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 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 2
Now or later?Page 1 of 1    
Honesty is always a good thing, first thing if you're a bigger girl, you say you're a bigger girl, whether its a few extra pounds or a BBW, be honest

2) post body pics to show if you're bigger/few extra pounds/bbw

If you're disabled you can briefly mention it , but disabled can mean different things, that's generally left at the Communication stage.

Surprises due to omission of facts generally turns off prospective mates/dates
 SunDevil_in_SC
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 3
Now or later?
Posted: 8/28/2011 7:46:18 PM
Medical history is ok to leave off profiles. That's personal, and you don't need to share it until you're comfortable in doing so. We've got our big pants on, so we can wait and take the news when it comes. (When I was typing this I meant all of the back surgeries and steroids ... but it probably would be wise to mention that you are physically disabled)

As for contact, I'd recommend that you contact if you are interested in a guy. They may say no, but then you'll never know.

Iceman: I did correct for the physically disabled part, but giving out medical history on a profile just (to me) doesn't seem like the wisest thing to do.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 4
Now or later?
Posted: 8/28/2011 7:48:54 PM
Being truthful isn't a surprise. Just select the best body description that you can and if you're not sure, post a full body shot and ask in profile review. It's always a good idea to have a review anyway.
I was in a car wreck a year ago and went thru the wringer and gained some weight.
I basically hid my profile and took care of me and got in better health before I just started dating again.

Take good care of yourself and get good rehab and do whatever you can to promote good health.
Best wishes.
 commonsens_reloaded
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 5
Now or later?
Posted: 8/28/2011 8:29:28 PM
Cdn Iceman, you've have said it all: could not have placed it better myself.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 6
Now or later?
Posted: 8/28/2011 8:41:14 PM
You might mention you have a disability. And you can also make contact.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 8
Now or later?
Posted: 8/28/2011 10:38:54 PM
You ask a question that ALL people with disabilities ask as, you don't to be seen AS your disability but, you also want to be honest about it.

What I chose to do was to be myself FIRST :) Once I get to know the person better and b better, THEN I explain that I have MS and walk with a walker.

Why would you not make contact? Would YOU do that or, would your disability stop you from doing that? So now I can ask you, are you your disability or are you still who you are withought it?
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 10
Now or later?
Posted: 8/28/2011 11:31:19 PM
Getting your heart broken because of your disability is a bit quick. End up being disappointed beause of it is a real possibility but if you remain real to what's going on around you, you'll be fine!


I will say my disability is part of who I am


Be very carefull here, YOU are NOT your disability as, you do have to live with certain things because of it. The big diffrence here is that some people who have become their disabilities, look at their life with no hope or ambitions for tomorrow. They don't because they are depressed and discouraged with themselves and, life in general.

I ask you again, why would you wait for men to contact you, why not do it yourslef?


When is it to much? When does it come to the point that I look desperate?


Who says they're an answer to that? The simple is when YOU think it is.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 12
Now or later?
Posted: 8/29/2011 3:18:58 AM
The whole point of these "Dating" sites are to locate someone, tell enough, and set up a meeting within 1 to 5 days.
Take it off line and meet up in real life as soon as possible for just one hour, some place public where people know you , if thats possible. And during the day, just for one hour, a "Meeting", an introduction.


wondering if I sit and wait for men to contact me or do I continue to contact.


You continue to make contact with guys you think you might be attracted to in real life.


When is it to much?


No such thing. You're on a "Locating" Site. So your task is to "Locate guys" , two , three, a hundred if you wish. And see what comes back.
They live in area, after a few emails , you tell them lets meet at a place for one hour, in the afternoon. Simple as that.


When does it come to the point that I look desperate?


Nobody is paying that close attention. Besides, thats not even your concern. You have signed up to a "Site" , you have a task in mind, so you set out to accomplish that task.


Like i said I am pretty clueless and I must be doing something wrong. I just don't know what.


You and a billion others. Don't worry about it.
 sj7
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 13
Now or later?
Posted: 8/29/2011 3:25:18 AM
hey getting frustrated about this ,


In Ask a Girl ... guys are responding leaving no room for girls to answer
In Ask a Guy... I am beginning to see a trend of girls answering the question..

Do you think we can leave some room for girls to respond to questions being asked in Ask a Girl and visa versa for the guys?

I notice there are way more men responding in threads that were specifically for girls to respond to.
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 14
Now or later?
Posted: 8/29/2011 10:32:57 AM
Icemans advice is dead on.

You want to mention the disability. Maybe not in the profile but you generally want to mention when 1 you are comfortable and 2 before you are too attatched. If guy is going to have a problem it it's not going to matter a great deal when you tell him.

If you're fairly independent include that when you tell him.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 15
Now or later?
Posted: 8/29/2011 3:36:30 PM
Yes post a full body picture.

No, do not mention a disability until you are comfortable with them.

Everyone has something that isn't perfect.
Should a diabetic disclose that on a profile if they need shots before a meal?
No.

Do I want to know before we meet if we are going to eat? Yes please.
If you need to pull out a needle.

If they don't need shots but are still diabetic there is no need to tell me until we have established we may want to actually date after a meet.

I talked to a man 2 months from out of town that visited..He never mentioned he had all sorts of ailments..Could barely walk..needed a lot of medication and was down right sickly.

Yes sometime during our morning e mails he should have disclosed it.
Because all of that added up to a very sick guy. I felt he had lied.
He had made plans to come for 2 weeks.

So you can tell to soon.........or not soon enough.

Situations vary.
But I would not put it in your profile.
 *Just Jim*
Joined: 7/6/2007
Msg: 16
Now or later?
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:13:32 PM

Do I want to know before we meet if we are going to eat? Yes please.
If you need to pull out a needle.

If they don't need shots but are still diabetic there is no need to tell me until we have established we may want to actually date after a meet.


First of all,being a diabetic myself,we don't pull out a big needle & say,lookie here!! lol

Being out in the public you do things discretely,without getting attention. Do you breast feed your kids in public & say bottom up gang!!? lol

imo, diabetes is no different then taking vitamins.
You can still live a fairly normal life, jsyk.
What I find disturbing is the ignorance of most people think of those with a supposedly disability that can be controlled with diet & exercise,etc.
imo it's the ones who are uneducated the ones with the disability. jmo!!
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 17
Now or later?
Posted: 8/29/2011 4:21:07 PM
I wouldn't use the word "disabled", just mention you prefer certain activites or what you can or can't do or that you're in physio or whatever. Don't dwell on it. It's probably a big deal for you but not for others.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 18
Now or later?
Posted: 8/30/2011 3:01:15 AM

First of all,being a diabetic myself,we don't pull out a big needle & say,lookie here!! lol

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
The needles weren't big..nor did they say lookie.


My grandfather was a type 1 diabetic so I know SOME men do not do this in front of others.
Some do and have on first dates.

They chose to make it a public display, which was my point to the op.



Op As others had said don't let limitations define you.

Your abilities and other attributes should be what you focus on..
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 19
Now or later?
Posted: 8/30/2011 3:25:39 AM
I agree with most of the guys; I think medical history is not needed but just some photos and say you are a bbw is cool.

I hope you feel better soon.
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