Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > He's not making an effort to knock my socks off      Home login  
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
He's not making an effort to knock my socks offPage 1 of 1    
well, I think that you must tell him about what you think, because if you don´t feel fine whit the sitation the relationship don´t will work, and maybe when he know how you feel he can change.

sorry for my english.
good luck
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 3
He's not making an effort to knock my socks off
Posted: 9/8/2011 12:13:08 AM
I get the feeling that, that just isn't part of him so, if that's you want, I would either keep on looking or ask him if he likes what you're wearing and when he says yes.just mention that you weren;t sure as never says anything.
He's not making an effort to knock my socks off
Posted: 9/8/2011 12:36:36 AM

We have been seeing each other casually

it sounds like his behavior is consistent with your relationship. you want the stakes to be higher, and you're waiting around for him to raise them. do it yourself.

I feel like I do my part, I think I compliment him and make him feel manly and sexy.

this is the problem with unspoken quid pro quos. people have this obtuse way of not holding up their end of the bargain you made for them.

Should I tell him I would like to be wooed and swept off my feet


My friends tell me he's just dense and young.

if any of my friends dared disrespect a woman i was dating like this, they'd get an earful.
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 10
He's not making an effort to knock my socks off
Posted: 9/8/2011 12:39:38 AM
Lynx - He may be giving all he's got and you just don't know it. You can't really know how hard he's trying, but I find it strange that any man even close to your age doesn't know a few gentlemanly gestures like opening doors or bringing flowers and candy -- SOMETHING that at least looks like he TRYING.

You have to TELL HIM that you like and want these things. He may refuse to do it, but he may not know you want all the frilly and silly romantic cliche's. Walk on the beach in January when the dead crab husks wash ashore, and all that rot!

You have to train him - sad but true.
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 14
view profile
He's not making an effort to knock my socks off
Posted: 9/8/2011 2:42:16 AM
This could just be how he is

It could also be how he is "with you" which will be partly a reflection of how you are and partly to do with how he is as different people bring out different sides in a partner

It could also be that he IS doing some of this stuff, but your own insecurities mean you need more of it so the bits he is doing will go almost unnoticed as the amount of ego boosts a woman needs vary massively from none at all in very secure women to almost constant adoration in less secure ones with every variation in between too

It could also be that he thinks this is just a semi casual almost FWB type thing and is just going with the "friends" type behaviour when youre not acually rutting and that is infact how what you described came across at a first glance

But irrespective of which might be the cause you actually need to be having this discussion with him, not a bunch of strangers, many of whom might have their own collection of issues

Fingers crossed he has just misread what type of interaction you wanted and was just trying to stick within those confines

Worst case, trying to get him to "change" isnt a good idea, and if he didnt just read the type of relationship you were having wrong then it could just simply mean youre just not compatible
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 17
He's not making an effort to knock my socks off
Posted: 9/8/2011 3:39:52 AM

The funny thing is, he doesn't do all the traditional gentlemanly things.
Pick up the tab, walk me to my car, tell me I'm beautiful, open doors, serenade me, etc.

so are you doing the traditional feminine things for him ?

as in washing his clothes, cooking dinner for him, cleaning his house ?

have you catered any to him or expect it all to come your way...???

seriously - with all the ""independent"" women these days who don't ""need"" men for anything....should they be able to do all these things on her own ?

it seems to be a dying art on both sides these days.

try doing more for him and he'll likely wanna do more for you as well..
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > He's not making an effort to knock my socks off