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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Walking Out during First Meet      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
Walking Out during First MeetPage 1 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Who cares what happened...she was rude and ignorant and not worth your time.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 6
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 6:58:54 AM
the third time we were able to meet up. We had chatted for along time prior.

Define "long time"?
If more than a few days, then you both may have built up a fantasy ideal image of the other in your imagination, so much so that the reality paled by comparison..

That experience MAY have taught you something.. Did it? It is an example of what can happen when there is too much false intimacy chat before actually meeting in person..

Also she may actually have had several concurrent "first meets" set up nearby and wasn't very creative with her exit lines.. And the "dog" could have been her husband/bf texting her..

Next time be prepared to walk out yourself, when someone like that is "constantly checking her phone"...
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 7
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:34:23 AM
If it was an alsation maybe the dog seemed like more of a "sure thing"

Are you sure she said she had to "feed" the dog, and not that it was time for the dog to "eat"?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 8
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 8:05:19 AM
I have wanted to seriously bail two times when I have met men. But I didn't bail.

The woman was classless and it is not how women--or men--usually operate.

Good riddance.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 11
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 8:23:29 AM
It could have been something you said or did. I have had women blow up on me over something I said that seemed completely innocuous to me.

During one initial meet-and-greet I made a comment about a man who appeared to be intoxicated. This was after work, in a bar, about 5:30 in the afternoon. The guy was walking out, and had trouble keeping a straight line. I pointed this out, and made a laughing comment about it being early in the day to be that sizzled. It turned out that the woman had some close relative, with some obscure disease, that caused the same type of problem with walking a straight line. She lowered the boom on me, called me an "insensitive _ _ _ _ _ _ _" and other choice phrases.

You just never know. All you can do is hope for better luck next time.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 12
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 9:16:20 AM
If you go on another first meet/date and a woman is obsessed with checking her cell phone, you should pull out your cell phone, pretend you have an urgent message, and say you have to go right away, and walk out. A person who is messing with a cell phone on a meet-and-greet is saying to you: "I'm not interested in you", as you found out. So there's no point in continuing the charade. Women say they know in the first few seconds if there is the magical "instant chemistry". Obviously, there wasn't any within the first three seconds of seeing you, so you were history at that point anyway.
 Magina314
Joined: 1/9/2011
Msg: 17
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:21:27 AM
This is all too familiar to:

"Wow, that's a really great profile picture you've got there!"

"Why thank you, usually i'm a****and I don't reply. Don't expect a 2nd one."
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 19
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:31:16 AM
The only time I would advocate someone doing this is if she showed up and something about your profile/previous discussions was a full on lie.

I did this when I met a man who was easilyy 20 years older than his profile and additional pics sent to me indicated. He said he was 47...if he was a day younger than 67 Id be shocked. Lie to me, and you wont get any of my time. I will leave you sitting there all the fool.

However, if you were 100% honest in your communications, she was just a classless pig and not worth your time. No...not all women will do this.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 20
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:32:34 AM
I personally have had that happen as well....only it wasn't at a bar - it was at a coffee house instead

So I just decided to finish my coffee and left. Never heard from him again.......until he tried to call me 8 months down the line.......

Needless to say, I didn't return his call.........
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 22
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:59:22 AM
It was very rude, of course and you know it. I'm sorry you had that experience.


Is this how women operate when they decide a man is not for them?

Now this makes me think that maybe she had a good reason to walk out but than again I couldn't know. To make a statement like that based on one experience is childish and extremely offensive.
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 25
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 11:27:53 AM
Agreed. But all women are not responsible for these experiences. It's really important not to generalize even if other people do.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 31
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 12:23:38 PM
Taking the story at face value, this is a prime example of the kind of "mentally challenged" people on "online dating" sites who have not yet been clinically diagnosed.

Leaving someone just hanging because you are no longer interested is behavior one would expect from a 12 year old, not an adult.

 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 35
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 1:26:58 PM

I have been told by women friends that women can be that rude with no problem, if they have an issue with something. If she did not like what I said then how about saying I have to get up early so I need to leave. Simple


You have to be old enough to understand and know that many people have no idea how to handle ANY confrontations at all. You and I may find what she did as "rude",but, if ya ask her, I'm betting she could come up with quite a few reasons for her actions.

It is what it is, and this is what we got,,,,,today. Not the way I would have handled it,but obviously, it's the way SHE handles it.What do ya do?????
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 36
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:30:34 PM
Welcome to the world of online dating.
 _shakti_
Joined: 7/5/2011
Msg: 37
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:31:49 PM
A friend told me that he showed up for a date and the woman was like 20+ lbs heavier than her pics. Having dealt with it in the past and being sick of it, he looked at her and said 'I'm sorry, but you've misrepresented yourself. Goodbye'.

I thought that was just plain awesome! Lol..

If the woman in your case felt you likewise misrepresented yourself, she should have had the temerity to say so. But she didn't. I agree that it was rude, but if this sort of thing has happened to you before, you might want to look at putting up some more recent pics..
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 38
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 2:32:50 PM
i did a few daytime first meets at a small park by a local pier. nice and casual and open, so it was safe and inviting, while also being easy to break away from if things were an instant dud, which only happened once.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 42
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 4:14:53 PM
This is why I keep first meetings short, inexpensive, convenient. So that neither person feels trapped to the point where they want to walk out - let's face it, we all have wanted to leave 10 minutes into a night where you have a long time to go. Most people can handle 30 minutes pretty well, so that's what I try to stick to.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 44
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 7:47:50 PM
..Maybe it was something you said or did ??...otherwise she was just plain rude and you're well rid of her!
 Archangel_07
Joined: 6/21/2010
Msg: 45
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/22/2011 8:47:51 PM
That is rude and first sign of it was checking the phone so much. Seriously what goes on in people's head when they do that?? that's a pet peeve and a deal breaker for me on the first date. Onto the next OP
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 50
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/23/2011 11:08:26 AM
Well OP...all I can tell you is that I represent myself honestly, and never has a 'meet' tried to escape. In fact, they are usually surprised to see that I am exactly as my pics make me look.

Seeing as you have had ladies dash away more than once, you may be mis representing yourself.

In my early days on pof, I would endure the meeting/date, out of politeness. Now I dont. I feel that people who misrepresent themselves think because most will be polite and tolerate the date that they can continue to get away with mis representing themselves. I leave right off if the man greeting me is NOT the same man I chatted with and exchanged pictures with. I figure maybe they will 'get it' if someone treats them rudely, as I think it is even more rude to pretend to be something you are not and wasting my time to meet you in the first place under false pretenses. Sometimes being polite at all costs can create an illusion that mis representing one self is acceptable. It is not.

I however have never left without telling the dude exactly why I was leaving. I didnt make up a story or hide in the washroom. I told him I was disappointed and felt tricked into meeting him, and then I left.

Soon after, I began only meeting men who were willing and able to allow me to see them live on thier webcams. (no weenie show). To me, that is one of the best ways to see if someone looks like they do on thier pof profile. It has worked, since using this rule, I have never met anyone who wasnt exactly what I expected physically. I also like knowing I can provide the same sense of relief to the man Im planning to meet. I understand many men face this same issue and I dont want to add to thier crappy experiences.

Look truthfully at your profile, and if required, upload some truly recent pictures.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 51
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/23/2011 11:38:19 AM
Oh yea this type of thing has happened to me many times in my relationships. I never even know what I said and wham ISSUE! Very weird how some women turn things into an issue.


While I'd agree walking out on someone like this is rude, past forum threads
have indicated that many people show up and are not what their profile would have
them be. People who have been through this more than once would probably
have a lower tolerance for someone who does this.

I'm not saying you're not as your profile says, but you do indicate your pictures
are old and more than one person has apparently done this to you. I'd have to
hear her side of things to know for sure.

But other than that, if I were you, I'd check out what I might do differently in the
future.
 TopGun4U79
Joined: 11/7/2010
Msg: 53
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/23/2011 2:12:34 PM
A first date can be like walking on broken glass...carefull where you step.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 55
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Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/23/2011 5:55:53 PM

Oh yea this type of thing has happened to me many times in my relationships. I never even know what I said and wham ISSUE! Very weird how some women turn things into an issue.


once again.......YOU are the common denominator in all this.
If this type of thing keeps happening.......then I' d say do not know how to communicate with a woman without offending in her in some way......and are totally clueless that you are doing so.

Honestly, without us being privy to these conversations it's impossible for us to say what is going on.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 56
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/23/2011 6:59:55 PM
Well, presuming your pictures are fairly current, you didn't show up in a wife-beater smelling like a dumpster, and weren't falling over drunk... I'd go with rude.

But as described well by others here, sometimes people just 'tweak out' over things that for whatever personal reason disturb them, and bail. It happens, you just have to try to not take it personally. If it happens *all the time*, then you might take a look at what you could be doing wrong/saying wrong, that causes it.
 Found_In_Translation
Joined: 2/16/2011
Msg: 57
Walking Out during First Meet
Posted: 11/23/2011 7:35:19 PM
I disagree...
Before the stones are thrown at me left, right and center, here is what happened yesterday:

I walked away on a guy. Prior to walking away, I paid the whole tab and actually prepaid one more drink for him.

There was no way I would stay there and then excuse myself. No. When we were setting the time and place, my "date" sounded like he had a few drinks already. I joked about it and specifically asked him not to have too many by the time we meet. We too, had been talking for a while.

When I arrived, he had already had yet another drink. Looking not a bit close to his pictures, with hair that had not been introduced to the shower for (my guess at least a week), not able to actually start the conversation, except with a few mumbles about how hot I looked...

Do you seriously believe I can also be accused of "lacking class" for walking away without explanation? I could not waste my or his time, knowing that this was going nowhere.

I think, lacking class would be saying "I have to leave, you are nowhere close to what I thought you were" right into the person's face.
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