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 Elmenreich
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 1
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Atheism and DatingPage 1 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
I don't exactly advertise the fact that I'm an atheist when I'm meeting women. One time, I was dating this girl for a couple of months, and I told her I didn't believe in God. She cried. Anyone have similar experiences?
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 2
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 12:16:33 PM
I think you'll find in the responses that the reaction you got is pretty much an American issue. I'm guessing reactions would be similar in Saudi Arabia, but there don't seem to be any Saudis posting here, much less atheist Saudis.
 Elmenreich
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 4
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 12:24:16 PM
Sucking in bed is a bad thing?
 Summerrocks
Joined: 9/2/2010
Msg: 5
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 2:21:15 PM
Santa knows you guys are being naughty! 'wink'

Who cares if someone believes in god or not, as long as they're passionate in bed!

 Yule_liquor
Joined: 12/7/2011
Msg: 6
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 6:05:00 PM

I'm an athiest but have no problem seeing non athiests so long as they're not preachy.


No serious believer(in their right mind) would carry on a (serious) relationship with an atheist. This is not because of haughtiness or disdain over the non believer, but because it goes against the very tenets of what a believer is to strive for; that is, to keep growing in faith!

The OP was lucky to be in that relationship for that long; in most cases it would have ended far sooner!
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 7
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 8:34:51 PM
I don't think I could handle either an atheist nor a very religious.

Have never had an atheist girlfriend so I'm not quite sure. However I do know that it would be very uncomfortable to be with someone that looked at all religion as a mockery and a joke. To me it feels unethical.

The same goes for the true believers in religion. I can't grasp the concept of someone that thinks that the earth is a few thousand years old, believes in anything that overtly dismisses the humanity of other races or points of views. To me it feels unethical.

Ethics and science are cool. Especially if you think about them.
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 8
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 10:22:26 PM
Freakin unicorns piss me off!
 Aries_328
Joined: 10/16/2011
Msg: 9
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/23/2011 11:28:10 PM

Were those tears of joy - perhaps because she found a man who has the same beliefs as her?

Or were those tears of sorrow - perhaps because she believes you are a lost soul?


That would be, "Loss of connection."
 David_Laughed
Joined: 5/29/2007
Msg: 10
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 4:54:55 AM
My son has been talking to some girl for at least two years. He never covered up the fact that he isn't a Christian. All the sudden she couldn't accept his lack of belief and they couldn't be friends any longer. ****es be trippin'
 2findU
Joined: 11/19/2005
Msg: 11
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 11:19:57 AM
My girlfriend knows I'm an Atheist. In fact I gave her an audio book copy of "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. We both come from Jewish upbringing. She's not much of a God believer and especially doesn't like organized religion anyway. Frankly shes doesn't believe in God as a supernatural supreme being that created the Universe as most religious people believe.
 rec_diver
Joined: 11/13/2011
Msg: 12
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 7:29:20 PM
I put it right there in my profile that I don't believe in anything.. but I'm ok if she does as long as she doesn't waste too much valuable free time in her preferred place of worship. That much being said I've had long term relationships with women who did spend time in church and did their share of praying. While it didn't thrill me, I have to be realistic.. I already have rather stringent requirements for a girlfriend and if I stick to athiests I'm down to about 17 percent of the population before I apply the rest of my rules.. and that would make it almost impossible to meet the type of woman I'm looking for.

On the other hand, they didn't seem to mind my lack of belief.. but I don't know how many women pass over my profile because they realize I'm not going to be kneeling next to them on Sunday mornings.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 13
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 7:58:54 PM

One time, I was dating this girl for a couple of months, and I told her I didn't believe in God. She cried. Anyone have similar experiences?

I met one woman here who met me without asking what ``non-religous'' meant and then after meeting her and setting up a second date, she decided to clear that up. Once she understood that meant ``athiest,'' the second date was off. After that, I added a line to my profile telling religious zealots to not contact me.
 jblack187
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 14
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 8:28:19 PM
Wouldn't a "real" Christian try to show you the light? I have issues with faith myself, but I DO go to church every Sunday and that really seems to be one of the things they preach. Hell, my Mom cried when I told her that I didn't have the same faith that she does.

The thing is, if you're a true atheist, maybe it's best to just keep that to yourself. After all, it's not like there's some sort of higher power that you have to please...your belief system says that you can do whatever you want. What exactly is the harm in just refraining from telling your loved ones that you don't believe in their God? Sometimes wearing your heart on your sleeve causes more harm than good.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 15
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 10:42:03 PM
Atheism just means the person doesn't believe in a god; it doesn't mean you don't have some ideas of what we are and what our default position (so to speak) is when we're not time-spacing. An atheist doesn't necessarily believe there's nothing outside of our life here-now.

That said, empathy can go a long way in bridging the gap between someone who has theistic beliefs and oneself who doesn't share those beliefs. Just as a person might be part of a camera club, say, and go to those meetings, but their SO isn't into photography and so stays home or does something else, so can the religious mate go to church and the other person do something else during that time period. It's part of the right to individuality within the relationship.

Unless an SO was pushy about it or determined to 'convert' me, I would not have a problem with that person being theistic, as long as he didn't mind me not being a 'believer' of what he believes.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 16
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/24/2011 10:59:26 PM
It has never been a problem for me. But I also do not initiate discussions on religion. My Atheism is just a fact, like my eyes are blue. I don't go around talking about eye color. When the topic comes up I state my beliefs and leave it at that. I am not out to convert people or tear apart peoples beliefs. I will only argue it if someone pushes their beliefs on me and wont back off.

My father on the other hand..he told me he could have accepted me being gay easier than my Atheism. But he also admitted he knew deep down my whole life I wasn't a believer and hoped I would change as I got older.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 17
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 12:02:10 AM
The thing is, if you're a true atheist, maybe it's best to just keep that to yourself.

That's the same as telling me that if I don't believe in the easter bunny, I should keep that to myself. If someone asks, I'm going to answer truthfully, mainly because I'd feel just as silly telling someone I believed in god as I would telling someone I believed in the easter bunny, santa claus, or the flying spaghetti monster.

After all, it's not like there's some sort of higher power that you have to please...your belief system says that you can do whatever you want. What exactly is the harm in just refraining from telling your loved ones that you don't believe in their God? Sometimes wearing your heart on your sleeve causes more harm than good.

Then, what would be the harm in my relatives just telling me they're athiests? If you really think it's such a big deal to be an athiest, I find that scary.

My father on the other hand..he told me he could have accepted me being gay easier than my Atheism.

Well, you could have told him to look at the bright side - that you weren't a gay athiest.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 18
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 6:40:47 AM
Atheism never posed dating problems for me, and it was always clear in my profile. More often I had to turn down prospects who were too religious. Many women are social theists but have no real conviction, and many more are agnostic, or atheist.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 19
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 12:44:13 PM

After all, it's not like there's some sort of higher power that you have to please...your belief system says that you can do whatever you want.

as yes, atheists have no moral code, unlike christians. jaycee dugard's keeper certainly pleased his god, didn't he?

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/156623/20110602/jaycee-dugard-philip-garrido-nancy-garrido-sentencing-court-terry-probyn.htm
 TrulyGenuine27
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 20
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 3:04:49 PM
Hmmm while I personally wouldn't have a problem with dating an atheist since I used to be one myself, some people feel so strongly about religion or lack thereof, I kind of think you should put that on your profile.
 Glenoran1
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 21
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 3:47:41 PM

After all, it's not like there's some sort of higher power that you have to please...your belief system says that you can do whatever you want.


You're quite right ... what makes us a good person is not a fear of retribution or of getting caught or found out. Instead, it's that we choose to behave in a kind, fair, generous way, with no expectation of reward and no fear of punishment.
 BrockLee74
Joined: 9/9/2011
Msg: 22
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 5:34:00 PM
No, we don't have a higher power to please. Instead we have to be able to look at ourselves in the mirror and sleep at night with a clean conscience. A conscience based around the most human of values, "do not cause harm to others" and "help those in need."
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 23
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/25/2011 8:04:15 PM
This is not because of haughtiness or disdain over the non believer, but because it goes against the very tenets of what a believer is to strive for; that is, to keep growing in faith!

Which, what you refer to ('serious believer'), includes having disdain to some level of an "infidel" or "non-believer" to your own specific one.

The OP was lucky to be in that relationship for that long;

Would you say the girl was "lucky" to be in that relationship for that long? No. You're indicating that she's a superior choice to him, her being a serious (enough) "believer", and him being a "non believer".

I wouldnt care how they believed...

Actually, I see it the other way around. It's not what you believe per se, it's how/why you believe what you do. If someone says they don't believe in God solely because their uncle died in a car accident, I wouldn't value their opinion. If someone says they believe in God solely because their uncle died in a car accident and he was too good not to be taken care of, I wouldn't value their opinion, either. If someone says the Detroit Lions are going to win in the 1st round of the playoffs because their QB gave $100k to a children's charity, even me being a Lions fan, would not value their opinion. Etc, etc.

Especially when it comes to things greater than us (the universe itself, potential supreme being, system, or power, etc) -- it's not something to hold onto flimsily or superstitiously when conviction of a conclusion is involved... or when having the special gift/ability of reason that separates us from all other animals, on our level, to instead be loyal like a dog to communal ideology that comforts us & gives us a sense of acceptance, and to throw wisdom & reason out the window that challenges it (not saying you do).
 neck romancer
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 24
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/26/2011 2:47:47 AM
For myself Ive found that any one who is active in church is most likely too religious for me to date. If every other sentence requires fitting in god somehow than I run for the hills ;)
 jblack187
Joined: 8/28/2010
Msg: 25
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Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/26/2011 8:27:24 AM
Lol I love how people read my post as an anti-atheist thing. I go to church but I probably identify with atheists more than Christians. I go because i love my family and it makes them happy. What skin off my back is it to listen to what they believe for an hour every week? What made you people think that I was insinuating that not believing in god is the same as having no morals? I'm really getting irritated with how some posters keep trying to read between the lines thinking it makes them look smart.

My point was that when you tell a believer you're an atheist you're basically saying "you know that thing that your family raised you to believe? Yea I think it's bullshit." If you so strongly believe that there is no God then you shouldn't date people that do. You certainly shouldn't be shocked that they don't react well to it.

Someone equated it to not believing in the Easter bunny. So you would just tell someone else's children that he's not real? Of course not, unless you're some sort of ***hole.
 WillowWolf17
Joined: 2/13/2011
Msg: 26
Atheism and Dating
Posted: 12/26/2011 1:21:36 PM
One of the guys I was interested in told me he was Christian.

I am agnostic, mostly. He said he had no problem with it.

But I guess, he is a hardcore Christian. Meaning, he wants a girl who will put God first in her life. And he told me God told him to stay single, and thus stopped all chances of us being together, even though we got along really well and we had the same views on everything.

I don't think religion is a necessarily bad thing, but when I feel like when it comes to dating and you are going to limit your chances like that, then why even look for someone? Being in a relationship with someone is about following your heart, not a religion. Religion can be important, but there are some things where it shouldn't even come into play unless you are getting married or something along those lines.

Needless to say, that really hurt my feelings. But it is what it is.
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