are disappointed when they are not that.

Like a bad gambler, we fall in love with a particular horse and keep betting on it no matter how much it loses.

It's not detachment we need, it's objectivity.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 7
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 2:07:47 PM
Like a bad gambler, we fall in love with a particular horse and keep betting on it no matter how much it loses. It's not detachment we need, it's objectivity

More like acceptance of the world and all the people in it as being imperfect, but still OK to be human with all our imperfections.. We are not the magic genie that could give all people three wishes to correct all their flaws,
as much as we may wish to see ourselves in that role.. World savior or Mary Poppins fictional image of perfection..

The "I'm OK- You're OK" Thomas Harris basic outlook/philosophy works best to keep us balanced..
There is also his "Staying OK" resolutions for actions that can help us stay balanced..

Helping others when we can is still the BEST way to gain some of that inner peace and good feelings many of us crave more of..
Accepting OURSELVES as imperfect but still OK to be human and enjoy life anyway.. THAT level of maturity may elude some indefinitely..
Well-balanced social attachments add stimulation/intrigue to our sometimes mundane feeling lives.. and since we ARE social animals, that can provide the necessary enjoyable feedback/support to prevent us from prematurely "going GENTLE into that good night"... D. Thomas

Getting out and exercising is a big way to gain those temporary endorphins when you feel down, going with a group may just possibly gain you some new friends in the bargain... S
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 8
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 2:37:16 PM

Anyone else feel that they are sooo happy to not be in the 'drama zone' anymore?


I do. I do.

My ex-boyfriend brought a whole lot of drama into my life. His kids had a lot of problems.

I hope after some time to mentally recover my peace...I'll be ready for another relationship. Until then...I am quite content living in paradise by myself.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 9
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 2:54:23 PM
Gee. Everyone? Do I HAVE to detach myself from EVERYONE in order to be happy? I guess since I'm not a cat lady, I shall remain miserable. Wah, wah, wah...
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 10
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 3:38:01 PM
I think that "detatching" from "everyone" is a little over the top; but....I know I certainly enjoy my relatively drama free life. (After 25 yrs of marriage and then a 7+ year relationship just to prove that I'm really not cut out for "long term relationships" LOL!

I have to pass on the substitute 6 cats though. After my last "relationship" I decided that maybe I needed to give myself 1 full year off dating to try to figure out why I always seemed to be attracted to men that I'd eventually dislike intensely. 6 months into that plan....my daughter died, and I was pretty much a basket case for the next year/ year and 1/2...but when I decided to give it another go (dating), I found that living alone really does have it's nice points. LOL! well....I don't really live alone as I ended up raising 2 young grandchildren...but.....that's NOT the same "drama" as you have in "relationships".

I'm curious about your remark
I've not given up. I just haven't given in.
however. That would seem to indicate that you're not really as happy as you state. ALL relationships come with a certain amount of drama..... and an obsessive need for NO drama could be in and of itself..... drama!

More and more though these days...people are figuring out that singles can have a very full and rewarding life even without being part of a "couple". I don't call that either giving up or giving in......I just call it learning to be comfortable with oneself....AS LONG AS it's truly a personal preference....and not a reactionary move to avoid facing some of life's normal conflicts....or a statement like....."I'm going out in the garden to eat some worms".
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 11
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 4:33:13 PM

I've not given up. I just haven't given in. Anyone else feel that they are sooo happy to not be in the 'drama zone' anymore?


I don't remember how many different ways I've expressed this...but yes...definitely.

I don't retreat inside of a shell...I am actually hugely social. I love to interact with interesting people...outside of the "zone". I'll have to say that evidence of high forms of drama is probably number one on my "to (not) do" list.

The forums are a great place to "stay strong".
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 12
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 5:08:57 PM
Me

And yeah, you are going to get those who have never gotten to this point who think you are lying or in denial. I remember thinking that about others. But it's kind of odd at first, when you hit the point where you are glad not to be hunting or involved and pretending to be happy when you could just grind your teeth to nubs. I've met so very few happily married/living together people and it was refreshing to no longer even want that much less accept a so-so or lousy relationship.

I don't envy those who do have what I find to be a good relationship but I do appreciate what they have and it's nice to know that they do exist, but for the most part, I'm so fricking glad not be in the majority of the relationships I see. I'm quite happy with my own company, and one can always go out on dates if they so choose, it's not like we are locked up and crazy. But I only have one cat and she's really my daughter and son-in-law's. I don't know how many fish there are, most of them are guppies and they breed then eat each other so quickly it's hard to keep track.
 KittenCatt
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 13
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 5:40:16 PM
I'm going thru something very similar to what OP is describing. Of course, I don't mean staying in the house day after day - I still want to do everything and anything social, even with the opposite sex. Yet I just have no desire for anything to do with relationships or commitment right now....I'm the last person anyone who knows me would think would feel this way. I always wondered if this day would come, even tho I couldn't imagine it.

I like it...it's very safe, comforting, nice, nurturing.....and relieving too.
 Coyotefeller
Joined: 8/1/2005
Msg: 14
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 7:23:10 PM
"I'm going out in the garden to eat some worms".
...So that's what some of my exes were mumbling
when they went out to sulk in the yard ! :)
OP is just a sexy young chick yet.....I think this is
just an excuse to mess around a bit......like when she
won't answer the phone ....you know ! :)
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 15
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 7:31:22 PM

The secret is not detachment from others. Detachment is no better than dependence when taken too far.
But, it is necessary to see others in a realistic light.




More like acceptance of the world and all the people in it as being imperfect, but still OK to be human with all our imperfections..


I don't interact with dramatic people. I choose to interact with people who are balanced, who understand themselves and the world around them and who have their own valued opinions. One doesn't have to detach to avoid the negative or the drama. One simply understands how to circumvent it and carry on.

"Giving in, to me, signifies 'not getting it.'
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 16
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 7:45:25 PM

I don't interact with dramatic people.


Oh yes you do. And so do I. On the forums with almost every post. And...I do IRL and (at times) find it entertaining. But NOT in the context of a relationship.

I know what the OP is talking about. Not detaching from the human race. Just keeping the fortress of solitude a single occupancy (no vacancy) unless/until a suitable non-dramatic tenant comes along.

And these forums are riddled with those that look to create or find drama in a relationship whether it exists or not.

Like..."I love this guy...but when he is sick his mother always brings him chicken noodle soup. I should be the one to make him soup. What should I do...talk to him or his mother?"

Now the sap had to deal with projectile vomit, pizzed off mother and "hurt" gal. Worst of all...he has to make his own soup now.
 66andlovingit
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 17
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/27/2011 10:56:26 PM
Seakytten, how right you are! As I said in another thread post, there are just so many scammers here.

I don't get my hopes up over anyone. I,too, am fine with my one cat (smile). I do check my mail here every once in a while. The guys here are so self absorbed, they do NOT have time for a woman anyway. I feel the majority of them are married!!

I will meet someone who is worthy of me, I can wait.
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 18
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I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 2:41:49 AM
Well Op I do have to disagree, animals thou great are not a substitute for people and conversation, thou I'm in a good place and happy right now I still like to go out and socialize and just have some fun. I understand wanting to stay away from those high drama high maintenance people but hiding away in your house thou safe and comfortable with familarity means you don't take any risks either which can bring rewards in meeting new and interesting people and possibly that special someone.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 19
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 3:09:45 AM
If living with 6 cats is your thing ..ROCK that litter box..
45 fish????

Don't tell me they all have names.

I like those sucky fish that suck on the sides of the aquarium..COOL
Ever give them a jello shots on a Sat night?

Well ya get the fish drunk and nip the cats..Turn on tha disco, light the ball and live your life in YOUR world .

It would be cool to see a" happy" clam, 45 fish and 6 cats on you tube doing y'alls thing .
Do send us a link.

You may put Sponge Bob to shame

SeaKytten Happy Pants...I get royalties for the idea.

Oh and I do not get involved with DA RAMA/ married men and cyber LUV........
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 20
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 3:24:37 AM
Anyone else feel that they are sooo happy to not be in the 'drama zone' anymore?

i felt like that once, but after i had a few good tokes on the ol' bong i decided to ask myself why i had even created all that drama for myself in the first place.

i think there's a difference between being happy alone and merely avoiding relationships because you objectify them darkly based on prior drama (as opposed to those rose-colored glasses everyone loves to wear)......

however, i can see where relationships are overrated and abstinence is the lesser of two evils. you know, sorta like alcoholics can't enjoy a MO-HEE-TOE anymore because they already enjoyed too many.

heeeey, how did that sucky fish end up on the carpet?
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 21
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 3:46:09 AM

i think there's a difference between being happy alone and merely avoiding relationships because you objectify them in a negative based on prior drama......

^^^^^^^^^^^^

Some prefer to stay in..avoid life because they don't know how to interact without drama.



heeeey, how did that sucky fish end up on the carpet?

^^^^^^^^^^^
It was all that DA RAMA in the fish bowl and jello shots.
One fish messing with another fishes fish, to much booze..Virtual fishy stuff.

Pass the MO HEE TOES
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 22
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 3:46:49 AM
I choose not to be in the * no drama zone * but it does not mean I isolate myself from people. Just certain ones.

Relationships are not easy, they require getting to know someone in person, and time. Not cyber, Skype and e mails.

I keep things simple for a reason. Few good friends, good family. Not alone but not the need to be surrounded by people 24/7.

Happy couple struggle. There is a difference. That part I am fine with. Just not the fake, fall in love with people I never even met nonsense.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 23
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:09:04 AM

I see couples and single people struggling day by day with the drama of trying to make things work with other people.

I want no part of any of it anymore.


Good, but please don't use that as a excuse in shuting down your heart. As your happiness & the pursuit of it can come in all forms of life,as it should be. Never completely hinge it on just your s/o! lol

A well balanced relationship is the key naturally & many folks can & still do this.
Like in other past posts here,those folks do have a aura, & peace of mind which we all can enjoy in their contentment. It still does exist! lol

.

I've not given up. I just haven't given in. Anyone else feel that they are sooo happy to not be in the 'drama zone' anymore?


My dear mermaid of the sea, time to not give up, but to let go.
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 24
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 6:57:51 AM
Do you mean that you've given up on *all* relationships, including friendships? Or just romantic types?

The fact that you state in your profile that you've made many online friendships would suggest that you do actually care about having *some* kind of contact with others...
the only problem is, that on-line friends are often too far away if you need someone to come over in an emergency, or for you to be close enough to help, if they have one...

cats and fish are lovely companions in their giving, non-judgmental ways... but in times of illness, death, loneliness, joy or sorrow when you need to share the emotion, etc. they're not much help...

making and keeping good friends is hard when we live such busy lives, but it is important, if you can, to have at least one person you can rely on... and who can rely on you... one person, even if you don't see them every day/week/month, that you know you can turn to should the need arise.

Good luck.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 25
I've finally realized the way to happiness is to detach from everyone.
Posted: 8/28/2011 9:20:34 AM
I've been 'Detached' from everyone...(Except my son, whom I live with)...for years!!
I'm certainly Not very happy about it..!!
Well...Du--Uhhh..!! Why else would I be here...looking for a wonderful Lady..?!!
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