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 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 2
what changes after the first or second meetPage 1 of 1    
Whatever the case really is, aren't you glad that you didn't continue dating the ladies with the drama? I mean, really. Not wanting something serious is not wanting it with you, sorry to say, and the one who commented on her last relationship being bad was telling you this so that YOU would not insist on another date. Don't take it personal. The women you aimed for have preferences and you do not have what they are seeking. Does this mean you suck at dating? No. It just means that you are going to go back into the pond. Look, most of us have had 2 or 3 bad experiences on here so don't take it too hard.
 firedupdesire
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 3
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/16/2011 10:07:16 PM
Make the most of it my friend.

Don't look at it from a negative perspective, put a positive one on it. I'm going for a world record in first dates. I'd say at 26 with close to 100, I'm well on my way. :)
 hoyos
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 4
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/16/2011 10:33:06 PM
^^^
Maybe after another 100 you might be a tad closer to that long term relationship you seek. Yep, a legend in your own mind.


As already stated, it is a process OP. Be prepared to wade thru a lot of losers, bs and disappointment until a winner comes along.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 5
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/16/2011 11:44:43 PM
OP, online dating sites are notoriously tough on fragile egos and uncertain self-confidence. Over time, I've watched many people here do a pendulum-swing from 'what's wrong with me?' to 'what's wrong with them?' to either confusion or disillusionment. Please don't let yourself fall into those traps.

As I've said in another forum post, oftentimes people don't know exactly what they want until they see it. They may not be able to identify exactly why the person doesn't seem to be a good match; they just know the two personalities or lifestyles don't gel right. Similarly, when the right person comes along, they mesh so seamlessly that both know for certain in their minds and hearts that they've finally found 'The One'.

Self-evaluation to root out any problems you might have but not been aware of is always a good idea. But keep in mind that as long as you are a good person, with a healthy attitude towards women without being naieve or a 'mark', in time you will probably pair up with a good match for you. The two elements you need to keep at the forefront are belief in yourself and patience.

Also, realize this is but one possible source of mate-material. Before Internet-based dating, people met in person, and people are still 'out there', same as you are on a daily basis. When the time is right, if you don't lower your criteria, you almost certainly will find someone right for you.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 6
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/17/2011 3:40:17 AM
What it is, is people just do not want things serious with you. It happens on here. Sure people want the same * thing * but it needs to be mutual. People seem to think on line meetings are some sort of guarantee just because of what is written in a profile. Well, that is NOT the case. What you are experiencing is normal. This is the internet. You cannot rely on e mails, phone calls, and texting to then meeting and having some instant love life.

I used to meet guys on here who * appeared * great but in person and spending time with them? Hell no. LOL They were not at all what I wanted to be with.
 SweetBearies
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 7
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/17/2011 11:07:16 AM
Dating is truly like fishing, it sounds like you have taken the time to learn the type of fish you want, you have put out the right bate (photos and enough information about yourself) You have even gone the extra mile and got a fish finder so that you can locate the size and kind of fish you want (talking to the woman and getting to know her a bit).

You may get a smaller fish then you want on your line, at which case you throw them back and wait for them to grow and you will catch them next year.

This is no different for woman, they too have learned the type of fish they want, they have put out the right bate (photos and enough information about themselves)

Since the general ratio is 1 man to every 4 woman, (they have been reminded of this day after day by other woman in their life) may pull in the smaller fish, think it may work if they don’t catch anything bigger, they put the fish into their bucket, a little while later they realize "we'll that fish isn’t the kind or size i wanted" then they throw back.

Dating is a process and takes time to learn how to do just like fishing. When you go fishing though normally there is a catch to be had, but if both people are fishing and hook each other’s lines, a lot of times those people take a moment to laugh with the other person, chat a little and then go back to fishing. This is a normal process regardless if you are fishing online or in a small pond like your friends circle, or your local grocery market attempt to talk to a woman.

1st lesson I was taught by my dad when fishing, be patient.
 firedupdesire
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 8
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/17/2011 2:27:44 PM
200 isn't a record to me man, I'm going for 10,000. 10,000 is my goal.
 hoyos
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 9
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/17/2011 3:54:18 PM
^^
Guiness may be interested .
 firedupdesire
Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 10
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/19/2011 1:01:46 PM
I hope so ricard2908!!!

I'm in contention with Jon Arbuckle!!!
 sans_titre
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 11
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/19/2011 3:29:58 PM
Its just normal dating behavior. You meet and get to know someone and then you decide if you want to see them again and so on and so forth. I have had a record number of first dates as well. Most were good guys, perfectly acceptable on paper but for whatever reason there was not enough mutual interest to meet again. Some of them I still chat with on POF or am FB friends with so its nothing I or they take too personally.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 13
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/19/2011 10:54:54 PM
Are you being up front with people, are you dropping bombs around the third date that you think will be smoothed over, because they have gotten to know you?

Be up front about who you are, if your interested let it be known, don't try to win people over by being someone your not, and take a look at your picker.'
Otherwise it is natural to date a few people before you find your someone that you can jive with for awhile.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 14
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what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/19/2011 11:24:31 PM

In the past 5 months ive met 3 especially who i was quite delighted with and from every idication i got they was with me.


I'd say you're doing pretty well! Another 5 months and you will have 3 others. One of these months you'll find one that just works
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 15
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/20/2011 1:54:53 AM
Just sit back n relax OP. ... you could be doing worse. ... You say you're getting e-mails ... There's enough guys on here who say they never get any responses back. ... I sense you might be expecting too much. .... I've been on n off these dating sites. .... tons of first and second dates ... one 9 month relationship that didn't pan out .... and I find myself here again. The biggest difference this time round for me is I'm just much more relaxed about the whole "wash, rinse, repeat" cycle ..... just let it take its own course. If after 1 - 2 or even 3 dates and nothing comes of it -- simply shake it off and move on to the next fish.

... Who says dating was easy? .... BUt you know what? .... When you've met the right one -- it sure won't be so hard either. .....

.... From reading these forum posts it seems too many people are hoping & expectating too much too soon.
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 16
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/20/2011 3:36:13 AM

what changes after the first or second meet


Usually there is an increase in desire to be with each other.


i dont want anything serious


If she says that, then fine. Just have sex with her. If she doesn't want that, then walk away.


my last relationship was bad,


If she says this once or twice, fine. But if she keeps mentioning this, then walk away.


disappearing happened


This can happen. And this is why you should always meet /date at least 3 women.
Dating is not exclusive, and if one bails you always have another on speed dial.


Someone please tell me this isnt normal behavior


No. This is par for the course, and you're bound to find some more creative ones later.
 4evablessed
Joined: 7/19/2010
Msg: 17
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 9/20/2011 4:12:25 PM
Every woman is different. There are woman who may like you in the begining and then lose interest and use the line "I'm not looking for anything serious" or the flipside of it, woman who truly only want to date. I would establish in the beginning with any woman you are interested in what your looking for and what they are looking for in return.

The disappearing act unfortunately does happen...it is what it is. Obviously, she was not into you, although you were into her. It happens every day. You would hope the other person would be mature enough and state how they feel, but everyone can't do that and they do a Casper on you.

Have faith and keep it moving until the right one comes along and stays...

LL
 DarkChyk
Joined: 2/28/2012
Msg: 18
what changes after the first or second meet
Posted: 3/16/2012 11:40:26 AM
Sounds like karma to me.
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