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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Ex tells me he misses me      Home login  
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 mountaingirl1990
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 1
Ex tells me he misses me Page 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
My ex has been texting me just about weekly since he broke up with me. He tells me that he misses me and that he still loves me...whether that be intimate/romantic or platonic. Although we didn't really date long (3 months), I really cared for him a lot and I legitimately loved him. It took me some time to get over the relationship, and him. He never gave a real reason why he broke up. But now I'm confused. Does he want me back? Why would he be telling me that? Any suggestions or insight would be great. Thanks!
 Bkrast
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 2
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/27/2011 1:17:12 PM
He never gave you a reason why you broke up and now he is wanting you back. Just off the top of my head it sounds like a case of the grass not being greener on the other side. He thought he had something better lined up and it didn't happen. You are his backup girl. If you take him back it is likely that this will happen again.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 3
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 12:10:27 PM
Parrothead....why do some guys want to run when and get scared when you get close?

OP: perhaps he is just telling you how he truly feels, but it doesnt necessarily mean he wants you back because you broke up for a reason. he is just letting you know he still loves you. i have had that happen to me with a few exes. I think when someone wants you back he will ask to see you and talk about it. just my opinion here from my own experience.
do you want him back?
 TallChick61
Joined: 1/21/2010
Msg: 4
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:00:05 PM
Text him back: "What are you going to do about it?"

Actions speak louder than words.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 5
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History
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:05:02 PM
I have a sort of visual image of relationships that I imagine. It' sort of like a set of plants, or microbes or ethereal entities, or something. As their relationship builds, they attach tendrils to each other, of communication, of trust, of similarities, of understandings of differences, insights, mutual experienced events, and so forth.

When people break up, those tendrils have to be chopped off. Lots of times, people initiate a break up, having forgotten, or never been aware of just how many linkages that they had established with the other person. They only find out AFTERWARDS, that these little connections, and emotional attachments existed, and that many have actually become small dependencies.

When they start to recognize this later, sometimes they quietly suck it up and carry on, sometimes they panic and go running back to try to reconnect everything, and sometimes they try to go back and effect an "a-la-carte" arrangement, to get back the stuff hey want to continue to depend upon, while discarding the links that upset them enough to leave.

I think the folks who are most in an emotional state about it, are the least likely to be ABLE to use good judgement about it, and are the least able to even realize that they only want PART of you back. They might talk about missing you, realizing they made a big mistake, all sorts of things.

If you want to try to figure out what to do, first accept that love is ALWAYS a gamble. Often as not, the more cautious you are, and the more you try to pursue your relationships "scientifically," the more likely you are to prevent yourself from grabbing the "brass ring" altogether. That said, you CAN try to figure out exactly why the lover who is attempting to return, left to begin with. If you can figure it out, and that reason is STILL IN THE MIX, then you would, I think, be foolish in the extreme to risk trying again.

But sometimes the split itself, or other incidental experiences and life changes occur, such that the reason why the relationship failed before, is NO LONGER present. In that case, trying again might well work.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 6
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:34:20 PM
OP, do you want him back? In what capacity? Sounds like you guys are on the fence as far as romantic vs platonic, or even if you want to spend more time together.

You are just starting out in the world of relationships with the opposite camp. Expect to have guys miss your fabulous self and to be confused about what they really want from you.

You may be better off as friends. Someone to hang out with and talk to, as you navigate the wicked waters of lust and desire. There IS value in that type of relationship., at any age.
 CowboyFan30
Joined: 12/18/2011
Msg: 7
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:41:25 PM
One of the oldest tricks in the book. Dumped you before the holidays probably means he didn't want to buy you a gift for the holidays. Then again, it could be another woman involved and he's just stringing you along so that he can get some when he wants it. You can play his little game, but in the end, you'll end up heart with even more questions than you have now.
 crankyb4coffee
Joined: 10/3/2011
Msg: 8
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 3:47:19 PM
I'd have to agree with the post about the grass being greener. Maybe it's more of a jaded outlook, but without knowing the full scope of the situation, I think it's the most accurate.

Unfortunately, as much as I would like to believe in the saying of "You don't know what you have until it's gone..." I'm a little hesitant to apply that to a freshly budded relationship where you both are still learning about one another. Him deciding to break it off for no known reason is disrespectful to you and the relationship. At the very least, I would want an explanation before even considering pursuing a further relationship with him.

However it works out, I wish you the best.
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 9
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:08:21 PM
I do agree with some of the other posters, he either had another prospect who seemed more interesting at that time but then it did not work out, or he does not know what he wants.

In either case and regardless of whether he now feels he wants you back, does not seem like he's worth your time, especially as he did not even grant you the respect to give you a reason for the break up.

No one here can tell you whether he actually wants you back, but, hey, do you want him back after the way he acted???
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 10
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 4:32:00 PM
Forget him! He walked out the door, said he was through - albeit with "no reason/explanation" and now he "misses you"...........and he tells you he loves and cares about you.........

Here's the rub......he walked out because he found someone else he perceived as better than you. THEN he found out the grass wasn't greener on the other side and wants to come back........Sure he misses you........he got dumped by Ms. Perfect and how he is all alone sleeping in his empty bed and now needs a soft place to land.........

You need to ask yourself a couple of questions and for God's sake be honest with yourself.

Are you willing to be his doormat?
Are you willing to take him back everytime he walks out???
Is he REALLY that worth it????

Somehow, I highly doubt it. - I had this very thing happen to me......only difference is I ended all the contact and told him to go to hell.

End it now while you can. Trust me on this one.
 A_Gent
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 11
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 6:38:03 PM
OP, you really won't know unless you ask HIM.

Perhaps there was some legit reason for his closing the relationship. There may have been unfinished business... he may have been into the relationship with you to soon and been too vulnerable.. many reasons we here in the POF can't know and its dangerous to assume without checking out the facts further.

Sometimes some time apart can help people focus more clearly on what they do want. Sometimes a person is just flaky..

You will only know by exploring and using your own wisdom whether it is worth another try, or close the door and move on.

Bon chance.
 peech12
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 12
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 9:07:54 PM
Remember why he is your EX... he is lonely, but only you can decide if he is sincere and you want to put yourself on the line like that again.
 SleepyMcGee
Joined: 5/16/2008
Msg: 13
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History
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 10:51:44 PM

Remember why he is your EX


She didn't break up with him and he didn't give a reason as to why he broke up with her.

But I do agree, we can't decide whether or not it's worth giving it another shot with this douchebag. If he broke up with you once out of the blue, he'll do it again and you'll be giving him permission to do so by getting back together with him.
 peech12
Joined: 7/25/2010
Msg: 14
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 11:24:17 PM
If he didn't appreciate you when you were with him, don't be so quick to give him another chance... make him sweat a little while you decide what YOU want and what is best for YOU. Sometimes people do deserve another chance... sometimes they do not.
 WolfAngel1963
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 15
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/28/2011 11:37:39 PM
I totally agree with this unless he left you for someone else and believe me I would be checking into that before even considering getting back with him. You only receive respect when you demand it and won't settle for anything less. If you love each other it will work out but many relationships start in the middle. You said you really care about him, but so you like him as a person. Ask yourself this before considering getting back with him.
 ro1970
Joined: 10/23/2011
Msg: 16
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/29/2011 4:42:25 AM

Sometimes some time apart can help people focus more clearly on what they do want..................


Sure, that is true......but is the OP supposed to wait around while her on/off again boyfriend is indefinitely on sabattical trying to decide???? Somehow, I think not.........This crap of "taking time off/taking a break while one decides" has never worked for most.......

There is a Golden Rule of Relationships which I eluded to in an earlier post......for those of you who don't know......it goes like this.

Once you walk out the door and say you are finished, then you are. This rule applies to both parties and is nontransferrable. For if you keep taking someone back, they will get the idea you always will. And trust me, I've watched this scenario go on amongst my friends and witnessed LOADS of drama, instability, it eroded their self esteem, and more often than not, lasted for years.

I took someone back only once......and trust me I lived to regret it. I would rather be on my own versus in a situation that had too much drama and head games. I can only thank God I learned my lesson on that one.

To put someone through that because you "just don't know what you want" is really cruel.


Sometimes a person is just flaky..


Yeah......No kidding!
 ixtlan09
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 17
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/29/2011 3:36:20 PM
Me and the other guys on this website miss you too.
 FunkTheMillenium
Joined: 7/23/2011
Msg: 18
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/29/2011 8:09:57 PM
^^^^ HAHA yeah thats true lol we all miss her as well.

jeez kid's these days.
 borazon
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 19
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/29/2011 8:18:30 PM
If you still love him,you can give him another chance but be careful this time around.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 20
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/30/2011 11:05:41 AM
Second chances in my opinion can be a opportunity for someone to disapoint you again
sometimes its better to leave the past behind and move on.
 borazon
Joined: 11/29/2011
Msg: 21
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/30/2011 2:06:59 PM

I loved her with my soul, I have her my trust, and every thing we spoke every day and where together at weekend and holidays, I was under the impression after two years we where going in the right direction


I know how it feels like when someone breaks your heart.However thing is you shouldn't lose hope.Thing is incidents like this shouldn't change the good being inside you. You can never be happy again.Sex doesn't always give happiness.Fidel Castro had sex with 35000 women.Do you think it kept him happy?Try loving and there is nothing like it.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 22
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/31/2011 7:56:13 AM
I'm sorry to hear about your experience, OP.First off, he doesn't sound like a very considerate person. .to break things off without an explanation. If for some reason you were to start seeing each other again, chances are . .he might do this again. It does sound like he realizes he screwed up a good thing with you by saying he misses you. . However, it's his actions that would accurately reflect how he feels. . If he does miss you as he says he does. .what is he doing about it? Also, this is reiterating the point again. .but do you really want to go through that again?
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 23
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 12/31/2011 11:51:45 AM
He is keeping you in line, incase it dont work out with his potential other woman.
He broke up because he wanted to date other women. If those dont work out..he wants to go back to you.
 kollnoot2
Joined: 5/25/2011
Msg: 24
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:48:41 PM
Alright, I'm gonna try to shed a little light for you, through my own perspective. I was going out with a girl for about a year and a half, which after that I broke it off. I don't blame her or anything, but we sort of fell into it, she broke up with her boyfriend to start seeing me, I felt sort of uneasy at first about that aspect. I eventually got over that, but after a while I just felt like we were going through the motions just because that's what every 22/20 year old couple is supposed to do (yeah chime laughter from the elders obviously). She never asked why I broke up with her, which actually sort of fortified my feelings that it was not completely real. I mean if you were being dumped why the hell not ask why? So, some people may say it's whoever's fault for not explaining, but I disagree, that's why you are a couple. Long story short, and sort of proven I felt there was a lack of communication (hence the going through the motions). Any who, back on the main point, I personally would say don't bother, I'm only 25, and the small amount of experience I had in dating (my only girlfriend or any intimate female contact) makes me see all my friends and family around my age getting married seem kind of rushed like they feel like they need it, (cultural influence anyone?). It's however just my nature to be stubborn and I'm holding out for the real thing, whether I ever find it or not. I'm sorry to seemingly turn this reply into my own personal rant, but I am really trying to help by showing my psychological reasoning behind a similar situation, because I have thought about trying to reconcile 1 or 2 times, and I have to remind myself of all the reasons why I felt it was untrue to begin with, for the purpose of protecting myself and yes very much because I absolutely never want to put her in the same position again. So honest answer, definitely leave it up to yourself don't let him sweet talk you, because I would guess whatever reason finished it, however small within him, can still surface again. I hope that helps.
 lovelysky63
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 25
Ex tells me he misses me
Posted: 1/11/2012 5:20:57 AM
LOL..beautiful I think you should ask your hearth what do you want..love or isn't
If people told you no you shouldn't back to meet him but in face in your hearth still love him then Are you sure you will believe..?..lol..no..no..I never think so..or maybe he became good man and love you really or maybe just want lie again ..nobody to know So do what you want will do and respond all you want do..Good luck Beautiful
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