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 MiaCat74
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 3
why is it all about sex?!Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Isnt it always about sex anyways :)
Just some people are looking for sex and not overly fussy about getting to know the person, some people really wanna know the person before the sex and most people fall somewhere in between
In general guys seem to find it easier to have sex earlier
Girls (in general) prefer to wait and get to know them a little

So dating is the dance inbetween

Online dating just has more people hoping that if they put out enough hooks they can bypass the dance

But yup, its the world of online dating - possibly about 10% of the mails you get are worth answering, wry smile and if needs be hit the block button

Chat to the people who seem nice
and get out in real life too
 MiaCat74
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 12
why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/16/2011 11:34:03 AM
I Just had a look at your profile and although you look really sweet possibly photos of you sitting on the floor looking a little drunk wont get you the best attention
A great photo for you and your friends - but possibly not the first impression you want to make
 qedeshim
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 17
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/17/2011 4:38:01 AM
Well another way of looking at "just wanting sex" is maybe to look at the broader, deeper and introspectively superficial picture of the male psychology.

Firstly we live in an individualised culture, and being an individual sets one apart, purely through the nature of society we inhabit. We are part of and apart from almost simultaneously, and this contradiction, makes many feel a bit self conscious /insecure. Wanting JUST SEX is of course impossible, as one is always dealing with personalities, not just bodies, and such entities have opinions, likes and dislikes. If one wanted just SEX then anyone would do, from the young and desirable to very old and ************, which is not the case, as in general, as people are picky. So JUST sex has to be a personal delusion in most cases.

Most married women who find their partners just want sex, respond to this joyful demand, in the negative, as it naturally puts the women off, sometimes completely, to the point of separate bedrooms. So what is really going on in the mind of the determined and obviously confused male?

Could it be control? Well yes that might play a part.
Could it be pure self gratification? Well it could be, but laying back and showing disinterest does apparently effect the male pleasure somewhat sometimes, thus questioning the degree of selfishness and sincerity.
Most males are somewhat emotionally retarded, and the range of their feelings are therefore somewhat limited. It could be how they interpret their feelings that gets them confused, but in general they are all somewhat emotionally challenged. So wanting "SEX" for most males might be the grown up way of asking / demanding sweets from parents when they were a child. Given a sweet signified approval, love and much more, as parents teach their children simple conditioning responses, which they learn is the way to gauge the parental state of mind. So wanting SEX in the light of satisfying male insecurity, can be treated in three ways.

One can offer the possibility later, which makes the male subject calm down a bit and maybe open up and be friendly.
One can refuse outright which will make the adult revert to childish responses, in which rejection, hurt, whatever, provoke a defensive reaction, appearing quite often to be somewhat aggressive or offensive in reality.
One can accept immediately and be overwhelmingly immediate in agreement, pushing the envelope to its potential onto the male, playing the immediate game the male assumes it wants. Such an overpowering demand from a female far from igniting the pent up desire, firing the male's orientation, tends to have the opposite effect, putting him off, and sometimes frightening him, as all ideas of control, or even self control are drowned by a forceful external pressure. It becomes too easy, therefore must be something wrong, and other adult interpretations of childhood responses to parental offerings resurface. The female become a frightening control freak, and males, who have little emotional control in general, can panic internally.

So males are somewhat (in general) simple insecure creatures, with predictable responses within relatively confined emotional areas. Thus an aware female in order to get her way allows the male subject, of her attention, to believe he has a say in decisions, that in reality have been fed to him in a way he does not realise has happened.

So in conclusion, a male might think he just want sex, but being simple emotional retards, need to compartmentalise to reduce deeper feelings and emotions to simplify their little lives and understanding of life. Males, thus, can at least begin to believe they understand themselves, attempt to be content with who and what they are and have become. A woman should be able to run emotional rings round any male, as however sincere it might think it is, regarding expressing its (superficial ideas of) feelings, it understanding of its feelings has all the depth one would expect from well honed brains pickled from childhood in the puerile superficial realm of self interest.
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 20
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/17/2011 5:55:49 AM
I get the feeling OP is a little bit of a prude (no offence). You need to take it in your stride, laugh it off!!!!!

When did women start becoming offended that men find them attractive enough to bed?? It's all rather British, isn't it?

I get some rather pervy messages from women on this site, I assume a lot of guys do..... Do we complain? No we don't..... Why? Because we'd have the p1ss ripped out of us for weeks!!! lol
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 24
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/17/2011 8:02:35 AM
Wont this also be a bit dependant on the audience too?

If you first looked at a woman who was quite prim, then even the most innocent joke of a "sexual nature" like a passing double entendre would be seen as "talking about sex"

Someone who was heading towards being a bit frigid, had a very low sex drive would probably be even worse, and exponentially worse if they were also "prim" on top of their issues to do with sex

So what they would class as "men talking about sex all the time" would to someone more ordinary and with a healthy sex drive and more mainstream sense of humour not seem "sexual" in the true sense of the word, but would just be viewed as normal every day type interaction

Obviously the more attractive the complainer you then also have another common dynamic with intergender interaction kicking in, where some men who wouldnt mind bending her over the nearest ironing board will openly agree with her even if their actual view was that she seemed a bit too "victorian" in her outlooks

And some others will also agree with her hoping it might make them seem appealing to any other forum readers even though they dont agree with anything she says either

Its also not unknown for many women to try and present a very "prim" front on places like this even where it isnt "strictly true" too, to stand out from others and to display more appeal to less sexual, or more sexually insecure men

And then theres the ones who tend to use sex as a form of control and leverage trying to advertise themselves to men who are dumb enough to be attracted by that kind of manipulative women

So the reasons someone might think or claim this is the case are a lot more varied than it JUST being an acurate observation, and quite often its anything but acurate

But as any healthy relationship would (you'd hope) also involve fairly instant and explosive sexual chemistry too shouldnt it be more surprising if men didnt exhibit SOME sexual interest in a woman they are attracted to?

After all, its hardly an insignificant part of a relationship, especially at the start

And as "chemistry" (read lustful fascination) is SUCH an important thing for most women when first meeting someone its almost laughable they would be so defensive about it in the process leading to the topic of meeting


I wonder how many women would respond positively to mails along the lines of

"Hey, I find you totally unnappealing in a sexual sense but your profile seemed witty, intelligent and quite funny so do you fancy a chat?"

Is it really the case women want to assume the sexual fascination IS there, but just have a collection of problems or issues with it actually being made apparent?
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 25
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/17/2011 8:43:50 AM

Is it really the case women want to assume the sexual fascination IS there, but just have a collection of problems or issues with it actually being made apparent?


I think they want to believe they can induce it or "bring it out" of a man, rather than it being there to start with. If it's already there, then where's the challenge?
 qedeshim
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 32
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/18/2011 4:30:23 PM
Some men may have sex on the brain, like those unable to fill their stomachs because poor harvests, share an internal emptiness one being emotional the other physiological starvation. Both dream of either food or sex, because of the famine they feel they experience maybe.

A man with just sex on the brain, should remind a woman of experience, that selfishness never makes for a decent sex life or relationship. It could be said to change the sexual process from mutual masturbation between consenting animals, to just self gratification, thus ignoring the mutual element.

Men wanting just sex like children needing sweets, is a shared social delusion, predicated on urban fictions, strangely not shared by males in "traditional partnerships of tribal groups" in say hunter gatherer societies. Humans have lived these social groups for the last couple of million years or more. Rape is unheard of in such groups, as not a word for it, and the social consequences (if it existed) of such a behaviour would be social exclusion, a death sentence. So the developed, civilised, urban world, of the last 6,000 years where rape, and male sex drive are regarded as sole male preserves, with of course the added condiments sex with children for priestly orders and sex driven partners/husbands.

Civilisation has managed to repress female sexuality, where they have still not fully recovered from the conditioning. It seems that dogma has semi paralysed humanity in a fictionalised idea of the past, while pretending to interpret the never ending present we all inhabit.

Strangely those still living in what we might describe as the stone age societies, appear to demonstrate a method of social interactions more free for the individual, as they it appears have not been trapped in the fictions that dogma's subliminal and seductive messages seduce people into. So maybe the future should be seen in the light of our real history, and the evidence still evident by those still practicing social interactions relatively uninterrupted from time immoral, and Not built on the fictionalised alter of dogma, that the desperate sanctify with the emotional perversion, we recognise as faith.
 GuardianVamp
Joined: 9/24/2010
Msg: 36
why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/23/2011 8:37:21 PM
think alot of it is pof really started off a few guys wnated to date now it seems more n more come looking for "sexual encounters" maybe that's just my poor luck however lol


any one got some really good bait i can borrow? lmao


 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 37
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/23/2011 11:29:18 PM
all i can say is that by being here you are saying you are available, so even those that otherwise wouldn't give it a try might.
which of course is the very ones you want to hear from.
it will be the same in any singles club/bar etc.
put it this way would you expect the chancers to go to a club for married couples?
as soon as you indicate you dont have a partner, you're fair game for all.
from that point on it's down to you to sort the genuine from the chancers.
but if you dont indicate you're single and available, the only ones that are most likely to try it are the chancers.
aint life a b!tch :-)
 ibakecakes
Joined: 11/27/2008
Msg: 47
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/24/2011 11:48:17 AM
EEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek, I'm glad I'm not after a woman over 30 or a man over 60 in that case.......0 of them want it 4 times a week or more
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 53
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/28/2011 1:03:35 AM
"Try1more....I agree with the older man thing I had a playmate who is 49, would talk about sex but his sex drive just doesn't match mine."

now angel, i've read this a couple of times, but i can't for the life of me work out just which bit of my post it's in reply to????
the only thing i can say is, can you spare a bit of whatever it is you're smokin?
 ~Hams~
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 57
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/28/2011 8:00:49 AM
I'm getting fed up receiving so many messages
from women who only want me for my body and not my mind!
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 60
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/28/2011 10:50:39 AM
But thats so tacky ffrin, and lacks the element of surprise

Waiting till the bend over to pick something up ad trying the "TADA" approach breaks the monotony

Anyway ffrin, I dont want to be your boyfriend but........
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 64
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 10/28/2011 11:32:07 AM
Damn, I just checked the forums and because you agreed so quickly after only one post I cant actually take you up on it because

a) apparently it means youre not "nice" a "laydeeee" and according to some obviously have no morals, self respect and many many STDs

2) You didnt play hard to get till the 5th post

3) Because you agreed so quickly then due to the POF etiquette I would become the target of several thinly veiled threads accusing me of "only" being after sex (when I actually wanted a nice cup of tea too infact), being a "playa" a user, having no respect for women and only using them for sex

5) Has anyone seen 4? I could have sworn it was here a minute ago

4) Phew, relax, I found it under the cushion

6) it seems that this one would simply say "go back to 1) and repeat until eternity ends"


Damn, I was getting all excited too
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 66
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why is it all about tea?
Posted: 10/28/2011 12:11:22 PM
I'm not sure exactly how many "many many" actually is, my imagination kicked in and I drifted off with a vision of a bacterial gladiatorial contest with them all battling to the death complete with recycled atmospheric soundtrack

And obviously making my own tea makes sense, apparently you have to do stuff like that now to make sure nobody uses rohypnol

But tbh the stuff is pretty crap, I've taken it before three dates and didnt get laid once, so it doesnt seem to work as well as some people claim

And I shall treasure the aforementioned thread and add it proudly to the rest of my collection
 BobHaro
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 70
why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 2/20/2012 2:25:19 PM
Why is it all about sex...because 'relationships' are natures excuse to get us to have sex. whatever arguments, discussions, things done in the development of that relationship, the end result is sex.

You might just as well ask 'Why are restaurants about food?'


so If you seriously aren't interested in sex...try a restaurant.


Bob.
 Marquis_de_Michaelmas
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 72
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 2/20/2012 3:09:15 PM
Sex isn't the be all and end all of everything.
 BobHaro
Joined: 3/3/2011
Msg: 82
why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 2/20/2012 11:08:15 PM
Having slept on it. I could be flippant and say that we are all presuming the original question was about sex (men are after one thing) it could have been a cheeseburger.
Still, crap jokes aside, I do find it a bit humourously odd that a woman who is bombarded with requests for sex unwittingly starts a thread that turns into yet another sex discussion...hmmm.

Good blokes, bad blokes, sex sex and more sex...is it really that important that your cat is top of the agenda girls. You know guys want sex, but what really is important is what you have after the sex is done...

Do you have a slamming door

or do you have an attentive lover and partner by your side.

That's what is important....


Bob.
 Marquis_de_Michaelmas
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 85
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 2/21/2012 2:09:46 AM

why would anyone want to have a conversation about what they are wearing ???


If they were meeting up later and they didn't want to clash colours or conflict with casual/formal wear?
 stonecastle
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 88
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why is it all about sex?!
Posted: 2/21/2012 10:43:35 AM
Of course men are after sex. But usually they won't let on until after the third date.
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