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 AUTHOR
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 1
Would appreciate a profile reviewPage 1 of 1    
Hello there and thanks for helping(Or at least viewing xD).

Okay in all seriousness, I do know I need a better pic as well as more. I am working on that. I can already tell with a pic like that, women would most likely be disincline to want to chat.

Anywho, so far, I have only managed to get a response from one female, which isn't bad, but I won't say, 'it was what I was hoping to expect'.

I feel I might need to kick up the pace on making myself seem more exciting, after all people like a exciting person. (Being boring is no fun).

Any ways, any help would be great as long as it is with respect.

Here is a link to my profile, if needed.

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=33014853
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 2
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 11/20/2011 2:42:55 AM
I agree 100% on the whole, 'picture' issue. I want to make it known, if I didn't already, that I do plan to upload better pictures of myself.

I see. Honestly I am trying to discover what my interests are without them sounding like the same thing.

Oh I had a grammar error? >.> I hate that, especially when it is because I type to fast. I will definitely fix that.

You are right. It is a over use line. To be honest, I was kind of nervous writing it and I guess I kind of went with the 'cliche' line.

I appreciate the help.
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 3
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 11/20/2011 3:48:55 AM
Well I made some changes to my profile.

I think it is less 'bulky' and goes straight to the point on what I am about and what I want in a relationship.

So any thoughts on it now, would be great as well.

If you spot and bad grammar or anything like that, feel free to let me know. BUT don't let that be the only thing in your post.

I am looking for constructive criticism.
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 4
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 4/16/2014 5:17:54 PM
So I recently came back to my account after a bit of inactivity(Decided to try more real life approaches).

Any who, I have been working on my profile to try and better it, without straying from my own personality nor hiding them from view. I shorten things down, a little, just to make things easier to read(It wasn't a huge read before, but I think it is better shorten).

So, what I am asking is what do you feel should be changed to make me more of a target(Is that an appropriate word to use?) for more responses from the opposite sex?

As for the current picture, I am working on adding more(I rather not keep my profile plain as I feel it is best to at least show what you look like. No one really likes surprises. Not those kinds). So please ignore the lack of pictures.
 PurpleZebra12
Joined: 10/9/2013
Msg: 5
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 4/16/2014 5:46:58 PM
You sound like a homebody who never leaves the house. All of your hobbies are sedentary. You say "laid back", "take it easy" and "hang out". Nothing, aside from the first date, gave an indication you would enjoy something outside of your couch. You can be introverted, shy, quiet, whatever and still have a thriving social life. Weekly game nights, book clubs, conventions, etc are quite geeky and quite social. Emphasize the things that get you out of the house.

"I don't need you to be classy" inadvertently turns away the classy ladies. And you've implied that being classy is somehow not being herself. A woman that wears dresses or whatever your definition of classy includes might be doing those things simply because she likes them.

Avoid saying you love a woman in your profile. Can scare off the women who aren't quite ready for that step.
 ScooterSB
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 6
view profile
History
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 4/16/2014 6:13:35 PM
Your profile is very vague and generic. With the expectation of the big about dogs it could describe 99% of guys out there.

Be specific.

What makes you unique?
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 7
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 4/16/2014 6:50:17 PM
@PurpleZebra On second glance at my profile, I do see how I can seem like a regular couch potato and how that can be deemed a "turn off" to various women.

And I definitely see how the "you don't have to be classy" comment could be read as a contradiction to the various words after it.

And yes, I took that love comment out. I wasn't aware that using it in that way could be a red flag.

I appreciate the critique.

@Scooter Yes, I agree it did feel kind of plain(I re-read the profile about a couple times). I added a little more about what I have been doing and my interests. It feels a little more interesting but then again, it was me reading it and no one else.
Again, I appreciate your help as well.

@Campfires Yes, I understand more pictures gets more views as people get to see what I do with my life without having to solely read my "About me". My issue was more on not wanting to have pictures kind of mesh together and look too similar. I want to add pictures of my everyday life. But I do get what you are saying. I have a camera, I should be using it.

Any who, I did "fix" up my profile a little more to better show my interests.
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 8
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 4/16/2014 8:29:38 PM
Thank you so much for the help. Very informative.

And yup, I get the hint on the smile. I need to definitely add some smiling pictures. I think I will try some shots outside, tomorrow if it is nice.
 tatersprout
Joined: 8/23/2013
Msg: 9
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 4/17/2014 1:11:04 PM
Do you always have the habit of saying "any who" instead of "anyhow"?

One photo and it's really bad.
What is taking you so long? Snap a few selfies and put up something flattering while you work on better ones. Camera angle is so important.


I'm currently working on my degree in computer information systems, but I am having some second doubts and contemplating on switching to a more focus field; Graphic design.
you need to sound confident, not wishy washy.
Say: "I am currently working on my Computer Information Degree and have developed a great interest in Graphic Design also."


On my free time, when i'm out and about, I love to check out the latest movies with friends. Mainly horror and comedy. Though, I admit some movies have seriously disappointed me this past year. And when i'm at home, I always have to catch my latest episode of Family Guy and American Dad. I never miss one.
"In" my free time...
Don't refer to movies disappointing you. Negativity.
Don't talk about never missing your fav cartoons. Plus, you mention The Simpsons twice. You're not 12.

Grammar errors look sloppy.


My favorite music isn't really focus...
Do you mean "focused"? Do you mean that music doesn't interest you?

"...movies with friends. Mainly horror and comedy." Use comma, not period.
"I got to say..." I've
"Good food and music, was..." Take out the comma.
"...who is outgoing and fun. Who doesn't mind being..." Use comma, not period.


Hollywood dishes out and guessing who betrayed who or question how the Simpsons writers can still come up with material after a decade. I want someone who doesn't mind dishing out friendly jabs as we compete for who is better in various games. Basically, I want someone I can connect with physically as well as mentally.
You use the word "dishes" twice.
Is it a deal breaker if she doesn't like the Simpsons as much as you?
Does this mean you want to punch each other since you mention jabs then physical connection?


Well I am not really the type of guy who wants to go to a fancy restaurant. I think it would be better and easier to go to a small setting, where we can talk and such, while enjoying some nice food. To me, if we share the same interests, a date could be just us hanging out together, walking, sitting, whatever.
Does that mean you never go to a fancy restaurant? Don't say what you wouldn't do--only what you would do. Have confidence.

What you write give the only impression she will get of you before deciding to talk with you.
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 10
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/29/2014 7:24:50 AM
So I recently added some more pictures to my profile and reviewed over the "About me" section. I think it is a little better. I am kind of worried the pictures arent the best. I am not a photo type of guy but i do want to improve on it.

But anyways, i would like a new review. Thank you for your help to better myself.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 11
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/29/2014 7:54:58 AM
Did you even read the advice given above regarding your photos? All your photos are terrible. Too close to the camera (your nose looks huge), bad lighting, poor quality, all the same. Since 2011 you have not got any decent ones. Seriously man if you're not even going to bother with this you might as well give up now because without good photos you will FAIL here.

It already says "About Trevon", you don't need to repeat this, especially in bold.

It's a bit generic - you like movies and music? Nothing else? Every man and his dog like movies and music. You need to stand out from the crowd. What makes you unique?

Your first date could come across as creepy, women meeting random dudes off the internet tend to like well-lit, public places. It makes them feel safe, you know.

Get rid of all your mail restrictions, especially the age one. They are totally unnecessary for any guy on here, and just make it look like you're searching for a younger woman.
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 12
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/29/2014 9:16:49 AM
I thought I took that out. Well thank you for pointing that out.

SoI did edit the bio, adding a little more about myself and taking out what i find unnecessary. I changed the first date portion, as well.

As for the pictures. If you had to keep one, which woukd you prefer. I am actually out so I will try some more pictures with your advice. I am limited on cameras so I have to work with what I have.

I do appreciate your input.
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 13
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/29/2014 9:19:15 AM
I would not keep any of these photos, they are all terrible. Well i suppose the outdoors one is the least bad, but it's still very distorted.
Look at the main photos of the reviewers in your thread. Mine, Campfires, Scooter.
Then look at yours.
See the difference?
 Shurokun
Joined: 11/4/2011
Msg: 14
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/30/2014 10:49:06 AM
So I didn't get a chance to take any more outside, but I took a few inside and I think the current one I have now is the best.

I will take some more pictures when I get the chance. I looked at your picture and the others you mention and I think it is a little better, but I am looking opinions from people who are more used to taking pictures of themselves.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 15
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/30/2014 10:55:04 PM
You need to take care of your spelling too or the typos whatever. How hard is it to get some smiling full length shots done? You wont do well until you have them up and that is for sure.
"it was what I was hoping to expect" is wrong, just "what I was hoping for" or "what I was expecting".
 Mark_It_Up
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 16
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/31/2014 2:15:51 AM

I am looking opinions from people who are more used to taking pictures of themselves.

Mine is a selfie.
Get outdoors.
Ask the first stranger you see to take your photo. If you're embarrassed, say it's to send to your mum.
I've asked loads of strangers to take my photo in the past and not once has anyone laughed at me or said "no".
 2015LadyLove
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 17
Would appreciate a profile review
Posted: 10/31/2014 6:48:27 AM
My smiling outside headshot picture is a selfie.

I took the picture at a park with a borrowed camera using the self timer. The camera is sitting on a garbage can!
The black and white picture of me standing by the couch is also self taken with the same camera, this time on a stack of books on my dining room table.

Other pictures were taken by complete strangers and with a smile they were happy to take them :).
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