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 beck81363
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 1
Fast - mutual - and now extinct Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Met a guy here. Texted for a few weeks. Flirty. Decided to meet, talked and was very physical (good).

I thought to myself - I like this guy. Not love, not oh this is the one, nothing serious. Just thought might have potential. Liked a lot about him - and most of it surprised me.

Anyway, we talked before about my holiday party and him going with me, just for fun. When I contacted him the Monday after the Saturday that we met - nothing. I tried again and he responded (all text) said he didn't know we decided to be serious. I kind of apologized because I didn't mean serious by it.

I said, he said. And nothing since. Not heard from him at all.
I want to see him again. I won't stalk him.

I know we moved fast, but all seemed good maybe great. Will I ever know the dumb thing I did? I haven't tried tio call or text at all.
 walkingtall38
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 2
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/8/2011 11:06:30 PM
Too fast in my opinion. Although for him to completely shut you down after that sounds like he wasn't really into it anyways. Not sure it would have mattered what speed you went at.
 StraylightRunn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 3
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 1:21:27 AM
I'm going out on a limb to guess he couldn't take the fact that you lived in Missouri but were a Kansas fan. Deep down it grated on his nerves that people could like or love such a horrible college, and quite simply...he's blown you off. Just another reason why Kansas sucks, they ruin your relationships.
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 4
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 1:32:33 AM
I had a message that said "Let's meet."

I said "Where?" and never heard back from him. LOL Maybe it shocked him that a woman was willing to meet and he didn't have anything to wear.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 5
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History
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 3:19:54 AM
God man.

So what if you slept with him. Your a big
girl.

He flaked. He just flaked.

Fast, hot and heavy, burning bright sometimes
means fire burns fast, hot and bright.

It's okay. You liked him. He flaked.

He will contact you again- when he stops
hyperventilating and feeling trapped by his
penis having it's own mind.

Do not feel bad about what you did and don't
let the first date sex Nazis make you feel bad.
You did what you felt- hey you have feelings.
You felt it was right. A mistake- please, we all
do stupid shit but at the time feels right.

Age does not equal common sense. Rash decisions
are always made in the heat of the moment.
Age does not equate anything other than we have
been on this earth longer than others.

Don't wait around for a flake. He showed you
who he is. He gets no more of your time or
body.

Move away from it and learn that sometimes
lust gets us in trouble. :)
 A_Gent
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 6
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:15:46 AM
Would it help if he gave you an itemized list of why he isn't interested in a second date?

You had a fling.. a one night stand..

Your profile says you want to date but nothing seriously... he seems to have taken you at your word.
 AquanGold
Joined: 11/22/2010
Msg: 7
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:17:13 AM
You put the guy in a corner, expected way too much from a person you hardly knew, and now you`re wondering why he ran away?
You want to invite him to your Xmas party and did you wonder what he felt? He did you a huge favor, i`d consider myself lucky. You overpowered him and wanted INSTANT RELATIONSHIP....
That wasn`t very nice of you and your plan backfired...Next time, take things in a slow and normal progression..
Lesson learned..
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 8
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:34:28 AM
LOL

It just gets better all the time.

back on topic: I did not read that OP had full on sex, just that it got physical. I also did not see how she pressured him too much too fast. She had a party and invited him, he declined in a rather immature manner. She apologized for the misunderstanding. Now he's gone. Why? OP, you may never know. Even if he told you, he could be lying to himself as much as you. He might ACTUALLY be busy in over his head, or any number of other reasons.

If you want to see him again, send him a text, since that is how you feel comfortable communicating, saying "I'd like to see you again." If he doesn't answer or flakes, you have your answer. If you feel that the lack of contact on his part puts you in a position of begging, at this point, and you just can't do it, then don't do it. I suspect that he will contact you again with some kind of excuse and it could very well be a valid excuse. All you can do is all that you can do. Relax. There are a lot of great guys out there, if not him, there will be someone else.

As far as knowing what dumb thing you did, the only dumb thing you did is fussing about not knowing what dumb thing that you did.

I like the word Nazi, anytime hatefulness is a part of someone's philosophy, it fits, not all of them were murderers, afterall, just haters.
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 9
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History
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:39:06 AM
So cool to call people names because they disagree with you. How mature. You realize that is using a logical fallacy: staw man. Has nothing to do with you providing any solid basis for an position, only that you can call people whose opinion you disagree with a name, a horrendous name btw--Nazi--and feel you've said something worthwhile. You haven't.


your kidding. This is your contribution to
this thread- to slap me on the wrist for
using the word "Nazi".

You apparently don't know I'm an attention whore
and you doing this just brings more attention
to me. Which by the way strokes my giant ego-
which everyone here will tell you I have. Huge.




Wow.

How about this- go back to bed and get back up.

She doesn't deserve to be put on a spit and roasted
for doing something she felt at the time was right

How about this too- don't copy and paste me-
contribute to the thread.

I'm sure you have deeper thoughts than this.

Op- good luck honey.


I like the word Nazi, anytime hatefulness is a part of someone's philosophy, it fits, not all of them were murderers, afterall, just haters.

;)
 beck81363
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 10
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:43:18 AM
Great outlook! Life just shouldn't be taken that seriously. Thanks.
 beck81363
Joined: 11/19/2011
Msg: 11
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:45:45 AM
Well Said. "It's okay. You liked him. He flaked. " Enough Said.
Thanks.
 BountyHunterMike
Joined: 10/5/2011
Msg: 12
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:55:58 AM
He is done.....so now you move on
 FyrKrakn
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 13
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 4:57:33 AM
um EXCUSE me curly, my ego is WAY bigger than yours.
You just need to get over yourself.....
 Kitten189
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 14
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 5:08:09 AM
Sorry,Op,but it sounds like he got what he wanted(as did you)and now he's moved on.........
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 15
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History
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 5:22:06 AM

um EXCUSE me curly, my ego is WAY bigger than yours.
You just need to get over yourself.....


Okay Fry - I can share the spotlight. Its big enough for both of us!!

Im really not all this bad.... okay I am.

Op - Ahh honey. Posting intimate stuff here is like throwing shit
against a wall - sometimes something sticks -you read something thats useful.

Good luck to ya honey.
 AnEvilgenius
Joined: 11/8/2011
Msg: 16
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 5:36:41 AM
Damn it man! Once again Curlygrl hit the nail on the head before I got a chance to grab my hammer.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 17
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 6:50:17 AM
I tried again and he responded (all text) said he didn't know we decided to be serious


If going to a holiday party with you means you are serious to this guy; he's a flake.

Don't sweat it; and view buddy as an appetizer for your life.


I did not read that OP had full on sex, just that it got physical


You're supposed to know one thing, assume 45 and call it truth.

Its the in thing


 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 18
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:35:13 AM

I did not read that OP had full on sex, just that it got physical. I also did not see how she pressured him too much too fast. She had a party and invited him, he declined in a rather immature manner. She apologized for the misunderstanding.


^^^^^^Maybe I am missing something but I read the same thing............hopefully the OP will be back to clear that up.......

OT.......sounds like the guy just flaked because you asked him to your party........or either something better came along...........
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 19
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:37:57 AM
hey, u had some fun learned a lesson, chalk it up to a new experience & move forward...
 *army mom*
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 20
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:40:25 AM
Sounds like he was looking for an excuse to end it and it latched on something you joked about, put his personal spin on it, and that was his out. Happens on the time on here.

Unless by "physical" you meant you had sex with the guy. Then all bets are off. If you didn't have sex with him, maybe he just legitimately freaked because it was going too fast.

Either way, I wouldn't bother calling or texting him. If he was interested, he would have kept up some dialog after you apologized.
 carptopus
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 21
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 7:45:31 AM

I haven't tried tio call or text at all.

I'd try texting one of these two things and see what happens:
1. Hey, I would like to have sex again. You free Monday?
2. I'm going to Applebee's, you hungry?

And then refrain from saying anything else via text except to answer any questions he has.
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 22
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 8:35:19 AM
A Gent:

"You had a fling.. a one night stand..

Your profile says you want to date but nothing seriously... he seems to have taken you at your word."

I don't mean to be offensive to the OP, but I don't find "I'm not at all serious, but why isn't he more serious?" to be quite the quandary that some posters do. There was another thread where a woman had been sort of dating this guy for a year without physical intimacy (or any other form of intimacy, insofar as I could tell) and was miffed because his kiss goodnight wasn't all that passionate and he had also shown some interest in another woman. Go figure? (Scratching head.)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 23
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:32:46 AM

Texted for a few weeks. Flirty. Decided to meet, talked and was very physical (good).


There's the root of the problem. Texting is not real communicating. He could be anybody he wants you to believe behind a screen and texting is juvenile. Second problem is you two did it for a few weeks. You waited too long to meet. Endless texting builds up hopeless fantasies of meeting the sexiest person in the world. Third problem is "Flirty" texts. Are you 16? Is dirty talk texts with a stranger a turn on for you? Fourth problem is getting physical at first contact. Enough said.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 24
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 9:46:55 AM
~OP~ Funny thing about people? When you mention physicality and that it was early on? The majority will say "you moved too fast." I don't agree. The only long-term relationships I've had in my entire adult life have started with a date that went immediately into dating exclusively (one lead to marriage, two were long term living together situations.) This being my MO (so to speak) since I was 20 years old. Today is no different for me. I'm not a sex on the first date person, but I certainly have no issue turning "exclusive" quickly to see what may or may not develop. You met him, had indicated you weren't seeking seriousness and he agreed. Nothing more than that. Let it go, it happens. I see nothing wrong with inviting someone to a function if you enjoy one another, regardless of how long you've known one another. That's just placing rules on something that really doesn't need any rules and the worse thing that can happen? They decline the invite...oh well!!!! Do it how you feel comfortable. JMO
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 25
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History
Fast - mutual - and now extinct
Posted: 12/9/2011 10:02:05 AM
Something very similair ( involved noo texting) happened to me awhile back................ OP. Listen.

I tracked him down because I was clueless... and it turned out he had a serious girlfriend ( who was out of town) and plans to marry ( he didn't tell me) and they married a few months later. I guess I was his fling. Maybe the same with you too and maybe he also has a girlfriend and planning to be married to her soon, sowing his last wild oat?

I call him wild oat guy :)

repeat after me:
never sleep with these guys, not only dangerous to your physical and emotional health, but also you will save yourself the confusion. Don't sleep with them, let them be the ones who are confused.
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