Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > California  > Playing hard to get.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 2
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
She could simply no longer be interested.

Playing hard to get with flirting is one thing. That can be sexy. Playing hard to get with drama and games... no thanks.

It's a pretty vague concept and honestly I am not even sure what it means.

But if she's not answering you back and she doesn't have your number. I think she's playing 'impossible to get'.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/15/2011 9:56:49 PM
That's because you view rejection as a bad thing.
It's a good thing.


It's such a confidence killer. If they dont pick up, they dont want to talk to you. Simple as that. Just how I see it.


This is how you should view it.

They don't pick up. They don't want to talk to you. She was never the girl you wanted to be with. Next.

It's part of the screening process. Simple as that.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/15/2011 10:53:08 PM
It's totally rude and not fair, but listen, there is no such thing as hard to get. When someone is wishy washy or unavailable, it is exactly what it is and nothing else. I don't think there are games involved. It just means they are not interested or at least interested enough. I don't believe in being chased.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/15/2011 11:24:46 PM
There is no such thing as hard to get. Don't you guys understand? They - are - not - hard -to - get. They are simply not interested and for whatever reason they are not telling you.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/16/2011 11:56:44 PM
This is not directed personally at you but I have to disagree.

For sure some people have the need to feel desired but acting like you're not interested does not get you what you want. They know it too. Therefore, if they were really interested they wouldn't play games. Only insecure, immature people play games. There is a difference between teasing and ignoring someone just to make yourself feel better.

Wanting to be desired does not boil down to games. That's something people do consciously and it is not fun. I don't have fun making someone wait, guess, confused, worried, misused etc... Do you? I have never met anyone who wished someone they were in to would not return his/her phone call, or wait to call back on purpose... or whatever you mean by games.

Maybe I'm wrong and women do play these games. However, this is exactly the reason why men think we like to be chased. This is also the reason why some men don't take no for an answer, which is a major turn off.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/17/2011 8:29:24 PM

I think you took my words and ran far far away away with them.

When I said "some people" I didn't include myself and whether it's right or wrong it happens. PEOPLE in this world do it. So if you come across these kinds of people take it or leave it. The choice is yours.

The want or desire of being wanted and desired doesn't boil down to games (I'm pretty sure I did not express that.)

What I meant by "games should be fun for both parties" that's exactly what I meant. Actual games. IE: board games, video games, puzzles, etc.

Sorry about the confusion?


As I already stated I wasn't directing my response to anyone particular and I really meant that. But I'm glad you clarified your stand anyway because there is different kinds of games and I did in fact think we were talking about the kinds of games related to the subject.
I don't ever find myself in situations where I have to chase a guy or where I feel the need to play head games. But I do get annoyed when people say I'm hard to get instead of taking responsibility for their feelings of rejection. I was only trying to explain that if a person doesn't chase, there can never be anyone hard to get. So yes, take it or leave it instead of labeling it "hard to get."
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/18/2011 9:59:10 AM

I get irritated and show my feelings on my sleeve.


OK--but do you think that helps you? I think you're on to something with not worrying too much about mean and rude people. They're sort of like potholes--you know the road you're on has some, so when you spot one, you just steer around it and keep going.

You might want to think of dating more as fun, and try not to make too much out of any one success or misfire. Thinking of it that way, not so personally, would probably make you enjoy the whole process more. And even better, you could find it makes you even more attractive to guys than you are.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 9/18/2011 11:00:03 AM

I totally agree with you. I think it is rude, plan and simple. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you say call than answer the phone. If you say next week at eight. Than it should be next week at eight. I hate people that keep you waiting.
I get irritated and show my feelings on my sleeve. Than people say I am crazy cuz I get mad.
Just be real and honest. I mean real honest.
Because I have real feelings that get hurt. If I call a dog and they don't come to me I get my feelings hurt.
Than again I think maybe it is God trying to tell me that I need to keep and not worry about the mean and rude people
I have to hang onto the thought that someday my honest, loving man will come along.
Keep the faith there are just so many you got go thru to find the one


You got it all figured out. There is nothing wrong with recognizing and acknowledging your feelings. I'm more worried about people who point fingers at others and get bitter instead of owning up to their feelings.
 fra59e
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 20
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 11/9/2011 8:50:39 PM
HappySS says:
"There is no such thing as hard to get. Don't you guys understand? ... "

Some guys do. You are so right.

My life has always been filled with wonderful people who give me pleasure. I have never chased anybody because I refuse to consider women as prey. Good people worth having in your life don't buy into silly old-fashioned conventions and they don't play games. I have desires and express them, and expect others likewise to have desires and express them. Sometimes there's a match and sometimes there isn't. C'est la vie.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 23
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 11/11/2011 11:59:34 AM
There's a big difference between playing "hard to get" and plaing impossible to get while leading someone on.
 wooliepack
Joined: 5/10/2009
Msg: 24
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 11/14/2011 11:35:54 PM
Mostly women call it "playing hard to get". Men call these women FLAKES. You have to tune your approach to prevent flakes. It's a problem outside of dating, too; I run into it on the job also. It requires setting boundaries and establishing respect.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Playing hard to get.
Posted: 11/20/2011 9:36:51 PM

You should just call the cops.

Show ALL Forums  > California  > Playing hard to get.