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 S_Prime
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 1
Is it okay to date this girl???Page 1 of 1    
In highschool I had met this girl who I started talking too kinda a lot, and then my best friend at the time, noticed this, and talked about how attractive and nice she was, but not being****or anything about it.

A little later he asked if I'd mind if he started talking to her, and I was like, yeah of coarse man.

So in any case, he ends up dating her, and I didn't mind because I was excited for him to get such a hott girl. He normally wouldn't get with attractive girls so I was happy to let them date.

SO..

They dated for 3 years, but broke up, and now its 2 years late they dont talk, but we are starting too....

IS THIS OKAY?!?
 S_Prime
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 2
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/28/2011 11:19:09 PM
Oh also, Me and that kid were very close friends for 3 years.
 tigerspawn
Joined: 8/9/2011
Msg: 3
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:11:22 AM
Are you and your high school friend still friends? If so I would ask him if its okay. That is if you still want to be friends. If your not friends than date the girl.
 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 4
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:38:49 AM
i think its ok , may be you should tell him honestly that you are dating this girl but its up to you as some people cant handle some type of honesty :), more if he still have feelings for her it will be hard for him to to accept that
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 5
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History
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:42:20 AM
There are what 4 billion women in the world? It's not wrong no... but if he is your best friend then just do a simple Pros versus the Cons and put that list up next to the billions of women for further perspective.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 6
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:30:37 AM
Well, you are a very goodlooking guy. Why don't you just look for the other 4 billion girls in this world? You can easily get a hot chick who has all the wonderful personality you want. Seriously, she is NOT the only hot chick in this world. Seriously, she's not the only one who has the personality you have been looking for in a girl. Remember, you are cute. You can easily find other girls.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 7
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:37:41 AM

They dated for 3 years, but broke up, and now its 2 years late they dont talk, but we are starting too....

IS THIS OKAY?!?

That depends on how willing you are to give up the possibility of dating someone you might really hit it off with. Finding someone who's a good match is difficult, so I wouldn't pass up the chance to find out if is.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 8
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:44:19 AM

IS THIS OKAY?!?
I think you are sweet to be concerned about this, as well as how you handled the whole thing in the first place.

I'm curious though.. does he know about you and her now?

He gave you the respect all those years ago of basically asking your permission to date her, it might be nice to offer him the same sort of respect now. Especially since they had a 3 year relationship..
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 9
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:46:39 AM
Lets see now. BEFORE your friend asked this girl out he asked YOU if you were ok with it FIRST. And you had not even gone out with the girl at the time.

Now your friend was in a relationship with this girl for 3 years. Obviously emotionally involved with her. But instead of showing your "friend" the same curtesy he showed you years ago and ask him how he feels about it. You come asking a bunch of strangers in a forum instead. You even go to the extent of telling us he really isn't that good a friend anymore to make sure the majority will side with you.

Your friend treated you with respect when he asked you how you felt about him dating this girl years ago. Don't you think you owe him the same respect he showed you?.
 Orgulloso
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 10
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 7:53:30 AM
OP,

Most of us have the "guy code"; if one of our friends (not acquaintances) dated someone and even after they break up she's essentially off limits man. I had this come up recently with one of my "boyz", he had a whirlwind romance with this mutual friend that we both found hot. Like any whirlwind romance it eventually fizzled out, but we are all still friends.

She and I get along very well, we speak, text and have great fun on a platonic level. She knows that before she hooked up with my buddy that there was attraction there, at least on my end. Now post "break up" I find myself speaking with her more frequently and we've mentioned maybe having an occassional meal on odd weekends when we don't have our children. But, would I sleep with her? No. Just wouldn't feel right.

Yeah I know I might get flamed on this post but it's who I am.

G
 4everRadiant
Joined: 1/16/2011
Msg: 11
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 10:32:07 AM
"I didn't mind because I was excited for him to get such a hott girl. He normally wouldn't get with attractive girls so I was happy to let them date."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Haha! The not so tacit implication: *He* wouldn't normally get with attractive girls... but *you* would! Ego can be an amazing thing. Too funny.

and then there's the "so I was happy to *let them* date" instead of to "see them" date.
How gracious of you "to let." LOL!

Anyway, so is it okay to date this girl???

Well, your friend apparently went from being your "best friend" to "that kid" so it doesn't *sound* like he's necessarily your best friend anymore. Even if you're not best friends anymore you probably still have contact or some level of friendship or you wouldn't be concerned if it's "okay"... you wouldn't feel concern or guilt about it.

Seriously, whatever level of relationship you have at this point, see if you can manage the same respect he gave you. If he's okay with "letting you" continue to date her, then great. If he's not, that shouldn't be a problem because it sounds like you're quite confident you can and do attract "the hotties" anyway
 gw3ex
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 12
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 10:44:42 AM
No and I mean no!!!!!!!!!!!! It's not OK. What happens if it's the other way around more likely u wouldn't like it so it's not OK:)
 gw3ex
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 13
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 10:53:44 AM
U r right with that more respect for doing that:)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 14
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History
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 11:56:41 AM
Has she ever had any interest in dating you? How does she feel about this? Is she involved at all in your decision to now date her. What does she think about being passed to each of you as some prize?

Yes, he asked your permission so you should ask his, but personally, I wouldn't go there at all.
 FS67
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 15
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:11:30 PM
Ignore all the posts by girls on this matter.
This is Guy Code. You know this stuff.

1) You can not date your friends girl friend, ex-girlfriend, or mother without asking them first.
Unless... a) he is not a friend anymore and is dead to you. If you see him on the street you would not even say ""hi".

If you are still willing to date this girl remeber what could happen:
a) You will be dead to him
b) You can end up loosing mutual friends
c) You may get your butt kicked - and he'd be right to do so.

Which brings us to guy code rule #2 Getting your butt kicked, when you deserve it, by a guy in the right. We don't need to get into that but just know you can't win.

also: Dude, put a shirt on - really.
 viper1j
Joined: 11/30/2005
Msg: 16
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:33:01 PM

A little later he asked if I'd mind if he started talking to her, and I was like, yeah of coarse man.

So in any case, he ends up dating her, and I didn't mind because I was excited for him to get such a hott girl. He normally wouldn't get with attractive girls so I was happy to let them date. IS THIS OKAY?!?


Gee, I don't know.. Did you eat off his dinner plate too?

She was yours, you gave her away. She ended up with your best friend.

She's untouchable to you.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 17
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 12:36:01 PM
She dated him and that didn't work out, so she's back to you now? I'd feel a little second best, but you can do whatever you want. It's not like she put a bike lock on him.
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 18
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 1:38:59 PM
Sure, it's okay with me if you want to date her. Go ahead. Is it okay with the guy and how will that affect your friendship? Sorry, I can't tell you that. You'll have to ask to him.
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 19
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 2:27:03 PM
Where's the redundant button?

Is it okay to date my friend's hot ex-girlfriend?

ho-hum
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 20
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 3:39:23 PM
I think it's ok to date her. They have been broken up for 2 years now. Are you still very close friends with the guy?
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 21
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/29/2011 6:00:10 PM

Your friend treated you with respect when he asked you how you felt about him dating this girl years ago. Don't you think you owe him the same respect he showed you?


^^^^^^^BINGO
 S_Prime
Joined: 10/13/2011
Msg: 22
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/30/2011 9:29:51 PM
thank you for all of your responses. i wish i could go through individually, but they were all very helpful.

I am glad I asked because after reading these replies I decided that I really shouldn't date her.

thanks again =]
 AxMurderer
Joined: 5/30/2011
Msg: 23
Is it okay to date this girl???
Posted: 10/30/2011 9:49:04 PM
He asked you, so you should ask him.
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