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 RyanRoland
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 1
When should I ask her out again?Page 1 of 1    
Okay so first of all, let me make it clear that she PREFERS TEXT. I would prefer to call her, but it is what it is. I can do both, either, or.

We met at the gym and were instantly attracted, spent the entire next day together, we went to the gym (haha), held hands and grabbing on each other and kissing all day, went out for food, cuddled and watched our favorite programs, it was a rainy day so it all just felt great.

We were planning on going to a show together the next day, but the day of, she told me she had to cancel and hoped I wasn't upset. I said no problem, and it would still be fun for me because I have other friends going. I texted her yesterday afternoon (next day after that) to see if she wanted to go to the gym (we are both gym rats), but she said she went the day before and today was her off day, so no go. Personally, I feel I would have said the same if it was my off day...probably. lol

I'd like to ask her out again soon, but I don't want to come on too strong, and so I'd like to keep the question more up in the air, like, "Would like to see you soon! Let me know when you're free?"

Think that would be good?

I have tuesday off, and she has a light schedule, no work and very little school at the moment...maybe I should just try texting her then?
 curvesweetblonde99
Joined: 5/7/2011
Msg: 2
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/7/2011 2:06:26 PM
Ask that question after a 2-4 days of zero contact. If she doesn't get back to you then take the hint and move on.
 Pete2205
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 3
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When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/7/2011 2:12:37 PM
Have you considered that maybe your an option? perhaps she is keeping her options open and your not her only admirer?
I am not trying to put a dampener on it - She may just not be as keen as you.

just keep YOUR options open until you have seen her a few times and you know where its going if anywhere :)
 RyanRoland
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 4
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/7/2011 5:09:18 PM
Thanks for all the advice!

I hear you all loud and clear!

Pete- Yea I am SURE she is seeing other people too. But luckily so am I...but she's the one I really like :)
 ZachariahTicer
Joined: 9/22/2010
Msg: 5
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When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/7/2011 8:21:08 PM
^^^
Could very well be the case! However OP since you JUST met her it seems perfectly reasonable that she would have more interest in the other guys she has been seeing. Give it a little more time.

Everything seems fine to me. I don't really see what you are concerned about. She turned down your invite to the gym as it was her off day (normal). Just message her tomorrow (day off) and see if she wants to meet you for happy hour. If she doesn't wanna, don't think about it. Call the other girl or build solar panels for your house or something.


"Would like to see you soon! Let me know when you're free?"

Meh don't say that just make it a simple invitation to something fun.
If she responds saying she can't, you will know whether she's interested in you if she says "I can't because _________ but I am free _____lets________".
 unclezeus
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 6
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 1:45:13 AM
You're doing too much "Asking". You need to man-up, and tell her , "Come to the gym with me tomorrow". She will then accept or decline. But don't "Ask".

Don't take a woman out with your friends until she has gotten comfortable being around you. So the idea of taking her , with your friends , to a movie, was not a good idea.


I'd like to ask her out again soon, but I don't want to come on too strong,


How can I put this delicately..... "Man-the-hell-up". Tell her you want to go out with her and set up a time and place. Done.
No more wussy behavior.


"Would like to see you soon! Let me know when you're free?"


No, that is just too damn weak. Take charge, grow some stones.


Think that would be good?


Sure, if you're trying set up a time to play , "Dress the dollies" with her.


maybe I should just try texting her then?


No. You should talk to her with your voice, and TELL her , "Lets do something Tuesday".
You will already have an activity in mind, so you will tell her thats what you have planned , to do with .
She can accept of decline.
IF she declines. She is no longer interested in you.
 hoyos
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 7
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 2:47:06 AM
^^^
I often wonder what you smoke Zeus when coming up with stuff like "Dress the dollies"

OP - give it a rest and skip the texts. When/if you see her at the gym again then see where it goes.
 MuscleMermaid
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 8
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 3:03:22 AM
Just ask her when you see her again ~ this is why I do not date from the Gym. If things do not go smooth, I do not want anything awkward. I have seen some tragic Gym dating drama go down. What you have so far is not a huge deal but keep it in mind if you guys DO see on another & it goes sour. Be careful. Good luck.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 9
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When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:39:09 AM

You're doing too much "Asking". You need to man-up, and tell her , "Come to the gym with me tomorrow". She will then accept or decline. But don't "Ask".

I respectfully disagree with this. Pushy, bossy, overbearing men are a complete and utter turn off for me, and I'm sure a lot of other women too. I also don't want a clingy, needy, doormat of a man either.

OP.. a combination of what was said here... "I'm doing *this* next Wednesday, would love for you to join me.. let me know"... then you wait. If she doesn't respond, move on. If she counters with another day or activity and that works for you, then do that.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 10
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When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 6:54:27 AM

no_1_bby said:
I respectfully disagree with this. Pushy, bossy, overbearing men are a complete and utter turn off for me, and I'm sure a lot of other women too. I also don't want a clingy, needy, doormat of a man either.


And that's the problem, isn't it? A man has to walk that line between "pushy, bossy, overbearing" and "clingy, needy, doormat". It is not something that is easily learned, and I think UncleZeus is doing a good job of pushing these wusses towards becoming men.
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 11
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 7:17:00 AM

I often wonder what you smoke Zeus when coming up with stuff like "Dress the dollies"


+ in Zeus's World a male friend is a"Token Gay Guy" or "Sally"

Op,id suggest NOT texting her for a few days and hope you hear from her asking you out
 MissieMary
Joined: 10/31/2011
Msg: 12
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:19:32 AM
I would maybe ask her again 1 more time, but wait a few days before 'directly' asking her to get together again. If she says no again, just ask her directly if she's not into you. Tell her that it's alright if she not, but you don't want to keep on getting your hopes up or waiting on her waisting your time, if she's just going to say no.

Well, that's what I would prefer for a guy to say anyways with me, since to be honest I often do say no. And sometimes I'm sure it does sound like perhaps I'm just making excuses, but really just because I say no a few times does not mean that I'm not interested. But I can't really speak for this girl and her personality.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 13
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When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 11:44:08 AM

MissieMary said:
And sometimes I'm sure it does sound like perhaps I'm just making excuses, but really just because I say no a few times does not mean that I'm not interested.


There are a million exceptions to every rule, but here is a rule that should make a good starting point for you:

If a girl says "No" to a request for a date, and does not offer an alternative, then she is probably not into you.
 getanet
Joined: 6/10/2011
Msg: 14
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/8/2011 12:22:40 PM
It sounds like you two went instantly into long term relationship complacency mode?

"Hung out." "Went to the gym." Maybe it felt good at the time that day, but maybe it felt like a tired old relationship right off the bat too? Look around and see what's going on in town, develop a GAMEPLAN which resembles an actual date, and INVITE her to said activity. Be it a concert, an art opening, SOMETHING. (Something free, preferably, so you're not left holding the bag with some tickets for something you can't use if she declines.) She needs something more than "hanging out til you shag." Ya know? Woo her a little.
 RyanRoland
Joined: 6/21/2011
Msg: 15
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/9/2011 2:30:56 PM
Thank you so much for the continued responses, this is all great stuff, and I agree with Zeus that I need to man up a little more, BECAUSE when I'm out with someone who I know likes me more than I like her, I "man up" naturally...and I have been pushy before, so I'll try to keep it in that happy medium.

...and yes, we somehow got caught in this whirlwind-talk about the future-moment on our first date. This doesn't happen ever, and was a result of us being surprised that we have so much in common...the weird thing is, the next day I thought, "We have so much in common...but is that enough for a spark?"
 IVIaxy
Joined: 9/27/2011
Msg: 16
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/10/2011 9:37:15 AM
I am not a girl but I have heard a piece of info from my lady friends could be useful in your case:

If a girl wants to see you, she will hunt you down. If she doesn't, move on.

If you have confidence, I think you should be straight forward with her. Tell her you would like to see her again, but you are fine with answer "no".
 SFGIANTSFAN_IN_SOCAL
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 17
When should I ask her out again?
Posted: 11/10/2011 11:50:24 AM
If a woman is into a man, she will be happy with WHENEVER he asks her out (unless he is playing with her, in which case she'll eventually wise up). If a man is into a woman, HE SHOUDL ASK HER OUT AGAIN IMMEDIATELY. Make FIRM plans for the second date during or shortly before the first date ends. Game playing ends when you are really interested in pursuing someone.

I know a man isn't interested in dating me further when he says things like, "We should do this again sometime."

If he is interested, no matter if it is the 2nd or 3rd date, he'll say something like, "You want to see *insertmovienamehere* and I want to as well. Let's go on Friday. Maybe we can do dinner first?"
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