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 waterkirby
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 1
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who else is scared to death of peoplePage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
hi i thought i'd come on here to vent a little bit.

does anyone else have as much trouble with other people as I do?

i have serious post traumatic stress disorder from being abused by everyone in my life

the point is I absolutely am confused by women, and I'm scared of them because I feel like there's just no hope anymore.

i'm going to be unhappy for my whole life and I don't want to accept it, but there's nothing I can do but keep rotting inside my skull
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 2
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:41:04 AM
You are aware you have issues which need to be addressed. These things don't/can't fix themselves and require some action from you.

In order to interact with people in even the most basic manner required for daily life, your fear of people has to be addressed and some coping strategies need to be made available to you.

Find a therapist who can help you achieve these skills.
 laskoboo
Joined: 2/12/2010
Msg: 3
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:46:32 AM
Sounds like you need meds and long term counseling with a trained therapist to work on you... before you ever think of dating.

My guess is you will try to bypass working on you and continue through life claiming everyone abuses you because you won;t help yourself... want others to bend to you and suit you rather than grow up.
Lotsa luck, your going to need it.
 waterkirby
Joined: 12/29/2011
Msg: 4
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:24:38 AM
you guys think i'm bad. listen to yourselves.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 5
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:38:08 AM
I don't think you're bad. I do think you are a coward.

You are fully aware that you have some problems - well, everyone has problems. Some serious, some not so much but they matter to the person who has them.

But you have two choices, as does everyone....

You can sit on your a$$ and b1tch and moan about how your life sucks, how badly the world has treated you and how it's all unfair - And that makes you a victim more then anything which you may have endured.

Or you can be brave and face what scares you, do something to address it or at gain the tools to manage it and then you can go out and grab life and live it. And then. despite whatever crap lands in your life, you can deal with it - That bravery is what stops you being a victim. But that takes work, effort, sweat and balls.

I'm guessing you'll go with Option One because in order to do something, you have to take responsibility for yourself and your life, and it's far easier to blame others.

Prove me wrong.
 Blah_User_Name
Joined: 8/27/2011
Msg: 6
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:11:26 AM
The forums seem to be working just fine....As you detailed this as a problem you are having, I'll help you out by posting the information you sent to my Inbox, on your behalf.




Subject: Hi
From: waterkirby
Sent Date: 1/4/2012 11:05:38 AM
View Profile View All Messages Chat with waterkirby

sorry to message you but the forum isn't working...

i agree that I don't need a sexual relationship. but i do need friends, and that's my issue with women. they seem to be so high and mighty that they're too good to even be my friends.

and for your information... i've gone through Hell the past 3 years with the mental health system.

i don't know where you people get off telling me it's "my fault" I was abused, but you definitely need to shut your opinionated ignorant mouths if that's what you're going to say to me.


In order to get friends, you need to be a friend. A positive, upbeat, giving friend. Once you become that, you will find friends, some will be male and some will be female. Until then, friends are strangers you haven't met.

Okay - so you've had a tough time for three years. Want to hear my story - It lasted for 11 years ? Want to hear the story of all of us ? Just some of us ?

That's the point. We all have stories. We all have crap which we have to deal with or be buried by. Those who deal with it, refer to it as life experiences. Those who don't deal with it, tend to call it a problem - which is something it will remain as, until it's addressed.

I haven't once said your issues are your own fault - but the way you deal with them and let them affect the rest of you life, is entirely on you.

This is a public forum. You came here asking our opinions. Now, I really don't care if I have offended you with mine - but the fact you are offended by it, is normally an indication that it happens to be right. If it wasn't, you would simply dismiss it as nonsense rather then attacking.

Jeez, you find that opinion offending ? You should hear the ones which I keep to myself !
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 7
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:37:46 AM
Waterkirby,

I hope you don't think Im being mean, Im a tell it is kind of guy, but you seriously have issues you need to resolve, whining about it wont help, doing something about it you know take action is what separates the producers from the consumer.

A producer takes actions,knows that if its to be its up to me, consumers consume , blame, cant cope and lashes out.

You are twenty years old, you have lots of life left to live, live each moment as if its your last day, Many years ago I was in a car accident which a friend of mine died, I survived , hit from by drunk driver, I used to be sooooo negative about life and that woke me up, without hope you have no life.

Do yourself a favor , get off the computer ask your parents to help you pick out a therapist and deal with your issues, once you have come back to the site, you will notice people will be attracted to you because of you instead of abusing you.

Its all starts with you Man.
 U make it entertaining
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 8
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:39:19 AM

you guys think i'm bad. listen to yourselves.


You asked ...
People answered.

There is no quick fix for the dilemma you are in.
You need find yourself a "GOOD" therapist and start working on your issues.

There is no other option.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 9
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 8:39:25 AM
You will start to change when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing.

No matter how you were abused in the past, today it is up to you to make the best of your life.

Until you're ready to do that, there's no point in asking for advice.
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 10
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:35:48 AM
I'm not much for being an enabler so you probably wont like my post either.

I don't need to know your exact circumstance to know there are many in this world that have suffered a great deal more and have chosen to persevere. In fact...I'll bet you couldn't throw a rock without hitting someone that has had a tougher time and yet chooses to pick themselves up and make the best of this one life we've been given.

Shortly after my daughter was born...she developed spinal meningitis. We found ourselves with her in ICU at a children's hospital and I had a severe case of "woe is me". Until I visited the parents lounge...admittedly seeking empathy. It wasn't long before I overheard the "regulars" in the lounge talking to each other about their children that I began to feel like the biggest freakin' loser to visit this planet. It was probably the first time I had to really get my sh1t together and deal. I know it was the last time I let feeling sorry for myself get in the way of dealing.

You need to start dealing with whatever issues you have and stop blaming others for your unemployment and unhappiness.

Your inability to deal with your past experiences are the cause of your present and future issues.

You need to put on and pull up your big boy pants and get on with it already.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 11
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:03:54 AM
Have you considered volunteering at a soup kitchen or group home since you are not working right now?
It will get you out of the house, you will get a sense of belonging by helping others and it will do you good to see other people with real problems fighting to make their way in the world and not giving up.
The past is the past, you can either let it go or let it keep you down.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 12
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 12:29:53 PM

Sounds like you need meds


You sound like a doctor!!!!????? WTF is with people nowadays and meds????? Is that the new cure all/be all or what????

OT,,,son,get your bum off the seat you are sitting on,and go get some help. Don't tell us how hard it is either,,,,some people here have been thru a lot,,,so sob stories don't work. In fact,,,,you can even use "Google" if you really need to.

Nothing you are going thru hasn't been gone thru before despite the thinking in your head that you are the only one dealing with the problems you are. In fact,if I was a betting man, I'm bettin there a lot of people with a lot more BIGGER problems that what you are dealing with.

Wanna bet?????? Huh,,,huh????? Ya wanna????
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 13
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 2:38:16 PM
Oh, piffle. He isn't a coward, he isn't obviously defective.

He's twenty, and he's severely emotionally injured. He's still in recovery, and will be for a while yet. That sort of recovery includes doses if fear, intermittent urges to seek revenge, by trying to do to others emotionally what what done to you, the writing of bad poetry and painfully depressed-sounding forum posts and lots more.

Op, keep working on your recovery. Read lots of threads here, they can let you directly witness lots of examples of what you are going through, as well as examples of people who committed the harm you suffered, to someone else.

When I was just a little older than you, I was victimized and betrayed, by literally everyone I thought were close friends, save for my immediate relatives. Ultimately, I came to see MANY years later, that it all happened more because of how ignorant and immature we ALL were, than that everyone was a rapacious, selfish liar. But for a long two years, I literally thought I was a member of the living dead, from an emotional standpoint, and that everyone on the planet was complete scum.

You WILL get through it and recover yourself, but it takes time. Eventually, you might gain tremendous insights and enrichment from what you've been through, and become better than you would have been without it. I did. Good luck, and keep working.
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 14
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 4:24:58 PM
Hey OP, gosh what can I say. So bummed out by life are you! Pretty common in your age group. I had a good friend, female, who was trying to 'grow into' her identity as a lesbian. Before she 'came out' officially to her friends and family, she used to describe herself as a 'turd smeared on a garbage can'.

I was horrified by her description of herself, since I knew her as a creative caring really fun person.

Most of us have periods where we don't feel like we belong, no one understands us, and we will be miserable forever.

Lots of guys have confessed to me, now that they are mature adults, that they were very afraid of women and dating and all that it implies. You are not alone.

Don't despair. Persevere. It will get better. Or at least different! Everything will be OK in the long run.
 Lolita_LeBron
Joined: 1/12/2011
Msg: 15
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:03:57 PM
@Igor:
I've always respected your view points---they make a lot of sense. However, the OP doesn't make it sound like he wants to recover. Getting negative attention and playing the victim seems like a goal for him.
 mildmike
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 16
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 6:14:57 PM
I think people are right when they say you may need help, and also remember that time can heal your wounds. Just be patient in the healing process, is it will not happen overnight. Eventually you will be able to deal with the problem and get over it and be happy.
 ruspukin
Joined: 9/29/2010
Msg: 17
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 7:31:41 PM
forgive those who have persecuted you, and learn to see them with the eyes of compassion...then do this the rest of your life...
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 18
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:38:55 PM
Hey Waterkirby, think about this quote:

“The pessimist complains about the wind;
The optimist expects it to change;
The realist adjusts the sails.”

By William Arthur Ward
 BegrabMeinHerz
Joined: 10/10/2011
Msg: 19
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:52:16 PM

hi i thought i'd come on here to vent a little bit.

No Kirby, you came here because you needed someone to listen.

The reason you think these people are ignorant is because of what is rotting in your skull. They are giving you the best advice they can based on the little you've told them and their own lifes experiences.

However they cannot fathom you inner thoughts and feeling because they have not suffered what you have.

Read what they have said without the anger you feel and you will discover some of the advice is good and some does not apply too you.

You are starting to give up and it is too early for that.


If you want too see ignorant read some of the other threads about mental illness.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 20
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/5/2012 12:32:15 AM
your profile states that you are suffering from PTSD

find a therapist who specializes in that.

and in order to make a friend: try being friendly to one person, if that fails..move on to someone else.

continue to go to or volunteer at the soup kitchen and meet people their.
 HiroProtagonist99
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 21
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:09:40 AM
Hi Kirby,

I does sound as if what a psychiatrist would characterize as some form of anxiety disorder. The majority of the human population goes through a period in their life such as what you are now (I certainly did). I would, however, agree with the majority of posters here that you shouldn't date until you love yourself, simply because being content (_NOT_ happy) and single is better than being in a relationship and miserable.

I would like to point out that empathy and anxiety are antagonist emotions, in that if you feel empathic you cannot feel anxious, and vice versa. There is physiological reasons for this, in how the anxiety center of your brain (the amygdala) works. So a major solution to feeling sorry for yourself is to help others. Carolann0308's idea of volunteering in _any_ sort of capacity is a good one, especially if you help those who are less fortunate than yourself.

One cannot stop anxiety by fighting it, you have to accept it and then let it go a little bit each day. The thing to do is when you're feeling ok and centered, and suddenly an anxious thought wells out of your subconscious, is to consciously recognize what just happened and that it doesn't help. Then go do anything positive, whether it be a few pushups or the dishes or whatever.

At mammals have emotions, but what separates the humans from the animals is our ability to act in spite of our fear, our uncertainty, and our doubt.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 22
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/5/2012 12:34:43 PM
who else is scared to death of people

Hmmm...not scared of people.
I AM scared of people HERE however.
Was that your question?
 Jaimes004
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 23
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/5/2012 1:02:08 PM
If you do as you have always done, you will get what you have always gotten!

Time for a change.
 stevie205
Joined: 9/11/2011
Msg: 24
who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/5/2012 1:21:53 PM
We all have the fear in the beginning mate i know how you feel you gotta keep ytring try not to let stuff get you down we,re all the same kicking the weed helped me a lot to reconnect socially it,s hard going though keep your chin up mate
 ProteusVulgaris
Joined: 3/15/2011
Msg: 25
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who else is scared to death of people
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:28:48 PM
I wouldn't say I'm scared to death of people, but if I'm thrown in a room full of people and I'm by myself I get a tad anxious, and then feel completely awkward.
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