Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 1
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I recently started emailing a man (not on this site), after a few emails he said “we should get together” and I said “sure, let’s meet for coffee, here’s my phone number”. So then he texted me. And it kind of blew my mind, because I expected to hear his voice, not continue to type. I emailed him back that I do not have a texting plan on my phone and was hoping for a verbal conversation. I never heard from him again, so I guess what he really wanted was a text buddy instead of a date.

Personally I despise texting and certainly consider it a downgrade from emailing. For that matter I don’t like IM chatting either – I don’t like to communicate in abbreviations. But its all typing, people. And eventually you have to move on to the next level. Which is what I thought I was doing by giving a guy my phone number.

So I’m seeking opinions – am I a dinosaur to I expect a verbal conversation when I give out my phone number? Are that many people over 45 so much into phone texting that they consider either/or fine as long as they’re communicating? I wouldn’t be so surprised if I was communicating with someone much younger as its part of their culture, but our generation weren’t born with cellphones in their hands – I assumed people “my age” still think a phone number equals a phone CALL. So I’d like to know where others stand on this so I can determine if my expectations are unreasonable.
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 2
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/23/2011 7:01:09 PM
One...if he was truly interested he would contact you in the way you prefer.

Two..some guys prefer text.
Doesn't mean you should humor em...as married guys prefer that.
But still....you may need some sort of text plan to communicate with legit guys.

I don't like text either and have a plan that I can change when I am dating.
When I am not..... I just keep five dollars in my text account
and pay the 15 cents a text rate for the rare text.

That is much cheaper than $10 a month
for something I am not really using.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 3
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/23/2011 7:18:37 PM
texting, in my opinions, is useful for confirming departures, arrivals, reminders, getting directions, when one must communicate but know that a ringing phone would not be good on the receivers end, and an occasional goodnight or good morning.

i pretty much expect and accept phone calls.....
kaylee
oh and for getting pics of my grandchildren!
 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 4
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/23/2011 8:00:07 PM
I do have texting included in my cell plan - no choice - but I don't use it. My kids might text me something like 'tried to call' and that's it. I can't see well enough to read 99% of the texts that show up, so I don't bother replying. I don't do IM, though I can't remember right now whether I even have it enabled or disabled on POF, but I do chat with people on facebook occssionally.

Anyone I give my phone number to already knows I don't see well enough to read texts, so they don't bother. It's either a real voice or emails.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 5
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/23/2011 10:40:06 PM
Thanks for all the varied responses! Its unfortunate they moved this thread from the "45 and up" forum and into a more general forum because I feel that this issue IS very age specific - 20-somethings are going to have a much more different view of texting than people 45+, aren't they?

I agree that I probably should not "go with the flow and get a texting plan" because after this incident I realized I really didn't want to go that route and create a monster by having someone text me all the time when I just really can't stand texting. Once I was in an established relationship, perhaps I could be talked into it if it meant THAT much to someone, but just to please the random stranger? Nope.

Someone asked if he was for real or just kids playing - well, he had a profile created, with a picture, stating the age of 47; and discussing where he'd like to go on dates, so he sounded legit. Of course in cyberland, all things are possible so I'll never really know. But in retrospect, just the fact his emails were one-liners in all caps should have been a giveaway that I was dealing with someone with an IM/text habit.

I will do like other posters have mentioned and just announce whenever I give out my phone number to someone new that I don't text and it is for verbal communication only.

Thanks everyone for your input, and I'm happy to hear more opinions so don't stop now!
 windchymes
Joined: 11/29/2008
Msg: 6
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 9:42:55 AM
Given my advanced age, I pretty much expect a call only because texting isn't something I think of automatically yet. But if he initiates contact with a text, it's okay, it reminds me what decade I now live in.

However, I absolutely detest long drawn out text conversations when the gadget I'm using to text is also just dandy for making a real phone call with.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 7
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 11:17:25 AM
I rather talk in person, and use the phone for short communications, just as I do with texting, unless the person lives far enough away that calls and texts make more sense when apart.

If there are more than two to three texts in a row, I rather just pick up the phone and call, and if I do call, I hope that we both know the purpose and results of calling....

cd........
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 8
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 2:14:50 PM
@magic - That's an interesting point. Now that I think about it I have given my phone number to people who have never used it, but I always assumed that stuff happened in their life that prevented them from pursing it further. Personally I find that a little weird - I think collecting phone numbers for practice is a silly waste of everyone's time. It often amazes me how much time people waste, and the stupid things they waste it on, especially flirting with people they admittedly have no interest in to begin with.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 9
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 2:42:34 PM
a woman gives me her number....


I call


I wanna hear her voice afterall and I want her to hear my voice...


my voice can bring women to their knees when I want it to....
 HappySingleSpirit
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 10
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 2:57:37 PM
I expect e-mails and meeting in person as I don't use text and phone rarely.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 11
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 4:13:24 PM

^^^^^really Boondock. you have me curious now.



heck, funny - the younget hottest I met on here and dated finally had to tell me to talk for real - cuz she couldn't concentrate on getting to know me cuz her mind would wander to the heavens when I'd talk like that to her...


;)
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 12
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 4:18:34 PM
@magic - I do understand your point, but I really don't think becoming an expert on manipulating people on dating sites is a lifelong goal for me. I have no trouble writing emails, and I try to be kind to those that were not "born to it". However, if you would like to start a training camp, perhaps I will refer some gentlemen to you that are in need of some skills - like the charming man who initiated contact with "let's have sex let's have sex let's have sex" early this morning. I suspect if that man had communicated the same idea via text or a phone call, or any other popular media including in person, my response would have the same under all circumstances.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 5:41:58 PM
Thank you Bunny for your point of view. I'm very interested to hear that you prefer an intial text over speaking, as it makes me wonder if perhaps the man I mentioned at the beginning of this thread had recently had a younger girlfriend who had trained him to be that way. I can see where generational preferences may cause issues if someone started dating outside their age range and one person did things with the phone that the other didn't expect because it was simply not their norm.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 6:11:20 PM
Bunny, you are teaching me a lot! Thanks for taking the time to explain some text etiquette...never would have crossed my mind to text to see if a phone call is welcome, yet I can see with the constraints of parents/classes/meetings/hanging out in a noisy club that it makes perfect sense to someone of your generation....and would have when I was your age if cell phones were part of then culture then.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 15
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/24/2011 7:51:22 PM

bunny01:...like I said my parents don't even have phones to text on lol..


I know a few people who are in the 40 to 50 y.o. range who don't have a home computer or a cell phone, and almost all of my parent's generation don't have either. When I asked a friend why he doesn't have either, his answer is he doesn't need either. It's more trouble and expense than it's worth. He and other people I talked to said if someone wants to get a hold of them, all they need to do is call by telephone, and if no one is home, leave a message on the answering machine and they will return the call when convenient. That pretty much is the same result as texting someone. It wasn't that long ago that there weren't even answering machines, so if you wanted to get a hold of someone, you just kept calling until they answered.

Among the the things I dislike about testing is too many people feel it's priority number one in their life and if they send a text, they expect an immediate answer and the person they're texting must drop whatever they're doing to reply. And vise versa: When a person receives a text, they are addicted like a junkie to immediately read and respond within seconds and drop everything else they're doing. Back before cell phones, peoples lives did not revolve around phones, especially 24/7. People had real lives instead of being a prisoner to a phone. People didn't walk around like zombies staring at their phones every second they're awake.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 16
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 12/25/2011 3:38:47 AM
@Maleman999: I have heard texting stimulates the same part of the brain as gambling and drugs. That could explain why people treat it like an addiction. Great points in your post as always.

I would expect a call. There is certain connection you can feel through voice that can't be replicated through text. Perhaps my mind and body senses are more enhanced than the younger folks (pumped up kicks generation).
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 17
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/15/2012 6:43:52 PM
^^^^^ We "dinosaurs" will be just fine. A young lady with a good head on her shoulders.

Technology moves forward, real connection through communication moves backwards.
 ForumsCreeper
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 18
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/15/2012 8:02:46 PM
I love that main profile pic. Pretty much gets the message out there.

People dont call much these days. Even in the work world, its all IM and emails.
I text basic messages. I cant stand trying to carry a conversation on via text.

If I text my sister (because she never answers her phone) I fully expect and get 10 to 30 text messages on one topic, frives me insane.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 19
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:45:40 AM

I love that main profile pic. Pretty much gets the message out there.


I know, but I'm not getting any action anyway so I do silly things like that to amuse myself. Its become rather obvious that nothing I do on my profile is going to make a bit of difference - but maybe there's someone out there with a sense of humor who likes guns who might find it amusing.

 illmatic_one
Joined: 5/23/2011
Msg: 20
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:48:28 PM
I just go by whatever is acceptable mutually. For example, since my cell coverage is spotty inside my home and I drop calls unless I go outside to talk, texting generally works better for me, and I don't see it any differently than a phone convo personally. Not to mention I think that texting for a bit first, breaks the ice and gives more of a feel if I want to actually talk to this person, they're interest, and I don't have to guess as much about things to talk about later...... Cheers!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 21
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/16/2012 6:35:56 PM
I like the prehistoric method of sending a few e-mails to each other and agreeing to meet in real life at a real place at a real time. I don't like giving a phone number to someone I never met.

But the computer chip-heads can't handle not having an excuse to go totally crazy with countless texts and messages and making meeting real people a major expedition with countless hurdles. There's no doubt in the very near future the computer companies will invent another form of communication that everyone will have to have right away, then another "must have" form of communication a few years after that, and so on to infinity. And people on POF will have to send messages in all of these forms of communication on top of what exists already. The people who invent these programs are laughing all the way to the bank, knowing that text addicts are dumb enough to buy anything and everything right away at the snap of their fingers. If these companies told people that the new form of communication is to write messages in elephant sh1t, everybody would be going crazy trying to buy elephant sh1t right away.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 22
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/16/2012 6:59:51 PM
@Maleman999: I could not agree more. Since I use text messaging for just that, not conversation, I prefer talking. By about the third exchange I text "call me". Usually works for me.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 23
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:50:08 PM
Thanks, maleman, you made my night!

The sad thing is, you're probably right and people will be communicating via elephant sh1t in the near future. I guess the time to invest is now.
 astrosky
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 24
view profile
History
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/17/2012 9:25:20 AM
kja - That won't be an issue in my case because I have zero desire to date anyone with little children. Although back in the stone age (pre-texting), we were able to train our children to quiet down and have some respect while we were on the phone.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 25
When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:54:32 PM
Absolutely, 100% a phone call. I dislike texting and see its only purpose as quick messages which require no response, or maybe one quick question with one response. But people today use it for full-blown conversations. No, no, no! Not for me. I have a limited texting plan and don't want to eat up all the messages in one day for a conversation that can be easily had over the phone.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > When you give your phone number do you expect calls or texts?