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 lovesametc
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 1
how to start conversation with girls in partyPage 1 of 1    
I am a party guy , i am out almost 6 days of week sometimes 7 days

I am very friendly when I talk people and very approachable too but problem is that I cant start proper conversation with a girl to whom i like mostly ended up as friend,
now this is a big problem for me. I have huge list of female friends but dont have a girl friend

Girls and guys please help me to know how to start a conversation to a girl which will not lead me to friend zone
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 2
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/7/2011 6:59:42 PM
YA probably don't have to change what ya say, but,maybe get your count down to 2-3 days a week???? Not sayin that's the problem,but, I maybe suggesting it "could"be one of your problems. Don't think they don't know. They know, and they talk.
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 3
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how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/7/2011 7:02:26 PM
It sounds like you're flirting with girls nightly. Who's gonna take you seriously?
 4evablessed
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 4
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/7/2011 7:09:59 PM
I think you need to slow your roll for one...you may sound desperate. If I'm talking to you and your telling me that you go out 6-7 days a week, that is a HUGE turn off. I can see why they only want to be friends with you. What else do you do in your spare time? Even when I was younger, I wasn't looking for a "party guy" for a boyfriend. Try talking to woman at the gym or somwhere other than "out partying". Whatever you do...do NOT tell woman you do this...this could be what's making the light switch go...off. I would always see you as "the party guy". You want them to see you as the interesting, smart, funny...guy.

LL
 ATLfan25
Joined: 5/29/2011
Msg: 5
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/7/2011 7:53:03 PM
I'll have to agree with what some of the others have said. You're 26 which probably means you are out of school(maybe not?) so the # of days partying each week should be cut down. It's fine to be sociable and party on occasion if that is your thing but every night? No woman is going to take you seriously and most will likely think you are a post-college dude trying to hang on to his frat boy days.
 sj7
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 6
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/7/2011 8:18:25 PM
Yes ... to hear a guy goes out partying almost if not every night is a turn off.

Perhaps with respectful compliments with the clothes a lady is wearing is a good way to initiate and make known you like her. And perhaps when the time is right ask the girl out on a date. Somebody has to give ... if not her then you. And while some girls have no problem making the first move I think there are many girls who are waiting for the guy to make the first move to say he's interested in the girl in more then just a friendship way.
 lovesametc
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 7
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/7/2011 11:41:09 PM
Thanks for suggestions,
well i wrote thing in a wrong way, I go out on week days because of my work, I am working as sales and marketing manager and mostly I have to go out with my oversea clients , some time for networking to get new sales lead and during weekend I go out as I want to hang out with frndz

But i will take your suggestions and next time will not tell girls that I go out almost every night until they wont find out
 cubanojoe
Joined: 8/26/2011
Msg: 8
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 1:11:46 AM
well you should probably mention the reason you go out if for business no need to get into details.

You want some mystery to yourself I mean honestly we are all curious and if you have no mystery to who you are then why would anyone be curious into you?

It could be the topics your talking about.

It might help if you ask open ended questions or make them talk more than you!!!
It will not only seem as if your a good listener which you should pay attention!! but if you can keep them talking about themselves they will feel more comfortable and begin to have an interest in you because they have had a good long fun conversation and it was 90-95% about them. ( adds mystery to you)

Try your best not to say " Me Too" when she says she likes something such as a band or type of food be creative and don't give her the answer every other guy does to force commonalities.
"She says she likes Coldplay"... you say "I personally like U2 a bit more this may sound silly but the music just gets me going like the song(you'll be using a band you like so drop a song that everyone knows here) it makes me just wanna dance but cold play is a good band."

I'm not trying to give you lines to say just an example of how I talk to females in my everyday life i.e. work, the street, friends, new friends, and everything in-between.

the thing to remember the most is your body language and facial expressions will give you away every time so being 100% honest is your best bet in whatever you choose to talk about.

Best conversation to get into is their dreams, goals, childhood dreams, and how close are far they are from each one of them.

well I hope I have been helpful if anyone has any questions or want to ask my anything shoot me a message if I can shed some insight I will good luck to you all
 littlelynx
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 9
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 1:28:12 AM
I'm confused, I thought this was ask a girl forum?

I think you should approach girls as a gentleman, but also make it clear that you are attracted to them. If you make a girl feel sexy, classy, smart, and awesome, you have her out of the friend zone.

Being funny is charming too.

The guys that get me roped in on first approach usually compliment me and say something funny.
 lovesametc
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 10
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 1:59:06 AM
Thanks Littlelynx , well in case of funny approach I am super good in That,

I just need to learn how to make girls feel that i am sexually attracted to them ( in a nice way )
 littlelynx
Joined: 9/28/2009
Msg: 11
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 2:07:47 AM
Tease them and poke fun of yourself as well.

You have to flirt with them in a playful but respectful manner.

The main thing is to make a girl feel comfortable right away. A warm greeting works.
Hello hows your evening, or whatever...

Compliment her but make it easy for her to react...best by being funny,
you have beautiful eyes,
I keep catching glimpses of my goregeous self in them...

Try to be easy going and natural mostly.

It's in ya, just don't try too hard :)
 c_deyoung
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 12
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 5:16:39 AM
It all essentially boils down to the fact that you're too nice. It's not that you're too friendly, it is that you are too "nice". In other words, you come off as a shoulder to cry on, a person that is there in time of need, a person who can offer advice, etc. This is what happens to nice guys all the time - they simply get friend zones because, while there may be physical attraction, the personality doesn't match the physiological composure.

Nice guys (which you apparently are one of) tend to do the following...

1. Shower the female in question with compliments.

2. Try to play the white knight, essentially attempting to save her from being hurt by other guys.

3. You are a total pushover. In other words, you allow the female to be dominant, and not enforce dominance.

Despite what women say, they don't want a man who is too nice. Any, and I mean ANY woman will say that they want a "nice, sweet and caring guy", however, they want that guy with a back bone... not a spineless schmuck who can't stick up for himself.

Try being that guy. Stop trying to be friends with all of the females. Men shouldn't have a huge concentration of female friends. I don't. I have one or two female friends, and that is only because I didn't pursue anything more than a platonic, friendly relationship with them in the beginning. If I tried having sex with them, and they just wanted to be friends, then that would not be okay in my book. I moved on from those types.

The only men with high concentration of female friends are either too nice, or are homosexuals (sad, but true).

I wish you luck.

 brad29483
Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 13
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 5:59:59 AM
^^^^Yeah dun be a nice guyz, be an azzhole, take a club and beat one over the head with it!!!


There is no nice guy, there are guys who hide from their true intent. Women are much better at sensing guys through body language, be yourself, this will work better than any "be an azzhole" tricks.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 14
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 8:24:15 AM
Don't listen to what most women say they want -- listen/watch to what they DO, and what they gravitate toward. You're at a lot of parties and bars and such? Great. Observe. Befriend a guy who does get that... watch. Follow patterns.

There's literature on the stuff, but beware of too over-the-top stuff. Essentially, you have to have more of an alpha-male quality about yourself -- showing characteristics of such and putting that part of you forward... not an act, but it may seem uncomfortable if your comfort zone isn't there and believe that women want friends (aka friend-zone). You have to garner their interest, not merely to have an exchange of words.

Go to Barnes N Noble, and leaf thru sections in there -- you'll find the right stuff. The main thing is, is to change your mindset of your demeanor in small but important ways.
 Dorkvader27
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 15
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 8:53:30 AM
I don't know any women that will have interest in a guy who parties 6-7 nights a week. That sends off numerous red flags. How do you have time for that? When doyou sleep? Do you even have a job?

No offense but I mean if you don't have job you're essentially taking 99% of women out of the picture. Unless you're insanely wealthy and don't have to work.

At best a partier like you might get an occasional one night stand or maybe a fling that lasts a short while.


As for what you're doing wrong and why you're not getting anything or stuck in friendland I have no idea. I'd have to see what you do in person and what you talk about.
 GothamCityBoy
Joined: 6/9/2011
Msg: 16
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 10:51:06 AM
Well first you gotta decide if you're ready to retire as a player and hop into that.....GULP.....committment prison !

Let me know what you decide !!!!
 c_deyoung
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 17
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/8/2011 12:40:39 PM
I never said anything about being an ***hole, I just said that he should have a back bone. This is why he is ending up in the friend zone, because he is too nice, which is a quality that 95% of women find unattractive.
 lovesametc
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 18
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/9/2011 1:54:09 AM
Dorkvader27 please read my second reply from top, I go out during week days because of my work, I am working a marketing manager, I have to go out with my over sea client, sometime for networking , have been more than 15 countries and i am the second senior person in my office , so i am dam good in my job, with in 3 years of work I got 3 promotions .

as above said its hard to believe for a party person like me wont get girls, well get , i had many one night stands but now i feel like to getting one for long and this is main prob as if I like someone i become very nice to her , so its me either i am super nice or supper as___hole .

i have been done with these short relations even in these short relation i cant call her my GF . infact i never had a serious relation in my life and never thought about it before.

but now feel like to have a person to whom i can have quality time, and this make me super cautious when i approach to girl, being acting nice i end up as frnd .

i am working on that hope soon i will take out a middle way
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 19
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/9/2011 2:03:28 PM
You may need an entity to take over. like Buddy Love..
Fake it til you are convinced you are not friend material yourself.

Have some fun reading this one.

http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts14010468.aspx

You have competition.

I like good eye contact and a confident walk and voice.

If I have a drink in my hand that is low..start talking and if I pay attention back..offer me one.

Notice if I like extra lime......most won't.
 NarcissusTemple
Joined: 4/23/2009
Msg: 20
how to start conversation with girls in party
Posted: 9/9/2011 6:49:59 PM
Girls love to be rescued.

Conceal a small strip of toilet paper in your hand and walk up to chosen girl.

Bend over and put your hand by her shoe and let the toilet paper unfurl from your hand.

Say, "Here, let me get this embarrassing strip of toilet paper off your shoe."

She'll be indebted to your face-saving gesture and talk to you for the rest of the night.

Your welcome.
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