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 DanTheGreat
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 1
Breaking the IcePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Whats the best way to break the ice on a first email? I usually start with my name talk about a common interest and invite for a dinner. but.... 95% of the time comes unresponded.... is there a better way to break the ice?
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 2
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/19/2011 1:01:32 AM
Subject: I wish I was a fat penguin

Message: They always know how to break the ice...
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 3
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/19/2011 1:03:02 AM
You're kidding though right?

Invite for dinner in first email?
 carmensimone
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 4
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/19/2011 1:17:17 AM
Say something off the wall in the subject box to grab her attention.
Then go with the flow from there. Maybe something silly or very odd
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 5
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/19/2011 7:29:05 AM
Whatever you do, DO NOT just say "Hi" in the subject line and nothing else.
And also, don't invite someone to dinner in the first email. Gives off a creepy vibe.
Just say something like,

"I really liked your profile. I also like "insert hobby here". Take a look at my profile and let me know if you'd like to talk. -- Your Name
 SweetBearies
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 6
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/19/2011 8:49:57 AM
I personally like to laugh so I love getting a single line or two of something that makes me laugh, and a third line of Check out my profile if your interested message me back.

I would also change your main photo, it is blurry even though it is silly woman wont look at your profile if they cant see your face, the pic of you in the blue shirt is a good one.

What ever you do DON'T ask a woman out before having a conversation with her first, it makes you sound desprate and creepy.

The best opening message I have ever got was a guy who said:

You like hiking me too, until last summer a group of us guys came upon a rattle snake on the trail and all the guys in front of me started screaming like little girls, but I am willing to try again.

I like your profile your very interesting, please check out mine and let me know if you want to chat.

 msluvstreet
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 7
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:15:50 PM
Yea, I for sure would say no asking to dinner first email and NOOOO Hey sexy or How was your weekend? I never respond to those messages! Be creative! Remember that us girls get lots of messages so you want to say something that will make you stand out.
 Rabbitman49
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 8
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 9/26/2011 5:50:37 PM
I used to send "a line" or a joke or something, but that got me nowhere (zero responses). All I do now is simply say I'm interested, and that doesn't seem to work either of late, but has worked in the past (although only twice that resulted in first dates). Therefore, I don't think that which is said makes any difference anymore. Am I wrong?
 BigEddd
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 9
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/3/2011 12:51:39 AM
Keep it simple. Say hi how you doing and throw in something with a common interest you both have. Less is more on your first email.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 10
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/3/2011 10:30:03 AM
realize I'm too old for you other posters but ... I didn't get to be this old without learning quite a few things ...

this not necessarily directed to any one of the previous posters ... and definitely not to the Original Poster ... but ...

when a person sends an e-mail, it's my opinion that BEFORE opening the e-mail, most women check out your profile ...

and ... if your profile is FILLED with NEGATIVE comments about how you've never met anyone but tramps, scammers, etc. on this site ... or how you WILL NOT do this, that or the other ... and how you are too good to do this, that or the other ... how I'm not a meal ticket to be taken advantage of ... and how, if you come with children from a previous marriage, don't expect ME to CARE for them ... ! etc. , etc. ...

again ... just my humble opinion ... but I wouldn't even waste my time opening the e-mail ... doesn't matter WHAT the e-mail says if the profile is filled with anger, meanness ...

duh ...

 TheBetterChoice
Joined: 9/28/2011
Msg: 11
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/3/2011 3:20:19 PM

It doesn't matter.
If they don't like your photo, it won't matter what you say.


That's not completely true. While pictures serve as a temporary first impression, sometimes it really does matter what the person says.

For me, if a guy can't even write out anything intelligible, that's the no-go to begin with. I don't need a bunch of grammatical and spelling errors right off the bat, nor do I need "text speak" with the shortened 'u r cute want 2 talk' crap. Even the "Hey sexy/gorgeous/beautiful, what are you up to?" or "How was your weekend?" simple one-liners aren't going to cut it, they're so cliche and make you sound like you can't think of anything else better to say. Also, making fun of the girl or putting up jokes that are otherwise lame, probably not a good idea either. I find that if the person simply seems genuine and really taps into what you wrote on your own profile, makes for a better start. I'm not talking about writing a long-winded essay or anything, but it really is nice if they truly seem interested in getting to know you for you, and not just for what you look like. Sure, looks do factor in, but they're not everything!
 statesshapes
Joined: 6/11/2011
Msg: 12
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/3/2011 3:38:44 PM
Who cares if asking for dinner is considered creepy? You can write the best of emails, with even greater subject lines and the women still wont respond. All that matters is the way we look.
 TheBetterChoice
Joined: 9/28/2011
Msg: 13
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/3/2011 3:51:53 PM

All that matters is the way we look.


That's such a bad generalization. Not everyone on here is image hungry. Looks do play a big role on here -- I admit I've based a few responses solely on a person's image, but to say that looks are the only thing that will get you noticed is incorrect.
 SweetBearies
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 14
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/6/2011 9:38:40 PM
Statesshapes
That is simply not true...
It maybe your perception but... I would rather be with a man that is a 5 who is on the same level with me, than be with a man who is a 10 and dumb as door knob or who has the hot body. When the looks fade what else is left?

Your issue maybe that you didnt add a lot in your profile or that you put "Transition" as your career. If your sleeping on a friends couch then a woman doesn't see that you have much to offer. Same with the details of your profile.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 15
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/6/2011 9:46:32 PM
^^

Good luck convincing him otherwise. Many the people have tried, including myself. That is his mantra.
 dogatron
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 16
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/11/2011 5:12:57 PM

That's such a bad generalization. Not everyone on here is image hungry. Looks do play a big role on here -- I admit I've based a few responses solely on a person's image, but to say that looks are the only thing that will get you noticed is incorrect..


POF is all about the looks, i talked to a lot of girls on here that said so.. if the guy is not good looking or even funny and they're not attracted to him, they'll stop responding..
 psytle
Joined: 3/7/2011
Msg: 17
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/11/2011 6:22:13 PM

Whats the best way to break the ice on a first email? I usually start with my name talk about a common interest and invite for a dinner. but.... 95% of the time comes unresponded.... is there a better way to break the ice?


The common interest is a good start, but the invite to dinner in a first message is a huge no-no.

Ease off the throttle and wait to see if she's even interested in replying to you first.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 18
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/12/2011 12:53:33 AM
POF is all about the looks,

Actually the site design is quite ugly. I speak from a position of authority since I am a web coder/designer.


i talked to a lot of girls on here that said so..

They said so lol

So the girls you singled out with your personal criteria in your specific geographical region, of the MILLIONS of women on PoF, some how represents what the women on PoF think??? hahahaha.


if the guy is not good looking or even funny and they're not attracted to him , they'll stop responding..

Maybe I misunderstood this..but why would a girl want to be with a guy that was not funny? Unless he is Batman, I just can't see the motive there...

You apparently are a part of team "Brad Pitt is a Greek God". Yeha that's the losing team bud.

Attraction is so beyond the box you're trying to smash it into.

Yes hot people are considered hot because most of the world agrees they are hot. They are nice to look at. So what??

So what. Why not just acknowledge there is such a thing as "hot" and understand that people are born that way without the choice to be so? Yes hot people tend to be attracted to hot people. That's biology, and it's out of our control.

Do you REALLY think ONLY "hot" people form relationships with each other??

Christ... Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie better stop adopting or else the entire Human race will perish!!

There is so much more to attraction then your looks, and if you are not willing to take the initiative to understand why then you don't deserve her.
 TheBetterChoice
Joined: 9/28/2011
Msg: 19
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/12/2011 7:13:52 PM

There is so much more to attraction then your looks, and if you are not willing to take the initiative to understand why then you don't deserve her.


Thank you!! :)

Yes! - someone else who thinks that there is more than just physical attraction on here... :)
Sure, it may be the picture that initially gets you noticed, but it's how you present yourself or how you respond that can make or break a connection.
 TheBetterChoice
Joined: 9/28/2011
Msg: 20
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/12/2011 7:16:42 PM

Use a catchy subject line like 'Me too!!!'. You'll spark the curiosity. Always say something that acknowledges you've read their profile and that you have something in common. Hopefully, you have something more in common than watching Grey's Anatomy. I like to leave a question regarding their hobbies like 'What beach do you like to walk on in Bakersfield?' hahahaha jk!!! I think all people are compelled to provide answers to questions they know the answer to. I figure a SIMPLE, unintrusive question gives the person a place to start if they decide to email you back.

I honestly think your picture is the ice breaker.


I agree. Well said.
 MotoGPatrick
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 21
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/13/2011 2:46:45 AM
I was born and raised in Minnesota. I think I have caught fish in a tuxedo.

Read over her profile, consider common interests and come up with something funny based on that. Every time is different and sometimes it takes a while.

Looks are not everything to all people. It does seem they are most of it to most here in so-cal and this is amplified online. I do think there is something to having a main photo that makes you look as good as possible and looks like a high quality head shoulders shot even in a small search thumbnail. Perhaps the small image looking good and high quality enough that they want to see how good is the needed nudge to get them to click and view your profile. Only when they do that can they see more than looks.
 truffleshuff
Joined: 6/8/2011
Msg: 22
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/15/2011 8:49:23 PM

Whats the best way to break the ice on a first email? I usually start with my name talk about a common interest and invite for a dinner. but.... 95% of the time comes unresponded.... is there a better way to break the ice?


Let's see my history here...

I have responded to:
- intellectual first messages that actually took interests off my profile and brought it in comparison to their level on that interest
- interesting grabber like "hey..... i think my friend knows you" - so a little interest is peaked on my end

And I have not responded to:
- phone numbers to "get to know you better"
- profiles that have sexual interests listed
- "hi, how are you? i'm _____, nice to meet you."

As for writing about a common interest... I hope that you are writing a really great story that comes with it.
 Mojomixer
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 23
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/20/2011 4:11:07 PM
I think your missing the point though, It's not if your "GOOD" looking, but whether you have the "RIGHT" look, I.E. not the right look = no attraction.

Perhaps you could make the argument that after getting to KNOW someone it's possible to become attracted to a person that you weren't initially attracted to, based on looks alone, but online you don't get much of a chance for that to even happen.

Ultimately, I think this comes down to the fact that there's no "recipe for Success".
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 24
Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/21/2011 12:10:51 PM
In regards to the "looks" issue...Cosmo Magazine...which most of us can agree talks a LOT about sex and relationships, recently conducted a NATIONWIDE "IN PERSON" survey of 1,000 men and the results showed the following:

Men who rate themselves and other men a 5 feel they are worthy of a woman they rate a 10 (think Johnah Hill with Angelina Jolie)

Men who rated a woman's looks stated that only a woman of 7 or better deserved to be with a man rated a 10.

It's in this month's issue (the one with Niki Minaj on the cover). Just food for thought.

It makes sense since men are the more "visual" of the human species that this would be the case. As a woman, however, I happen to agree that if you are good looking but a couch surfer or unemployed, it's not gonna happen. Neither will it happen if you are not attractive (a 5) and uber-rich.

However, if you are attractive to me and have a decent job (think electrician or something else along those lines), and you seem cool, I'll probably go out with you. If you come across as a pompous or self-important it doesn't matter what you look like or how much money you make, I won't respond.
 Mojomixer
Joined: 2/8/2011
Msg: 25
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Breaking the Ice
Posted: 10/21/2011 1:21:57 PM
Wow pompous or self-important that sounds like a familiar trait I have along with,
arrogant, megalomaniac, god amongst men, bringer of life, grand poo bah of the order of the self involved. I also can't forget, superior short order cook, and I long time republican, OK maybe not a republican....
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