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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Meeting: College Students & Recent Graduates      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Mhagan
Joined: 12/14/2009
Msg: 1
Meeting: College Students & Recent GraduatesPage 1 of 1    
"Why is it that many college students and recent graduates are often too busy to meet, but still interact with POF contacts as if they actually might meet?"

Thats the short version of my question and I'll elaborate...

Though I don't get a ton of messages in general the people I do talk to tend to be college students and recent graduates, which is fine as I'm 25, and that is what I would say is a reasonable age range.

However, I would have to say that close to 50% of the people I message (regardless if I or they send the initial message) tend to be too busy to meet. This is understandable; school, class work, and part time jobs can really put a damper on your social life. In addition to this recent graduates are usually searching for or have just started a new job and that can be very trying.

What I don't really understand is why about half of the people I talk to are too busy to meet, but continue to either talk to me like they might do so, or when they tell me they are busy, don't even suggest alternative days. Personally, I have very few limitations short of work. I'm free after about 6pm on work days and free a majority of weekends. With that said (I usually let them know I'm free whenever...) I would have to say the ball is in the other persons court and they should let me know when they would be able to meet.

So to reiterate and expand on my initial question:
"Why is it that many college students and recent graduates are often too busy to meet, but still interact with POF contacts as if they actually might meet? Additionally why do many people express interest even if they are busy but do not take the initiate arranging a meeting that is convenient to them?"

I guess I also have one final question and that is:
"How many other people have dealt with something similar to this?"

Regards
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 2
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Meeting: College Students & Recent Graduates
Posted: 12/21/2011 1:02:34 AM
It’s because they’re not interested in you. I am not a graduate student but an undergraduate student who is about to graduate and all I can say is I can relate to your experience. I meet those type of people all the time who either don’t respond to my mail or are flaky. So it can really not be generalized by students versus non-students.

When someone is too busy to meet they are either not sure how they feel about you or they don’t feel comfortable rejecting you. Just ignore them and don’t waste your precious time and energy.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 3
Meeting: College Students & Recent Graduates
Posted: 12/21/2011 10:32:43 AM
At that age honestly it's better to put the social life aside and get your life in order. Right now the job market sucks, and tuition is no picnic, so students who are in school full time pursuing a BS or Masters especially have to both work to pay for school and hustle to find the job they're studying to land.

"Why is it that many college students and recent graduates are often too busy to meet, but still interact with POF contacts as if they actually might meet?

That's not to say though, that most wouldn't like to have a social life and that they don't miss it. When presented to them I think they really want to participate but in the end because you aren't an old friend or even a solid dating prospect (I mean verified offline, not hopefully online) they end up just getting sidetracked with more obligations.

"How many other people have dealt with something similar to this?"

From the other end maybe. I'm pursuing a BS - while going after my Associates I was working two internships at the same time, working weekends and the rest of the time I was trying to land a full time job in my field for pay. I had classes 3-4 nights a week. Once I landed a job and continued on to pursue the Bachelor's Degree I had classes most weeknights, full time days and both weekend nights booked working until 2 AM. Even when you do have free time on a schedule like that you tend to want to just sit down and catch your breath - and the thought of meeting someone you may not even end up interested in or don't really know that well seems like less fun than going to bed and catching whatever sleep you can get.

Many times I totally planned on meeting someone and either something came up work/school related, or as I got closer to it I wasn't in the right mind for it. I could barely catch up with the friends I already have let alone go out and sit with people I'd never met.

Additionally why do many people express interest even if they are busy but do not take the initiate arranging a meeting that is convenient to them?"

There were times I wanted to tell someone to meet me at school in the coffee shop before class or during a break, but that's not longer than 30 minutes, and it's a haul. Once class was over, I was going home and that was it. So what was convenient for me wasn't usually for them.

Granted at 25 it's a little different as you can sleep less and sometimes juggle more - but if you're really trying to land a decent GPA or just graduated and you're trying find your first big job...it really can take up a lot of time. Most just default to "eh, lemme just get through this and I'll think about it".
 seventiesbaby2
Joined: 2/9/2012
Msg: 4
Meeting: College Students & Recent Graduates
Posted: 2/16/2012 2:55:19 PM
My daughter is in that age range and couldnt care less about dating or meeting a guy. She woulld be with somoene very successful and motivated though maybe.. She is way to busy working and with her career to waste time with guys she has done it in the past and they all wasted her time cheated played games. Young 20 yrs olds are normally not the most sincere guys to date. so thats why so many ladies are putting it on hold they been burned to many times before YOu might want to update your profile to be a little more mature ... the ninja thing or comic nature may turn off many ladies they want a mature acting guy
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