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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Umm wow, k thanx bye      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
Umm wow, k thanx bye Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
If those are all the facts learn these two lessons. #1 - there are more crazies in the world then diamonds, #2 - Don't add anyone to FB until you know they are stable.
 ChiSongbird
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 4
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 7:43:11 PM
I think maybe she was rushing things but it depends on what you two mutually talked about that led her to her conclusion of the situation. Either way, probably an overreaction on her part. Also, I think FB gets a lot of people in trouble and things that are posted can be taken way out of proportion.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 5
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 7:44:02 PM
You didn't do anything wrong. Just be really really glad this happened so early on.

Don't be confused. Read the forums. You'll see that there are lots of stories like this and you will realise that you have to be prepared to expect the unexpected.
 ChiSongbird
Joined: 1/2/2011
Msg: 8
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:16:35 PM
Personally I'm new to posting in these forums and the rules for posting seem a tad bit off to me lol. Aren't all posts to some degree attention seeking? Don't get that at all. Isn't the purpose of a forum to express ideas, present questions and get feedback? I'm with you.

Just confused because I posted a question about online dating seeking feedback for what others considered normally and it was deleted. Not sure the reason. I guess someone thought it was attention seeking but really I'm new to this and wanted to know what the norm was to some people. Oh well!
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 10
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:21:31 PM
I think the only thing you can learn from this is not to add people on facebook too soon. At least she didn't actually post her comments on to your FB wall, or message the 'other woman' or your friends. Which she easily could have.
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/25/2011
Msg: 11
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:25:47 PM
OT~ If your question is very similar or the same to ones that are asked and answered repeatedly then it will be deleted and you will usually be advised to do a forum search.

I voted not to delete yours because it seemed specific to your 'newly divorced' situation but in reality there are lots of these 'huh. we just met once and now she thinks we are in a relationship' threads so I'm not surprised it was tagged for deletion.
 GoldinSFla
Joined: 10/21/2011
Msg: 13
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Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:45:17 PM
OP, you may not have done or said anything to make the woman think you two were exclusive. You might have just come across someone who just isnt right in the head. One mistake I think you made is adding her to facebook so soon. I have alot of personal info on facebook, so I have to know someone a while before I'll add them. Unless of course they like the same band as me, then they can be a goth kid from an island in the pacific who Ive never before laid eyes on until they sent me a friend request...but other than that, they better know me well to get added.

Seriously though, other then adding her on FB, you might not have done anything else wrong. She just sounds like she's a bit unstable. I think its a bad idea to see her again of course, but please be careful when letting her know you dont want to go out anymore. Anyone who you've gone on one date with who thinks you're in an exclusive relationship and accuses you of cheating when you make an offhand comment to a woman on a website sounds like she might be a bit cuckoo for cocopuffs.
 MyScreennameRox
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 14
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:05:28 PM
Count your blessings that you dodged a bullet with this stage 5 Clinger.
 MyScreennameRox
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 15
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:12:30 PM
Oh, and if you decide not to see her again, I suggest deleting her from FB before you give her the bad news, not after...for obvious reasons.
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 17
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Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:52:03 PM

Being as this was my first real date since my divorce, I am absolutely confused about the whole dating thing again....

it's the same thing you left, it's just been so long since you qualified anyone for basic compatibility, you forgot you ever had to do that.

it's not wise to assume that a successful date or two or three with someone means there are no issues that can surface. after one date, she barely rose to the level of acquaintance, yet when she acted in an unexpected way, you were blindsided. did you really think you knew so much about her that she couldn't surprise you? review the thought process that unfolded while you were interacting with this woman, from start to finish. i'll bet you'll find a string of assumptions and wishful thinking examples.

this is a story of a contact that looked promising but fizzled. it's perhaps the most common theme of online dating. unless you hit the lottery, you will have many more of these before you find someone to establish something with, so you might want to adjust your expectations accordingly.

good luck.
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 18
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 12:23:24 AM
She be cr-azy! Honestly...what the hell?! Stalking never looks good on anyone. I recommend that you defriended, then block her on here and create some kind of error message if she tries to text you.
 ForumsGee
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 19
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 6:07:28 AM
Facebook causes many problems!

She sounds too possesive and a little unstable.

Hopefully you will find a Lady that will be better suited to you. Good luck!

(ps, not in favor of posting your kids pics on a dating site)..all kinds of weirdo's ..
 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 20
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Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 6:32:55 AM
Ah the dating world....really is simple....run don't walk to the nearest exit and as someone else said good thing you found out so quickly she was a little nuts.
 Former_Yamaha650_Rider
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 21
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 7:06:31 AM
This is what you get when you make your life public through sites like facebook.
Use discretion when you use such sites.

Personally I don't understand why the life of a friend of a friend is something anyone concerns themselves with. Especially since that "friend" might not be a "friend" to your friend at all, but might very well just be someone your friend added upon request since that seem to be the norm these days.

A person you just met have no say so in what you do, that's why you keep them away from your private life until they have become part of it.

To her it looked like you were trolling for other women. Her reaction was over the top but I can understand why she thought you were. I would have thought the same thing. If I'm dating someone or just met someone I have agreed to meet again I don't seek out other men that I don't know and write them.
You might think that an innocent remark on a post is not a big thing but it could very well be. The girl you made the comment to might think you came on to her and could start write you and make little sweet comments on your posts and then you have a whole new set of problems.

Dating need not be confusing if you learn to respect others privacy and guard your own. Don't make your life public and don't let a new person have access to it until they are part of it.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 22
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:21:48 AM

What do you guys think?


Lucky you saw it now.

As for maturity being on her side ...



have you met my ex?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 24
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Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 9:09:31 AM
FB...messing up friendships, relationships, and marriages...creating drama and chaos...blurring the lines between fantasy and reality...just say no!
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 25
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 9:36:57 AM
Contrary to popular opinion, go ahead and FB people--that's one way of knowing if they are nutso or not. You would not have seen this crazy side of her if you hadn't, and lord knows it is easy enough to unfriend someone and cut them from your life with a click of the mouse. Of course, that also depends on how well you use your privacy settings--and new people should be blocked from most of your stuff. Don't put your phone number or address in, either, b/c REAL friends will already have access to that information.

But yeah, she's a nut job. Run. Delete and block. Don't answer email or calls or texts from her. Don't even try to respond to that type of craziness.
 _allen_
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 27
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Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 1:42:28 PM
My personal POF dating Rule #2 - Never handout personal information (i.e. mobile number, SMS, email, social contact information, etc) unless I know for sure she's mentally and emotionally stable person.

Somewhere alone the line, she was under the impression the two of you were an "exclusive item". I'm not sure what you said or did to lead her to this impression, non-the-less it's good you see her actions now as opposed to later.

Kill-off all communications with her and continue your search. This is a new year to begin with a fresh start with women of quality who will be worth your time. Don't fall back into "last years" throwbacks. Reach higher. Demand more from yourself and your date(s).
 ITWYLD
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 28
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:39:00 PM
Hmmmmm.....there is a regular Forum poster (male) who believes in an exclusive relationship before the first date. I would have to agree with him on this point, as it does seem more likely to build trust and a relationship, without either party seeing/dating/getting to know anyone else.

As for Facebook, it appears to cause alot of drama.
 Debisusanne
Joined: 5/3/2011
Msg: 30
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 4:42:17 PM
eh.. i dont think facebook is the issue.. i think i have added about 5 guys.. so far. but the fact is.. my friends.. work associates.. my family is on there.. and I will delete ANY of them if they turn into drama queens..

I am careful what i post on there.. (my mom can seeit.. HELLO)

But... I am NOT monogamous.. till we discuss it.. but if i were 15 .. you would be considered a big cheat to me too.. lol.. hope she grows up soon... back to reality missy!
 redkatt
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 31
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History
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/1/2012 5:30:57 PM
I think you just got lucky.

No really, think of it this way. You found out very early on that she's off her rocker. Count your blessings, trust me and good luck fishing! And take solace in the fact there there are actually some normal woman out there (I should know, I'm one of them).

 jd_tall_dark_hansom
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 33
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History
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/2/2012 1:16:30 AM
Don't stress about it bloke . There is a lot of nutters out there. I have just started dating myself.
One word comes to mind....deceiving. you ladies should be ashamed of the way you carry on.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 34
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/2/2012 4:05:43 AM
OP - 32 year old woman dating a 27 year old guy right ???



ever think about why all the 32 year old guys (and somewhat older) aren't dating her ??


cuz she's psycho man...
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 35
Umm wow, k thanx bye
Posted: 1/2/2012 9:29:52 AM
She was getting over possesive right off the bat, red flag. You should have waited until you knew her a lot better before adding her to facebook.
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