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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?      Home login  
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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 1
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Ok, so there is another thread going, part of the issue was that the chick he met weighed 20 lbs more in his estimation that he imagined her to be by her profile...

So does 20 lbs really make a diff?

I recently lost some weight, not alot, but 15 lbs...I thought I was getting more attention from the opposite sex, but a friend told me that it was not a significant difference, but rather that I had more confidence & was therefore more approachable...I dunno...to me 15-20 lbs on a person is not a biggie, esp if they are well groomed & dressed & have a nice personality, good character & some intellect...

hope this thread does not get killed off
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 2
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How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 1:41:22 PM
For me, at 5'3.5", 20 lbs. makes a huge difference. Right now, I'm about 10 lbs. overweight in terms of BMI, and I'm in a size 6 or 8. At 20 lbs. heavier, I was in a size 12, my face was quite chubby, and I looked significantly older.

Having been 15 lbs. lighter than I am now relatively recently, I know that at that weight, I'm in a size 4 and look slender and even younger than I do now.

So, yes, it does make a difference.

My boyfriend recently lost 70 lbs., and I can definitely say that in his case, 15-20 lbs. also made quite a difference, although he's 6'2".
 pureblisscatch4u
Joined: 3/18/2011
Msg: 3
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 1:44:01 PM
Yeah, height makes a difference. I weigh ten pounds less than I did a couple of years ago and have weighed as much as 25 less and I didn't look any different. For someone shorter though, it can change their appearance dramatically.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 4
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 1:47:46 PM
Someone you see regularly isn't going to notice 20 lbs but depending on your size and your genetics 20 lbs could mean a great deal. 20 lbs is lost by different people in different ways.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 5
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How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 1:54:47 PM
If someone is 5 foot it can be a big difference. I have a friend who is 4 foot 10 and 20 pounds on her is the difference between her being average and overweight. so height is to be considered. On me .. 20 pounds is 2 dress sizes !

is 20 pounds a deal breaker?
I don't feel it is. People can lose weight and can lose 20 pounds in 2 months easily
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 6
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 2:13:48 PM
Everyone is different and carries weight differently. I've been 20 pounds heavier than I am now, and I've been 20 pounds lighter. I've lost 35 lbs in the last year, and for me, that's only about 1 1/2 sizes smaller. I'm a bigger girl, but I also build muscle VERY easily. As muscle weighs more than fat, I weigh more than most people tend to guess looking at the size of me (about a 14/16 right now). I'm also 5'6 1/2 and have an hourglass figure, so I distribute weight pretty evenly throughout my body.

Other people, however, may distribute weight differently. If a person is pear-shaped, they'll get a bigger bottom, even if their top stays the same, for example. If a person is shorter, 20 lbs will also look a lot different on them than on a taller person. Ultimately, it really has more to do with body type and height than anything. 20 lbs is different for all people, and for some, it may be a big difference, and for others, it may not be.
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 7
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 2:14:21 PM
I am 5 ft 1.5 inches and gaining 5 pounds puts me in a bigger pants size!
As everyone has said it all depends on the height of the individual and how they carry the weight.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 8
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 2:14:40 PM
On me ... yes.

It makes a huge difference.

They say each 10 pounds is a dress size.

I have just gone the opposite way and gained 15 pounds.
I feel sooooo uncomfortable, that I am diligently working to get it of.

Congrats on the loss.
It does effect a persons confidence, especially if they feel better.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 9
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 3:13:24 PM
My first inclination is to say "not much", in the big scheme of things.

However, as others have said, it can depend on one's height, and also, it can depend on whether the extra 20 lbs. was pretty evenly distributed all over one's body, or concentrated more in one particular area (waistline, thighs, butt, breasts, etc.).

Also, the mental aspect is not to be discounted either. Just realizing that one HAS lost or gained 20 lbs. can indeed have an impact on one's confidence and desirability in that regard.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 10
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 3:17:52 PM
I think weight is irrelevant - to be the bigger issue is health. And different people carry the same weight differently.

I would prefer to have someone who was concerned heavy and who was a nice man vs. being the prefect weight and a complete prick. But that's just me.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 11
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:02:44 PM

So does 20 lbs really make a diff?

I recently lost some weight, not alot, but 15 lbs...I thought I was getting more attention from the opposite sex, but a friend told me that it was not a significant difference, but rather that I had more confidence & was therefore more approachable...I dunno...to me 15-20 lbs on a person is not a biggie, esp if they are well groomed & dressed & have a nice personality, good character & some intellect...

Congrats on the weight loss. Yeah, I have to agree that on some of us, 20 pounds can be a HUGE difference. 20 pounds on me? That would be adding 1/5 of the current me to me. Where would I put it?? Or rather? Where might it land? I don't wish to know that!! The interesting thing about 20 pounds? On the particular man I date currently? I don't mind that he's a tad over his own perceived "ideal." Other men I've met/dated? It mattered. I think universally ~ most men would say it matters. I could be wrong ~ but 20 pounds is a bit of weight. And maybe it would be viewed differently if that 20 pounds was added via turning fat into muscle or purposefully adding muscle. Maybe it's not the pounds, but what the pounds are made of?? I dunno. Height/weight and who pays for what ~ it's always somethin'.
 larissan04
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 12
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:17:22 PM
i think it depends on how big the person is... on a small person even 5 lbs can make a huge difference...
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 13
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 4:21:54 PM
I am 6 foot tall.

20 pounds on me is nothing compared to 20 pounds on a woman.


20 pounds on a 5'3 or so frame is significant weight gain compared to how it is on my frame...

so ya, if a girl is 20 pounds heavier than I expected....then MOST likely I am not gonna be as attracted to her as I had hoped...
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 14
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 5:11:05 PM

So does 20 lbs really make a diff?

Think about it. If you're 5'4" and 115 lbs, 20lbs is more than 1/6 of your entire body weight, so if you weighed 135 lbs instead, you've added more than 1/6 of your body weight that you don't need. My fiancee lost 25 lbs and she looks completely different and can't even wear a lot of her clothes now. It all depends on how much you weigh to start out. If you weigh 400 lbs, 20lbs won't be noticeable.
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 15
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 5:17:21 PM
On me, 20 lbs. makes one entire size difference. I don't think it makes me hugely unattractive. But, you can see it in my face, thighs, waist. So, depending on the guy, it might make a big difference.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 16
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 5:25:30 PM
you are all beautiful women, so it does not matter


enough said.

Does not matter- the right guy, for you will grab your ass,
kiss you passionately and thank his God
you are with him.


That's all there is to it.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 17
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 6:17:12 PM
^^^^ you will have to excuse me
Mr. Forum Police.

My reading comprehension is slightly
off tonight.

I saw a comment someone made and reacted to
it.

Umm... Would you like to meet for coffee??

We can test out my theory.

Oh um... Op- honey, your beautiful.
 BlaineV
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 18
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:20:34 PM
Well that all depends. I'm 6'1" and weigh in at about 205. I don't consider myself overweight (maybe out of shape I guess). Nevertheless, 185 wouldn't make a bit of difference, but 225 would be much more noticeable.

So just a thought for all you ladies who put the heat on men with your weight problems: how much would you bend the rules in the weight department?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the more effort you make to stay in shape, the more choice you'll have when it comes to attracting men.

Personally, as long as she doesn't weigh more than I do, everything's good. But of course, every rule has an exception or two.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 19
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 8:33:53 PM

Posters keep bringing up height. While height is a major factor I think a more important one is built.



not sure if it is more important - one's build,,,,YET it is important when coupled together.



i have a finite point of ''extra weight'' which when I reach that point of no return i KNOW women are less attracted to me...


with my height and build, I know what that point is and I stay under that point....
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 20
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 11/30/2011 9:07:16 PM

MisterAndy:you are all beautiful women, so it does not matter


Obviously this guy has never actually meet up with anyone offline.

I'd love to be sitting at the next table when he meets his first online date.

"I'm sorry, I was expecting that beautiful woman from POF, are you her sister?"

Been there...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 21
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 12/1/2011 5:59:00 AM
About 3-4 points on your BMI. While that may not sound like much, it is significant.
 femaleconnection
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 22
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 12/1/2011 6:54:48 AM
On someone who was not overweight, you would see a 20 pound gain pretty easily.

If someone is really overweight, you wont notice 20 pounds either way.

If someone os pretty tall, you also may not notice 20 pounds either way.

Our weight, body build and height all play a factor.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 23
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:01:22 AM
And all the posts on here regarding BMI, wtf, do you ask your potential date what their BMI is?


Regardless of what anyone may or may not ask their date, BMI is a metric that is useful in answering the question posed. Nowhere did the OP ask us to restrict our responses to what gets discussed on a date.

I would never ask a date how much she weighs, but that doesn't mean her weight isn't noticed.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 24
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:13:04 AM

It' s really kind of disgusting to think some men do that. Why don't you just go by what you see and if you like what you see? Really wierd.


I suspect you're taking some of the comments too literally. We were asked our opinion about a specific number, the replies are going to reflect that.
 DrumminD
Joined: 2/3/2011
Msg: 25
How much of a difference does 20 pounds REALLY make?
Posted: 12/1/2011 9:32:56 AM
Just don't lose 20 pounds of boob.
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