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 xHD1200x
Joined: 11/11/2010
Msg: 2
Getting over itPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Whoa, like she said she dont love you to be with you, why so hung up, you need to find a new bag man, dont get hung up over a peice of trash.
Hit the club and take a girl home, that always works!
 GizmoGR
Joined: 9/26/2011
Msg: 4
Getting over it
Posted: 10/14/2011 3:53:43 PM
Hey, it sounds like she was overall not into the relationship as much as you may have hoped she was.
Are you CERTAIN she is right for you?
As one example:

I heard about a month ago she was pregnant to another guy via a one night stand because of a rebound

That tells me one thing--she has unprotected sex with one night stands and doesn't care that it gets her pregnant. Or risking herself to STDs/STIs.

Do you Really want her my friend?
Or, is it an idea of who she may have been?

Writing does always help, and keeps the mind occupied.
Reaccess everything again--you say it was going somewhere, but if she asked for space it sounds one sided.
I hope you find that someone is better out there for you, and that in time this girl was just to find out what you really want in a partner--like someone that is Truly in the same heartspace as you.
 RotationAxle
Joined: 7/20/2011
Msg: 5
Getting over it
Posted: 10/14/2011 4:14:26 PM
I know from your perspective, you feel really hurt about all of this.

But reading about it from my perspective, I say you dodged a real bullet and a hefty child support payment

 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 6
Getting over it
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:35:28 PM

Its been very upsetting all because she is pregnant. It seems like a trigger.


Are you upset because she did get pregnant by you?
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 7
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History
Getting over it
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:41:16 PM
Sorry for your pain.
I know it is hard now, but you will meet another woman and when the time is right, you will have all the pieces fall in place. Her life is not your life. She is experiencing a horrible situation. Be thankful you are not a part of it.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 8
Getting over it
Posted: 10/14/2011 5:49:55 PM
You can make as big a list as you want of all the "good" things that happened,but, honestly, knowing what you know now, does it not eliminate that "good" list??????
 sorencxlce
Joined: 8/29/2011
Msg: 10
Getting over it
Posted: 10/15/2011 3:07:09 PM
every woman is unique and if you are dating someone that you find special, she will be doing and saying things that your ex never did. every relationship will have its pros and cons and they aren't going to all be the same.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 11
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History
Getting over it
Posted: 10/15/2011 5:00:26 PM
You will know you are ready for a new relationship
when all you think about is the new person
and how you can share yourself with them.

You will do new things and you will look back
on this and ask yourself- what was I thinking.

I know you are hurt because she is pregnant-
but... You have an opportunity to meet the
real mother of your children. A woman who
will love and cherish you.

It wasn't her. She is just and instrument to
show you what you really want. Your own
family someday.

It's okay to feel this way. For a while.

Just keep looking in the rearview and watch
her get smaller and smaller and a new girl
get better and better.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 14
Getting over it
Posted: 10/15/2011 10:12:31 PM
love sucks, man. i know. been there a lot of times. i am starting to hate love now. shit.
 Papinoir
Joined: 7/17/2010
Msg: 15
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Getting over it
Posted: 10/16/2011 12:15:56 AM
OP

Been there my man. All you can do is chalk it up to your guardian angel pushing you out of the way of an erratic, duplicitous, and selfish bullet.

Even though knowing that won't make you feel better until you really feel it in your heart, just know she's some other man's headache now. I mean really she probably was hooking up with dudes when you were on your training and definitely during her month-long "break" (something also tells me she was not impregnated just by one "lucky"/one-night stand shot) and even if she wasn't aren't you glad you don't have someone so reckless and cavalier with your emotions, at best, or insensitive and screwed up, at worst, as your lady and mother to your baby.

Let it go, and tell your wounded ego to chill. You got away clean, a little bruised, but clean.

Good luck!
 jypsee_soul
Joined: 10/14/2011
Msg: 18
Getting over it
Posted: 10/20/2011 8:41:00 PM
Well, My friend...if the new girl does anything different than theold girl...consider yourself lucky.

It is possible that you wanted an ideal situation with this girl...but was she the ideal girl??or was she just the one who happened to be around. Nothing about her behaviour..indicates that you were anything special to her. If you want to think that she loved you deeply..ok..but let me ask you.....if you loved someone deeply..could you do this to them? If you really want to believe that her mother played a part in this...is this what you want in your future??or the future of your kids??

It is what is is...this girl is not on any site asking for advice about her broken heart over you....gather up your self respect..and move on to someone who deserves it!!
 Drew21211
Joined: 11/18/2010
Msg: 19
Getting over it
Posted: 10/21/2011 12:48:07 AM
Its hard getting over someone when they are on your mind . I understand where you are coming from.I haven't figured out how to get over it yet but i'm moving forward one day at a time. I guess its kinda like being an addict and kicking the habbit.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 20
Getting over it
Posted: 10/21/2011 3:09:14 AM
Don't know what to do :(

Try being happy that she doesn't want you back to raise the kid she is going to have from that one night stand. If I were you, I'd probably wake up in the morning and say ``Thank you god,'' except that I'm an athiest.

Yes I guess I am upset she didn't get pregnant by myself.

Since she didn't, I assume that's because you weren't ready to have a kid, in which case, her getting pregnant would have been a mistake. Do you realize just how much of a responsibility a kid is and that once you get a woman pregnant, you've just signed up for at least an 18 year, full time job? Don't sign up by mistake.

Why would you do that?

When people start kissing, common sense usually takes a backseat, often literally.
 lotustemple
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 22
Getting over it
Posted: 11/7/2011 11:24:32 AM
Life isn't as random as you may think. However your relationship served it's purpose and is over. There's obviously more out there for you.

In the meantime, i know this sounds crazy but consider yourself lucky you heard about her new one night stand pregnant drama. It shows you how her mother still controls her life in a way that will always be destructive to a relationship. And since it hurts so much, that means you still have lots of pain left-over from the trauma of an unexpected sudden break-up.

Throw yourself into your feelings completely. Give yourself a week or two to mope around the house and whine about it. It's going to take longer but just give yourself persmission to mourn. Wear black. Cry as much as you can. Get drunk.

The sooner you face and release the pain, the sooner the peace will come into mind and soul. Therapists are great for this sort of thing, because traumatic sudden endings can be very hard to process all by yourself. I budgeted $800 for massages when my last relationship ended suddenly and the insurance paid for 4 months of therapy. Did me a world of good. Trauma suks!

Usually in this type of break up the other party goes overboard with how much they are in love with you whilst making other plans. They are covering up and over-compensating for their deceipt. They break-up when they are finally emotionally ready to walk away.....unbelievably self centered. Happens alot.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 23
Getting over it
Posted: 11/7/2011 6:31:02 PM
Ah yes, breakups are never easy but, there is another way to occupy your mind instead letting it wonder back to her.

Try to answer the following question “Who are you?”.

At first, you might think “I'm me” but who is that?

Your answer will permit you to look inside yourself and help you find your answer and when you have it, you'll be able to look at your life through different eyes!
 lookingforsophia
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 24
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Getting over it
Posted: 11/8/2011 10:45:06 AM
The philoSopher Plato said we all have 2 Horses pulling our Chariots.
It can be difficult just controling our own Physical Plow horse and Spiritual Winged horse, when each have varying motives. I find Carrot Cake works best for mine but some women's ponies just don't want the Calories. It does take Time; but as Kahlil Gibran's Parrot used to say ...

'The Cup of Joy deepened by sorrow
Holds more Juice come tomorrow
 missmarionette
Joined: 8/28/2011
Msg: 25
Getting over it
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:51:00 PM
The fact that you're writting absolutely everything about the relationship down is a huge sign that you're not close to moving on. You're self-triggering your emotions by reminding yourself of the relationship. The only true way to move on is to forget! I know it's not something you want to do, but trust me, you need to. You'll always have memories, of course, but to constantly sit and think about it is not going to help you in any way, shape or form.

Occupy your time with one of your favorite hobbies and try to get your mind off of her!
 kevinlovett1976
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 26
Getting over it
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:26:27 PM
you can sum it up a thousand ways, but i would ask myself, would it have gone down that way if she truly cared about me? Keep yourself busy. Keep the company of good friends. Eat. Drink(responsibly). and be merry. Better it ended after 16 months than 16 years.

Peace be with you.
 texsguy
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 29
Getting over it
Posted: 11/20/2011 3:38:34 PM
Dude, I feel you...Breaking up is hard
Hang in there
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