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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Should i be insulted? Would you be?      Home login  
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 ProducePro
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 1
Should i be insulted? Would you be?Page 1 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Hey all, was wondering if i should be insulted and would you be? Ive been dating someone for over 6 months now and late last month i found myself in the uncomfotable position of having to borrow a 100 dollars from my girlfriend so i wouldnt be a week late with the rent. I told her if she couldnt help thst would be ok but she lent me the money thursday sept 1st in the morning and i thanked her and told her id pay her back on the 8th. Well then i didnt hear from her all day thursday till i called ber late that night. She seemed weird and we said goodnight agter a very brief chat. Didnt hearfrom her again till she texted me saturday afternoon a nd she thanked me for giving her space and she felt better. I told her i was glad she was feeling better but i didnt know what was wrong that she needed sapce from me? Well she stated that at first wasnt sure if she wanted to be with a man who couldnt support himself but after weighing my good points she got past it.Im glad she got past it but it bugs me she even thought that way at all. ive paid my share of dates and she knows i pay child support and have mnay bills and its a struggle even though i work 46hours week. Should i be insulted she told me what she did ? Would you?
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 2
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Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:41:12 PM
Now you know that you shouldn't borrow money from her.

The best way to get rid of friends is to borrow money from them.
 sexymind85
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 3
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:42:39 PM
Why does it really matter if anyone else would be insulted? If you were, then that's between you and your girlfriend. I probably wouldn't borrow money from her again, though, if it bothers you that it bothered her.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 4
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:44:16 PM
ive paid my share of dates and she knows i pay child support and have mnay bills and its a struggle even though i work 46hours week. Should i be insulted she told me

Be whatever you do feel, but understand that it was good she actually told you HER feelings about it,
listen and learn about basic human female mate-selection instincts..

After 6 months you both should be sharing most everything, and sharing true feelings is good for the long term.. If you learn from your current experience and don't repeat the instigating behavior... S
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 5
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:44:51 PM
The thing I would be wondering is how long has she been uncomfortable with your financial situation? And is she really past it? I would guess no, just from her behavior. However, I am not there to see & hear conversations.

If she was worried about being with a man who could not support himself, I can understand that. However, she has also had no problem with you spending money on her and I am guessing is aware of your bills and financial situation?

Is something missing here? You went from borrowing 100 bucks, to her texting you saying thank you she needed space. These are 2 different issues here .

She * seems * to be possibly re evaluating your personal situation. As she should be.
 smartypants24
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 6
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:45:46 PM
Now you know not to borrow money from her...

Frankly, I don't borrow money from people I like. Not because I wouldn't pay it back, but people get weird about money. I would have spoken to my landlord, and asked how we could work it out, like paying what you could and the rest after your next pay period, or talk about moving your rent payment day to one that works better for you.
 azul14
Joined: 11/26/2010
Msg: 7
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Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:46:55 PM
I think it is great she thought about the situation and gave you the explaination that she did. I also think it is admirable of her to offer to help you with your rent.

If you can't make ends meet to pay the child support and the bills, you need to reassess your budget and maybe go on dates that don't cost as much. Maybe your date will go dutch and help you out in that respect. I don't think it is her responsibility if you continually get into hardship to pay child support and rent. If I was you I would make sure it didn't happen again, then your GF may be just fine with the good points she sees in you. Good luck.
 SweetLady95
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 8
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:49:59 PM
I can understand her concern, especially if she plans to build a long term relationship with you i.e. marriage. I'm not saying that you shouldn't feel insulted, but you should look at it from her point of view. She has the right to desire to be with a man that is financially stable. I also think you shouldn't make a habit of borrowing money from her. Try to budget wisely. I know the economy is very bad right now and times are hard for everyone, but budgeting and planning goes a long way. You should talk to her and let her know how you feel.
 ProducePro
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 9
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:52:19 PM
Well one area we are very diferent is i like to communicate for example send texts durig the day to say and let her know im thinking of her and shes totally not like that. Most of the time i have to do the calling or texting so i decided to wait for her to contact me which she did sat and probably shes used to me contacting her so she saw it as me giving her space
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 10
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:55:43 PM
Another poster put it bluntly, she is probably re-evaluating the situation. What if you both went on to a deeper commitment somewhere down the road and it meant marriage? You know how the saying goes "What's yours is mine, what's mine is yours", including the child support issues. When two people care about each other, they work through a lot of things. She got involved with you knowing your situation and she gladly let you pay on dates. Now, she had a problem lending you money and stayed mum for a few days, stating that she appreciated you giving her space. What was the space for? This is just the beginning of more things to come....
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 11
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:58:08 PM
so i decided to wait for her to contact me which she did sat and probably shes used to me contacting her so she saw it as me giving her space

Remember that.. Keep the communication fairly balanced so she doesn't feel much need for more space,
since you give her enough days of space each week.. Be careful to not text her EVERY day, that might make her feel smothered.. Wait until you DO have something to say...
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 12
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 5:59:37 PM
Naw I think she should have lied about being bothered and waited until you asked again and then broke up with you...I mean seriously who wants to have real honest communication in relationships anymore...if you do then the person is just going to overlook the fact that you loaned them $100 and post on the forums about how insulting you were to question their need to borrow the money!

Seriously she told you what her issue was...unlike many women she didn't make you quess what was wrong, she behaved in a mature manner and explained why she was bothered...if the shoe was on the other foot...how would you have behaved?
 ProducePro
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 13
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:02:12 PM
Sorry about the typing, im writing this on my phone and its lagging. I guess the space was for her think things through. All i know if it was the other way around i would have been glad to help if i could and wouldnt have thought any less of her.
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 14
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:02:19 PM
Drama, drama, drama. You should be deeply grateful that she was willing to lend you the money. She stepped back thought about it and decided she was ok with it. Now in return you're insulted? Seriously? I would thank her profusely, that's what I would do.
 smua
Joined: 4/20/2010
Msg: 15
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Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:13:34 PM
If I was you I would be more embarrassed that I borrowed $100 for rent. We all have bills, you are not special that way. How do you not even have $100 in savings for situations like this. Not having financial sense is a bad quality.
 rex401y
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 16
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:27:46 PM
I think you should be thankful that she lend the money, and was honest by telling you how she felt about this situation. If I were you, I would work on my emergency funds in order to prevent something like from happening again.
 motown cowgirl
Joined: 6/30/2010
Msg: 17
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:41:16 PM
Im glad she got past it but it bugs me she even thought that way at all. ive paid my share of dates and she knows i pay child support and have mnay bills and its a struggle

well if it bugs you that much, maybe it's time for you to say goodbye to this gal and start managing your personal finances better. at least you won't have all those dating expenses. think of the savings. you pay your fair share of dates but you can't pay your rent? sounds like a money management problem. your problem is as simple as less dating, more rent. maybe learn how to live within your means and get some priorities. you have child support? boo hoo, so does every other single parent out there. personally i'd wonder about you too, complaining about how you pay your share of the disposable income activities when you have little in the way of disposable income, but you have the nerve to second-guess a GF who loaned you $100 just for the asking. she is probably squeezing her butt cheeks together, wondering how much the next loan to you will be for. should you feel insulted, ffs. she just loaned you $100 interest free and you want to know if you should feel insulted. what an ingrate.
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 18
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 6:51:56 PM
Going on dates when you can barely make rent. Yes. You should be insulted. So insulted that after you pay this back, you never hit her up for money again
 TheWonderingGuy
Joined: 4/30/2011
Msg: 19
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:04:49 PM
That's not an insult.

Lifelong best friend (known him since he was 5, we were blood brothers as kids like in the westerns, his parents were mine and vice versa, roomed together for awhile, on and on) gets married. Doesn't ask me to be a best man whatever and when I ask him if there's anything I can do he says "bring money" and hangs up.

THAT is an insult.

What she did is just normal relationship stuff. I wouldn't sweat it.
 TheWonderingGuy
Joined: 4/30/2011
Msg: 20
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:07:52 PM
"If I was you I would be more embarrassed that I borrowed $100 for rent."

Yeah I kind of thought that too but wasn't gonna say it...his finances aren't mine...
 ProducePro
Joined: 7/19/2011
Msg: 21
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:15:16 PM
Apparently theres alot of people who did not read my original post. I am not insulted she asked why i needed the money becaus she didnt ask, i told her off the bat and thanked her a few times. Im insulted becuase it was the first time i asked because its been a rough fewpast months that i was hit with some expected expensives and now because i borrewed a 100 dollars i was on the verge of getting the boot? I guess i guy who has hit a rough patch is a worthless piece of crap despite the faCt he has saved his girlfriend money by doing her brakes for her puting a wall.unit from lkea together for starters. A
you women who are bashing me for being broke are right i should manage my money better, ill start charging for all the little things i do for a woman.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 22
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:29:00 PM

"If I was you I would be more embarrassed that I borrowed $100 for rent."

Yeah I kind of thought that too but wasn't gonna say it...his finances aren't mine...


If I ever had to borrow money to pay my rent, it'd be a big sign to me that I'm not managing my finances properly and should focus on making sure I pay my rent on time, in full. This isn't a game, its your place to live. If I had to skimp on a bill, I'd rather risk losing something like getting my cable cut off than losing my place to live (after all, losing the place to live will 'free up' all those other expenses like phone, electric, gas/oil, etc, really quick ). It would instantly make me wonder what *other* bills they aren't paying...
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 23
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:29:36 PM

Should i be insulted she told me what she did ?


Hell yeah!


Would you?


Hell yeah! In fact I would go one step further. The day I pay her back, I tell her to go pound sand up her v@gina. Just thank God you hadn't married such a petty person.

Over an 11 year relationship, I spent thousands on my ex, and she spent the same, if not more on me. It's called running a household together.

Dump her while you still can.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 24
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:29:45 PM

Im insulted becuase it was the first time i asked


That says it all...your attitude is what people are responding too...you see nothing wrong with asking...you see something wrong with her not wanting to loan you money...she did but she wasn't comfortable and then when she admit what was wrong you copped an attitude on her and claim insult!

No one here is saying you are a bad guy..we are saying that you do mismanage money to be able to date but not pay rent...so it seems you go on dates and pay your half but then ask for that money back from her and the fact you plan to ask for rent money again is shown by your above comment...THE FIRST TIME...like you know you will need money in the future...

dude there are places you can get money ...cash advance places...tell her you cant afford to date until your finances turn around would be showing her respect...see if she is willing to take you out until then but dont pay half and then hit her up for rent money
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 25
Should i be insulted? Would you be?
Posted: 9/5/2011 7:30:20 PM
OMG! Yes, Dump her cheap a$$!! By all means!

Find yourself a Sugar Mommy!
One who GIVES you money without asking
It's hard to be a man
With child support and RENT!

Seriously??

You can't pay your OWN rent?
I mean we are not talking about an EXTRA unexpected expense here
What's next? Grocery Money??

You are doing something wrong, you are a grown man
I would be more than worried and you would had not seen my $100 come out of my wallet to give the guy I'm dating RENT money

She was WAYYYYYY nicer than I.
and you still felt she wasn't "standing by her man" by loaning you the money?

She is right, she should be thinking about it
you are counting putting and IKEA wall untit together and fixing her brakes
against borrowing money???

I bet she could put her own IKEA crap together
and taken the car to the mechanic too

But you said, "NO, let me do it, after all I'll be hitting you for loans whenever I need them and you better have a smile on your face when you loan me the money too, otherwise I'll be very insulted!!"

You sound like a KID
"But is the first time I borrowed money from her"
"But the rent is a lot more than $100.00"
She should be worried, very, very, worried

YES, we KNOW, we are all grown ups here!
We all pay our rent too
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