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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > If "All the Good Ones Are Taken" .....      Home login  
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 114M3
Joined: 4/19/2011
Msg: 1
If "All the Good Ones Are Taken" .....Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
.... where does that leave you and me (aka: the single ppl)??

Okay, so we've all heard this cliche said over and over again. Does this mean that anyone and everyone in a relationship are better relationship-material than the anyone else who is single?

I've never been one to use this line and find it especially ironic when it comes from the mouths of other single people who don't realize that when they say this, in a roundabout way they are saying that they are not "the good ones" since they themselves aren't taken.

Your thoughts?
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 2
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 6:37:01 AM
I think it's your age group.... early 30's is when most have either married, or started families. Give it another 10 years....... more than half of those now taken will be single again according to statisitcs.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 3
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 6:40:53 AM
It's a cliche, as full of wisdom as a marshmallow is of nutrition. Mostly air, and not good for you!

Almost too stupid to discuss, there are "good ones" who are single and NOT good ones who are in relationships. That's as much time as I'm willing to spare......

Cliches are what people say when they're not capable of producing an original thought.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 4
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 6:52:08 AM
People say all kinds of stupid things in regards to dating and relationships. I've heard more women than men say this. That and, "all the good men are either taken, or gay." People just need something to commiserate about when they think things aren't going their way.

Obviously a lot of f'd up people are in relationships, and a lot of decent people aren't - and things like timing and life come along and control a lot about where people end up.

If you can find a way to be happy separate and apart from your marital status, you'll have less reason to go around saying things like that.
 bottleguy
Joined: 3/22/2011
Msg: 5
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 7:04:26 AM
With today's divorce rate, all the good one's will eventually be available again.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 6
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 7:12:41 AM
that phrase is only repeated by single bitter people who cant hold onto anyone. Instead of looking at their own faults and trying to change them for the better.... They blame everyone else, saying the ones they cant get are no good.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 7
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 7:29:23 AM
When I see something to this effect as someone's headline, I don't bother clicking on the profile. Or reading any further if it's their opening sentence.

I'm always tempted to ask what makes them so great that they'll be able to attract a good one when they find one, but I wind up just leaving them alone.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 8
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 7:52:21 AM

I've heard more women than men say this. That and, "all the good men are either taken…

I’ve wondered if that was the case; as a man I’ve certainly heard it and read it from women primarily, specially “are there any good men left?” – which I find mildly off-putting.

And maybe it’s just my annoyance speaking but my thought is “so… you haven’t been able to attract any good men into your life – at all?”

These, and comments like “where are the ‘real’ men?” are indicators that they, man or woman, blame their lack of success on the opposite gender, on their social environment, etc, which doesn’t speak well for their sense of personal responsibility or their attitude toward the opposite sex.

I may be single but I see “good” women and the goodness in women all around me. But even the terminology of good and goodness is a bit dubious in my mind. It suggests that we confer goodness upon others only when we find them agreeable (or useful) to ourselves. A wee bit egocentric, no?

That may be reading a lot into a cliché that’s been tossed off without much thought. But we see much the same mindset in discussions of sexual preferences sometimes. A certain person or activity is not personally appealing, and therefore becomes morally objectionable – a level of reasoning we’d expect to find in a child. But I digress. And shall desist.

Yes there are good men left, but it depends who’s looking. And no there are none left and never were. The line between good and evil runs squarely down the middle of our hearts, men and women alike.
 wildandfreee
Joined: 12/16/2010
Msg: 9
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 8:05:08 AM
@rain
I appreciate your post
('')
 girl_on_wheels
Joined: 12/5/2011
Msg: 10
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 8:11:01 AM
Good and Bad is relative;

Some people want someone who they can show off to their friends, who fit the societal standards of good.

The only thing you have to ask yourself is...

Is He/She good to me?
Do I feel attracted to Him/her?
Do I feel good and happy when I am around him/her?
Etc. etc.

One that person fits your "good for you" criteria, the rest wont matter.
 carptopus
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 11
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 8:18:40 AM

Does this mean that anyone and everyone in a relationship are better relationship-material than the anyone else who is single?

No.
Because that's not really what the saying is about.

Here's a translation

All the Good Ones Are Taken .....

="I don't really want to work. I just want to feel good. I see those people that are happy...and I want that! I see them in good relationships, and I want a good relationship, I want a relationship that makes me feel good. I don't get to see all the trials, and tribulations, and how many times they dated, I don't get to see that he really just wants her money, and she just wants a boy toy, but in public they are smiley and happy, I've just romanticized and idealized what I think they have. I think the persona they show to me is exactly who they are in their most intimate moments...and that's what I want, this idealized and romanticized notion fulfilled. I see myself as a good person. I am good and right. So I deserve to feel how I want to, how I idealize and romanticize. And since I don't have it, right here, and right now, I feel bad. But I'm a good person, so I shouldn't feel bad. So I say this to you my friend so that you will console me, and make me feel good, and bond. Because since I don't have that which I think others have I will try and get a taste of how I want to feel from you."

Or they say it to say "Ugh. I don't really want to talk about it. I don't want to really deal with talking to you at all. So here's a cliche that will shut you up and make you go away."
i.e. "whine whine whine, why can't I find a good one?"
"All the good ones are taken."
 Whisky_River
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 12
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 8:27:47 AM
When I see something to this effect as someone's headline, I don't bother clicking on the profile. Or reading any further if it's their opening sentence


Or it could be that the last man they corresponded with admitted to liking to wear female underwear and wanted pics of her feet...lol...true.
So done as a rather "tongue in cheek" thing.

I can't count the number of men's headlines that say "Looking for the Real Deal" or Looking for a good woman"...to me it really shows..nothing more than they lack imagination on coming up with a catchy headline.

Of course...We all know...the good ones are all not all taken but we are dealing with a lot of "broken" people...

Cliches are what people say when they're not capable of producing an original thought

True... but I love cliches...sometimes there just isn't a better way to put it!
 clayart
Joined: 9/14/2011
Msg: 13
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:01:11 AM

Of course...We all know...the good ones are all not all taken but we are dealing with a lot of "broken" people...


It is all about timimg. I have been saying this for years. It is almost impossible for two older people to meet and both have a clear head and are ready to move on. When they are finally over their ex they get involved with someone and are no longer available. I have been on both sides of this equation. It's the old, "rebound", story. If we met at a different time things would have been different, maybe.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 14
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:06:59 AM
Someone who is so anxious to JUMP into another relationship before the papers dry on the old one, IMO aren't a "good one" to begin with. We all have our own individual ideas about what makes "one of the good ones".
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 15
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:26:28 AM
If all of the good ones are taken, that works well for women. A lot of women say they're looking for a bad boy. The good guys learn how to be more bad to get women.
 ChillinChill
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 16
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:47:53 AM
the title reminds me of the joke:

Men are like parking spots..

All the good ones are taken

and the rest are handicapped.
 Agallah005
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 17
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:53:53 AM
I think people who pick the wrong people always say that. They have bad experiences with dudes that don't really care for them, and then end up saying that "all the good ones are taken" bit. If they took the time to get the other person before jumping head in maybe they wouldn't end up in such a predicament and alone.
 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 18
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:58:38 AM
Great question:

I dont believe that al the good ones are taken. I believe that there are a TON of good ones left. However; finding these good ones is sort of life fishing for brown trout at a river damn in the fall. Sure they are in there, but you have to avoid catching the 134 sunfish, and the 163 catfish in order to catch one of those 23 brown trouts.

Did that point get made?

I sorta like the metaphor, but it may be confusing

I also believe "good ones" can become "not good ones" if they are in the wrong relationship.


These, and comments like “where are the ‘real’ men?” are indicators that they, man or woman, blame their lack of success on the opposite gender, on their social environment, etc, which doesn’t speak well for their sense of personal responsibility or their attitude toward the opposite sex.


I concur.

I find that the attitude you highlight generally expands to cover everthing else in their lives also.

Carpie's bang on

 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 19
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 9:58:44 AM
That's why it's called a cliche, it's a bunch of worthless words strung together that people with no original thought spew out. Since there are new people being born everyday and newly single people and those who have yet to find mr/mrs right, of course all the good ones aren't taken. But, those who are really good ones might get taken faster, who knows, the world is full of people looking for the dysfunctional so many good ones are bypassed. Besides, like beauty, the good ones are subjective, who knows what others think are a good catch.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 20
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 10:15:00 AM
The problem is women automatically eliminate 99% of guys right off the bat, so it's harder to catch Mr. Perfect among the 1%. When a woman meets a guy, there must be Instant Chemistry within a few seconds. If there's no instant chemistry right away, the guy is toast. They could be a perfect match otherwise, but that won't matter.
 Tim0066
Joined: 7/2/2007
Msg: 21
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 3:26:08 PM
I've emailed a few girls who had that written in their profile... I've said "Nope just us losers and jerks left, pick a cute one."

There's a lot of lines used on here that make me think the writer isn't all that bright

There's the "Goodhearted man" shouldn't the correct term be "Man with a good heart?"

Then there's "Friends first" yet if they wouldn't date you they won't even reply to your emails? As if you can tell who's going to be a friend or not... wonder how many of us have ignored someone that would be one of our very best friends if we'd have given them a little attention to see who they really are. I know its a dating site and the main purpose is to date so that should go without saying... but to say "friends first" as if that shouldn't go without saying if you're DATING someone? Who dates someone that they don't consider "friends material"? Duh...

Then there's the "cannot speak to ex's" line... why not? Are we supposed to hate our ex's? Is that what they do so you should too? Great, I don't want to be their "ex" thats for sure... so lets just not even date in the first place, thanks. How someone treats their ex says a lot about them. Hold grudges much?

or that its ok for women to say they want a "Tall Dark Handsome" man, yet of a guy says he wants a "Slim sexy woman" somehow he's a shallow loser?

I imagine I can come up with others... I'll leave it for now or I'll start to sound whiney which I'm not at all... just pointing some funny things out.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 22
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If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 3:52:02 PM
Mostly it's just one of many silly utterances people indulge in, and it does have a number of amusing logical results, if taken literally.

The thing I find most ironically amusing is, that people often ARE more attractive AFTER they are in a comfortable committed relationship, because their confidence and happiness go up, which makes ANYONE more attractive. Thus it SEEMS that all the good ones are taken, when to a very real extent, it's only true that all the taken ones, NOW seem to be the good ones.
 DJoseph54
Joined: 11/16/2011
Msg: 23
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 4:02:46 PM

OP
I've never been one to use this line and find it especially ironic when it comes from the mouths of other single people who don't realize that when they say this, in a roundabout way they are saying that they are not "the good ones" since they themselves aren't taken.

Your thoughts?


....No, it has nothing to do with their gender, but rather the other gender... :)

....Yes, it is a cliche of sorts, but based on the ones they find really cool and attractive are already taken. If the naysayers were cool and attractive, maybe they could also join the group of being taken... after all, most everyone posting is single and/or single again.

 statemachine500
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 24
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 4:14:50 PM

The problem is this: Most people that say such a thing have lofty goals of what they feel they are entitled to. Good ones aren't just looks or personality or even relationship material. It's someone basically saying hey I deserve the best, and I'm entitled to it. The work of actually making a relationship work is lost on them, because they fail to realize why their past ones failed taking personal responsibility. Relationships are not a made to order type deal with all your wishes and dreams fulfilled, they take work and understanding. A lot of people go into a new relationship with their past ever present in looking at the new partner, like its got to be an upgrade. Yet they fail to understand their own shortcomings and faults, like the perfect person is going to make it all better.


I think you're bang on with this.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 25
If All the Good Ones Are Taken .....
Posted: 12/17/2011 4:25:31 PM
Well...for these tough philosophical quandaries...
I simply use the guy power of self delusion to my best advantage.
in that...since I am a great guy not yet taken....
it must mean all the ladies here are really missing out.
:-P
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