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 Bobby135
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 1
What Do You Consider Long DistancePage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
From reading a lot of the forums, I see a lot of mention on long distance relationships. Just what is long distance to you? Time and mileage. How much time would you invest in travel? Or how far are you willing to go in miles? I know that when I do a search, I mormally do under 50 miles. But once in awhile will stretch it to 100.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 2
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 5:44:08 AM
Long distance: too far away to see the person as much as you'd like.
For example, if you grew closer to the person and once a week isn't enough, are you close enough geographically to make it happen?
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 3
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 7:08:03 AM
irregulator

curious as to what locale, yours or hers, you now cohabitate? did you move or she move? or both?

in your experience, what were some of the challenges and how did you deal with them?

could be helpful info for those who are considering a long distance....

thank, kaylee
 pinkoleander
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 4
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 7:46:36 AM
I could fly round trip to Las Vegas or Phoenix and still have an hour to spare to eat dinner in the time it takes to drive across Los Angeles during rush hour-3 hours. So to answer your question I'd rather date someone in Phoenix than the SFV.
 Jypzee
Joined: 6/22/2011
Msg: 5
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 7:49:04 AM
to me, it isnt long distance if u can get there in under an hour while driving your car.
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 6
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 7:52:48 AM
If i`m not able to see someone during the week due to the fact they live too far away, than, i consider it long distance....
Anyone who lives more than 100 miles away is far for me...
 Smilingeyes10
Joined: 5/3/2010
Msg: 7
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 8:24:31 AM

I suppose if you want to find someone, the convenience of geography is a legitimate "quality" to seek in a potential mate, …for me, the priorities were compatibilities related to the person themselves, …"convenience" wasn't an issue.


Exactly my thoughts!
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 8
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 9:08:50 AM
IMHO, if you are perceived to a much better quality mate than one the person can reasonably get in their own area, then I think long distance is possible.

Put it this way, if George Clooney wanted to have a relationship with a woman here on POF who lived on the other coast, what do you think she would say? That it's too far? Or would she sit in a plane for 6-7 hours every other day to get to him and let him see the back of her head bobbing in his lap four times a week?

Now would the same person do it for a local truck driver making 30K a year and looks like an extra from the Dukes of Hazzard?

To me, it's simple, IMHO, if you are way out of someone else's league, I mean up and not down, then it's more likely that person will reach far and wide to be with you and get with you.
 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 9
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 9:26:36 AM
It depends for me, I try to keep it around 50 miles or so. First off, anyone I will consider dating must have a job and a vehicle, there is no execptions with that rule. Secondly, if they live outside of the town/city I do, they must be willing to come to see me as I am willing to come to see them (that is if something were to come of it). For anything to work, any sort of relationship whether it be close by or long distance has to go both ways and be give and take (I come see you, you come see me, ect...). If one person has to do everything chances are it won't work. At least this is how I see it.

It depends on the person really. Some are not financially or otherwise capable of having a long distance relationship, so they are limited to their surrounding area. Some have the means to stretch their search area, but like myself look for someone who is willing and able to share driving and such. And there's those who will go to great lengths and do it all themselves, some actually have no problem doing it all and choose to, but I find that unfair to them even though it is their choice.
 Hudsonview10960
Joined: 8/10/2011
Msg: 10
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 9:34:57 AM
When I lived in the east village of new york, long distance was someone who lived on the Upper West Side. I really hated dating out of my neighborhood. Now that I'm in the suburbs, I'm a little more tolerant. I'll consider New Jersey. :)
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 11
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:01:15 AM
I consider an hour's drive long distance. That's about the length of time that usually only allows seeing each other on the weekends. I won't date someone who lives farther away than that anymore.
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 12
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 10:28:38 AM
If it's further than 30 minutes from my front door to his, that's too far for me. And I always consider the eventuality that someone might have to move if the relationship progresses ... and it won't be me.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 13
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 1:23:34 PM
anything more than 20 minutes or 20 miles is a deal-breaker for me..it just wont work long-term..
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 1:39:24 PM

Or would she sit in a plane for 6-7 hours every other day to get to him and let him see the back of her head bobbing in his lap four times a week?


Very eloquently put.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 15
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 1:53:27 PM
I'm not driving more then 45 minutes one way and I'm certainly not going to fly every other day or even once a month.... Even IF he were George Clooney!!
 forumjunkie942
Joined: 8/15/2011
Msg: 16
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 1:59:17 PM
^

Thanks, I feel it was eloquent myself.

But I think in this topic,the most common situation for the average American would be a military type relationship. Either one or both parties are in the military.

And I'll point it out again. How many military wives, who are not in the military themselves, would have married those same guys without base housing, medical benefits, etc, etc. Take away something like base housing or housing stipends, how many military guys do you think would get married? How many women would buy into that? Work all the time to get their medical while hoping your husband doesn't get blown up in some other country and you see him maybe 1 day out of four in a year.

People with more resources are best able to make a long distance work in terms of time. People with money can take some time off of work, they aren't living check to check. People with good careers have a better chance to work even if they move to another area. People with money have more disposable income to fly back and forth to see someone.

IMHO, the more you have to offer, in terms of what society deems desirable ( i.e. women who are young and hot and busty and men who are wealthy, tall, handsome and hung like a horse), the more folks will reach out a distance to get with you. Conversely the less you have to offer, the more you might have to reach far to get more desirable traits you want, as if you don't have much to what society values, you might not be very competitive for the most desirable local mates in your area.

Long isn't "long" if you've got the time and money and life situation to overcome the standard limitations of most long distance situations.
 inthroughtheoutdoor
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 17
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:17:57 PM
Distance, time, mileage...all of that is relative to the individual and his or her circumstances. At the moment, my circumstances are such that travelling and being away from home for any length of time is impossible. And moving is out of the question, at least for the next few years. So long distance is not something I even consider, long distance being for me anything over a 1/2 hour drive. The good thing is that I live in a fairly big city with a population of close to one million if you include the surrounding areas so meeting and dating people from my area is not a problem - the problem is finding that one person you click with (AND who can also put up with your shyte ;)
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 18
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 2:56:48 PM
OP
Or how far are you willing to go in miles? I know that when I do a search, I mormally do under 50 miles. But once in awhile will stretch it to 100.



When I joined dating sites, I listed "not looking for a long distance relationship" on one and chose "50 miles or less" on another. My SO wrote to me despite my preference and I decided he was worth the time apart.

He lives approximately 2 hours away and does most of the traveling to see me. When he isn't working he stays at my house and if he is, he leaves for work from my house on Mondays. When possible I travel out of state with him on business trips.


We have been together over 2 years. He used to joke 100 miles wasn't long distance to him. Even though we can't see each other as often as we would like sometimes, he considers the distance medium.
 joemac356
Joined: 9/22/2009
Msg: 19
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 3:23:51 PM
For me, it's not the journey, it's the destination.
I'd travel around the world to be with the right woman.
I hope she feels likewise...
 DivineBovine
Joined: 5/13/2005
Msg: 20
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 3:26:31 PM
i don't drive - never learned.

anything outside this (small) city is long distance...

 buckeye1332
Joined: 5/19/2011
Msg: 21
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:32:50 PM
"And I always consider the eventuality that someone might have to move if the relationship progresses ... and it won't be me. "

In a way I agree with *armymom*, but there is a little room for compromise. I would be willing to relocate at most 30 minutes from where I work. Anything further is just too far and not cost effective.

I have established myself with my job (which is not one I could pick up in another town, it is located where I live) which I have been at for 9 years and counting, and I will not leave my job nor will I travel more than 30 minutes tops to go to work. I only live 5 minutes away from my job right now. Good jobs are hard to come by with the way the economy is, and travel expenses are not cheap with fuel costs and maintenance to one's vehicle (and I have a full size 4x4 truck with a V8 that I will not get rid of because of the fact it has low miles and highly reliable, plus it is what I want and what I like), so I cannot put myself into a situation where I spend too much on my vehicle expenses and wear and tear, or consider the fact living in Ohio like I do (4x4 comes in real handy in bad weather).....the weather. This is just travel expenses, that doesn't factor in insurance, food, rent, phone, cable/internet, ect......

I am willing to put forth effort into a relationship and make some compromises, but I also cannot put myself in a situation that stretches me too thin financially or places my employment in peril. No one is going to take care of me but me, so I do have to look out for #1 in some aspects.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 22
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 4:47:03 PM
Depends on how long the woman can stay horny once her hormones kick in overdrive... if you're too far for her to get to in that amount of time she's gonna find someone closer so why would you bother dating her in the first place?

For men, it seems we'll drive a couple hours just to get some...

Soooo its relative to the people involved from both persepctives...

On a serious note;

I've dated girls that were an hour drive away, it was just too inconvenient to work out. 30 minutes drive is really the most I want to travel.

Would I move if I met the right women? Hell yes, but only if we're both packing our things and moving in together somewhere else for both of us... if she wouldn't do the same for me why would I do it for her? Thats obviously a one sided relationship.
 VotedBest
Joined: 2/28/2010
Msg: 23
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/6/2011 6:25:54 PM
The Question is "What Do You Consider Long Distance?" Until the internet, long distance dating was a lot rarer. Then came "Gerald's Law." By the way, my name is Gerald.

Gerald's Law is the scientific principle that the absolutely most perfect person for you that you meet on line is at least 200 miles away.

Perhaps Gerald's Law exist because people want what they can't have or is out of their reach. It is this scientist's advice that since "life is not a dress rehearsal," and many people marry who live in other states -- to take that chance and at least meet that person who appears normal. If love conquers all, the two of you will figure out how to be together.
 cinnarose
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 24
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/7/2011 11:20:32 AM
If it's more than 30 minutes, I'd be inclined to pass.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 25
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What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 9/7/2011 11:58:24 AM
If you have to get on the freeway...

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