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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Safety #1 Priority!      Home login  
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 1
Safety #1 Priority!Page 1 of 1    
How many of you go out to meet people solo? Im scared to death to go out to meet some guy I know nothing about by myself. I've mentioned to a few that want to go meet Ill be bringing a friend with me and they tell me to forget it ... so I do. How many of you go out and whats your experience been?
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 3
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 9:45:28 AM
Wow didnt quite expect the response from the asian chick. I did meet one guy at a Starbucks by myself but seemed more like a business meeting. My friend and I met another with a few of his friends for drinks and we all had a good time (and we all pitched in when the bill came) Ive had problems with stalkers and a few very aggressive men (none from POF). Curious if any one else has these concerns ... maybe this sight isnt for me Id like to hear from other women as well as men.
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 4
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 10:06:59 AM

Im scared to death to go out to meet some guy I know nothing about by myself.

sounds like online dating is not for you....

I'd tell you no way in hell my darnself...

r u kidding ?

are there NOT lots of other folks where you 2 are planning to meet ?
Joined: 2/7/2010
Msg: 5
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 10:36:24 AM
Well, I have been doing this on and off for a few years and as of today I have yet to have any issue with my personal safety. I do however have a very keen early warning system that is also know as a gut feel. If it doesn't feel 'right' then I don't meet that person. Also I always meet in public places and drive myself, until I feel rather confident that they are on the up and up, but it will never been 100%, nothing in life is unless it is death or taxes.

Of course there isn't ever a fully fail safe strategy; people everyday are harmed by people that they have known for a long time. Just use common sense and let someone know when and where you are going to be. If you are fearful to go it alone then perhaps dating much less online dating may not be for you. You can't get anywhere if you don't stick your neck out.

Good Luck
Joined: 9/13/2011
Msg: 6
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 10:37:08 AM

How many of you go out to meet people solo?

Always. That's the point of dating. To get to know someone. Not a posse.
Not to be guilty of being a rapist murderer until proven innocent.

Im scared to death to go out to meet some guy I know nothing about by myself.

Holy crap.
You must never leave your home then.
Because whenever you step out your door, there are people you know nothing about alllll around you.
Especially while driving.
Tons of people you know nothing about driving multiple ton vehicles at killer speeds, all around you.

You must have a bomb shelter too.
Because tons of people you know nothing about have absolute control over nuclear weapons that are targeted at you at all times.

How do you have time to date living on a farm? Otherwise what do you eat? Because people you know nothing about grow the food you consume.

Phsew. I don't know if I could live like that.
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 7
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 11:14:16 AM
if you are insecure and uneasy about a first meet from someone on here, then these are your options:

always meet in a very public place like coffee shop

have a time limit of an hour to talk and LET A FRIEND KNOW before and after the meet. Im going in, im finished now.

I dont beleieve in bringing a friend. To ME thats rude, and the ppl cant really be themselves becasue they are being "sized up". Im here to meet THEM AND THEM ME not my bodygaurd. However if its mutally agreed its a group setting like pub night ect, i guess thats ok, but still you dont get the opportunity to have a more intimate chat and get to know. Like the others have commented if you are too frightened to meet up ALONE then its obvious the online thing isnt going to work unless you have a huge bodygaurd named BALL BASHER by your side all the time.

I try to talk first several times by email, move to the phone then hook up within a week if schedule allows. That way the ice is broken first.

have my phone at all time handy, and make sure im in a crowded starbucks.
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 12:16:06 PM
You meet people you don't know every day, unless you are hiding in your home and never go out. Of course it's good to be safe and if you don't want to meet without a friend then don't but also don't worry about the guys who don't want to meet you that way, they have just as good a reason not to be along with two strangers as you do with not wanting to meet one stranger. Most people aren't out to murder or rape you, and if they were, having a friend along wouldn't usually stop them. I'm thinking that online dating isn't going to be your thing but you are no safer dating your best friend's brother than you are dating someone you meet online.
Joined: 3/25/2010
Msg: 9
view profile
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:05:25 PM
OP, I'm going to assume that you are talking about a get-to-know-you meeting and not an actual date. For a meet in a public place with other people around, you probably don't need to bring anyone along -- or at least you don't have to let HIM know a friend is sitting a couple of tables away keeping an eye on you. I have never had a problem with a woman bringing someone along, but to date only two ever did. I suggest you have your friend walk away (while keeping an eye on you) as soon as you arrive and stay a short distance away during your meeting. Under no circumstances should the friend sit with you, much less take part in any conversation, until the meeting is over; neither of you need the distraction of a third party.

An actual date is a different matter entirely. That is something you should not go into until/unless you feel comfortable being with the man by yourself. A first date is not a time for double-dating (unless they are MUTUAL friends), and certainly not a time to have a friend or family member tagging along.
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:14:49 PM
Did you mean your friends would be on the date with you? Would you feel more at ease just having friends in the vicinity?

You could have your friends show up a few minutes before/after you're supposed to meet and pretend not to know you. Problem solved.
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 11
view profile
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:25:13 PM
OP, the first internet-based date I went on the woman asked me if she could bring her daughter with her. It was to an ice-cream shop and I am dairy intolerant, so I had to even bring my own sorbet. All three of us hit it off and it was a very fun time. I highly recommend you continue with your limitations. Admittedly you will have fewer dates, but you will know that the ones you have that the person is willing to accept your boundaries.
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 12
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:29:39 PM
Surely there is a place/pub/restaurant where you have been enough that some of the staff know you by face if not by name.

YOU pick the place and time.

Get there a few minutes early so he doesn't see your car or meet you outside.

Make it a meet and not a date so you can leave within the hour.

Preferably before dark.

Have a gf sit near by and give her enough for a drink ........
If he is "Creepy" look up and say "OMG Sally!!!
Excuse me I must invite her over "..

Op, If a guy has e mailed you a few times and won't meet you where you are comfortable before an actual date..Don't meet him.
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 13
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 1:38:00 PM
Ok 1st off on my profile I have to just hang out casual dating I was married for over 20 years and its been awhile since Ive been out n about. That being said Ive gotten quite a few unusual emails from whats wrong with me how can a woman like you be single (not really sure what that means ) to marry me I will be your knight in shining armour. The weird and unusual of course get blocked. I dont want someone to take care of me I work and can support myself and my kids. Literally just trying to go out and have some fun meet some new and interesting people. Im not looking for a ltr at this point if I meet someone and we hit it off thats all well and good. So really just a meet and greet not a "date". I think some of these responses are interesting really, so judgemental and negative. I have met some really interesting people on here... as to wether or not this site is for me? LMAO more like the forums might not be the best place on this site for me! Really people this was an honest question with a real concern and yall just put me on blast bigtime!
 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 15
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 2:38:29 PM

on my profile I have to just hang out casual dating

Thats an invite to peek..


I recommend you take HANG OUT off your profile.

People often use that term to mean ANY number of things. Kapeesh?

I would NOT meet a man that had that as what he is looking for..

Hangout- casual dating. and YOU ARE MARRIED.

Are you serious? But you are scared of the kind of man you will meet?

Holy shitzball batman!!!

Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 16
Safety #1 Priority!
Posted: 10/1/2011 2:52:03 PM
1st peppermint petunia I love your hair!

Most of the men have been pretty respectable and understanding. Theres always gona be weirdos, and pervs.

Some of you women obviously havent had any bad experiences and I truly hope you never will. But know that when you give out your cell # it can be traced to your home address (yes even when you have it blocked also new smart phones show your location ) as well as your license plate. Always be aware of your surroundings and look in your rear view mirror frequently!
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