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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Great 1st Date! Or was it?      Home login  
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 HopeFloats4Dana
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 1
Great 1st Date! Or was it?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
So I went on my first real dinner date with a very nice gentleman last week, and we both talked for hours, so then he drove me home and we gave each other a hug and just a quick little kiss; then he went home writes to me very nice compliments and I write back and thank him again for a wonderful dinner. And thats the last I heard from him!!!!!???? What is the problem?
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 2
Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 8:12:06 AM

And thats the last I heard from him!!!!!???? What is the problem?

Could be he knows your husband.. Could be you were the 4th dinner "first meet" he had that week..
Could be just the usual suspect outcome of a "first meet" from online that usually goes nowhere...
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 3
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:47:53 AM
Typical from those that do not have the guts to tell you in person that it is not going to work and this is why!!

To many, to often, do not want to hurt the others feelings, so they wait and then just hope you go away.....as if that does not hurt, or make you wonder why.....

I think at the end of the first meet and greet, the two of you should be honest with each other, and then either set a time for a next meet and greet, and who will contact whom, when, where, and how, or say take a day or two and let me know how you feel after taking some time to reflect on it all.

I have been with those that I told within the first hour or less, no chemistry, not seeing the connection, or I am far from what you are looking for. I have been with others that could be good friends, but nothing more, and those I will let know that we should continue as friends and see where it goes, and those that I would enjoy knowing much better...

Maybe if you take the approach of just having more friends, and not looking for Mr. Right, things will turn out differently......or just expect nothing and enjoy the experience!

cd.......
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 4
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:55:41 AM
As stated in post #3 by motown.... that pretty well covers the possibilities all around.....

possibly also consider changing your hairdo to something age appropriate to attract a different type of guy as an option
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 5
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 12:03:19 PM
You're separated and "your kids are your life" might be a reason.

Or he's not hungry.
 weathervanes
Joined: 3/31/2010
Msg: 6
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 1:51:53 PM
Your height is listed as 6'3"......was he shorter than you?....that and being "separated" could be the reasons for no more contact.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 7
Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 1:52:00 PM
People change their minds all the time.
Sometimes the actual date is a let down from the
anticipation of the date. Sometimes you say something
and it gets remembered later and it's a no go.

Did you know that poster thing you have on your profile
has spelling errors in it? I hope you didn't pay money for that!
 little bit dizzie
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 8
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:48:36 PM
Speaking of that poster thing you have on your profile, that screamed to me soon as I read it that you aren't over somebody, so perhaps this also came accoss on the date. I'm surprized that he went on date to begin with after reading it. It is very nice words for someone who was involved and wants back with you, not somone who has just met you.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 9
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 2:57:13 PM
Well how long has it been?...


I write back and thank him again for a wonderful dinner


Could be that whatever you said there through him off.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 10
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/12/2011 10:49:33 PM
OP, other posters have covered most of the possible reasons why a second date hasn't happened. I'll focus instead on what you can do in the future to improve second-date chances. (For our purposes here, a first date is not the same as a meet-and-greet, although you should do what you can there to encourage a follow-up call for the "real" first date.)

First, let him know during the date that you are interested in him, and that interest might be romantic in nature. Sit close to him, take his hand, tell him how much you enjoy being with him.

At the end of the date, or before if you feel like it, kiss him ... more than once. Don't tell him how much you enjoyed dinner and stop; tell him how much you enjoyed being with HIM. Make that last good-night kiss one that he will be thinking about all the way home, and into the next day or two. Whisper "call me" into his ear just before he leaves.

If he had a good time too, and your good-night suggested better times to come, he will call you soon and ask you out again.
 HopeFloats4Dana
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 11
Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:08:09 AM
Hey at least I am honest!
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 12
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:10:09 AM
I guess you don't wanna follow up with the info. Fair enough! Good luck on the next one!
 HopeFloats4Dana
Joined: 3/19/2011
Msg: 13
Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:24:50 AM
Ok everyone! Thank you all for your advice! I will chalk it up to a learning experience....for I attempted to contact him all possible ways. So u r right, maybe it is my hair lol, or my separation, or something I said or didnt say! But its ok, I am not in a hurry. But if he happens to read this forum; then thank u again for a nice evening.....good luck to you. Best wishes for both of us! And good night everyone from POF! U opened my eyes......
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 14
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/13/2011 1:28:45 AM
Well I like your hair

I have regrets for relationships that ended early or relationships that didn't end well.... but never for the encounters before ever really dating that fizzled out. It was really no fault of you or him. At least I wouldn't give it that much thought. No biggie. It's to be forgotten :)
 SthrnButtrfly
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 15
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/14/2011 7:40:51 PM
I just recently went on my first date from here. We had a great time, talked alot, etc. We also kissed a few times but when we got back to my house he wanted more. I reminded him that I wanted to get to know someone before hopping in the sack. He said ok. The next nite he instant messaged me and asked me to come over to his place. I wasn't comfortable with that and suggested he come over to mine later that week for dinner. I hav'nt heard from him since. Its been a few yrs since I have been on here and I am realizing that no matter how honest I am about what I am looking for and NOT looking for , alot of these men are still looking for sexual flings!!!
On a lighter note, I have been emailing with someone else and after we talked for a period on the phone last week, I hadn't heard from him and thot oh my, I must of overstepped my boundaries somewhere. Finally I took a chance and emailed him the other day and said I would love to have him over for dinner. He came over for breakfast this am and we hit it off great! Never know.
Either they are interested or they are not. I for one do not go out with men who are separated because I don't want to be the rebound in their life. Maybe he just wasn't interested or changed his mind. At least he was polite and treated you respectfully until the end. Most men are not good at telling a woman they just arent interested. Good luck in your search!
 SthrnButtrfly
Joined: 10/17/2006
Msg: 16
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Great 1st Date! Or was it?
Posted: 9/15/2011 7:10:24 AM

I am amazed when women invite men into their homes when they are virtual strangers.



they wonder why these men are panting after them like dogs in heat? Sheesh. I would never, and I mean NEVER invite a man that I didn't know from a dating site to my HOME. What a good way to be a target for crime.


First off, I live in a LARGE apt complex. I had the first one meet me in the parking lot. He never made it to my apt. Secondally, the 2nd man and I have been talking for awhile and I trust him. He too met me in my apt parking lot, we went for coffee, then I had him over.
I am currently without transportation and an ex cop. I am also a good judge of character. JUDGE NOT LEST YOU BE JUDGED!!!! So dont put me in the category of men panting after me like a dog in heat!!!! TYVM
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