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 jambrivt
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 2
I don't get itPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Yeah, keep trying...did you think you were going to meet your future husband on the first date?
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 3
view profile
History
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:13:07 AM
Not enough details...and deja vu post?
 ncdamsel
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 4
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:13:09 AM
i feel ya.... guess we have to sort through, a lot of toads... just keep sorting... what else can we do!!!
 diamonzforever
Joined: 10/30/2010
Msg: 5
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:16:14 AM
You just have not met the right one yet. Always be yourself and be proud of who you are. I seem to find the same thing, I am also a very confident person and am not needy what so ever, in fact the complete oppisite. Have patience and someone will recognize you for who you truly are!!! :))
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 6
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:16:19 AM
Upgrade the choices of men that you seek?
 susang909
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 7
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:20:55 AM
Be patient there are some good ones here . I had just given up 4years ago and thats when I met my late husband here and he was great.
 ncdamsel
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 9
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:28:13 AM
susang909
Sorry to hear you lost your husband,,, that is gotta be so hard, best of wishes for the future...
 susang909
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 10
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:33:02 AM
ncdamcel Thank you. Just dont give up there are alot of jerks here but I have met and made some good friends. When I go out on a date I go without expectations. I go to enjoy myself and if nothing happens at least I made a friend.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 12
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:39:09 AM
I guess I must be doing something wrong! If you don't sleep with them, they don't call and if you don they still don't call, so whats a gal suppose to do. I'm not hight maintenance

Ok, damned if you do, damned if you don't..

UPGRADE your picker, there actually ARE some genuine "nice guys" out there that will call you back whether or not you sleep with them in the first week..

They are the ones that may not have been the life of those parties you go to, and they were not the tallest or the best dressers there.. But a few of them DID follow you around and maybe try to make smalltalk, you may have overlooked them while you were staring at that Sean Connery lookalike who had three women around him competing for his attention..

In short, when you only go for the top dogs, many of them will act like it..
 UniquelyPassionateCandy
Joined: 8/6/2011
Msg: 15
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 10:56:22 AM
I would have to agree with most of the posters before me...Just go into the date or dates with zero expectations...Try to have fun..and if nothing comes of it..you experience less disappointment. And keep your standards high, you should never feel you have to sleep with a guy in order for him to want you. A truely good man will understand and want you whether you sleep with him or not. You, like me and most are weeding through the rough to find the diamond ...good luck :) (and just know that it isn't you, if they don't call you back it is their issue-whatever it might be)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 16
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 11:40:05 AM

If you don't sleep with them, they don't call and if you don they still don't call, so whats a gal suppose to do.

How about just doing what you want to do and not worrying about they think?
 NonRushingDad
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 17
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 11:57:35 AM
I don't get it either. If I was 12 years younger and lived in Surrey UK, I'd chat you up.

I could be the sex angle, but you'll never know because as 'common knowledge' goes, you can sleep with them and they never come around again either.

Maybe you should go through your reject pile and see if you remove a couple of the items you rejected profile candidate xyz and try again as the one poster posted about top dogs earlier.

Maybe your trying too hard....?
 infennario
Joined: 5/24/2011
Msg: 18
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:04:27 PM
I agree with abelian. A possible approach is to pick the guys yourself and shift perspective so that you view it more as YOUR selection process. It actually is, anyway, just as much as it is theirs. But it's easy to fall into the assumption that the guys are the "deciders" and to become too passive ourselves (it sure was for me), especially if they are doing the initial contact, calling, inviting, paying and all that. Maybe being the one to contact first, call, invite and pay could change everything, and might be worth a try, maybe if even for a few months.
 home_osorio
Joined: 2/12/2011
Msg: 20
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 12:26:59 PM
yep, you are indeed attractive. you and i think that there must be something in your attitude that decided for them to call it quits. or they just maybe intimidated by your beauty
 ryandrw89
Joined: 2/21/2010
Msg: 21
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 1:13:14 PM
I dont get this either. Ive been on this for two years and have only found one person on here. She was nice but we agreed we werent fit. Not one other girl has said anything to me on here. Anyone I message never replies. Im not an ass, nor am I rude. Yet and still, i have no luck here.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 22
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History
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:23:41 PM
Same experience here. I wish I could say something wise but all I can say is you are definitely not alone.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 23
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:41:00 PM
OP, seriously sometimes dates just don't go very far. What can you do? You shouldn't be having sex with a guy just so he'll call you back anyway...that's weird.



I dont get this either. Ive been on this for two years and have only found one person on here. She was nice but we agreed we werent fit. Not one other girl has said anything to me on here. Anyone I message never replies. Im not an ass, nor am I rude. Yet and still, i have no luck here.


Sorry...but give me a break. "Anyone I message never replies" What was the message? "Hey baby wanna fvck?" I mean seriously. I'm not by any stretch of the imagination a traditionally good looking person, and I don't have any problems with getting messages. Either A. You need to expand your standards. B. You need to re-evaluate what it is you're looking for in a person.

Keep in mind there are a lot of tactics guys use and employ to get "ahead" in the dating game. They create fake profiles..(with pictures of really hot women) and see what kinds of things men are using to contact women. Also if you're only messaging really hot women by no exaggeration they're probably getting dozens and dozens of messages from every horn dog in a 250 mi radius. So be creative perhaps?
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 25
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 2:41:38 PM
For you and all women the world over....
I hate to tell you this but there is only a small group of men you email.
They get mail from tons of ladies and can take their pick.

The rest sit at home with empty mailboxes.

so email guys outside your norm.
(by that I mean outside your girlish fancy of the perfect guy)
Cus those guys get all the mail anyways.
You are competing for them with top 10 ten hotties.

A guy good enuff
will in the end..... BE good enuff.
Perfection is a never ending mirage of loneliness.
 TimeFlies24
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 26
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:35:00 PM
OP- I dont kow what it could be. You are nice looking, and based on your pics u seem to be a fun peron. The only thing I can say is for you to think about your past dates and see if there was anything that you may have been doing that would send a different message than you were trying to convey. Sometimes we dont even realize what we're doing subconsciously.
 ss-scott
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 27
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:43:13 PM
from what I have heard from people... if you are looking for sex from a woman on plenty of fish... find the profile that say "if your only looking for one thing dont talk to me" it screams that this person is maybe weak and will easily cave... personally I did that for a little while and I am over it... but maybe take that off your profile.. give things time and dont have expectations or bring pressure too fast... show interest in the person and who they are... which may or may not be their career...

you are attractive that is not the issue... make sure you love yourself.. too..
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 28
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:07:06 PM
It's not them, it's you. It's the kind of guys you go for. You say you want to find a nice guy, but still end up with the opposite. Try broadening your horizons.
 RockyDakota
Joined: 5/16/2011
Msg: 29
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:08:40 PM

For you and all women the world over....
I hate to tell you this but there is only a small group of men you email.
They get mail from tons of ladies and can take their pick.

The rest sit at home with empty mailboxes.

so email guys outside your norm.
(by that I mean outside your girlish fancy of the perfect guy)
Cus those guys get all the mail anyways.
You are competing for them with top 10 ten hotties.

A guy good enuff
will in the end..... BE good enuff.
Perfection is a never ending mirage of loneliness.

This is well written and dead on. Kudos to you, mate!
 pasmal
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 30
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:20:54 PM
You seem like you jump into situations vs take the dull, slow, no expectations route, then get crushed.
Some people think the slow lane is for losers, but others just feel better for it and can keep dating.
You have to figure, 9 out 10 people you wont be coupling up with.
The really sad thing is to base a ltr on superficialities--looks--ok, good enough, not a jerk, ok.
A ltr has some intangible element--a shared love, goal or something undefined.
Don't feel terrible that this is rare. If all you wanted was to be told you're pretty, many will be there for that purpose.
Assuming you feel you know you're appealing, ask yourself--what it is you really want in a SO, and does this date have that vs, the gee he doesn't call--maybe there is something to him after all, if he doesn't want me.
Could be he knows there wasn't enough going forward, maybe he knew all along.
Don't be about "winning", validation, having mass appeal, or popularity--take the ego out of the equation.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 31
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History
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 4:30:44 PM
Ignore whether you sleep with them or not, its irrelevant

Someone who genuinely likes you wont give a toss either way unless you drop your slime catchers before hes said hello or you have a 99 date rule

As long as its a natural progression and doesnt seem either contrived or manipulative then no blokes I've ever known really think about it in the kind of obsessive paranoid overthinking way most women seem to

Its hard to really know what the problem might be though without transcripts of a few of your dates (videos too if they were ones that ended in sex haha) seriously though, for all you know you "could" have something bizarre in the sex department that puts people off even

But its more likely its to do with how and why you pick men, so that might be worth some thought

And after that would come down to how you are on dates

Even some quite innoccuous things can be read to mean something quite offputting

I had a friend who used to slag off exes thinking it would show dates they didnt have to worry about any lingering exes or relationships that werent fully "done"

Instead though, it made men see her as a bit of a psycho who was still emotionally invested with several exes

So dont just think about what you say, but think about how it might come across to somebody else, as that kind of thing can be a common problem

Other than that, you didnt think you'd go on one date and end up married did you?

Mutual matching is quite hard and MOST interactions wont work out. If it was THAT easy there'd be no such thing as single people, dating sites or divorce

And if it took say 20 dates or failed relationships for somebody to find someone fairly compatible on average then that would mean some people might be lucky enough to find it first time out, but others it might take 100 or more as thats how averages tend to work

So try not to overthink things or second guess what someone else "might think", because whats the point of pretending to be someone you arent to snag someone who wouldnt like the real you? Kind of nuts really isnt it?

Just be yourself, do what you think feels right for YOU and try to learn from each outing as it IS something that improves with time and practise (like sex actually lol)
 sweetgoddess67
Joined: 1/5/2010
Msg: 32
I don't get it
Posted: 11/5/2011 5:41:28 PM
ok my theory on dating is like trying on shoes...you can try on many different pairs, but 95% of them are not going to be a fit at all...and of the 5% that might fit fairly good, there will still be areas that could fit better! So when you find a pair that fits pretty good, just go for it...keep them, and give them a test drive...dont hold back!
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