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 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 2
when to have sex..Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I guess i am one of the rare women out there that don't give it up for free


are you serious ???

most all women give it up thinking there is an exclusive relationship at the other end of it !!!


very few women actually give it up for free.

believe that !


and you want us all to believe that you never have given it up easily ?

nothing wrong with it necessarily....just wondering.

because your attitude on this thread seems a bit pointed
when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 12:55:31 PM
I dont really understand that either. If your not looking for a realtionship why waste both of our times and act like you are just for a little piece of ass. It drive me bonkers! On the other hand I date a guy for about 4 months and he never even tried to cop a feel that was kinda weird.

If you wanna sleep with me your gonna have to put in a bit of work. So no your not the only one.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 4
when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 1:48:22 PM
Have sex when YOU feel like it.

Simple.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 5
when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 2:05:23 PM

a) even though they say they want a relationship, they are just looking to hook up

There are guys and girls like that, but you also are over-looking something... some people want a relationship but not necessarily with YOU. One keeping their eyes peeled for relationship opportunities does not mean they're in relationship-or-bust mode, and will turn down anything else when on vacation or meeting someone they find attractive but not matchable in the long run.

people seem to think that talking online for a week makes you instantly connected and its totally appropriate to try to grope me, and try to get in my panties in the first 10 mins

If it's that blatant and happens a lot, then during that week you need to be a better judge of character, and at the same time, not to lead guys into that. Sure, that type of thing will happen with enough guys, but if guys are being that swift & quick with you within the first 10 minutes or something close to it, then you're doing something wrong -- just sayin.

I guess i am one of the rare women out there that don't give it up for free, are there still any gentleman out there who can respect a girl for having morals?

Having sex "too quick" isn't a moral issue any more than eating pork or eating meat on Fridays is. Your problem is getting yourself into situations that's on an extreme scale like that... don't talk about sex, negative or positive when emailing a guy... If/when the topic does come up so early on, swing away from it and mention that you aren't comfortable having sex too early on and don't like talking about sex. If he hammers the topic, don't meet him. Of course, you know what that means, right? You will limit your meetings with the better looking guys.
when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 2:21:37 PM

I guess i am one of the rare women out there that don't give it up for free,

If you wanna sleep with me your gonna have to put in a bit of work.

this transactional thinking is what will get you played. when your pvssy is up for barter, you can be conned out of it, like any other medium of exchange.

why do you think so many guys are professing their undying love and wish for exclusivity before they even meet you? counterfeiters know that's the coin that perfectly fits the slot of women who think this way.

have sex or don't have sex, it's your call, but know that women who have sex only because they want to don't fall prey to these kinds of cons.
 wilddflowerr
Joined: 9/18/2010
Msg: 7
when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 3:20:56 PM
I sware by not having sex until you decide to date ONLY each other.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 9
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when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 8:01:29 PM

a) even though they say they want a relationship, they are just looking to hook up


Right. There are plenty of men that lie about their intentions. Many women doing the same. Nothing else to be said about it. Don't play the blame game. Just be weary of this fact and be careful.


are there still any gentleman out there who can respect a girl for having morals?


What moral would that be exactly?
 smokincigars
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 10
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when to have sex..
Posted: 9/18/2011 8:39:25 PM
Jill2882,

You are young, and you are on POF; both are things that some men will interpret as suggesting you can be "had" easily regardless of what you say in your profile. But there are other men who will actually read your profile, respect what you say, and genuinely want to meet and perhaps date you.

But keep in mind that most people use use sites like this one ARE interested in sex, even if it isn't their primary motivation for being here. And men in general are more interested in sex early in a relationship than are women in general, although there are plenty of exceptions in both sexes.

If a guy tells you he wants sex before you even meet, or during the meet-and-greet, or during the first couple of dates, then obviously he isn't right for you; move on.

If dating goes well and turns into a budding serious relationship, you will have to decide if he's moving too fast and if you might be ready soon (but not just yet). Then talk with him, and see if he is willing to wait, and how long.

If you intend to hold out for a ring, say so in your profile and don't date anyone who admits to having other ideas.
 DrumminD
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 12
when to have sex..
Posted: 11/22/2011 3:59:38 PM
All men try to get in the panties. If you can hold them at bay long enough, they either get pissed and disappear, or they fall in love. If you want love, you can't take your panties off. Don't get mad that they want you to. It's part of the process.
 Pingshooter
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 13
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when to have sex..
Posted: 11/23/2011 3:00:12 PM

Not only are you expected to have sex on the first date, but they also expect you to pay for that date as well.


COOL

Wait..why is that little guy rolling around laughing?

(aDuh moment passes...)

Nevermind...sigh
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 14
when to have sex..
Posted: 11/24/2011 12:37:18 PM
I think the men who want sex right away should be a huge red flag. The reason being that if the guy is VERY much into you and looking for a long term relationship (aka: Yes you are hot enough and worth being a keeper) he would be willing to wait and take things slow. If he just wants a quickie because he can't get anything better at the moment he will try right away not to waste time and or money.

Just some thoughts..
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 15
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when to have sex..
Posted: 11/24/2011 12:59:17 PM

I guess i am one of the rare women out there that don't give it up for free


I dont think thats quite as rare as you think

Did you email them a price list before meeting though?
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 17
when to have sex..
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:29:16 AM

I guess i am one of the rare women out there that don't give it up for free,..


The key word here is "free". I am not saying girls should just jump in the sack after the guys buy her a cup of coffee, but the issue I have is that they want to be our equals yet make the guy "pay" vs. "free" to have sex with them like its a piece of merchandise. Does the OP not ENJOY sex to? Is there no pleasure from it? Then she may wonder why the guy doesn't call her again.

This issue is much deeper than just asking "when to have sex"...
 diamddeb
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 18
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when to have sex..
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:37:35 AM
Gosh Peter,
A whole eleven minutes.......lol

Seriously, what happened to mutual consent? I didn't think it was about "giving anything up" I thought it was a mutual taking.

hmmmm
 diamddeb
Joined: 9/15/2011
Msg: 19
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when to have sex..
Posted: 11/25/2011 9:42:49 AM
I guess I am one of the rare womenout there that don't give it up for free......

I agree with John that this makes it sound like merchandise. Free?? really?? Sounds like hooker mentality. Do what YOU want, no pricetags....
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 20
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when to have sex..
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:34:42 AM

Give him a smack upside the head and immediately leave, its that easy.



I wonder how people would have reacted to someone giving that same advice to a man when faced with a woman doing something he didnt want


The "give it up for free" statement is the most relevant part of the header really

It defines a potential outlook and mindset that will quite possibly permeate a persons entire outlook on life, sex and relationships in a subtle way

And reinforces the fact that ALL interpersonal relationships of any type or level are infact a "trade" of one thing for another

Each person sets, or is indoctrinated into setting a relative value for what they class as their own commodity and then guages that against the commodities the other person has to offer.

But in that particular instance it tends to suggest that they dont view the other persons participation in having sex as anything like "equal" or even of value, so they see the "trade" as being their participation in sex being exchanged for a different commodity from the other person

This isnt new, its just that the exchange rate changes over time
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 21
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when to have sex..
Posted: 11/26/2011 5:43:36 AM
Knickers, lol????
 john_in_bh
Joined: 12/25/2004
Msg: 22
when to have sex..
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:38:37 AM

I sure hope these other women don’t charge for it.It`s only sex,some women actually enjoy it and don’t look at it as a price.


Sadly at least where I am, girls do put a price tag on it one way or the other. Even if they enjoy it to, it does not matter. They are always looking for marriage for the reason of having (more) financial security. Guys have caught on, and are looking at that aspect more and more regardless how much they are "in love" with their merchandise. If they are not looking for marriage (or can't get it) they will want high priced gifts and a (nice) roof over their head.

The few girls that are out their not demanding everything in exchange for sex and their valuable companionship are the ones that can't get that for reasons of not being in high demand from the guys..

Of course this is a generalization, because there are always a few exceptions to everything.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 23
when to have sex..
Posted: 11/26/2011 10:50:53 AM

This isnt new, its just that the exchange rate changes over time

Funny, but sadly a true way to put it. Not all women, but most women following the status quo, see it that way, because that's how most are brought up (and guys brought up looking at it that way too unfortunately).

I think women who put things in the perspective of "putting out" or "not giving it up for x-y-or-z" just reinforce the perspective of what they don't like -- guys looking at them like objects -> to approach women to "get" something, and women to tout power by "not giving 'it' up".
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