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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If not now, then when?      Home login  
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 1
If not now, then when? Page 1 of 1    
Read a great online article today:

I fell in love with this paragraph!

Too many people anticipate or become fixated on age-related decline and the ever closer horizon of death and allow this to limit their dreams. It's a form of mental kryptonite that lulls people into believing that they have a diminishing capacity to change or find new meaning or purpose in later life. But Jobs took the opposite tack: the prospect of death was all the more reason to pursue one's passion with confidence and energy because, after all, if not now (to paraphrase Hillel), then when?

After reading the article, does it change your views on where you are in life?
Joined: 8/3/2011
Msg: 2
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If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 12:46:04 PM
Great paragraph and true for some people. Like to think I'm more open and willing to do things and pursue life with more zest.
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 3
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 3:17:45 PM

It is not a new brain that my patient needed, but a new mission built upon his true passions, a renewal of purpose using the ever-increasing knowledge, experience, wisdom and creativity that grows not in spite of age, but because of it.

Don't look at the likes of the great painter Grandma Moses (who achieved extraordinary creative success with a passion pursued initially in her 70s) as an anomaly, but as the future. Not everyone can become a great artist, athlete or sage in late life, but everyone retains the potential for ongoing growth and development. The path, of course, may look and feel quite different from younger years. But the true price of attempting to re-invent (or renew) oneself with age does not have to be a sense of failure or dejection, but the ability to let go of prior goals, expectations and other well-honed limitations. Once achieved, an open road lies ahead.

One must have or FIND a passion before one can think of reinventing self based on that. I dare say, not many truly KNOW what their passion IS.

As we age, that just becomes something that deters us from moving forward, and instead mires us in depression or complacency.

Never ask a kindergartner for advice on careers.... but it might not be a bad thing to think back to what sort of passions were ALIVE in ourselves when we were that young and unafraid.

Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4
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If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 4:37:55 PM
Ah astute of you with your thought process and explanations.......

Even as we mature, we must have something that moves us enough to create passion deep within. It can be a job that is far from all you have done in your life, or a hobby that you have put on the back burner for so many years, that it sits there dusty, or some political motivation that makes you want to "walk the walk" and not just "talk the talk"!

Every day that I get up and have my health, mind, and ability to interact with others and situations, makes me feel compelled to do those things that move me, and enjoy the benefits of my hard work, hard play, and yes, hard thinking. To share this with an equal would be an awesome thing, and something I continue to search for.

One day I will take that bike trip in many directions with someone either riding on my back, or by my side, and we will again find even more reasons to be alive, alert, and enjoying the journey, and not just the destination!!

Peace and prosperity to each and every one of you.

Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 5
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 5:26:25 PM
As time goes by, I find more and more things peak my interest. Learning used to be a necessity; now learning new things and using them in fun ways is an ongoing source of delight. As you say, though, CD, finding someone of the same ilk and the same love of exploring life would be such a treat.

May we all find the person who will help us make the most of life, and who we can also help live the most joyfully.
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 6
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If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 5:38:55 PM
glenoran, i love your new pic!

i agree and appreciate what some of you have written and expressed so eloquently. yes, eloquence exists on the pof forums, you know who you are......

learning has always been a passion and past time for me. i started painting at 41, started a new business at 47, and now at 60 preparing to go back to school to learn and live my passion from my 20's!

that may be the one thing that holds me back in finding the someone special i seek. so many have settled into the beginning of the end and i am so far from that.

optimism, compassion, and curiosity are 3 of the things i look for in others......

Joined: 7/11/2011
Msg: 7
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 5:42:59 PM
Didn't need to read the article to change my mind. Growing up in a Jewish household I was raised with "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If not now, when?" I took that motto to heart in 1999 and decided to, finally, try to become a lawyer which I'd wanted to do since I was 9 yrs old. Retired from a corporate manager gig and started law school at age 39.

Found my passion and calling during 2nd year and pursued that until I couldn't afford to do it any more. Yes, kids, there are lawyer jobs that don't pay even a poverty wage. But, I keep working away at a plan to be able to get back to that in a few years.

I'm currently reading a book I will recommend highly to anyone needing a little motivation for midlife career change. The book is titled "What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life?: True Stories of Finding Success, Passion, and New Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by Bruce Frankel. Real life stories of people who started a new, successful career at age 50 or above. Two things I like about this book more than others in the same vein is 1) most of these people did not have a financial safety net when they made the change. It's not like they changed from being a wallstreet broker to a dairy farmer. And 2) the definition of success is whatever is successful for the new career which is not strictly monetary. For example, a stay-at-home mom entered a running race on a whim (actually 4 events at that race) and won all 4. So she started running more, etc etc until she's like in the top 2 'masters' women in the world.
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 8
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If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/20/2011 6:52:20 PM
I'm currently reading a book I will recommend highly to anyone needing a little motivation for midlife career change. The book is titled "What Should I Do With the Rest of My Life?: True Stories of Finding Success, Passion, and New Meaning in the Second Half of Life" by Bruce Frankel. Real life stories of people who started a new, successful career at age 50 or above.]

thanks, sounds great will check it out. Maybe explain why all of a sudden having dreams I'm running in a marathon. My brain is maybe trying to tell me something

If not now when? I'm just now starting to wind down from a hectic life. Would like to have a very different 2nd half of life than the first, more mindful and focus on self for once, not everyone else and their needs.
Joined: 9/13/2010
Msg: 9
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/21/2011 10:17:22 AM
I can't remember where I heard this but someone said "I'd love to go back to school and get my Master's degree but I'll be 55 when I'm finished" the other person responded "You're still going to be 55 whether you go back to school or not so why not follow your dream?".

I agreed with this - none of us will get any younger so do what your little heart desires, I took up watercolour painting six years ago - why did I wait that long?
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 10
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/21/2011 11:43:27 AM
This question is odd for me, as I've never really had a career plan or a timetable for family matters or professional success. So...I guess WHEN I did stuff wasn't based on a timeline, it was just a group of stuff like a marbles in a bag -- I just keep collecting souvenier marbles of stuff I want to do. I've done that for 30 years, at the start of every year I assess my collection and try to come up with stuff I can achieve in the next year. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't.

In the last several years, I realized that most of the stuff I wanted to do as a teenager, I have already done. It's like I needed a whole new bucket list or something.

I don't think I rushed anything, I just acted when there were opportunities. It's easy to find reasons NOT to do stuff, I just found reasons TO DO them.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 11
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/21/2011 12:31:03 PM
Never thought that much about wanting to do; more about just doing, when the opportunity arose. Can only assert that I've pretty much *always* felt that being bored was a character fault, and if I find myself feeling that way for more than ten minutes, take the time to look around my life to see *why*. . . .

So, ya: ME. NOW.

Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 12
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/21/2011 1:09:21 PM

If not now, then when?

That thought is exactly what spurred me to make a move to live near the beach/ocean!
Always wished I could... bucket list kind of thing.
Saw 60 was my coming up birthday and said to myself.. if not now, then when?

I worked pretty hard all my life... many accomplishments...
so right now I'm applying the "if not now, then when?" to relaxing - not tying up in obligations - taking it easy - not searching for tall mountains to climb and great 'achievements'.. and so on.

See, the "if not now, then when?" can also apply to NOT doing great things and accomplishments.
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 13
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/21/2011 3:04:47 PM
It's funny but it was a reoccurring theme with some of the men I met; one got very angry at me when he was saying all the things he wanted to do but would never get to and I asked why not? The hostility just poured off of him, he wants to live on the West Coast and feels he would be better accepted there but he has made a live here where he is miserable, imho there isnt a contest I would rather be poor and happy than slightly successful (his terms) and miserable.
Joined: 11/2/2011
Msg: 14
If not now, then when?
Posted: 12/22/2011 3:23:37 AM
I'm not so certain that the 'not doing' is age related as much as it is related to the personality of the person. Those of us who are getting older and delay doing things are probably the kind of person that did that their whole life. But with age they use the 'age factor' as an excuse. I mean seriously what difference does it make how old you are? Some people are just afraid of 'risk' no matter what their age and consequently go through life always eating Plain Vanilla ice cream. It is true that some things I no longer do because of my age..such as repelling which I loved...but I'm just not agile enough to do that anymore. However, if given the opportunity to go hang gliding I would love to do it.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > If not now, then when?