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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > Racist Remark - How would you respond? [CLOSED for Review]      Home login  
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 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 1
Racist Remark - How would you respond? [CLOSED for Review]Page 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I received an IM today from a man that I responded to. We IM each other making conversation and then he made a very racist remark. I was so taken back that I just logged off. Should I have called him out? What would you have done?
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 8:06:53 PM
Yeah, you should have called him on it. But logging out immediately sends the same message.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 3
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 8:59:01 PM
Hi vibrantshe! Yes, you needed to 'call him out'.. Melannie1
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 4
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:02:40 PM
I didn’t say I wasn’t getting contacted. I said I wasn’t getting contacted by anyone who lives in my city and mostly out of state. However, if this is what I’m going to get in my area, I better learn to love the “long distance relationship”. LOL
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 5
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:04:27 PM

What would you have done?


I'd make my disapproval know...as you did. Depending on my mood and who is present...that could range from "calling them out" to walking away. In any case...I know they will not leave a changed person and I've wasted some time.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 6
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:09:21 PM
It wasn’t my intent at the time to show my disapproval. I was just so shocked I didn’t know how to respond, so I really just ran away by logging off.
 FrankNStein902
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 7
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 9:28:33 PM
I received an IM today from a man that I responded to. We IM each other making conversation and then he made a very racist remark. I was so taken back that I just logged off. Should I have called him out?

It would not solve anything or change his opinion so I would say no, unless you enjoy creating drama.




What would you have done?

Same as what you did, took the high road and walked away.
 Island home
Joined: 7/5/2009
Msg: 8
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/27/2011 10:30:50 PM

We IM each other making conversation and then he made a very racist remark. I was so taken back that I just logged off. Should I have called him out? What would you have done?

You should have changed his mind and have him become a loving tolerant human being!
But as our success capability of changing other peoples minds is not high at this point in time.
I would say you acted perfectly.

If he didn't get the message.
Any further contact you could let him know you found it shocking an unacceptable, he can do what ever he chooses with that information.

I've been known to respond in a similar manner
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 9
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History
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 12:19:14 AM
I would have blocked him immediately
 Bladesmith81801
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 10
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 1:49:56 AM
Totally call him on it. The only way to continue to nix this behavior is to bring attention to it.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 11
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 4:36:32 AM
I find calling people out on rasism, bigotry, and hyprocrisy to be futile...they haven't a clue...
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 12
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Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 10:44:47 AM
Some one in our age range who acts like a jerk, isn't going to improve by being lectured to.

He's limiting his life by his decision to believe as he does. Unless he's a politician or other influential person, who is hiding their true hatefulness from the people supporting them, and thus are endangering others, you have no reason to lose any more of your time dealing with them than you already have.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 13
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 12:56:58 PM
Vibrant - At least now you're getting some action on POF.
Before you were complaining that nobody contacted you.

Ah, my pain meds are wearing off. Sighs, you're funny and accurate. What does the nature of the comment matter that you need to post about it on here. You're a middle aged woman and you couldn't figure this out. Stupid people say stupid things and stupid people get negative attention by rehashing them on forums thereby upsetting sensitive people. Happy with yourself now?
 justagrlwithacat
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 14
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 1:41:01 PM
I think if that happened to me, I'd say something like wow that was totally uncalled for and not cool, I don't feel comfortable continuing talking to you, best of luck on POF.
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 15
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 2:57:42 PM
It really would depend on what he said. Did he express that he felt certain races were inferior to his own, or did he express that he only dated members of his own race? Some people feel both attitudes are racist, while others distinguish between the two.
 Meat_Sack
Joined: 8/23/2011
Msg: 16
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:18:04 PM

We IM each other making conversation and then he made a very racist remark. I was so taken back that I just logged off. Should I have called him out?

Depends on the remark, IMO. Some people see racism in everything.
And it depends on what you mean by "calling him out."

The way you handled it he might not know you took offense or whatever, so will still keep trying to contact you.
Whereas if you "called him out" and typed like"I really don't appreciate racist remarks, please don't contact me again," or, "that remark was a little too far for me, we are not compatible, best of luck in your search," then he might not bother you in the future.

Just logging off could mean you had a power surge or someone at the door or something just came up. He might not even realize what he was saying was racist so thinks you ran off because you were talking to another guy, and therefore will try harder to "win" you.


What would you have done?

Depends on the remark. I wouldn't have just run away though. I might have had some fun with it for my own entertainment.
 Jazzzy
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 17
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 5:30:04 PM
who is hiding their true hatefulness from the people supporting them


Igor, love the nic btw, I am guessing you are not a party hack...your political affiliation appears unbiased...I like that.

Politics seems to work best when you keep politics out of it.
 vibrantshe
Joined: 3/21/2011
Msg: 18
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/28/2011 8:58:00 PM
I’ve been around the block enough times to know a racist remark when I hear one. There was no mistake. I’m not worried about this guy trying to contact me again. But if he does, I’m so totally going to blast him. Maybe that doesn’t make me a good person but I bet it will feel great. :)

By the way Pinkoleander, It was my understanding that this is precisely what the boards are for - to vent and exam. In another post I wrote that I seem to only get contacted by Out-of- Towner’s; not that I don’t get any contacts at all. And I wanted to know if anyone else was having that experience.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 19
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Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:43:10 AM
I cannot let racism go un-remarked upon . I would have said that I found his attitude offensive, told him why (remembering that it is JMO), and then removed myself from the conversation and blocked him. No fanfare or on going argument. I just cannot let what I consider ignorant and narrow minded opinion go without responding. I DO get that it is just my opinion Vs theirs. Racism... just.. ughhhhhhhhhh
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 20
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/29/2011 5:15:01 AM
Between the two extremes of logging off v calling him out, you could stay in neutral and tell him you didn't like it.

Online is an excellent medium for practicing communication because of the luxury of time to think before responding (even in IM).

If it was a remark against your own race -- he knows what he did.
If against another race -- he still knows what he did. Coming out with that stuff is a way for racists to find each other.
 trinity818
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 21
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Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/29/2011 3:08:09 PM
I try not to waste my time or energy on idiots. I would have done what you did. End the discussion and move on.
 Earthpuppy
Joined: 2/9/2008
Msg: 22
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Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/30/2011 6:16:17 AM
I have relatives and work mates with rascist inclinations. (I don't keep racsists around within my friends circle.) By not calling them out on it, it only encourages them. They need to be told how offensive it is, with all DUE respect. After an admonishment or two, they've all learned to keep it to themselves around me. The more people that do that, eventually they might learn that racism just isn't as fun as it once was.

I agree, that with many of them they probably use it as the code to find one another so they can relax in their hatefest. Sounds like they do it in the online dating world as well.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 23
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/30/2011 8:13:52 AM
Personally I told him what I thought of his racist comments( nothing wrong with standing up to your beliefs) and then said Later bud.

You cant argue with idiots, a good friend once told me you cant bring a intelligent conversation to a moron convention.
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 24
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/31/2011 12:22:41 AM
Why is one type of bad behavior different than another?
If a guy insulted your body, or your family, or your religion, would you be any less offended?
 SteelCity1981
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 25
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History
Racist Remark - How would you respond?
Posted: 8/31/2011 2:04:23 AM
You can't change people, the only way a person can change their train of thought is for them to see it for themselves. Sure blasting him might make you feel great, but at the same time that will give him more of a reason to be a racist. Educating someone by getting to the root cause of their own problem with something and showing them a diff side will help see their problem for themselves and may help them change their mind on that issue.
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