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 Jenesis26
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 1
What is going on here? Ex issues...Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
So my ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago (at that time, he told me it was a "break") and he cried the entire conversation. Since then, hes been all over the map...1st he told my friend that he loves me and wants to be with me, then 2 days later its "i want to be her friend again, and maybe it can work out later", to "we're done", and maybe can be friends later. (we were very good friends before we dated). Anyways, I found out the other night that hes "seeing someone" who is 19, (hes 31) and said to his friend that its "good for now". He got really mad at his friend for telling me, and he said "so am i supposed to sit around and be miserable?" and just we just kept texting me back and forth for like an hour. He told me that he still needed space, and that i didnt give it to him...and he still blamed me for everything that went wrong and said that "Im the one who hurt him" That was a few days ago. Anyways, I wrote him an email and kinda let him have it, and told him i wanted my stuff back, and heres where u can send it, etc. and I told him that if he wanted his stuff, to send me his address. Our mutual best friend (who is no longer friends with him right now because of his attitude, and wahts happened with us) also emailed him saying i want my stuff. He NEVER responded to my email, but he emailed the friend that " ive got her address, and i'll mail it to her, but i don't know when ill see it, because its at my friends house". Then the other night, he posts some vague, but happy status on facebook that insinuate how into this new chick he is. His friend said that hes prolly trying to get under my skin and that hes being a douchebag. What the heck do you guys think is going on here? any insight? if anything, i really want to be friends with this guy again, and i think time can heal all wounds. thoughts??
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 2
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What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:39:27 PM
Issues and drama, right?

Who cares why he does what he does and what he wants?

What do YOU want? You want issues and drama, keep him around. You want peace of mind and healing, stop all contact with him.

You say you want to be friends with him? Really? Why? He's certainly not acting like he wants to be friends with you.

Make a clean break and give it some time, and maybe things will settle down in the future, but right now I think you'll do best if you cut him off completely.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 3
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What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:45:11 PM
Thought 1: I invoke Yoda: "Date. Or date not. There is no 'break' ".

Thought 2: I can't imagine why you want to be friends with this guy, especially right away, considering his behavior. Along with that, I can't imagine why the first thing you did after he broke up with you wasn't to remove him from Facebook.

Thought 3: Be prepared to not see your stuff again. Don't leave your stuff with someone with whom you are not sharing a place.

Thought 4: No contact. No texting, No Facebook, No nothing. There's a reason why they call it "Breaking up".
 Lots_of_Love_2012
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 4
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:47:05 PM
I think your ex is "an ex" he is not making any moves in your direction. The sooner you realize that the less heartache you are going to face. You are the one in this situation trying to read anything you can into the situation that indicates he is not over you ie. the conversation with the friend, the facebook status; its not about you anymore. Instead of "mo ving on" sounds to me like your hangin on. Its desperate sounding and I am pretty sure its not going to end in a reconcilliation based on what you have written. Every single person has regret when they break up with someone and second guess; sounds like thats what he was doing with the friend in their converasation. Its not an indication in any waya that you should hold on or keep your hopes up, unless your desperate. He obviously is not responding to email and he does not have to justify his new play toy to you by text or otherwise, you are not together any more. Don't prolong your heartache: "he is just not that into you" anymore. Its over. Move on. He has. Best of luck.
 gentleplus
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 5
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What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:47:21 PM
Run Forrest, RUN !!!!!!
 Spider_Woman
Joined: 7/18/2011
Msg: 6
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:48:21 PM
At best, he sounds conflicted. Next best, feeling guilty for what he did and looking to distract/redistribute the blame.

Sooner or later you'll see that who people really are is reflected most accurately in how they act. It'll get easier after that.
 sweetness-one
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 7
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Posted: 9/14/2011 4:50:42 PM

What the heck do you guys think is going on here? any insight?


No mystery. He broke up with you (excuse me, wanted a "break") because he wanted to go boink some 19 year old girl. In the meantime he hoped to keep you on the back-burner.


if anything, i really want to be friends with this guy again, and i think time can heal all wounds. thoughts??


I think it might be wiser to find a better choice of friends than Captain Fantastic there. What's the appeal anyway? He broke up with you to go boink a 19 year old girl, but wants to have his cake and eat it too, hence he's angry his friend told you about her. I don't know about your ego, but mine would have me telling him to go pound sand.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 8
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:51:48 PM
Didn't you post on this already?
Regardless...Let him go..not worth trying to make someone like you!
Sheesh....
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 9
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:51:51 PM
Go have sex with ALL his best friends.

Go buy new things to replace the ones you left behind.

Go buy a new pair of shoes.

Treat yourself to a day spa.

Change your number, delete him from your facebook.

Start dating again.

I'd invite you over but I'm not one of his best friends so sleeping with me won't bother him :( but its the thought that counts, right lol

You're beautiful, you won't have a problem replacing him.

Just let time pass without ANY contact via phone/FB/friends... but until you can let go of it and walk away ALL you're going to do is argue/fight and be miserable and angry with each other until something really bad happens.

Be mature, walk away. Now.
 Jenesis26
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 10
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:57:20 PM
I'm really trying to get over this, but I do honestly dwell for a long time. I just don't get why he was mad that HIS friend told me about this girl (from what i know she had a MONDO crush on him, and he is lonely and miserable, etc. easy target) He knows how much I want my stuff back, yet hes draggin his feet- its simple- go over to his friends, get my stuff, put it in a box, and mail it. donezo. but he responded to my friends email that she sent for me asking for my stuff, but not mine. I have apologized a ton, and his friends have told me that he wants to be friends again, just give it time. I know he was/ maybe is still really hurt by what happened.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 11
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 4:57:28 PM
Does it really matter "what" is going on here, other than you have a piece of work that is now your ex?????? I know these are matters of the heart, but holly molly, you have a brain, so I would suggest using it, and understand exactley the type of person your boyfriend,,,,,,ummmm, ex is. He IS showing you RIGHT NOW!!!!!

Look,see, understand, and try not to redo.
 The1Artist
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 12
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 5:02:26 PM
Well without closely observing him personally and his current behavioural patterns, my thoughts would range from him being either a previously undiagnosed Bi-polar schizophrenic who is now having some severe mental "issues", or secretly (or not so secretly depending on your personal knowledge of him) on a lot of serious not-so much-over-the-counter "medication" to cause this form of behavioural turmoil that makes a tsunami look like a droplet ripple.

As for maintaining a friendship, well, politely put, unless he seeks some serious medical and psychological help immediately to resolve the causes of this emotional rampage, before any long-term damage is created, my professional advice is that you will have just as much luck maintaining a friendly friendship with brain-damaged, steroid-enraged, rabid, pitbull going through heroine withdrawal.

Who also hasn't had his morning coffee yet....

So in mathematical terms, the probability is quite slim....
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 13
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 5:22:18 PM
31 seeing a 19 year old?

*shrugs*

Maybe you just found an emotional midget

P.S. Tall; do you actually respond to any boards with anything but personal attacks? Ever?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 14
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Posted: 9/14/2011 5:35:44 PM
There are plenty of other guys out there that like drama too for you to find.

The best revenge is living well.

Those are the thoughts that came to my mind. Sorry I don't have more. Drama shuts my brain down.
 Landra2
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 15
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Posted: 9/14/2011 5:42:49 PM
Sorry but I see a Drama King and Queen crowned at the next prom.
Let it go and make new friends besides a whackadoo 31 year old man.
STOP emailing him.

PS
They have lifes on sale at Wal-Mart this week.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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Posted: 9/14/2011 6:02:02 PM
Yeah, he's got some young stuff and seems 19 is about his mental age anyway and other than getting your stuff, which I would do quickly and maybe with legal help so he can't accuse you off anything, then forget you ever knew him, don't talk to him, don't text him, and don't talk to friends about him, just move on quickly.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 17
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:07:13 PM
i think you should just find another guy. flirt with loads of guys here on POF. am sure you can find several. am tired of dramaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! damn all these men who's into drama.
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 18
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Posted: 9/14/2011 6:21:37 PM
OP, he got tired of you, or thought the grass was greener elsewhere, or something along those lines. The new girl (who may have been in the picture earlier than you knew) is much younger than him, which flatters his ego. She's different in ways that excite him, including in bed (or just less experienced and easy for him to teach/mold as he wishes). His buddies are probably impressed that he has someone so much younger.

But it probably won't last, and in the back of him ind he knows it. He's going to enjoy it while he can, and if he can somehow keep his foot in your door he'll do that too; maybe, he thinks, he can get back with you if/when his new toy either dumps him or becomes boring. His attempts to delay returning your things (assuming he still has them) or picking up his own items is that "foot in the door". Until everything is returned, in his eyes it isn't really, completely, irrevocably over.

Tell him you want your things back by a certain date -- he can bring them back if he wants, or just let you know where to pick them up -- and he has until that same date to reclaim his belongings (provided you get your things at the same time) or you will toss them out. If he doesn't act by the deadline, do a housecleaning and write off your unreturned property as a small price to pay for getting rid of him.

Don't consider remaining friends, and make sure he knows it. A friend would have returned your items when you first asked, instead of making excuses.
 RandomScause
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 19
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:24:33 PM
This was a good story, Original Poster. I also like your username -- sorta literary. (Jen, as is.) (Where it all begins.)

So. I think you've inspired me to write a short story on this theme. If you send me a token email here on PoF, I'll send you the story when it's finished. If not, then I'll post it on the writer's forum here.

Thanks for the inspiration.`1
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 20
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:33:38 PM

Didn't you post on this already? ... Whiskyrivers


I was reading this and thought is sounded familiar.
I guess the last time you posted it, it got deleted?

31 with a 19 year old.


And you want to be friends with him again?
For what reason?
 shakeitupbaby2012
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 21
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:36:44 PM
Can you manage your romantic life without your friends?

Just because they share things with you, it does not have to go further than you.

Contain it by not sharing any negativity with your friends in regard to the ex-

or even go there at all except to get to a positive place in your life.

THAT is pervading this issue---or even turning it into one.

Here's what left of your post if you remove the drama and the friends who you're
allowing to get involved:

"So my ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago."

Get going with your life.
 scottey63
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 22
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What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:36:48 PM
If you're trying to get over this, continuing to haveng contact with him isn't the way to do that.
 maggieinsd
Joined: 7/27/2011
Msg: 23
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 6:45:05 PM
Save the drama for your mama...
 SweetLady95
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 24
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 7:07:58 PM
Why are you still friends with him on Facebook? Why do you still want to be his friend right now? Maybe years from now, but the break-up is still too new to even think about a friendship with him. Right now you need to just delete him from FB and start the process of moving on.
 Jenesis26
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 25
What is going on here? Ex issues...
Posted: 9/14/2011 7:21:00 PM
Yeah its pretty much pointless. I don't know why he didnt want to end this thing nicely, or apologize to me, or just exchange things and be on good terms. Still the blame game, and still the bs games. And he was my friend for years- I definitely NEVER expected this out of him. I guess you just never frickin know a person until you date them. i know he has been depressed the last few weeks- he gets like this seasonal depression thing...WHICH SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RED FLAG IN THE 1ST PLACE! :P
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