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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Guys who say "Call me" in their first message      Home login  
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 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 1
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Guys who say "Call me" in their first messagePage 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I've been lucky enough to get quite a variety of responses since I put my profile up nearly two weeks ago. Still searching for "The one" but I'm sure he's out there somewhere.
Alot of the guys that write are nice, some not so nice, some write long thought out first messages and others barely write two words.

But one type of message that makes me wonder about what they were thinking is when a guy says "hello, my name is so and so, I liked your profile, my number is___Call me."
I'm thinking why would I call you without having said word one to you? I really prefer that a man call me the first time. Its just what I'm comfortable with, however I wont give my phone number until I have chatted with him several times and feel comfortable.
I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.

Anyway, I'm sure others get messages like this. To the women, do you ever actually call a guy who puts his number and little else in his first message to you or do you move on?
And guys, do you ever get women who do that? I would assume that there are alot fewer women sending those types of messages than men. But if you're a guy and a woman does send you her phone number on the first correspondence, will you take her up on it and give her a call?
 rhonda333
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 2
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:09:18 AM
well said cowgirl. I wouldn't know what to say either. I have no patience with guys who want to circumvent the process of getting to know people. And these are the guys who generally start their message with "hello sexy"
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 3
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:16:48 AM
I'm thinking why would I call you without having said word one to you?

Maybe that works often enough for them. Given that the number of replies a guy gets compared with the number of messages he sends is not very high, no matter what he writes, it may not make that much difference to some or even a lot of guys. Who knows? I didn't do that, so I have no idea how well it works.

I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.

That's a different queston, but since I used a disposable dating phone, giving my number out was never a problem. Had I chosen to send messages like that, I could have sent my number to an axe muderess and it wouldn't have mattered.

But if you're a guy and a woman does send you her phone number on the first correspondence, will you take her up on it and give her a call?

I sure would have if I found her attractive. My goal was to meet women in person, not send endless numbers of messages back and forth. I had a disposable phone, so giving out my number wasn't a problem. If a woman wanted to go straight to the phone, why would I care? I was just that much further along to deciding whether or not to meet her and if so, setting up a date. Women rarely (if ever) sent their phone number on the first message, but exhanging numbers within a couple of messages was pretty common. I can't see much difference in getting a number on message 1 vs. message 3. From my point of view, the only reason I would have cared would have been if it took too long to get a phone number. Then, I dropped the conversation.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 4
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:36:17 AM
Maybe theyre just die hard Go West fans who cant stop talking about their favourite Go West song

Personally I prefer We Close our Eyes. But each to their own I guess
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 5
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:38:22 AM
I have had far too many "pen pal" type exchanges that just faded away. Just this week, I sent an initial message, got an actual reply, and exchanged another 5 messages back and forth over the course of 2 days. Then I asked if she would like to meet for coffee after work, and she said "Let's just keep talking". So I asked if she would like to talk on the phone so I can hear her voice, and she declined. Guess what? This one is over.

Exchanging messages is only going to tell you so much. A phone conversation will tell you more in 10 minutes than 10 days of exchanging emails. And one brief initial meeting will tell you more than a lifetime of exchanging message. If you're not willing to actually meet someone, why are you on a dating site? To validate yourself by getting attention from men?

To get back on the original topic: The first email is probably too early for a phone number/ phone conversation. But fairly early, in my opinion, I am not looking for pen pals.
 lisalisa66
Joined: 8/30/2011
Msg: 6
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:27:36 AM
I had a guy do that a couple of weeks ago. I was a little put off by it but decided to go ahead and give him a call. We've had 2 dates since and he seems to be a wonderful guy. I'm eagerly looking forward to date number 3!
 vnufall
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 7
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:33:41 AM
i never call a guy who gives me a phone number right away because honestly i feel funny about it, like i don't know him at all. on the other hand i'm very private about giving out my phone number right away. i don't want some guy i hardly know and maybe decided i don't like to be calling me. i wwould rather talk online a little bit...and i don't mean endless e-mails either, then meet for coffee or a drink and i'll decide if i want to give my number out. just works for me.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 8
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:06:04 AM
I take my time, and wait until invited to call, and the woman gives me her number, and I will give her mine, so that she knows that it is me calling when I do.

Most times if feels better to email a few times, get to know each other, exchange more pictures to show who you really are, and maybe "cam" before exchanging phone numbers and calling to set up that meet and greet. It becomes a nightmare when you do not really know the person you are going to meet, and you find out that they are nothing like their profile and pictures, or you walk right past them because you did not recognize the person waiting for you.

To qualify this though..........If you really feel that you might have that attraction and possible chemistry, waiting weeks and weeks to get to the phone exchange and meet and greet, can just wear you down, so if you hit it off with a few emails, photo exchanges, and "cam", I say exchange numbers and set up that meeting as soon as possible!!

cd..........
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 9
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:19:17 AM

Anyway, I'm sure others get messages like this. To the women, do you ever actually call a guy who puts his number and little else in his first message to you or do you move on?

I would never call someone who gives me their number early on in email exchanges. In fact, when the phone number comes in a first email? I delete the email with no response. It takes me a long while to get to the phone stage of things. Giving it too early just reeks of desperation in my opinion. JMO
 pureblisscatch4u
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 10
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:56:42 AM
This happens in real life too. My cousin was on the subway and didn't say a word to this one guy. When he got up to leave, he left a piece of paper on the seat next to her with his name and number. This is even more pathetic because anyone could pick it up and call him. But it's pathetic in any setting. I get a guy not wanting to have "pen pals," but in the FIRST EMAIL, where you don't even know her name or if she's really a guy in Nigeria? How desperate and sad! One time I got an email from a guy and it only had ten numbers strewn together and nothing else, no name or words or anything. I assumed it was his number, but there weren't even any dashes in it. That's not only pathetic, but lazy as well.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 11
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:11:11 AM
''I don't understand men who have no problem giving their # to someone they have never spoken to before.''

I think the ones women should be wary about are the guys who WONT give out a phone number or if they do they give you just a mobile number - The reluctance to share numbers could be that one or both are married.

I Confess I have offered both my phone numbers (Home and mobile) as part of an initial email if I find the persons profile attractive BUT I have also said that by all means if they ring they can with hold their own number. I dont think its too forward and I dont lose any sleep over it if, instead there is an exchange of several mails before phone contact either way is made.

The reason I give my numbers out is simply because I dont have anything to hide plus some people do like to chat on the phone rather than keep mailing. Just because I provide it straight away doe not mean I am expecting a call straight away but its there IF they want it.

Everyone is different and I think your making a mistake discounting someone just because they have been forward enough to open up and give you an alternative contact method - Why not take it instead as a compliment that they guy is interested enough to give you the number ?

And sure IF I got a mail with a phone number and I was attracted to what I saw on the profile then sure I would ring. You can get a lot more out of a phone conversation than you can exchanging emails.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 12
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:36:56 AM

I get a guy not wanting to have "pen pals," but in the FIRST EMAIL, where you don't even know her name or if she's really a guy in Nigeria? How desperate and sad!

What's pathetic and sad? I'm still in control of my life and if I didn't like what I heard on the phone, I didn't have to talk any more. The more opportunities I took advantage of, the more options I had to do the picking and choosing. I can always say no when I want to say no. Who cares if it's a guy from Nigeria? I could figure that out when I called and I used a disposable phone. Besides, if it was a guy from Nigeria, he's still going to be the same guy from Nigeria after a few messages. It could just as easily have been a nice woman who was clueless about internet dating.It was no risk to me to make a phone call. If I met 1 woman in 10, what's the difference if it was 1 in 11 or 2 in 11 apart from having 1 more option? Why would I care? It's a phone number, not a marriage proposal.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 13
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:38:44 AM
I will never call someone that sends a number on the first correspondence that tells me shes either desperate for someone or is too lazy to go through the sequence.


I'm in the camp that believes giving me your number indicates that you are serious about dating ("real" dating) and too ambitious or busy to spend countless hours on emails and texting; when we can be sharing some eats and drinks and havinga good time in person.

i never call a guy who gives me a phone number right away because honestly i feel funny about it, like i don't know him at all


IN the olden days; didnt you take someones number so you DID get to know them?

I agree with those who say that you get a much better feel by phone, than in type.

so if you hit it off with a few emails, photo exchanges, and "cam"


Ya left out the important process screening methods of: Twitter, to Facebook, to Fedex, to Purolator, to texting on the phone before calling.

These are all vital parts of the process; so as not to end up dating a terrorist.


if it was a guy from Nigeria, he's still going to be the same guy from Nigeria after a few messages


And a hell of alot of wasted time. Heck; keep doing it by text and you may fall in love with 16 year old Jimmy from LilSprings Iowa!
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 14
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 11:18:21 AM
It goes both ways. I've been receiving a lot of telephone numbers on the first contact.

To me, it usually says she's either desperate to meet someone or is a scam of some sort to obtain ones own telephone number. Either way, I delete the email and block the user immediately.

I have a HUGE problem with exchanging personal information with someone I don't know, and my telephone number is unlisted for a reason. In addition, I don't give out my email address either, POF email system works just fine.

I only give a woman my personal information AFTER our initial meet & greet. Then and only then will I decide to share my personal contact information (i.e. telephone number, email, social network, etc).
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 15
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 12:24:27 PM
It depends.

I have not been sent a phone # in a 1st message, but have been sent the email address by obvious scammers, and don't reply.

If the phone # came from a well written profile that seemed real, I might give it a shot, especially because I have caller ID blocking on my phone, so it doesn't show up.
If it came from a profile with no pics and no essay, then I would assume it's a scammer or spammer and just delete.

"Circumventing the process"?.....
The "process" is whatever one wants it to be, not what society dictates it must be.
 5150Rivergirl
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 16
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:16:59 PM
had it just happen to me a few minutes ago, right after i read this thread too, adding his phone number

I dont put out my number that quickly. Its a red flag for me, IMO.
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 17
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/4/2011 1:24:32 PM
I'm in a somewhat different position, because it's a PITA for me to use the message thingie. I do say in my profile that if someone wants to get to know me better, I will need to switch to regular email sooner rather than later. And after awhile of that, then comes phone calls - it's nice to hear a live voice once in awhile.

But there was one who was ready to move to wherever, and he said he wanted to come visit while I was in OK. Fine, okay = it had been several months by then. He also had asthma and had to take a break every so often to use his inhaler. One evening we were talking and he sounded funny, so I asked if he needed to use his inhaler. Nope, he said, he just liked the sound of my voice and he was jacking off! That was the last conversation and I deleted every email that came until he finally gave up.

Otherwise - I dunno. I'm not so much into being a penpal, but it's better than nothing. Maybe one day it will actually lead to final success...
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 18
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/5/2011 1:08:13 PM
Exactly...And if you think its freaky cos he sent his number straight away then just ignore it and send a couple more emails - Dont assume that cos a guy gives you his number he must be a desperate phycopathic weirdo - You might just be binning a really nice bloke who just might be the one.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 19
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/6/2011 2:52:57 AM
Max profile...
.''Im 31 years old im looking for more than just a good time.If you want to get to know me just ask.I'll take it from there.I wanted to add if your looking to date several ppl at the sametime dont bothed.I know this will proably greatly reduce my chances on here but im not looking to go out with a diffent girl every week.Theres a reason I chose you to meet over the rest.If it doesnt workout it wont be because the grass was greener. ''


Kind of makes your last post look pathetic Mike.....So If Mike calls you girls then bear in mind the profile ....Hes just going through a slump lol
 ripley65
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 20
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/6/2011 2:53:19 AM
That just recently happened to me and all i can say is WTF?? I can just imagine the look on my face when i opened the email, a lil excited, only to see Call Me on there!! Nope, not calling a total stranger when i don't even know a first name!! "Hi...is um, Looking For The One there?" ..lol NOT! I don't want to exchange mail for the next decade, but i also am not calling someone i don't know. Just a few emails to get the gist of who the person is, then if i am 'feeling it', then lets meet.

Another no-no that happened just yesterday actually is someone who started off with ' Hi Sexy!'. Argh!!! That bugs me too!! Definitely rubs me the wrong way. Terms like that i wouldn't say to someone unless i knew them personally!
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 21
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/6/2011 3:08:45 AM
To a degree I can understand women being wary but for gods sake guys get some backbone!! Are you really that worried and judgemental about a woman who sends you her number?

Are you really telling me that if a stunning girl who shared similar interests mailed you and included her number you wouldnt call her hahaha what crap... You might be fooling the ladies on here but your not fooling anyone else but yourself

There are several guys on here who have said that they keep the numbers of girls who mail them it straight off and actually proclaim they will call them if they get stuck for a date. Assuming that cos the woman sent their number its a guarantee they will get laid. - What nice guys!

The guy to be wary of is not the guy who sends you his number( He isn't MAKING you ring him - but you have that OPTION)
The guy to be wary of is the guy who at best only gives you his mobile number - He wont give you his home number in case the wife/girlfriend answers.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 22
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/6/2011 4:19:33 AM
Because I'm old, I can still remember the days when if you bumped into somebody on the street, was attracted by the "look",started a quick conversation(sometimes), and then, get this, then, we exchanged phone numbers!!!!! Sometimes, (again,get this), one of us phoned the other and we carried on getting to know them, and possibly even met up again. Usually, all these mind boggling experinces all happened within a week.

I honestly believe that some here are putting a little too much value in the e-mails that you are receiving from, well, who knows what, here in this pond. You, and I, really, have no clue who these people are behind the screens, until, that one day(if it ever happens) you actually meet a person(more than once) and begin to be part of their "true" lives. You don't always get that thru e-mails and a profile that anybody can type up.
 KratosSpawn
Joined: 10/24/2010
Msg: 23
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/6/2011 4:10:41 PM
Exactly! The sooner things go offline the more real they will become. While leaping instantly to a phone call is a bit much b/c the women isn't comfortable just yet.....waiting 50 messages in isn't to swell because you as a man might be confined to being a text buddy. and no man ever wants to just be the shoulder a woman cries to booster her confidence to get to the man she really wants.
 fsteddiec
Joined: 7/10/2010
Msg: 24
Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/6/2011 6:26:42 PM
how could I call you without a number
 ripley65
Joined: 8/22/2011
Msg: 25
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Guys who say Call me in their first message
Posted: 11/7/2011 7:17:04 AM

Note to self: Start every email with "Good morning you hideous ugly troll.."


Vipers response to:
Another no-no that happened just yesterday actually is someone who started off with ' Hi Sexy!'. Argh!!! That bugs me too!! Definitely rubs me the wrong way. Terms like that i wouldn't say to someone unless i knew them personally!


Viper...why even label anyone at all in a first email?? What is so wrong with, "Hi! Hey I read your profile and thought it was pretty good. I see we have some things in common......." , or something along those lines. How would it sound to you if a woman wrote, " Wow you are HOT! Here is my number, gimme a call!". I know you're a guy and you'd probably drop dead of a heart attack if that happened, but come on. Isn't that a bit extreme from a total stranger??

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