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 Philhelm
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 1
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?Page 1 of 1    
It's not like I'm a mad scientist. Seriously though, I've gotten this more than once from women, and not as a break-up line or anything like that. It kind of bothered me since I don't think I'm condescending to people, and I put greater value on salt of the earth wisdom as opposed to pretentious intellectualism.

Is being on the brainier side a drawback? I'm not talking about Revenge of the Nerds here, but I sometimes wonder if I'd be better off dumbing myself down a bit. And no, I'm not here trying to say how smart I am; if I wanted that I'd give my mother a call.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 2
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 6:49:39 PM

I sometimes wonder if I'd be better off dumbing myself down a bit.
Surely you jest?
 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 3
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 6:53:00 PM
They're just letting you down easy .... trust me.

hahaa .. okay I didn't read between the lines .... Well if its not a break up thing.. I don't see why you'd let this bother you .... I mean if they find your "intelligence intimidating" then that's their problem not yours...
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 4
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 6:56:48 PM

Is being on the brainier side a drawback? I'm not talking about Revenge of the Nerds here, but I sometimes wonder if I'd be better off dumbing myself down a bit.


THAT was not a smart thing to say...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:00:48 PM
Perhaps it's the prospects you are choosing? Not sure what circles you're dating in or what your general conversation is...?

Naturally if you hang out in places that people go that like what you do, they will be easier to talk to...

P.S. Don't mistake bored or just not interested as intimidation. People tend to do that around here.
 Philhelm
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 6
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:08:22 PM

Surely you jest?


Sadly, no. One of the women that had said my intelligence intimidated her told me that I was soooo smart that it didn't make sense that I was so good-looking (well, to her at least). What a back-handed compliment.

Don't get me wrong, I can laugh at fart jokes, but I get tired of trying to talk about something that is a bit more than what was on last night's television show, and having a conversation fizzle. It isn't good for either of us though, I'd imagine.

I just get so sick of people always saying how smart they think I am that I almost want to scream. "Nice eyes." No problem. "Great smile." Awesome. "You're sooo smart." Arrrrrrgh!!!!
 Philhelm
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 7
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:14:04 PM

THAT was not a smart thing to say...


I'm not so sure. I don't mean acting outright dumb, but toning it down a bit. I'm not one of those folks that carries a Thesaurus around with me, but I've had people refer to me as eloquent and the like. I'm just thinking about trying to make myself speak more plainly, bring up certain topics of conversation less often, and keeping my more creative thoughts to myself. Being different can be a drawback, even if the difference is a perceived strength.
 The_Standard_Model
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 8
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:19:05 PM
There are one of two things going on and it could reasonably be either one. Either they are simply letting you down easily by saying that you are too smart for them. Or you are choosing to talk about things that are not simple casual conversation. Look, I like to discuss the Repulican debates... a lot, but I can also discuss movies and music and silly stuff too. You may need to relax.

Now I did read that you can laugh at fart jokes like the rest of us... well if this is the case then taking you at your word, you should not dumb yourself down to appeal to women that you already claim that you tire of talking to anyways. You are trying to appeal to women that you have already stated that you are not interested in if they can not match the level of conversation that you require. there is a McDonalds on every corner if you want a Big Mac, but if you want a filet mignon you have to look a little harder.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 9
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 7:44:32 PM
I'm not one of those folks that carries a Thesaurus around with me, but I've had people refer to me as eloquent and the like. I'm just thinking about trying to make myself speak more plainly

IF plain communication is your farte' , then it IS up to you to target your words to your audience and speak as plainly as necessary for that good communication to happen..

IF you want to be around a crowd where you can sometimes freely talk like a thesaurus and some people may actually get most of your jokes, try your local Mensa group, unless you feel they may be too "intimidatingly smart for you"..


Surely you jest?

He may be jest a clown, but don't call him Shirley.. Over and unger, out..

VVV you actually watch C-span? Boy you need to get out more, go to your local social groups and talk plainly to the live ladies there.. Much more fun than C-span..
 Philhelm
Joined: 6/25/2007
Msg: 10
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 8:08:54 PM

I was expecting to see you having a PHD or something but you are a Paralegal


So? While there may be a correlation between higher education and intelligence, it doesn't mean that there's a definitive connection. Intelligence isn't the same as education. As for education, there are more ways to become educated than going to school. Schools are just the easier route since you have someone to provide guidance, have access to resources, and get a piece of paper at the end.

Besides, all I have to do is turn on C-SPAN to realize that a Harvard education is laughably bad.
 Nytrix626
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 11
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:24:50 PM
You could try not using retarded big words no one with any social intelligence would use in normal conversation with strangers.
 grindblast
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 12
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:26:45 PM
Hey Philhelm,
Personally, I think you may be talking to the wrong women if they don't follow or understand what you're saying. Basically you just haven't found someone intellectually compatible. Just keep on fishin', eventually you'll meet your match.
 SansTourniquet
Joined: 8/13/2009
Msg: 13
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 9:48:47 PM
The women I'm most attracted to have an intelligence level on par with my own. I once wondered what you're wondering, in regards to "toning it down," and the only women I found myself conversing with during that time were rather uninteresting to me, and I felt that I couldn't be myself. It's a crap shoot.

Do your thing, the right women for you will be attracted to your intelligence.
 SoBayNative
Joined: 10/30/2011
Msg: 14
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:28:47 PM

You could try not using retarded big words no one with any social intelligence would use in normal conversation with strangers

What, pray tell, constitutes "retarded big words?" He used the word "correlation" is that what set you off?
OP, did you know that one actual sign of intelligence is the ability to adjust levels of formality in social interractions? Perhaps you need to work on that. Some people are fun and interesting to talk to and others aren't. Has nothing to do with intelligence or lack thereof.
 Nytrix626
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 15
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/4/2011 10:43:16 PM

What, pray tell, constitutes "retarded big words?" He used the word "correlation" is that what set you off?


pretentious intellectualism

Really?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 16
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:01:07 AM
It depends, are you being interestingly intelligent or are you talking over people's heads and make them feel stupid or confused? Because I know intelligent men I could listen to for hours, and others, I don't feel stupid but I also haven't a clue what they are talking about. I mean if I can't join in the conversation because for me you are talking gibberish, what kind of relationship should we possibly have? Of course that wouldn't be your fault if you were that way, but I wouldn't want to go there.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 17
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:10:14 AM
It's not a matter of how intelligent someone is or seems to be, it's a matter of whether or not they are actually engaged WITH THE PERSON THEY ARE DEALING WITH.

I suspect that these women have been accidentally misleading you. You are NOT intimidatingly over-intelligent, so much as you are overly self-involved on what you engage in conversation and interaction with them about.

"Dumbing down" will not help you, it will simply add dishonesty to your list of strikes against you. Instead, work on your LISTENING SKILLS, and on observing what the OTHER person is interested in dealing with. Use your intelligence to be more attentive , empathetic, and considerate of THEM, and you will likely find that it is a boon to be smart, not a problem.
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 18
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Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:14:53 AM
Nytrix626 'pretentious intellectualism' are rather normal mundane words... heh.

OP I think they say that to you in those particular instances because they want you to stop talking. Maybe so you will kiss them, maybe because of you're annoying them.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 19
Your Intelligence is Intimidating?
Posted: 11/5/2011 1:46:44 AM
Simple, Bunky: try picking an actually SMART woman. No more problems.

That you haven't figured that out would seem to cast some doubt on the state of your own smarts, lol! Your EQ might need a little work also.

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