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 2045
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 1
fought for her she found someone elsePage 1 of 1    
so here's what i need help with, I met this girl at work shes friends nice and extremely flirty ( with everyone).... we had an Christmas staff party and we were all over each other... i know her ex bf and he knows me ( his def. not over her) he saw us together and was questioning my motives so me and him talked he was a gentleman about it so i decided to go for it. I saw her a few days after and we were good were talking flirting having fun. She was leaving the country for a few days for work so i texted her have a nice trip and to msg me when she got back so i can take her out for dinner.

A few days after Christmas i noticed that she had updated her statues on Facebook that Santa was good to her this year. i saw her a few days after that at work ( she never texted me) and she came up to me gave me a hug and a kiss and went and started talking to our other co-workers. I didn't give it a second thought and just thought that she wanted some time to catch up with her friends and have girl talk. so i went out for a smoke, so did she with another co worker they were talking i let them be the co worker went inside so she came to me and started talking to me and asking how my Christmas was so i said it was good... i asked how her Christmas was... she said that Santa was good to her... so i asked her what she got... she told me that i didn't want to know ... i replied that i did... she told me that she met someone who i guess works with her at her other job and that their kinda dealing now.... i felt my face turn red and she saw that i was a bit ticked off... so i smiled (Although it was one of the worst fake smiles i ever pulled off) and said well i wish both of you guys the best of luck .... she said " awe thank but see you didnt wanna know".

whats really bugging me is that i fought for her i wanted her to be mine i had to explain to her ex that i really did like her and that i had feelings for her and that i didn't want her for a one night stand... i also had to conviance my friends that she's a good girl and there is something that i see in her that non of em saw.... ( i never fought for someone as i did for her)

so my question is should i keep on fighting for her and how or should i let the fish swim away.... im still kinda sad/mad about it because i feel like i turned out the ultimate loser i lost a friend and a relationship with an awesome person at the same time!!!! any thoughts and advice would be helpful thanks
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 2
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 3:33:31 AM
OP - once a woman chooses another man over you...


you have lost the fight.

even IF she were to let you between her legs at that point, believe me - you ain't fighting for ANYTHING...


this girl is too much for you.


go find another.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 3
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 3:47:37 AM
You lost this one. She wiggled in your net for a while but slipped loose at the last minute.

Nothing you can do.
 Former_Yamaha650_Rider
Joined: 9/4/2011
Msg: 4
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:08:26 AM
Not to be rude but I've shorted your story down:

"I made out with a girl at a party, she left town for a while. When she got back she had met someone. Should I fight for her?"

Answer: No, women are not possessions you fight for. She found someone she's interested in. Leave her be.
 gronkrocks
Joined: 12/4/2011
Msg: 5
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:30:43 AM
Your best bet is to not give a crap. The more you seem like you care, the less likely she'll be to give you a shot once the guy she's seeing screws up. Heck, even better would be for you to date someone else.

Put yourself in her shoes: You kinda like a girl(girlA), but before it went anywhere you ended up with someone else(girlB). Say you date girlB for a bit and then it goes sour and you break up. Now, if girlA was cool, didn't hassle you, maybe tried dating someone else, you might think "Hey, she seems like a good girl, I shoulda been with her in the first place." and you'll probably get with her now.

BUT>>>> if you started dating this girl, but before you could even see how it turns out girlA kept "fighting for you" and became a hassle and girlB dumped you cause of her, than you'd be pissed and you wouldn't give her a chance in a million years!

Just be cool man
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 6
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:51:41 AM

I met this girl at work shes friends nice and extremely flirty ( with everyone).... we had an Christmas staff party and we were all over each other... i know her ex bf and he knows me ( his def. not over her) he saw us together and was questioning my motives so me and him talked he was a gentleman about it so i decided to go for it

Did you ever hear of a wolf in sheep's clothing? Her ex-bf is NOT the person to be telling your business or feelings to. Why? The comment about him definitely not being over her. What was going through your head, really, that you had to go and do THAT? While he did not win her back, he certainly didn't have to worry about you getting her. She most likely tells him EVERYTHING, since she THINKS that he truly has her best interest in mind in the "moving on" department.

However, you made out at a CHRISTMAS PARTY, and she most likely was feeling very good over what she was drinking. Most office parties do not include liquor, so some of the people there bring their own. The fact that she continued to flirt with you is something that she does with everyone, so you feeling lucky over this was not necessary. My guess is that you were her friend for all the wrong reasons. If not, why is staying a friend such an issue?
 4x4fan
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 7
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 4:53:35 AM
If a woman is into you, you wouldn't have to "fight" for her. All it means is that she really wasn't into you. She knew you were interested (most women know when a guy is interested...and definately did when you told her to let you know when she got back so that you could take her out). Oh....another clue that she knew you were interested is that she told you that you didn't want to her about why santa was good to her. She knew you were interested and that telling you that she had met someone was not what you were going to want to hear.

Look, you offered yourself up as a "boyfriend" option for her and she declined and instead chose what was behind door number two. Move on. She has.
 G_giggles
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 8
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 5:08:58 AM
Let her go....trust me someone right will come along.
 2045
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 9
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 8:45:10 AM
Hey guys thanks for the replies.... Just to clearly some stuff me and her work @ a bar so the staff party was at a downtown club.... I'm 22 she's 21 her ex worked at the downtown club and the only reason I felt that I had to explain my self to him was because his somewhat of a friend of mine I mean for new years he invited me to his house after work to party... And his my buddies good buddy and his my bros close friend.... That's the only reason I felt I had to explain my self.

Again thanks for the replies I'm hearing what I wanted to do in the first place which is letting it go just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing.
 funinsun32
Joined: 9/1/2011
Msg: 10
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:58:27 AM
You lost nothing!! If anything count your blessings you didn't waste any more time or energy on her. Better to find out now then down the road and really feel like a fool.
 veevee
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 11
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 11:03:19 AM
Nope don't fight for her. You know the phrase something to the effect of if you love something let it go - if it never returns to you it was never yours. Her excitement level was high and she didn't want to hurt your feelings by making you squeeze it out. Proof enough that she doesn't hate you but thinks this other person is better. You may not have lost the friendship if you want it still.
 frijolera_ninja
Joined: 4/11/2011
Msg: 12
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 11:14:06 AM
I cant even believe your asking shes been with 3 guys already in how short of time? You need to go get some blood work done asap!
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 13
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 11:44:42 AM

whats really bugging me is that i fought for her i wanted her to be mine


And I really fought to save money for that Lamborghini, I wanted 'her' to be mine, but it just wasn't the right time and that lottery ticket I bought didn't win. C'est la vie.


should i keep on fighting for her and how or should i let the fish swim away


The "fish" doesn't want to be caught by you, she's already swam away.
 desert_trekker
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 14
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:26:38 PM
You said you had to convince your friends that she's a good girl and that there is something that you see in her that non of them saw?? Sounds like it's the other way around, your friends see something in her that you didn't see and they know she's not a 'good girl' . RUN, don't let your heart be played with. Run from her and don't look back. Don't even give her a second thought.
 desert_trekker
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 15
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/3/2012 10:28:38 PM
....and why fight someone or pursue a relationship with someone that isn't interested in you.
 Julietsdestiny
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 16
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:28:18 AM
Firstly you didn't 'fight' for her.....She was never yours!
You worked with her, had a few drinks at the office party, then occassioned a little body language.
She woke up the next day and sobered up then went on her trip away.....Probably did the same thing with the next guy she met only took things one step further.
So why did she tell you all about it? She told you so that she could get a reaction from you and she did so she's happy.
Trust me she is not the be all end all.
IF she wanted to be 'yours' then she would have let you know, as it is she didn't want to be yours so she decided to rub it in your face instead of just talking to you and telling you in a nice way.
 ChillinChill
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 17
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:35:24 AM
The lady no doubt KNEW that you wanted to be with her... and she chose someone else.
WTF is there to "fight" for?
 911love
Joined: 11/27/2011
Msg: 18
fought for her she found someone else
Posted: 1/4/2012 5:43:05 PM
It sounds to me like she is playing you! She’s all like "oh you don’t really want to know" and then she tells you anyhow? How immature is that? If she really had any good intentions she would not have said, "oh Santa was good to me", she would have politely told you she needed to talked to you, and told you the deal in private not outside the bar while smoking! You watch I bet whoever she is with gives her the shaft and she tries you again! Don’t go for it! She plays games and it is not worth it! I am sorry she did that to you!
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