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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.      Home login  
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 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 4
Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.Page 1 of 1    
stop being so insecure & just enjoy being w/ her...you sound like a girl analyzing things...she sounds very cool & laid back, most men would kill for that...i think the problem lies in your head...don't mess it up
PS-take her out again, don't just hang out @ her apartment, that gets old
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 9
Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.
Posted: 12/14/2011 9:02:26 AM
What she means(or at least what I mean when I use the same words) is that if she just wants a fook, she has no problem hopping in the sack. However, if she is interested in more than just a fook from a man, she will not sleep with him right away.

Exactly. It's not a "game". "Games" aren't defined as thoughts & feelings the other person has that you don't like.

Does this mean she's just looking for sex?

She's open for a fling (sexually based; casual), but she's also open, but hesitant & unexperienced, to getting into a relationship with. If one's too picky (for better or worse) about getting into an relationship destined for LTR, doesn't mean they're going to be celibate in the mean-time, nor should they be expected to.

I will also mention that she says she finds it hard to verbally express her feelings and I feel things are very one sided, it's usually me making all the effort to contact her or make plans.

Basically it's like this:
- She's not that into you, and that's what you don't like. Some girls take a WHILE to be that into a non-super-hunky-guy, and aren't too comfortable being in Date-Mode from the get-go.
- She finds it flattering that you like her a lot, but she's not wanting a relationship with you dude; especially if you're still "chasing"
- You don't like that and think she's "playing games"
- If your intent wasn't chasing-relationship with her from the get-go, yeah, you could have a casual thing going on where you would have sex; but that's not what you want -- but you can't force a gal to want you for a relationship or go down that alley quickly.

There's two ways of "Taking it Slow": Physically and Emotionally. She takes it slow for the latter, as some people do, and don't mind opening it up on the former.

You're trying to win her over, and you're the one wanting to play "games" to do it. Don't. Don't be so into her. Put the ball in her court if she wants to hang out again, or hit her up to meet up with a group of friends. Make it casual w/o expectations if you really want her... but to do so without driving yourself nuts, you'll have to understand that NO, she's not that into you. If you're too uptight about that, then pretty much just put the ball in her court and walk away (and don't expect her to be hitting you up).
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 10
Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.
Posted: 12/14/2011 11:53:50 AM

During random conversation, I mentioned that she doesn't seem like someone who is "easy" sexually. She laughed and said she was, but she was not "easy" when it came to a relationship. Then told me that if she wanted to have sex with me then she would have, but if she wanted something else that she wouldn't right away.

It means that if she considers a guy to be more than just a boy toy, she wants to get to know him a lot more before she sleeps with him, whereas if he has no other redeeming qualities and is JUST A boy toy, she doesn't care to learn anything else about him as it's not relevant in that situation. It means she considers you more than just sexually attractive since she wanted to wait.
 Pretty RI Lady
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 11
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Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.
Posted: 12/14/2011 7:02:03 PM
A few of these girls have missed the point you said. The girl you're with IS easy sexually, but NOT ready to jump into a serious relationship. Reread, ladies.

She sounds like the guy and you sound like the girl. Very refreshing in my opinion. I'm sure there are other guys out there who think like you though far and few between I'd imagine.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 12
Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.
Posted: 12/14/2011 7:33:16 PM
and both decided it shouldn't go any further then deep kissing and cuddling




BBooooooooo

I asked her why, and she told me she's only been on casual dates and never found someone she really "clicked" with for the most part.


That is where the "why" or "redflag" would come up were I in your shoes.....in bed...with her.....doing more than cuddling and deep kissing.

During random conversation, I mentioned that she doesn't seem like someone who is "easy" sexually. She laughed and said she was, but she was not "easy" when it came to a relationship. Then told me that if she wanted to have sex with me then she would have, but if she wanted something else that she wouldn't right away.


My calculator says yes. (I double checked)

You sure she's not married to some boring gent or promised to someone or something?

Can anyone offer me any advice as to what to do with this girl?


About that cuddlin n kissin thing...

(Maybe best to do a fun mutual trip to the doctors first though)



I really like talking to her and it's been ages since I met someone with so many things in common with me, as well as whom I found attractive. Am I just setting myself up to get screwed over?


My calculator doesnt go that high.

And judging from what you wrote, you do judge women for being easy


I'm not hypocritical; I'm a fan of that^ :) <--Angelic smile.


She sounds like the guy and you sound like the girl.


;O

If she asks you to roll over........run.

 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 13
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Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.
Posted: 12/14/2011 8:11:05 PM
Don't over think this.

Most women prefer men that initiate, especially those with little relationship experience. I don't have a lot of long term relationship experience either, but women I am with don't judge me by that, but by what I do.

Judge this woman by what she does, but in the mean time just have fun dating, and building slowly the relationship.
 Phenomenally43
Joined: 7/16/2011
Msg: 14
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Looking for some advice about a girl I've been dating.
Posted: 12/15/2011 7:27:35 AM
Since she DIDN'T have sex with you it means that she's interested in developing something more substantial. Sex is easy; relationships take work...Reasonably attractive women can engage in a sexual romp almost at at time... Men give it away. To develop a relationship outside of sex is more challenging as sex often clouds one's perspective and all of those yummy chemicals are spinning out of control: taking the time to develop a relationship without sex indicates that she's interested in a long term relationship. Best of luck!
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