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 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 1
Mid Life CrisisPage 1 of 1    
From a woman's perspective; What does 'Mid Life Crisis' mean to you? (As in whats going through your mind) Should we even call it a 'Crisis'? And what advice would you give a man when confronted with it?

You can speak in reference to what you suggest for single, or married men. Just make a note of which you are referring to.

I think men could use some guidance in this area since most trouble signs are not recognized until its too late!
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 2
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 4:39:03 PM
For what I've seen
It's pretty similar in men and women

They start telling people "I look 30 years old" when they are really 45
They buy a convertible or a Harley
They start dating much younger people than they used to
They wear their jeans a tad too tight
I just saw a guy wearing the Ed hardy wear, angel wings, skulls, hat turned to the back, and pants so tight it look like Ed had a muffin Top tucked under the wings, riding a skateboard, he is at least 50 years old but he thinks nobody can tell him apart from his teenage son, they must be twins! .....NOT!

Advise
Don't ever answer "yes"
When a 45 year old woman asks you
Are these jeans making my a$$ look big?
 Lint Spotter
Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 4:50:48 PM
My advice to someone that claims they're going through a mid life crisis...

Suck it up... it's called getting older. Weak people use this as an excuse to behave in a manner inappropriate to their level.
 JD4Real29
Joined: 3/28/2011
Msg: 4
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:32:46 PM
You're 38 and having a mid-life crisis? Wait til you hit 48.

Sit down and examine your life, decide what you want and how you're going to get there. Then go for it :)
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 5
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 5:50:51 PM
I really do not believe in a mid life crisis. Just like I do not buy * PMS * either. I think people start thinking too much and tend to blame certain things ( like getting older ) on having a crisis, melt down, whatever they decide to call it.

I feel personally the best thing to do is just deal with what is going on at hand right away and if you are involved with someone else, mention what is on your mind but do not allow it to consume you or the relationship. So many people allow so much nonsense to go on when in fact, some things are just NOT controllable.

Both genders tend to be dramatic about things really. Easiest thing I have ever done is just deal with whatever the problem is right away, and keep it in check.


LOL @ Forum Fishie...seeing the 50 year old muffin top in an Ed Hardy outfit....Gawd....I see that here too. I saw some woman today as a matter of fact, at a Mill no doubt in Amish Country. I was getting eggs and some steal cut oats and this woman.....55 maybe? With more bling on than Mr. T , big D&G glasses and a BEBE shirt. Talk about a mid life melt down...and the shirt / sweats were at least 3 sizes too small....I was going to e mail you from the store but there was no reception.....LOL
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 6
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 6:00:54 PM
You're 38 and having a mid-life crisis? Wait til you hit 48.

Sit down and examine your life, decide what you want and how you're going to get there. Then go for it :)


I am DEFINITELY not talking about me here. Thanks for burning up 1 of 21 replies on that useless post. Sorry to be so bitter about this, but someone ALWAYS attacks the poster for some reason or another when I was just trying to get GOOD information from ladies here, and that wasn't it. I know whats in my head, I am interested in what we guys will probably never know: whats women think, sometimes at least.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 7
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 6:44:24 PM
My apologies to all that have read this thread. I read my original post and it does sound like I am speaking about myself. I am asking what goes on in a womans mind because I went through a situation where SHE was acting very like SHE was in this stage of life. Once again, my apologies for misleading the thread.

One too many vodka-crans this evening....
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 8
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 6:47:38 PM
Just know that when you are around a woman that's having a hot flash, RUN!!!
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 9
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:24:44 PM

From a woman's perspective; What does 'Mid Life Crisis' mean to you?


LOLOL...are you kidding me?!! From her perspective it means you railed the babysitter and bought a sports car.

Men who typically have a "Mid life crisis", married too young to the wrong blasted woman.


(As in whats going through your mind)


Really , you don't need to give a damn.


Should we even call it a 'Crisis'?


No lets call it , "Mid life bang a hot chick".


And what advice would you give a man when confronted with it?


Are you just freaking nutty upstairs? You don't ask women this.


You can speak in reference to what you suggest for single men


Don't get married before 30.


or married men.


Good freaking luck.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:27:51 PM
It's the inability to accept yourself as you are. Some people are just determined to make an azz of themselves trying to be younger than they are.
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 11
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 7:30:19 PM
@ unclezeus


3. What makes me unique? I really don't know, nor care what makes me unique. What makes me unique is up to how perceptive you are.


I know what makes you unique!
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 12
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 8:52:16 PM
~OP~ A "mid life crisis" is generally what people say about other people that they don't understand or like changes that person is making. I don't believe there is such a thing in reality. I mean, what is mid-life anyway? When you turn 40, 45, 60??? Some times people get to a stage in their life when they want and can do things they have never done previously or been able to afford to buy (i.e.: the new Harley, sports cars, boats, etc., etc.) Then you have those who wish to date someone much younger. I don't see how any of these things equate to a crisis. Quite the opposite actually. But, to each their own, some people need to label everything ~ this is just another one of those labels in my mind. JMO
 Detectorman1976
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 13
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 10:27:09 PM
It seems a midlife crisis for a woman means going out to bars with her girlfriends and trying to get young guys in bed..oh yeah and buying stripper shoes
 RichenLosAngeles
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 14
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/3/2011 11:56:15 PM
"Mid-Life Crisis" is a device to get weaklings to purchase self-help books, engage therapists, study Cosmo articles and watch Dr. Phil daily so they can deal with whatever it is.
I've done stupid things all my life, why the hell should I wait for any special age?
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 15
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/4/2011 12:34:58 AM
A mid-life crisis happens to those that feel they have been stuck in a rut with their marriage, SO, and/or job so they decide to juice it up a bit and make changes.

For some women it's a way to reinvent themselves. For years many were mothers, caretakers, housekeepers....one day they woke up realizing they had no adventure and maybe their spouse wasn't attentive.

Those that feel they need change should talk to their spouses/So but many just decide they are done and nothing to talk about or they have tried for years and were shot down.

Even if they don't leave, they still decide to make changes. Can be weight loss, boob job, new sports car (I did this one), new Harley (me again), and many times have affairs ( didn't.)

Others may just need to add adventure or go back to school. As for the mid-life part, it can happen at any age. Just seems to hit those in their 40's and 50's more often.
 sj7
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 16
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/4/2011 1:15:17 AM
A mid life crisis could be when the woman starts menopause ... I think I read another poster give the advise to RUN ! ... ha ha ha ... that may be the only option..

However, I'm a firm believer acknowledgment .. the earlier somebody can acknowledge it the better. In any thing that is emotional and psychological the first response is always to acknowledge it. ... the person will not change until they themselves are ready to acknowledge it.

The second thing is ... I would think there is a level of fear behind the mid life crisis ... fear of how much time is left .. you're not feeling like you're going to live as long and so you start to question about all that you have done and maybe there are regrets or you maybe you wish you could have been farther along in life .... and when I say you I don't mean directly you but you as in the general sense....

And then finally ... life is too short to worry about the fact that perhaps you could have done this or that or have achieved this or that ... instead of saying I wish I could have done this and that go do this or that ... if you wanted to get a higher education and you're already 50 ... the question then to ask ... do you want to be 60 with a degree or 60 without a degree .... just get the degree or if you have a dream that has yet to be fulfilled set out to do it ...

the point is ... live life and love life and be safe while you live life and love life...
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 17
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/5/2011 1:32:58 AM
OP, this refers to how I am thinking and handling being suddenly single at mid-life or beyond. Although I wouldn't call it a crisis, it has certainly been an eye-opener, and has called for some serious reassessment. Comments I make further on about fairly newly-single women in general obviously will not apply to all, but probably to many.

Life as a single is quite a change from life as half a couple. There are many activities we did together that I can no longer safely do on my own, or which are no longer fun when done alone (such as boating or camping). It calls for a change of lifestyle, but also of thinking like a single. It was several months after my husband passed away before I realized I was still purchasing food based on his likes and dislikes.

Dating also is much different nowadays. The 'rules of engagement', so to speak, have changed, but my morals and values are the same as before. Nor do I intend to modify them.

I've also been looking at the lifestyle I've created for myself. Can I reasonably expect another man to fit into it, or me into his? Chances are, both lifestyles would have to undergo significant changes so the merged one would suit us both.

I also have to realize that I am no longer the same person who entered the relationship 20 years ago. I've matured and mellowed a great deal, and see things a lot differently. Therefore, the type of personality, mentality and, to some extent, behaviour I now seek in a mate has also changed.

On forum posts, I've often read complaints from men that women don't seem to know what they want from a man, and in many cases, that may be true. I would suggest you fellows take into account that a now-single middle-aged woman could be wading through the same types of realizations as I've described for myself above. The type of man she was once attracted to or compatible with will likely also have changed. It may take some time for her to realize what traits attract her now. In the past, she may have been drawn, say, to the flamboyant, super-confident type with the fancy sports car, but now that type no longer appeals. It's a new learning curve for her, and it probably is for men in this situation as well.

The tendency, according to what I've read in the forums, is to rush into physical and cohabiting relationships as opposed to taking the time to know each other intimately mentally and emotionally first. The signs of trouble you refer to, OP, are probably more to do with moving too fast, among singles getting together, than with any midlife crisis.

My advice would be for men and the lady of their choosing to spend as much time together, getting to know one another, as possible before moving in together. Then if there is some sort of midlife crisis going on, the two of them can work it through together without the added stresses and adjustments of living under the same roof just yet. Once they've both completed the transitions from them-before to them-now and 'where to, from here', the feeling of comfort and quiet confidence in the relationship should make an excellent foundation for living together 24/7. At least, that's what my suggestion would be, but to each his/her own.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 18
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:27:13 AM
I've done stupid things all my life, why the hell should I wait for any special age?

Totally. I'd like to not have a crisis for once. Mid-life or otherwise.
 JaxSunVilleGal
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 19
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/5/2011 11:02:21 AM
To me, mid-life crisis is a point when a man takes a screeching halt to his life and suddenly begins to make a list of all the things he's "missed out" on, due to being married, raising children, etc. So they wish to recapture their youth in a desperate attempt to convince themselves that they need to be Ashton Kutcher rather than a delicious Tom Sellek.

I consider it to be a man questioning the path his life has taken him, and finding regret instead of accomplishment. So he tries to do "what-I-missed" boot camp.
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 20
Mid Life Crisis
Posted: 9/5/2011 11:15:02 AM
Very generally, I'd say that in 'crisis' form it exhibits itself like the last poster stated.

Another form, so to speak, is when you have a logical individual who has what I would like to term a mid-life awareness.
They take stock of where they are in life and sense or see that they want to make changes and go about it in a practical way.
The way to circumvent the negativity you mentioned is to have good, open communication about it with your partner ( friends, family, etc.) and hopefully embrace it together, or at least have a supportive team player. Share the journeys in life.
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