|Giving up?Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4)|
|Just a question. Has anyone else ever felt like jut giving up on the "dating scene"? I'm only 21 and I'm at the point that I just want to say screw it and just not try anymore. I mean, my longest relationship with anyone has been only five months. It's almost like something about drives them all away, or is it that I might just be looking in the wrong places. I haven't dated anyone for about a year now, and I'm not here to find someone, just came here to read the forums and stuff, but I'm just in this mood that I just want to give up. I can see myself in the future being old and by myself for some reason. Probably a self esteem issue, but I think it's kind of weird to be thinking this at a young age like this, has anyone else ever felt like just giving up?|
Posted: 11/5/2004 8:59:50 AM
|I totally hear you blue.. I had given up as well, I went three years of being single...i thought it was hopeless no one intrigued me enough to even stay with longer than a month...I scoffed in the face of those couples who said they were in love id say "theres no such thing as love or romance" .... |
I totally did give up no one could get close to me, i pushed anyone who liked me a little away....
Then heftymon came along we talked for months over the internet and on the phone, 4 months later we met up and im so thrilled i didnt push this one away cause hes the one.
Give it time it will happen..
The more negatively you think though the more you push people away..
trust me i know i did it for years.
Posted: 11/5/2004 10:24:40 PM
|Mystical: I kinda figured I was too young to be giving up. It's like I just don't have the energy to even give it a little effort anymore. Hopefully, it's just a phase kinda thing that I'll be over in no time at all.|
Hefty: It's not that I'm actually looking for the love of my life, it's just that I've been alone so long that maybe I'm just used to it. Too many things have happened in the past that I'm just a little paranoid sometimes that I might screw things up. The one love of my life, I totally screwed everything up with her. She made me feel like no one has ever done for me, and lets just say I was stupid and let that one get away from me. Luckily, we are best friends now and I'm just happy to have her in my life still.
Limo: Well, I'm glad to hear that someone else went through what I'm going through now. I'm also glad to hear that things turned around for you and you found someone that you love to be with. That, I guess you could say, gives me hope for my future.
MrSherman: Never thought about the whole money saving aspect of not dating. I guess that's one thing that's good that comes out of it. Yes, I do hope to be a father one day, but with the right person. I don't want my child to run the risk of not having a good father. I would rather kill myself than run the risk of some other guy raising my child the wrong way. Not saying that if that were the case, whatever guy she chooses is going to do the wrong thing, but I know there are a lot of men and women out there that are just not good at that kind of thing. Like the other day i was watching a maury type of show and the father of this poor child threw the kid out of the window of a moving car, crazy stuff I tell you. But that's just one thing I wouldn't be able to live with.
Thanks for taking the time to read and post everyone, but what do you think, maybe its just a phase im going through, or is it because I've been out of the dating scene for awhile and am just loosing a little hope on everything?
Posted: 11/6/2004 11:58:12 PM
|Yeah, maybe thats all it takes, a good swift kick in the but. I don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself though, or then again, maybe I am. I don't know to tell you the truth. Just not too long ago, I had an oppurtunity to get back together with an ex of mine, but she just got out of a bad relationship and i didn't think it was time for us. That might be part of the problem, i want to, but I don't think I should. Maybe on a sub-concious level I'm keeping myself available as a just in case type of thing, and that might be why i just don't feel like looking right now. Who knows, maybe i should just forget about it and start looking again. And if things work out really good, I'll have forgotten all about her. |
Posted: 11/7/2004 3:18:34 PM
|Hey blue i just wanted to add |
i think that the way in which you replied to all of us in your forum was awesome.
that is the first time ive seen someone show that they read what we all said and actually addressed what was written....
I just thought it was really cool, its nice to know people actually read what we write, I hope some of my advice helps you, and like I said Ive been there you ever need to talk to anyone just give me a shout.......
Posted: 11/7/2004 11:59:30 PM
|Limo: Yeah, I'll keep that in mind. I try to take into consideration what everyone suggested. I figure that if you took the time to read and answer on my post, i should respond to what you have to say. And it's all good advise, which is why I consider it all when I reply. And thank you, I will be sure to give you a shout if I ever need someone to talk to.|
sumtingkewt: I kinda, sorta in a way know how you feel about loosing someone you loved very much. For me, like I said in an earlier post, I lost my chance with the one that I had a "real" realtionship with. I mean, we are still very good friends and all, but I just don't know that if I tried to rekindle things between us, if it would work as good as it started. I just hope that I don't give up for long. Lately, I've found that I'm keeping myself busy to try to keep this stuff off my mind, but eventually, I hate to say it, I'm going to run out of things to do. I have a pretty good job right now, and school will only take up part of my time(it'll be night school), but you're right, I'm trying to get into some sort of hobby to try to meet some people out there, I just got to figure out what it is I want to do.
WS6TA: Well, I guess what I'm trying to do is find something to do where I can meet people. So maybe I'm starting to try a little right now again. I haven't tried too awfully hard for a few months now, but something is better than nothing. Like the other night, a friend dragged me to a club, just went there to get a couple of drinks really. But it's getting out and meeting people. I'm just hoping that one morning I wake up and just feel like giving it another try some time soon.
Studio: Rejection is something most peopl, if not all, don't like. I have a friend that's so afraid of it that it keeps him from talking to any women hardly at all. We were at a club and he really wanted to talk to this girl he saw there, but what stopped him was that he was thinking that it was going to go horribly. His excuse was that he doesn't know how to talk to women. I told of a few things he could do to break the ice, but he is just so affraid that things will go wrong, he does nothing instead. Me on the other hand, I am not really affraid of rejection, if they say no, means they're not interested in me so i move on. Does not bug me if they say no, i don't ask why or anything like that, I find it better to not even let it bug me and move on.
And again, thanks to everyone for replying. Who knows, I could wake up tommorrow and feel like it's the day to try again. Thanks for the best wishes and the offer for the open ear sumting and Limo.
Posted: 11/8/2004 12:36:26 AM
|Maybe I'm just bull headed, but I never give up. So if the saying is true, I will never find love, because I'm always looking.|
Posted: 11/8/2004 1:41:01 AM
|I don't think anybody ever gives up, just a bit of frustration venting here and there.|
Posted: 11/9/2004 10:16:47 PM
|Well, I have to ask myself one question, why in the world was I even thinking it? Everyone here has brought up some very good points. Some said to not try and it'll come looking for me, and others said that I should really try hard, just in a nutshell. The first person to post here said that I was way too young to start giving up, and I agree. I should keep looking, but not too hard, cause that's when people start trying to force things and it ends up bad. But, on the other hand, just sitting around waiting for is not the best idea either. Giving up is the worst thing anyone can do when it comes to this, and I see that now. Last night, I talked to my friend(now girlfriend), and we talked until the sun came up. She was kind of feeling the same way as me, didn't want to try anymore. Her last break up really hurt her, but she said she realized that there may have been an answer sitting right in front of her the whle time. She realized it was time to move on and forget about the jerk who did her wrong. That night we got together and had a serious talk about everything. We had dated before(she was the one that got away)and I asked for one more chance. I was stupid before and just didn't communicate with her the way I should have, and I didn't see it until it was too late. I found out that all this time she had wished it had worked out, so I made told her that I was very sorry for everything wrong I had done in the past and I had beleived I changed a lot since then. And I have, although they haven't worked out too good, I have been more open in my relationships since her. So we ended up getting back together, and I feel so wonderful again, like the first time we had dated. She's the only one who has ever made me feel this way, and I really think that it will work this time around. So, it took both of us aat least trying a little to start this up again when we both were thinking bout giving up, kinda funny if you ask me. |
I thank you for all the advice you guys gave me. To tell you the truth, there was a point at which I just wanted to shut everyone out of my life, then I came here and that feeling went away. If I hadn't come here and gotten the advice, things would've never worked out the way they did last night. Limo, when it came down to it, I thought about what you had to say. "The more negatively you think though the more you push people away..", I think that's what really helped me last night, so I thought about the positives about what could happen, and talked to her, things went great. Shawn, you said you would tell me when you figured it all out, well, here's a little advice, try getting to know them before you try to date, I know that seems like a lot of work, but in the end, if you're really looking for a serious one, then it's all worth it. And klynnk, don't give up, whatever you do. What;s the saying I used to hear in high school, "My mom didn't rasie a quitter" lol. But thankls to everyone hear, I really appreciate it.
Posted: 7/16/2005 12:58:01 AM
|I gave up a long time ago.|
Posted: 7/16/2005 4:58:54 AM
|yes I think we all have been there....when I feel at that time when nothing seems to be goin' right...I go within...I spend alot of time alone...breath! Enjoy what time you have....|
.......its time to find you...
Posted: 7/16/2005 2:30:08 PM
|I really appreciate that you hefty and you limo came forth,I am Like blue,ready|
to give up.
See blue,never give up,you're still young,and like hefty said,some people try to hard!
My problem is lack of self confidence,wich I'm working on,and I'm not willing to
give up just yet,and seing hefty and limo in here,only made me that much
Thanks hefty and limo,for posting,this has helped me out a lot!!! Knight Rider!
Posted: 7/16/2005 9:01:09 PM
|offmyrockers,being alone sucks,it does have it's advantage though,but I would |
prefer to be in the arms of a loving woman who seeks the same as me,a loving
relationship that just keeps on growing!!!
So,I will never give up,even if I get discouraged,I will keep looking!!!!
Posted: 7/16/2005 9:15:00 PM
|You're 21. try the library, or something else less upscale, maybe someone in your same intrest groups. Oh, and whats the rush anyway.|
Posted: 7/16/2005 9:41:49 PM
|Holly you're very sweet,and your thread was a great read,but sometimes it takes|
a kick in the butt by someone to kickstart the old heart again!!!
I'm trying,really I am,I just have no one to talk to is all,very depressing!
Posted: 7/17/2005 5:56:08 AM
<----- insanely optimistic
Posted: 7/21/2005 1:25:48 AM
|I gave up searching a long time ago. I certainly made a great effort, but what I began to realize is that I was expending too much energy trying to find an outside entity to make me happy. If you are looking for someone or some THING to make you happy, you are already in trouble. Happiness must be found and nurtured from within; the only thing that you should be hoping for is that an external entity can ADD to your happiness, not create it in totality.|
I think that is one of the biggest problems with dating and relationships. People are basing all of their hopes and dreams on the acquisition of the external, and when they gain it and it does'nt live up to their over-inflated expectations, they are crushed, and this disappointment can last a lifetime for some.
The best thing you can do is not make the gaining of a romantic relationship the driving force behind your existence; you should view it as only part of the whole, an important part but still just a part. In short, if you have a ton of other issues and unfulfilled areas in your life, no one thing on earth (be it something material or another human being) is going to fix it all.
Posted: 7/21/2005 1:33:38 AM
|Nope...just taking a temporary break|
Posted: 11/18/2006 7:58:57 PM
|I wil be honest, I do at times feel like giving up , like I do now. Sometimes from reading some of the profiles or the posts even you feel discouraged and it gets even alittle depressing.|
I still have hope that that one for me is out there.
Posted: 1/3/2008 7:03:39 PM
|why is it so hard to find someone that isn't just looking for a good time and also not into few extra pounds,me i am just about to give up myself maybe its cause i am trying to hard.|