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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. I      Home login  
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 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 2
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?Page 1 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
B!tches be crazy. That's all I got.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 7
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 1:02:03 PM

I don't even understand it I mean it doesn't make sense to me. How can you seem so happy and make me so happy and then give me this reason for breaking up

Soo, you think all people need to have a logical reason for breaking up?

Ok, how about a wild guess, she found another better offer firefighter that she has been seeing, possibly even one of your "buddies", your captain or your chief, who already has a house..
Logical enough for you? Get your sanity back and get out there and impress those uniform groupies, someone new will be along shortly..
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 8
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 1:04:38 PM

I dont even understand the reason. It's driving me insane.

You're only 25. It's too soon to go insane, since I'm sure this won't be the last time you don't understand why women do things the way they do them. Just accept the fact that she broke up with you and that you don't have to understand why. If she told you something specific, you'd just argue with her and try to convince her she was wrong. Then, you'd be even more frustrated because she'd probably agree with you and then say it doesn't matter. Your best bet to either have her change her mind or move on is to stop all contact with her, no matter how difficult that seems. Then, she'll either have time to miss you or you'll be that much further ahead toward moving on. If you try to stay in contact with her or remain friends, all you'll do is seal your fate and be miserable that much longer.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 12
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 1:30:35 PM
I'm sorry.
I know it hurts.

There are some things that she's not worked out yet.
She's starting too.
And through the process she realized that moving forward and being married to you is not what she really wants.
So she tells you that it sounded good,
it made sense to her at the time,
but she can't follow through
because she is not really in love with you.

She was playing in fantasy land.

Let it go.
Take the time to heal
And another woman will come along.

If she calls you again
I hope you are strong enough to decline
Otherwise you will end up her puppet on a string.

You don't need that.

 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 16
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 2:43:27 PM
Number one cause of giving insane sounding reasons to break up?

[Brrrszzzt, buzzz....DING!]

Met someone else, slept with them already, and doesn't want to admit it.

Also known as BBD syndrome.


Solution: Forget it and MOVE ON.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 17
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 2:46:57 PM
Her excuses might be true, might not be. Doesn't really matter. She doesn't want to be with you anymore. Thats all you really need to know.
You're hurt/angry. You willl get over her. Don't allow her to use you when shes lonely, she'll lose all respect for you. She's stopped seeing you twice, that's once too often.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 20
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 3:13:03 PM

That's when she called me and said she missed me and we began seeing each other again and sleeping together again.

Then, she just became distant again and gave me the same line. "I love you but im not in love with you".

So basically, she wants you when she can't have you and then gets tired of you because she knows she can get you back anytime she wants. If you're going to play that game with her, any time you get together, it has to be on your terms, not hers. I wouldn't expect that to ever amount to a long lasting relationship though.
 jonb34
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 21
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 3:20:12 PM
I think you just said it right there bud. People change... simple as that. Probably when you started seeing each other, there was mystery and excitement, but after 9 months had passed, things started to change and the flame began to flicker. Women don't like it easy and straight up all the time. You can't survive the game throwing fast balls every day... every now and then you have to throw a change up to keep them off guard.

A woman will say she needs someone more affectionate, but if they get someone that is affectionate, they say that they feel smothered. You have to find a middle ground fast and try to maintain that. Be sensitive to her needs, affectionate when the moment calls for it, available - but not at her beckon call.

Have you considered the fact that she found someone else that was giving her something that you were unable to give her? I'm just sayin
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 22
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 3:20:54 PM
You may never get a satisfactory answer. As life goes on, you will find that to be true in many of lifes situations. The time spent together with you after breakup is her way of fulfilling physical needs with someone familiar. You are reading more into it because that is what you want to see.

Cut her off from all that. Stop chasing her. Maybe she will go out and try some different men and decide you were better and come back. Odds are she wont. For the sake of your own sanity, I would chalk this one up as done and move on.
 Rainiqui
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 23
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 3:31:44 PM

So basically, she wants you when she can't have you and then gets tired of you because she knows she can get you back anytime she wants.


Abelian hit the nail on the head. She's obviously trying to trade up and you are there ready, willing and able whenever she hits a dry spell. Summon up some pride and make it a rule that you will NEVER play second violin in someone else's orchestra, especially a nutbar like her.

Trust me, you really don't want this woman.
 RAMPERBILL
Joined: 2/16/2010
Msg: 25
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 3:39:23 PM
Maybe she will go out and try some different men and decide you were better and come back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Looks like she's doing that now. Repeatedly. Whether tomorrow, or 20 years from now (if he waits that long, which he just might), should be "go away."
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 27
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 3:42:32 PM
I've worn your shoes before, the girl who breaks up with you giving you a reason you don't understand.
It is what it is.

You need to break contact with her. Suck it up, man! Stop talking to this B and move forward with your life.

Unless you enjoy your heart roasting on a spit, being yanked off and put back on to roast some more, stop talking with her and MOVE ON!

I'm only saying this because it took me several months of calling her, seeing her on occasion, and sleeping with her when she rang my bell (I was 19).
It sucked.

Don't suck at life like I did, move on.

Edit:
Just read this:

I don't mean to be self-centered or narcissitic (sp.?) but... how could she possibly trade up? I have everything going for me.

She's in college, how could anybody in college be a trade up? I'm just saying. I'm not a self-centered prick like that or anything but it's the truth.


I go back to a quote I read from (google search this) "random thoughts from people our age."
"There is no sense in working hard finish the race in first place. She could still pick the cute guy who finished fourth."

Oh, and by the way, whether she traded up or down, as you so eloquently put it, she traded and that's all you need to know.

College guys have plenty going for them, by the way. If you're "Is she serious?" question is centered around your ego, your ego is easily bruised, my dear friend. As much as chicks love a confident guy, they dislike fragile male egos.

Suck it up and find SOMEONE ELSE. Simple.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 29
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 4:00:42 PM
B!tches be crazy. That's all I got.


sometimes- okay most of the time people talk shit.

They just can't tell you the truth- sometimes
they don't even know why.

But most of the time they do- they think they
are sparing your feelings by talking in circles.

You get confused- go in the corner. Cry. Smoke
some weed. Drink. Shoot up- take your choice.

Some people are cowards.

Write her off. Don't worry, she didn't trade for shit.
She will be back. They always come back. Hopefully
you will have a hotter version you are banging and
you can tell her to fuck off.

Go make beautiful babies with someone else.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 32
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 4:07:18 PM

I don't mean to be self-centered or narcissitic (sp.?) but... how could she possibly trade up? I have everything going for me.

She's in college, how could anybody in college be a trade up? I'm just saying. I'm not a self-centered prick like that or anything but it's the truth.


She is a kid. She is doing what she is supposed to be doing as a young adult. Experiencing life and its variety. Only after she learns from experience will she know whats she NEEDS. Maybe someday in the future she will say "Hey, he was a great guy. I screwed that one up." Maybe she wont. Thats life. It happened thousands of years ago, it will happen a thousand years from now. You think highly of yourself, replacing her surely will be easy.
 Rainiqui
Joined: 10/4/2010
Msg: 34
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 4:16:10 PM

I don't mean to be self-centered or narcissitic (sp.?) but... how could she possibly trade up? I have everything going for me.

She's in college, how could anybody in college be a trade up? I'm just saying. I'm not a self-centered prick like that or anything but it's the truth.


Obviously the criteria you might list on a "significant other" search are not the same as hers. It's really that simple.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 35
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 4:38:45 PM
You can ask yourself this, why does a dog bark? why does fried chicken taste like shit?


I can't believe I missed this on the first try!

Listen honey- no one knows why people do
what they do. They just do.

She will be back.

It's up to you now to hold on to this anger. Get rid
of the kitty litter. It's smelling up the place. New
kitty litter. Always fresh. Don't look back. The
door is closed. Lock it up.

When they leave- they leave again and again and
again. Someone else is waiting in the wings to stroke
that ego. Heal yourself and go find her.

Make a plan now to get on with your life- without
her.

No one likes a flaker.

Let her go.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 38
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 4:58:01 PM
I would advise you to stop trying to rationalize it. It doesn't really matter why she made her decision, all that matters is that she did. It's her life to do with as she pleases.

We've all been through it. It's rough, but eventually you put it behind you.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 40
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 5:39:16 PM

I can't accept it because I just don't buy it.



I will never buy her answer.


You don't have to "buy" her answer, nor do you have to accept her replies or reasoning.

WHAT you DO have to accept is watching her back as she walks away. Wave, say good bye,be nice if ya wanna,but,either/or accept the fact she doesn't wanna be with you anymore. ACCEPT her ACTIONS!!!!!!!!

There is nothing nice or easy when this happens,but, do know, this happens everyday,every hour,maybe even every minute of each day in each year. You can't "make" anyone hang around or stay,,,,unless they want to stay. She doesn't, thus the reason why she has walked.

Want a feel good answer????

"" If you love someone, let them go. If they don't come back,they were never yours"

or sumttin like that.
 SharkBit_N_FL
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 45
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 6:25:50 PM
I was married to a girl I wasn't totally in love with. The marriage suffered, so count your blessings. I'm sorry you really felt love for her, but she would have been miserable, not because of you, but because she knew you weren't THE one, or she just didn't feel "right" about it.
Better luck next time.
If this sounded too cold or cruel... sorry... I didn't mean for it to.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 47
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 6:38:10 PM
I have heard something similar to that as well.

Sounds like she liked the idea of all you represented to her.
a fireman....a stable husband....future kids and stuff....
but after knowing you awhile she just couldn't see doing all that with you.
It's her.
Not you.
Nothing you could have done(or can do) to change that.
Incompatibility trumps all.
She just saw it before you did.
Sorry.

We all have "ideas" of what a perfect mate could be.
Then we find one....and realize we were wrong.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 48
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 7:00:43 PM
Thank God you didnt buy a ring and invest together. Other than that; Aqua dude's got a great answer too.



Find a chick who isn't crazy in the head and heart; and doesnt want uncalled for movie star drama to join your life
 mrmisterme
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 50
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Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 7:02:40 PM
I looked at your profile and noticed that your longest relationship was 1 year long.

This one was 9 months long.

Breakups hurt; we all know that. There's nothing we can say that will make you feel better, but we've all been there and empathize with you.
 JP1111
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 51
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 7:16:29 PM
Welcome to the one of the illusions we sometimes let ourselves believe.

Yes through our lives, we at time choose to believe in something until later when we see that we were way off. Sometimes our friends will know but even if they told us, we would not listen.

So in your situation, she came to see ut before she was in too deep.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 54
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 10:45:05 PM

B!tches be crazy. That's all I got.


hilarious




seriously OP ...when a relatively "'new""woman sheds tears out of the blue....



she ain't shedding 'em 4 U




keep that in ur memory bank...



some other dude that she wanted more than u was/IS on her mind....


and nothing U can do can measure up...


it is what it is brah...
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 55
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 12/5/2011 11:43:16 PM
Op, so sorry you are so confused about things. The only thing I can offer is an explanation about things I have seen with other couples.

When my daughter was 16 she dated a 18 year old for 2 years and at the beginning she was head over heels in love with him, but he let her down on every big event in her life. He made tons of promises and never once delivered and then all at once decided he was a fool and wanted to make it all up to her by asking her to marry him...at this point she lacked a few months of being 18; it totally freaked her out. Their anniversary rolls around and guess what, he had gotten $700 six weeks before and had spent all of it on himself and didn't even have the money to buy them a burger at McDonalds.

She still loved him but she was no longer in love with him, he had just slowly over time not met her expectations while she had exceeded his. She never told him how hurt she was over the things he did, she kept it in and suffered thru it, I explained to her after how wrong it was not to tell someone you are in relationship with when they do something that upsets you and just be mad about it; but hey she was young.

See rather than fight and fuss about things, some people will let you do things over and over that they resent or that makes them angry and eventually that will destroy their feelings for you...they aren't going to **** at you for leaving your dirty clothes everywhere, or for forgetting important dates/things...they figure if they are important to you, these type of things wont happen...so after a bit, even tho they might love you they will one day realize they are no longer in love with you...and generally it is another guy who motivates them to see how poorly you were actually being....

I know it is easy to say *women flake out, or they are happy one minute and then next they have become bipolar and flipped out and left but if you look honestly at all of your behavior you will see where things you did or didn't do slowly eroded her feelings for you.
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