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 Jsfate
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 1
Surviving POF eventsPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
If alone and go to a POF event and approaching new people is hard in huge crowds and smiling right off the bat is also hard. what might be the best bet or option here?(and POF Stop f_uckin erasing stuff I put up here its irritating when other people put worse off that DO appear as Pity me Crap
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 2
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/17/2011 10:37:04 PM
I suggest the better option is to engage in a small crowd and introduce yourself. Even pick just one person who also looks lost.

I imagine most people at POF events are single....thats the whole point of them.....to meet new people and possibly a match.
 Jsfate
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 3
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/18/2011 1:59:12 AM
I honestly wish I had at least tried, however the sound level was over the top for me and I get harder to hear with stuff like that. also it beats the idea of a bag on my head lmfao I mean wow
 dixiesthrnstar68
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 4
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/19/2011 9:38:35 AM
I agree. The two events that I have been to that are not at the same location or same group seem to already know one another. I find that people are in cliques and it makes it even more difficult to approach them. I would think that regulars would be more welcoming. I mean, at some point and time we are all new to this. You just need to think back to that time and you felt walking in with most everyone is seperated in to groups that have known each other for a while.

There's an event coming up right down the street from where I live and I'm a little nervous about attending. I'll be flying solo.

 Jsfate
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 5
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/19/2011 8:36:20 PM
good luck? I'm starting to wonder if I'll face this cliques every where I go, I say this cause of having lived in so many places and ending up starting fresh, I haven't a clue how to start new and people have said simply, go up, state name with a hello and see how it goes. mean while, for the current time I only have a gym as a source of something to do, enjoy doing it. but the area and people most likely know each other so Im a lil sol haha. that and so many things would be asked even if I got to the brief point of getting to talk with someone, questions would arise and I'd be jammed in a rock n hard spot as the saying goes.
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 6
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/19/2011 9:00:56 PM
I made a very long comment before but timed out so I lost it. Basically what I said was:

My previous post said small groups or someone alone. Why would someone be alone at an event to which they're invited? Social ignorance!!!

Ive been to many occasions (not POF) where the only one I knew was the person who invited me. The host was aware and greeted me .......at first.

I approached groups of people and introduced myself to which I was often greeted with looks and one word replies not matter what I said. I went ( and still do) , go into sarcastic mode. "Well thanks for the conversation, nice meeting you too and pardon me for rudely interrupting your lives!"

Often someone breaks away from the group and apologises. Why would I want to know them anyway? Be yourself , enjoy yourself and thank God you're not ignorant and immature like them!!
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 7
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/19/2011 9:08:38 PM
I haven't a clue how to start new and people have said simply, go up, state name with a hello and see how it goes.


As an add on to my post.....what helps....if people will actually listen......is to quietly listen to what they're talking about and if you have something in common....work etc, you can join in and ask questions about themselves. People love to talk about themselves and surprisingly you may find you have lots of things in common!

"Excuse me but I couldnt help overhearing. I used to work there......I also know so and so....I was in Hawaii last month too. Did you go to Ocean View restaurant too? How bad was the food.......etc"

Good luck and I know how you feel........ :)
 Jsfate
Joined: 10/25/2011
Msg: 8
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/20/2011 7:23:22 PM
timeouts are a pain in the rump haha. I know it most likely would never happen, but to be spotted by someone locally, who would be daring to approach and see what I'm like and then do the whole lending of a hand in the helping way and change would follow soon after if that makes sense. eaves dropping you mean? lol from as a kid my mother would often say"if your going to listen, be sure to get it all" or close to the lines of the such haha. you say you know how I feel? I'd almost be fairly sure you have a job and haven't moved around a lot. I'm not a church go'er type which has been suggested a few times by family but it isn't what I'm into. even though it was a idea I'd be game for hawii -grin go back to summer! thanks though!


(uh do profiles really sell much with this whole chance at meeting another to then hopefully eye to eye meet up's?) sorry for asking in the wrong spot its just when I try to post a question it's deleted right after)
 dixiesthrnstar68
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 9
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/25/2011 10:44:55 AM
I couldn't agree more with Holly and I believe that you have given excellent advice to me and others.

Holy wrote: "I approached groups of people and introduced myself to which I was often greeted with looks and one word replies not matter what I said. I went ( and still do) , go into sarcastic mode. "Well thanks for the conversation, nice meeting you too and pardon me for rudely interrupting your lives!"

You are correct, Holly. Usually, someone will break away from the group and approach you. I would not like for someone to have THAT as a first impression of me!

I will be going to my first POF event on Monday, December 26th SOLO. This is a new venue for this side of town and it's their 3rd event, so I will be on the outside looking in for some of the cliques. HOWEVER, I plan on being very observant. I will look for women who may also be standing or sitting by themselves. I will also approach a few men as well. I think that introducing yourself and asking if they are here for the POF event is a good idea. It could be someone outside of the website and event. However, you never know...maybe they are there alone to watch the big football game and the stars and planets will align. lol

I'm going to suck it up and go. I'm a confident woman and I'm outgoing. I can do this! :-/

Wish me luck and I promise to report back to you guys.

~Dixie
 dixiesthrnstar68
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 10
Surviving POF events
Posted: 12/25/2011 10:46:10 AM
When is your next POF event coming up darlin'?

~Dixie
 liladelmar
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 11
Surviving POF events
Posted: 1/3/2012 1:48:47 PM
dont go if it becomes a drain on you .
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 12
Surviving POF events
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:45:33 PM

I'm going to suck it up and go. I'm a confident woman and I'm outgoing. I can do this


Way to go girl!! Best of luck. Ya never know unless you try.

Im sure there's hundreds of people out there on POF or otherwise who wished they had the confidence you do. Let us or me know how you went. My contact settings will allow you. :)
 DebrahLynn
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 13
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 1/11/2012 10:22:38 AM
We all could say the same thing !Just get out and be around with people .Know that you are out and not sitting at home .

Don't be looking for any thing ,Just enjoy the moment .The more you are out to the pof events you well in time get to know people .

Some people are their for other wrong reason know it does not work out .

Go and have a good time, be positive people are their for the same reason just get out !Enjoy !!!!
 JAXDiver
Joined: 6/4/2011
Msg: 14
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:16:35 AM
Holly,

Sarcasm is a fine art. Instead of seemingly burning bridges as soon as things don't go the way in which you had desired, let me suggest an alternate approach. Stay in the group and allow the conversation to continue. If it doesn't, simply ask if you had made a mistake and found the mime convention instead of the POF event. If you can get a laugh WITH your sarcasm, then the conversation should flow and you're in! This should work for the OP as well.

Another note: Holly said,

I made a very long comment before but timed out so I lost it.
.

If you are using Firefox, I know you can log in again and then use the go back page (top left arrow) until you find what you had written again and then hit send or continue your thought, if necessary. It has happened to me so many times that I'm glad I know this trick and I'll probably have to use it to get this message posted. LOL

Happy New Year to all!
 Milnoc514
Joined: 1/15/2012
Msg: 15
Surviving POF events
Posted: 1/29/2012 11:41:52 AM
Your first POF event can be like a school dance during your teenage years! You can be a complete nervous wreck! But once you get over your first event, the other ones should be much easier.

That's pretty much how I felt like at my first Montreal POF event last Friday. But despite my shyness and reluctance to go to social gatherings, I somehow got the courage to strike a conversation with two lovely ladies, and spent the night chatting with one of them about all kinds of subjects.

I had a wonderful time! I'll definitely show up at the next event! I might even dare to dance!

One piece of advice. It's okay to look around before approaching anyone, but if you want to be approachable yourself, do put on a bit of a happy face! It's a happy event! If you put on a frown, I won't feel like talking to you at all. Watch the people dance! That cheered me up just enough to be very much approachable.

Have fun!

(Yes, I'll fix my avatar! )
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 16
Surviving POF events
Posted: 1/31/2012 6:08:06 PM
Go to the POF Get togethers towards the bottom of the forum title page. It shows events organised. :)
 ConnCat
Joined: 10/28/2011
Msg: 17
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 2/5/2012 7:21:14 AM
I've been getting POF event invites for a few months now. At first, I thought, no f**ing way! Cattle Call for the Desperate! But the more I think, the more it starts to make sense. After all, everyone is there for the same reason, and most of them are as apprehensive as you are. So just going up to someone you dig makes perfect sense, since they are also hoping to talk to someone. Unlike, say, a bar, where not everyone is necessarily there to meet someone. (Imagine that: Being at a bar and not wanting to meet someone.) So, since I'm not a bar guy anymore (gave up drinking years ago), I think I may give an event a try!
 Mikmik67
Joined: 1/10/2012
Msg: 18
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 2/23/2012 10:44:14 AM
Try a bag over your head. It's a good conversation starter.
Bahahaha.... I think it could work.
 HappyRocker
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 19
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 2/24/2012 12:03:54 PM
I went to "Meet" with another dating site about a year ago. I found it to be a "Twitter Contest" ... the one with the most followers wins.

One of the women (48yrs) even had a guy in tow who had moved from Adelaide to Brisbane to be near her and he obviously thought that he was "with her". Another women (46 yrs) had an on going relationship with a guy from NSW who wasn't there ... so maybe it wasn't so ongoing at the time. The third women was a 20 year old "apprentice of these two older women. She did the "get drunk, move next to and sling her leg over my leg" thing with me and another guy, both of us old enough to be her father. In fact from what she said, I would say getting a boyfriend older than her father was a button she wished to push on dear old Dad.

I opted out.

However, I've been on a POF motorbike rally. That was really good. I didn'tmeet a soulmate but I met some nice people and had a great ride through beautiful country side.

I would say to survive, don't get drunk (but stay loose), stay alert (but not paranoid), listen to what people are saying (to you), use the info gathered to make sensible decisions on who has similar wants and needs to yourself. Don't make desicions on look alone Above all, try to stay dignified.
 ChancesRMD
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 20
Surviving POF events
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:19:40 PM
I've thrown several POF socials and attended some others even in other cities. It's doubtful I'll meet someone for a LTR in a far off place, but you have something in common (Single and on POF), and I always have a good time.

Don't worry about the cliques. Have some compassion. They are just insecure and need their blankets to make them feel better.

A good host/ess will take measures to better ensure a good time for all. For example making sure the music is not too loud, there are frequest breaks to better allow socializing and music to satisfy everyones tastes. I always like to employ a few social butterflies to give a little mudge to get people warmed up.

On a personal level. I break the ice by just introducing myself. Hi I'm ____ They tell you who they are and you tell them how nice it was to meet them. Then on to the next. The next time you tun into them you would have already met and it's so much easier to break right in where you left off.
 Holly63
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 21
Surviving POF events
Posted: 2/29/2012 7:15:33 PM

Don't worry about the cliques. Have some compassion. They are just insecure and need their blankets to make them feel better.


Love it!!!!

Be yourself and if they don't like it, their loss. :)
 Crowbird45
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 22
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 3/2/2012 1:37:39 AM
I think a fun thing to do at an event if your nervous, is find someone more outgoing than you and introduce yourself to them, and see if you can get them to help you set up an impromtu dance contest. An Emote Smilie dance contest! I wanna try and dance like these little guys! , , , , , ,

Now these guys look like they are having a good time! Bring your smart phone, so you can look at the smilies and remind yourself how the dance moves go, and oh!.. Use same said phone to take a video of the contest! POF has some awesome smilies!

This will be a great way to make a Fool of yourself! grin
 Crowbird45
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 23
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Surviving POF events
Posted: 3/2/2012 1:49:31 AM
Oh! Be sure to practice a bit before going to the event, or you might cave under the pressure.

I think I like this guy best! Reminds me of getting out of the shower, and this guy probly has a towel drying off the back side.
 BeachGirlSparkles
Joined: 8/17/2011
Msg: 24
Surviving POF events
Posted: 3/23/2012 8:14:31 AM
I think it's a great idea to find the host/hostess immediately. They're there to help and probably already know a few people there. He/she can get you started by introducing you to a couple people until you feel comfortable to wing it.

Don't give up! Go, and have fun trying!
 Roses_are_Pink
Joined: 3/13/2012
Msg: 25
Surviving POF events
Posted: 3/30/2012 12:13:21 AM
Don't go alone!
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